Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Back to School w/ Joe List
Uploaded: 2023-08-30T23:00:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Back to School w/ Joe List' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Back to School w/ Joe List' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-08-30. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Back to School w/ Joe List

Is it trashy if your dad took you to the prison he works at to get a free
haircut?
No complaining about that cut, I'll tell you that.
No, it looks great. Thanks so much. Take care, guys.
Now, who would cut the hair? Would it be an inmate or would it be like a barber
that they hired?
An inmate?
That's got to be a lead. That's crazy.
I'm sure you skipped a lollipop, too, on the way out the door.
No, thanks. I'm good.
Gang, get your tickets for all the cities on the State Trashy Tour at RUGarbage.com.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage,
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out
if they're good to be classy.
Yeah.
Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition.
She's upstairs getting plowed by somebody.
Okay.
I don't know what's going on up there.
My co-host is coming at you right next to me.
I'm trying to sneak one in on him.
Sure.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman, and he is not to be trifled with in the
boardroom or the bedroom.
Okay.
It's KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
What's up, gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are...
True to Rev.
Cookin'.
Cookin'.
And obviously, the greatest website of all time.
I ain't got to tell nobody that.
Sing it, sister.
www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage, gang.
You go over there, it's a goddamn party.
Well over 10,000 members of that.
Yes, sir.
And the second greatest website of all time, RU Garbage.com.
Get your tics for the live shows, some t-shirts, some Zippo-style lighters.
Add it to Philly's show.
Philly, come out.
Let's sell that baby out.
Also, add it to third Toronto show.
Get out of here.
Get out of here.
Holy shit.
Shout out to the Canucks, baby.
And how about a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the old
magic man back
there, rockin' the shorts lately, showin' the gams.
Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins.
Toby McMullen, everybody.
What up, dudes?
What up, T-Bone?
I'm stoked.
We got the good homie in the crib, man.
It's a fun day.
It is.
Grab some chocolate chip ice cream.
Get a whoopie pie in you.
Let's have a good time.
I tell you, man.
He's like a breath of fresh air when he comes in.
The weather's turned a little bit.
He came in complainin'.
I'm a big complainer.
He was worried about flesh-eating diseases.
I'm not worried about the flesh-eating.
Sometimes this happens.
I get mistook for a worrier.
I want to, I mean, I worry about things.
Well, you start, we're like, hey, Joe, how are you?
A flesh-eating disease?
That's not a worry.
That's a worry.
No, I said, I was like, did you guys hear about this?
Because we were talking heat, the temperature.
Sure, okay.
By the way, I'm about to have a child.
I'm complaining.
Foley's over there being like, you hear?
It's 180 in Texas.
Babies can't survive.
Everything's dying.
And so I was trying to yes and, and supposedly-
We were riffing, Jerry.
I'm not concerned, but evidently the, what do you call them?
The muscles, the-
Oysters.
Oysters are causing flesh-eating diseases.
The ligaments.
But I don't eat the hoof.
I don't eat oysters.
I think you're in the clear.
I don't worry about flesh-eating, but I thought it was just a topic, but this
happens to me
a lot in my life, where I'll be like this, what time does the show start?
Don't worry.
Don't be nervous.
And I'm like, I'm just wondering what time the show is.
Yeah, like the agent on Seinfeld.
Oh, Katie.
Katie.
Yes, exactly.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, stop freaking out.
Yes.
Gotcha.
I'm freaking out.
You got to worry about the Chinese, I think, more for the kid.
Oh, boy.
World War III.
That's what I'd worry about, not the oysters.
Man, I'm between two Looney Tunes right now.
And AI.
AI, here we are.
AI, climate change.
Don't worry about Skynet, baby.
It's a nice day.
Open the door.
Take a step outside.
Don't worry about the Clams Casino.
You'll be all right.
Game, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly
special guest
back with us again today.
He was just here with the missus.
Yeah.
But he's got a fucking brand new special out right now on the YouTube page.
Enough for everybody.
Give it up for Jolten.
Joe List, everybody.
Thank you.
One of the best.
I appreciate you guys having me.
I know it's very close.
I was just here with Sarah.
No, but do you love it, buddy?
You're family.
Open invite.
Open invite always.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Don't worry about it.
Stop freaking out, List.
Jesus Christ.
That I was worried about.
But yeah, please, check out the special.
Enough for everybody.
I got demonetized.
They're censoring me.
I'm trying to do the censorship.
Bad boy in comedy.
I said the C word.
I thought it was pretty innocuous, but they got me.
They got you.
They fooled me, Jerry.
Buddy, that thing's cooking, man.
Yeah, congratulations.
It's awesome.
If you haven't listened to, I'm sure, or watched a lot of people out there, go
fucking
check it out.
He's one of the best.
You're cranking them out.
It seems like every three weeks.
You're everywhere.
Thanks.
Yeah, it's three and three and a half-ish years, so I feel pretty good.
So yeah, go check it out, please, for the love of Pete.
I got a baby to feed.
One of the absolute best comedians working.
And a goddamn movie star, for Christ's sake.
What are we doing here?
This kid's Hollywood.
I wish.
Yeah, we made a film.
I'm working on another documentary film.
I'll hit you guys back up to come back.
Is that about the oysters?
He's going to move in here in a couple of weeks.
I'm dying to.
This is better than my apartment.
Your studio is bigger than my parents' house.
I grew up in a smaller house than this.
Really?
It's got my maybe clothes, yeah.
Honestly.
It's bigger than my apartment.
It's bigger than my apartment.
Yeah, I think square footage is probably bigger here than my parents' house.
We had a yard.
It's pretty good.
Look at you, huh?
It's pretty good.
I don't know what you're worried about.
They'll give us water in there.
It's pretty good.
By the way, I had a sighting of the list not that long ago.
Oh, yeah.
I think I was hopping out of a cab out in the neighborhood there, and it was
you and about
five or six of your family members.
They were scurrying down the street trying to get to a cookie place before it
closed.
That's right.
Chip City.
That's right.
Chip City.
Chip City.
And they weren't waiting for each other, man.
There was somebody in the back with a stroller.
I don't think they got anything.
My brother-in-law's name is Chip.
And we went in there, and I did a big thing.
They hated me.
I was like, guys, I want everyone to guess this guy's name.
Gary?
And the three of them were just staring like this.
And I went, come on, one guess.
And then one guy went, Chip.
And we went, yeah!
We all went crazy.
And there was no emotion.
Force got to do that that day.
Yeah.
There was no emotion.
We went, all right.
Sorry about that.
Hey, buddy.
We're closing in 10 minutes.
But I think they were catching a train, and we wanted to get our big cookie.
They're all right, man.
Shout out to Chip City.
They're fantastic.
They're fun.
Highly recommend Chip City.
But, yeah.
They're coming back.
Tell me this isn't hurtful.
My niece is going to college.
Okay.
Pace University.
And they're moving her in.
And so I'm like, we're going to go to the Mets game.
We're going to go to the cellar.
We'll get some wings.
We'll go to the high line.
Family's in town.
Yeah.
And they booked the morning train, Saturday morning.
Move in is 2 p.m.
And they got an evening train back.
Ouch.
In and out.
That ain't great.
It's a holiday.
Weekend, I might add.
Yikes.
Not even like, hey, let's grab a dinner.
Let's anything.
We got to get back.
The snow's coming.
The roads will be terrible.
Jesus.
In and out.
But they would have had to get a hotel and stuff like that.
Man, they really didn't like that chip then, huh?
Maybe they'd have to get it.
You might think, well, a hotel is very pricey holiday weekend.
I have an additional studio office downstairs.
I have a bed.
It's a basement.
It's a basement.
But it's furnished.
It looks like.
What kind of bed's in there?
A nice bed.
I'll tell you what.
It's a very nice bed.
It's a full-size bed.
And when Sarah, the reason it's downstairs, we ordered a bed frame.
And I forgot about the existence of full-size bed.
I just thought of twin and queen.
So I was like, we have a queen.
Because I used to have a twin as an adult.
Yikes.
And keep your nudie bags underneath there.
Wait.
Well, what age were you in a twin?
I'd rather not say.
35.
Whoa.
Yeah.
You and Sarah weren't living together yet, were you?
No, we had separate places.
Okay.
Separate knobs.
And both of you would sleep in the separate bed.
She would sleep over?
No, I stayed at her place.
Okay.
And what I thought was-
She had a futon.
She had a full, but I thought it was a queen.
So I was like, we got to get a bed frame.
Man, that's how trashy you are.
I know.
And there was mattress on the ground situation.
So I was like, we got to get a frame.
We're married.
We're men with jobs, Jerry.
So I ordered.
And I was like, well, we have a queen.
And Sarah was like, are you sure?
And I'm like, yeah, because mine's a twin.
So this has got to be a queen.
So they showed up and built the bed frame, the two guys.
And then they put the mattress.
And they were like, this isn't-
You know this is the wrong size, right?
And I had to be like this.
Of course.
Yeah, this is a bed I'm doing.
So this is a sleeping bag?
I was like, the new mattress is on its way.
And so we slept for like one full year on a queen-size bed frame with a full-size
mattress.
So Chip and the family would have had to stay in the basement in a full-size
bed with a queen-size bed frame.
Am I having that right?
No, the bed frame, we've later bought a queen.
So now the frame and mattress match.
Match.
But on the floor, on the mattress.
I'm on Chip's side.
Yeah.
Oh, shit.
Thanks for the cookies.
We'll see you at Christmas.
Well, we call it the Mets game.
The cellar.
The wings.
You've had them hopping the fence to get in.
Yeah.
Wait till that security guard turns his back.
Then we're all clear.
So all you have to do is hand out a couple of flyers after the show.
But now I have my niece living in the city.
That's cool.
So I can show her all the Chipotles and the Starbucks.
There you go.
Fucking John Q America over here.
All the ins and outs of New York City.
We wanted to ask you about, because it's the, you know, we're creeping towards
the end of
the summer here.
As I said in the beginning, the weather changes and you just get that feeling
of the first
day of school.
Back to school, baby.
Did that excite you as a kid?
I was, I would probably say you were a little worried.
I was nervous about going back to school always, but it depends on what year we're
talking.
High school, I really came into my own.
I was really moving and shaking.
I had friends.
I was very popular in high school, believe it or not.
I believe that.
And so that, high school, I was like, I couldn't wait to get back and see
everybody.
I had like an audience and I was an athlete, so that was exciting.
But elementary school, I was definitely shitting my pants.
Yeah, I wasn't a fan of that either.
No, it was nerve wracking.
But summer also could be a bummer because like I just got dropped off at my
grandmother's.
We didn't go to like.
It could be lonely, those like elementary school, junior high days of like, the
day seemed like
a hundred hours long and you were just fucking there yet.
Somebody was watching you, you're by you