Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Free Sample Etiquette w/ Kippy & Foley
Uploaded: 2023-09-20T23:00:04.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Free Sample Etiquette w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Free Sample Etiquette w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-09-20. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Free Sample Etiquette w/ Kippy & Foley

Gang, the Stay Trashy Tour is coming to a city near you.
Stand-up comedy, plus we play a little AYG with the crowd.
Shows are selling out and you can get your tickets at RUGarbage.com.
See you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.
This is RUGarbage.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out
if they grew it to be classy.
Yeah.
Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash trash tray.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tootie's in the new edition.
Little news on her.
She was the big winner at Bingo last night.
Great.
Going to be in the newspaper.
Awesome.
Not for Bingo, though.
D-W-I.
My host is coming at you from across the table.
Got a head like a chickpea, but we love him.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
Thanks a lot, High Hair.
I thought that was kind of good.
Happy to be here.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate me.
Nothing on that.
Make sure you rate me.
You should have been shitting on his family before.
Make sure you rate me.
If you subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube, as you know, those
numbers are.
True to Rope.
Cooking.
Then, obviously, the greatest website of one of the two greatest websites.
of all time, www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage.
You go over there, and you get a bajillion hours of content.
I'm talking multiple Wild World videos.
You got the boat video.
You got the Charleston video.
You got all, I mean, cribs, vacation, road tour vlog.
Hard feelings.
Hard feelings.
Bonus episodes every week.
Check it the frick out, gang.
It's like a network over there.
It is.
And then, also, the second greatest website of all time, www.rugarbage.com,
baby.
Get some pics.
Go over there.
You get all the live show tickets you need to the Stay Trashy Tour, which, I
got to be
honest with you, are selling the frick out.
Yes.
So, go get those tickets before they're sold out, and you're stuck out in the
cold.
We love you, gang.
How about a nice quick shout out to our producer, extraordinaire?
I forget when I need him sometimes, and I really bit me in the ass on that 30.
He is a kick-flipping stand-up comedian from the backwoods of North Carolina.
By the way, it's Chicago, Illinois.
Give it up for Toby McMullin, everybody.
What up, boys?
What up, T-Bone?
So, is the hair supposed to be like a helmet?
Is it protective?
It's high today.
Is it woofing?
It's, whew, baby.
It looks strong.
Looks like fucking Tony Hawk's going to drop in on that thing.
It looks like the wave in the perfect storm.
It flips the boat.
Oh, man, going down with the ship.
That's up there.
Yeah, it's high today.
It doesn't look bad.
It's just-
It's getting a little longer.
Looks good.
You don't say.
It's getting a little longer, and I've been blow-drying it.
I've been getting it completely dry, combing it back, and then just using a
little bit
of crew-forming cream in it.
So, that's kind of what it is.
I'm going to get a little trimmed up.
It's great.
Get trimmed.
Get my eyebrows done.
Get the ears cleaned out.
There you go.
Not doing the nose anymore.
I had a really bad infection when I had my nose hair pulled.
It's no good.
This has been gross hour with H. Foley, everybody.
Ingrown hairs and infections with you.
We're two minutes in.
Hey, nothing's going to break my mood today.
I don't care how much you make fun of me.
It's fucking the fall, and it feels good out there.
It feels very nice out there.
Crisp in the air.
A season of smells, if I can say that.
I want to hear a man of smells, too.
Don't sell yourself short, big guy.
I love the way it smells in the city.
Of course.
I mean, when you get that, you know what's great?
Crisp day, you get that hamburger smell.
It's like a restaurant's nearby.
Okay.
And it smells like burgers.
You don't get that?
How about pizza?
You get like that onion sauce smell?
I don't equate that to weather.
Yeah, I don't know.
It moves through the air better when it's nice out.
When there's a little bit of a light breeze and the humidity's low and the barometric
pressure.
Plus, it saves you some steps, because you start floating towards the cartoon.
Like a fucking moth to a light.
Jesus Christ.
I feel like a good hamburger.
Speaking of, so, all right, I got something I want to get into.
This is a little hard feelings-esque.
Okay.
Because I had hard feelings with the gentleman in front of me in line at a
store, but it
does bring up an etiquette thing, which we tend to talk about a lot on these
shows.
Okay.
How to operate out there in the world for a couple of bozos.
Sure.
I was at a, I want to say, not a frozen yogurt place, like an ice cream place.
A little more of a higher-end ice cream place.
Were you?
Yeah.
My wife likes it, so we were there.
I'm not a sweets man.
I've said this a bunch.
Can I just have a dinner roll?
You got any old dressants back there?
It's more of a gelato spot.
That's the word I'm looking for.
Italian gelato.
Which, what is the difference?
I know custard, there's egg in it, which doesn't get enough love.
Frozen custard really has gotten bamboozled.
Okay.
You don't do Core Brothers down ashore on the boardwalk?
I'm not a big ice cream guy.
When it does, I'm a Philly man through and through, so Rita's water ice all day,
every
day.
Shout out to the chocolate, the vanilla, the root beer.
Man, a root beer water ice with a soft pretzie.
So underrated.
Talk me in.
Yeah, it's all right.
Also, shout out to Bassett's ice cream.
Bassett's ice cream, yeah.
Philadelphia original.
The best vanilla in the world.
What is gelato?
Do you know?
You're a man of the world.
I do know.
The difference between gelato and ice cream is ice cream is made with cream and
gelato
is made with milk.
Really?
Yep.
Just ruined my day.
I thought it'd be more cream.
It's creamier.
Why is that so upsetting?
Bummer.
I don't know.
I thought there'd be a little more something in there.
Extra sugar or something?
I can't trust these Italians.
Goddamn swindlers.
They're skimming the fucking, skimming the ice cream, these fucking guys.
What the fuck?
Yeah, I don't know.
That's it?
Gelato to me is more fancy.
That's a European thing.
Gelato.
That's like $10 more.
I don't even like going into the store.
Fucking commie bastards.
I was slightly-
Fucking Mussolini.
Let me get a chocolate.
I was slightly off.
Fucking grease balls.
Keep your eyes off my wife, will you?
I keep my wallet in my hand at all times.
Fucking pickpocket you, Nicky.
I fucking trust them as far as I can throw them.
It uses cream and milk, but less cream and more milk than ice cream.
Really?
Yes.
Huh.
It's much creamier and flavorful than ice cream, I think.
Sure.
It's awesome.
Gelato's great.
Sure.
So you're in there.
We're in there.
Nice joint.
We're in there, and we go in, and they're known.
It is a little hoity-toity.
It ain't like a chocolate vanilla fucking joint.
It's not that.
It's not the basics with like, hey, we got a mint chocolate chip and a Rocky
Road.
Honey and rose petal.
Honey and rose, hibiscus, and this.
Fucking fig and olive.
And it's just not my cup of tea.
The bird loves it.
Did you get something?
No, I don't.
You don't?
I've had it.
She goes a lot.
I don't like it.
Huh.
It's kind of her guilty pledge.
Okay.
So we're in there.
There's maybe, there's a couple, one or two people in front of us, right?
You know, and then like one group's together.
It's called two, three people.
Okay.
Then a younger couple, mid-twenties, maybe 30, guy and a gal, don't know how
long they've
been dating.
Early dating vibes, it seemed like.
Okay.
It wasn't like, they weren't super lovey-dovey, and they weren't to the point
where like, they
were still like engaged.
Like, yeah, no, no, yeah, not just like, oh, we're doing a little schmoopy.
A little bit, but like, she wasn't super-
Into it.
Into it.
Either way, that was just my thing.
I don't know.
That doesn't have anything to dive in.
I mean, I whacked off to it later for sure.
Maybe they weren't together at all.
So then me and my wife, I'm not ordering, she's ordering, and then I think like
one or
two other people behind, pretty busy, not busy, but you know, a nice flow of
customers.
Got it.
As the couple, the couple in front of us is getting up to go up, he goes, hey,
listen,
which I do respect, he goes, we're going to get some samples.
He turns around to you and says this.
If you guys want to go in front of us.
Oh, gentlemen.
Nah, it's fine.
In my head, I'm like, all right, what's it going to be, 40 seconds?
You know what I mean?
Like, it's fine.
I'm in no rush.
I'm hanging.
Were you going to get samples?
Maybe the bird was going to try one.
They're big on the samples.
They got the things there, and because they changed the flavor so frequently,
and they
are so unique, it's like he's not, I get that he's not asking for vanilla or
whatever.
I'm like, let me taste the vanilla.
Were you going to get a sample?
I wasn't getting a sample.
You're not going to touch nothing.
No, I was.
You're in a gelato place.
Your wife's getting something.
You're not going to get a little cup.
I already had my dessert.
Which was?
Heaters.
But this bothers me a little more than anything else you're about to tell me.
Yeah, because you don't like me, but what is it?
You don't get nothing?
I don't like ice cream.
That's not my.
It's what?
You're there, because then she gets to have a bite of yours.
It's not all about you, Kevin.
What is it?
What?
No.
Listen, I would rather spend those calories having beers.
I'd rather have a cocktail after dinner.
Did you get the number of the kid in front of you?
Maybe we're going to have him in here.
I hang out with him.
Sure.
You're going to be kidding me.
Fucking bother him all day.
Here's a sample at least.
Try something.
That's even trashier to get a sample and not eat it.
I've had it.
I just don't eat ice cream every fucking three days.
Okay.
That's normal.
But this seems like it could have been a nice little treat.
You know what the treat was?
Fucking beers and heaters after the ice cream.
I bet you for her, it's a nice treat if you get it, too.
You can try hers.
She can try yours.
Okay.
But go ahead.
No, because now you're not on my.
I'm on your side.
No, you're not.
Yes, I am.
You already invited the guy I don't like to come to the show.
You don't like him.
Well, how.
What is the.
My question.
Tell me what happened.
What is the acceptable amount of flavor testing?
I mean, I don't know.
At a place like that.
Listen.
Where we come from.
But there's people behind you.
And I will give you that he did offer.
But there's at least.
When we started, another one or two people behind.
There's a line.
Where we come from.
No eye contact and give me whatever's cheapest.
One or two, you know.
I mean, what are you doing?
One or two.
I feel like three max.
Three max.
Three max.
Three max.
That's pretty good.
Because it's not like.
I mean, when you.
You have an idea of what you're.
You want.
Kind of going to do.
You got to be in the.
What are you in the mood for?
You got to be between two or three.
I'll give you three.
Something vanilla.
Eat chocolatey.
Something fruity.
Something.
You know.
You have.
I don't know.
What people are assholes.
Seven.
The number was seven.
Each?
No.
Together.
No.
He had seven.
I think she had one.
I was not concentrating on her at all.
Now, was he going around with the questions?
Well, what's that?
He would do one at a time.
I don't think so.
Oh, you don't think so.
Next one.
First of all.
Then he was going.
Maybe.
Maybe that.
Well, like he was put in another pile.
Man, well, let's table that and come back to it.
What are you fucking.
And I had about five IPAs in me, so I was a little angry.
Who's this guy?
Lenny Briscoe?
What the fuck are you doing, man?
I know.
That's crazy.
I