Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Kyle Dunnigan!
Uploaded: 2023-08-27T23:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Kyle Dunnigan!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Kyle Dunnigan!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-27. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Kyle Dunnigan!

Is it trashy if your dad took you to the prison he works at to get a free
haircut?
No complaining about that cut, I'll tell you that.
No, it looks great. Thanks so much. Take care, guys.
Now, who would cut the hair? Would it be an inmate or would it be like a barber
that they hired?
An inmate?
That's got to be a lead. That's crazy.
I'm sure you skipped a lollipop, too, on the way out the door.
No, thanks. I'm good.
Gang, get your tickets for all the cities on the State Trashy Tour at RUGarbage.com.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage,
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out
if they're going to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She just started a new little business for herself.
Okay.
Stealing catalytic converters.
Shout out to her.
Yeah.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me, slightly unamused this week.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world, and
I love him.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
What up, gang?
There he is.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube, as you know those numbers are.
True to ref.
Cooking.
And then the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com, gang.
It's a fucking party over there.
Check it out.
Yes, sir.
And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer, Extraordinaire, the magic
man.
Makes us all look good.
Works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours.
He crosses the T's, and he dots the I's.
And he's no stranger to an ollie.
I can tell you that.
Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins.
Toby McMullen, everybody.
Hey, what's up?
Oh, the round of applause is throwing me off.
There you go.
Oh, my.
You were clapping at me like a dad.
Proud his kid just hit a home run, man.
Holy crap.
Proud of him.
I'm excited.
We got a great guy in the edition.
I've been hearing about him for years.
I'm stoked.
Yeah, and the long hair ain't lying.
We couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly,
special guest here with
us today for the first time.
He is a very funny stand-up comedian and actor, and you might have seen him in,
but not
limited to.
Here we go, gang.
We got Happy Family.
Cedric the Entertainer presents Trainwreck.
Inside Amy Schumer, 12 episodes of that.
Also produced on that show and wrote 39 episodes.
Then you got 16 episodes of Reno 911.
You got Immortal Compass.
You got Crank Yankers.
Garfunkel and Oates.
He's got his own Comedy Central Presents.
The Jim Brewer Show.
Conan.
Jimmy Kimmel.
Craig Ferguson.
How We Do It.
Your Mom's House.
Seth Meyers.
Tiger Belly.
TVTF.
The Howard Stern Show.
Lights Out with David Spade.
The Joe Rogan Experience.
He has his own YouTube page that's got about 400,000 subscribers.
And you can watch the Fresh Prez of DC and the Kyle Dunnigan show over there.
And he's on tour right now.
Ladies and gentlemen, give it up for the one and the only, Kyle Dunnigan.
That was the most, I've never had someone get that many credits.
Killing it.
You're a worker, baby.
Happy Family.
I was fired from it.
I still got paid.
And I never made the air.
Well, you know what?
I have like a, I can't read well.
I might jam you up in the acting biz.
Wait, why can't you read well?
You know, things are backwards and I just, I read like a, I have to go back and
forth.
Like I guess words and I get to the end of the sentence.
I go, that wasn't, that wasn't believe.
That was a different.
And then I go back, I go, oh, was that, it takes me forever.
So I just don't really read.
Okay.
And then, you know, when you audition, I'd have to memorize everything in order
to audition.
Sure.
So I, there was like five callbacks.
It was a lot to get this part.
It was like a recurring role in this NBC show.
And then I got it.
And then I go to the table read and they do, the network comes, you know, they
call it a network table read.
So it's high pressure and everyone, the writers are, everyone's laughing at
throwing jokes and everything.
And it's usually, you kill usually.
But they go like five minutes.
Hey God, we got eight new lines for you.
We have some new lines.
And I was like, in my head, I was like, I'm fired.
Oh no.
And I should have said, I should have said, listen, I can't read.
I don't know how to read.
This is discrimination.
But I had that just hopeful, like, maybe I'll do it this time.
Sure.
So they come, everyone's just killing, everyone's laughing.
And then they get to my line.
And I swear it was just like, we should take, we should get to the stye, stye,
or we should get to the store before might night.
Before might night, midnight, it's like dead silence.
Next person, laugh, laugh, laugh, comes back to me.
I'm like, hey, Susan, see ya, Susan.
And just like, and I walked, I'm like, I'm fired, I'm fired.
And I walked up.
And then the next, I didn't hear anything.
I went back the next day.
And I get to the studio and the cast director was like, arms, like, really?
No.
And then she goes, um, yeah, they're going to, like, get somebody else.
But, um, you get, you're going to Iraq tomorrow, right?
I was going to Iraq the next day.
Okay.
Like, that was a, you get to go to Iraq tomorrow.
Like, she's like, you got that going for you?
How do you feel about war zones, Kyle?
And then we went to a.
You got those IEDs, huh?
Yeah.
We went to Iraq and it was like a six day thing.
And then our hotel got mortar attacked.
Jesus.
It was, it was the lobby I was in.
Well, NBC really didn't want you, huh?
Send them to Iraq and bomb them.
Anyway, thanks for saying the credit.
What is the backstory of Kyle Dunnigan?
Give us the, give us the full scoop.
Where'd you grow up?
Give us the story.
What a disaster.
I grew up in Weston, Connecticut, which is a.
Connecticut.
Okay.
Yes.
Westport is like the town you'd go to.
Weston's like houses.
So we grew up in Weston outskirts in the boondocks.
And, uh, you know, nice family, um, older brother and sister, uh, parents
stayed together
till God killed my dad with a brain tumor.
Okay.
Okay.
Not sure why he did that, but.
Bit of a dick move if you ask me.
Not the nicest thing.
That's all.
We had a good thing going here.
And so, um.
What did they do?
What'd your mom and dad do for a living?
My father was a lawyer.
Okay.
Cause I was going to say, we've seen the house on the gram, right?
Yeah, it is on the.
It ain't too shabby.
Yeah.
My mom's in a nice.
Actually, that's her home.
Well, you shoot in it.
We're not doing research.
Yeah.
You shoot a bunch of sketches in the house.
Right?
We're not driving around with the star maps out in Weston, Connecticut.
Some of your biggest sketches were shot in the house.
We know where Craig lives.
They're in viral videos, dude.
Yeah.
You haven't noticed the flower truck parked outside for the last five months?
I, when I got here, you guys said this was a safe space.
I swear they said that.
I was like, okay, thank you.
And it's like abuse.
Don't spit this on us.
All right.
Anyway.
So, yeah, my mom actually grew up on that property, knocked her childhood home
down.
Okay.
And then built this McMansion.
But here's the story, because my dad was an airplane lawyer.
What's that?
What is that?
He focused on airplane crashes.
He had a specialty.
No shit.
He was a pilot.
He had like a tiny little plane.
He almost died in five times.
But it was just like, meh, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah.
It was like a Toyota, and then just like one engine with like a, bah.
And he's like, well, we're fine.
It's like what everyone dies in.
Sure.
So, he had got this huge case.
Now, he, before this, he never made a lot of money.
And he had this law firm, and they just were sucking.
He was a very hard worker.
But he would go on vacation for a month, and the law firm would lose money.
So, he just was always frustrated.
So, then this big airplane crash happened.
Ron Brown, it was like a Croatia crash.
Cha-ching, let's go.
I mean, yeah, whenever the plane crash was like.
So, a bunch of multimillionaires on the plane.
The way it works is if.
An airliner or private?
It was a private plane.
It was kind of a famous crash because Ron Brown was on it.
He was like the Secretary of Treasury or something.
And there was just like eight multimillionaire, maybe more than that, rich
people.
And so, if a plane, if they find out it's someone's fault, then there's someone
to sue.
And it was like the maps were out of date.
My dad found out the maps were out of date.
There was like a reason why they crashed, and it was someone's fault.
So, then what happens is you go and you go, okay, how much would this person
have made if they survived?
Because they should have survived.
They shouldn't have died.
So, then the first wife got $19 million, and then the lawyer gets a third of
that.
But my dad got the brain tumor like way early.
And so, he had to split the first thing.
So, it was like $5 million.
So, he got like $2.5 million.
No, but he was like, they were kind of in debt, and like my mom never worked a
day in her life.
Is this before the house was built?
Yeah, this is, they're in Weston, and he's kind of in debt, but he's never made
money.
And are you alive for this?
I was alive.
You were born, okay.
Yes, yes.
This is, he died in like, I was like 27 or something.
So, he got that money from my mom so she wouldn't have to work again.
But, it was not like, if he just lived another year, he would have made like $60
million.
Just off each person's life.
Just because he did the first case, and the rest just settled like boop, boop,
boop like that.
But he got sick, and he wasn't able to do it.
But he got that little bit, and so my mom's like set up.
But she's not like crazy rich.
Gotcha.
She's fine.
Does the law firm still exist?
His law firm.
When he got that case, he left that law firm and started his own.
And then they sued him, and they took his car.
Jesus.
And then.
Still got the plane.
Yeah.
Well, no.
There was like co-owned by like two other people.
And then.
It's like a spider web up there.
Yeah, no, it's a lot.
I think it's getting screwed left and right.
This guy can't catch a break.
Yeah, yeah.
So, anyway.
I'm not sure what the point of my story was.
Oh, and when 9-11 happened, like, they were trying to get a hold of him.
He drove down.
No, but.
Get in the car.
No, he had died before that.
But they were looking for him.
Like, because he was the plane crash guy.
You know what I mean?
Wait, it's Mr. Dunnigan-esque quiet.
So, he would have.
I mean, my dad would have made a lot of money.
It's not about the money, guys.
Sure.
It's about the love for law.
Sure.
That's how all lawyers get in.
They love arguing.
Look.
I was down in round zero.
Oh, wait.
This might be a garbage thing I did.
Okay.
Well.
What, did you rob a bank on 9-11?
What do you mean?
A little worse than that.
I wish I robbed a bank.
So, I had this Pizza Hut campaign.
You know when they go, you have a campaign of commercials.
You've just won the lottery.
Sure.
Progressive lady.
As a comic.
You've seen these things happen to other people.
So, I go to this audition, and I somehow got the new Pizza Hut guy.
It's Kyle Dunnigan.
Oh, shit.
Okay.
And I'm broke, and I'm in California.
I'm like, well, let's just go mansion shopping, shall we?
And so, I do the first four, and it's like millions of dollars they're spending
on these.
Okay.
We shut down Rodeo Drive, and the director's like, you're going to make some
goddamn money.
What's the action, if you don't mind?
Because I know that they're very lucrative, but what's the actual, like, what'd
you get paid for that?
They don't pay you up