Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Sam Morril Returns!
Uploaded: 2023-10-01T23:00:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Sam Morril Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Sam Morril Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-10-01. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Sam Morril Returns!

Gang, the Stay Trashy Tour is coming to a city near you.
Stand-up comedy, plus we play a little AYG with the crowd.
Shows are selling out and you can get your tickets at RUGarbage.com.
See you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out
if they're
good to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition.
She was just out front watching the school buses go by with the kids in it,
throwing eggs
at it.
Nice.
Good for her.
They did, but they did something to piss her off.
Okay.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman, but always the king of the boardwalk, baby.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
What's up, gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are...
True to Roof.
Cooking.
And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage,
gang.
Check it out.
It's a freaking party over there.
Yeah, it is.
Having a nice quick shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic man,
makes us all
look good.
Works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours.
He crosses the T's and he dots the I's.
Giving up for T-Bone McScruffins.
Toby McMullen, everybody.
What up, boys?
What up, T-Bone?
How about that?
Dude, we got the low-key drinkingest dude in the studio today, man.
Got the fucking kid in here.
What do you mean?
Former employer of mine.
I would not ask him for a reference.
Guy likes the sauce.
He made his own hooch.
I'll tell you, I'm hurting bad.
But it would have been the most garbage thing ever to cancel, so here the fuck
I am.
If you want to cancel for a hangover, that's, buddy, I wanted to cancel for a
hangover.
We had a guy cancel on our podcast recently with a tummy ache.
Whoa.
Use the word tummy ache?
He said, I have a tummy ache.
I was like, what are you, a four-year-old who ate too much taffy?
Yeah.
What the hell is a tummy ache?
Get into the fiddle faddle.
A tummy, yeah.
That's not good.
It was rough.
That's very childish, yeah.
Yeah, no, I was hurting because, of course, our friend Joe DeRosa, if I see him,
I know
I'm fucked.
It's like you just know the dude.
Here's his game, how he gets you.
I haven't seen you in a while, and you're like, all right, let's catch up
because I do
love him.
And then he's like, shot, you're playing, he goes, you're playing MSG Theater
November
4th, we got to do a shot.
What a pro plug, by the way.
Good plug.
Holy shit.
New York City.
Man, I thought I was good.
No way DeRosa said the date.
No times at 7.30 and 9.
Oh, I ain't doing two.
But he goes, you're playing MSG, we got to do a shot.
And I'm like, oh, so now I'm a dick.
He's like, the toast is for you.
You have to do the shot with us.
Oh, man.
So it's him and Steve Byrne and another guy who I don't know, but he's a comedy
adjacent.
So we're doing the shot.
And I'm like, I fucking, so I'm like, really, I'm already pretty drunk, and I
have to wake
up early.
And he goes, all right, fine, three whiskey shots here, and let's get a Nancy
Boy here a
water.
And I'm like, you're pulling those.
And they're doing the pussy, pussy.
They're all shouting pussy.
I'm like, you're 46.
You've got to stop doing this.
Also, he was like, nobody calls me a pussy.
Clearly did the shot.
I thought I was too old for peer pressure.
That's the first shot I did with him.
The next round, it just turns into like, you're already drunk.
And he's like, oh, fuck you, dude.
Fuck you.
He used to throw a birthday party every year on a Monday night, because he's a
comic show
coming if it's Monday.
You try to leave the thing at midnight, 2 a.m., you get cursed out.
As I'm walking out, fuck you, you piece of shit.
I remember a birthday he had.
Thanks for coming.
Happy birthday, pal.
I remember he had a birthday one year at the original stand.
We were just sitting outside the club, and he's sitting in a chair, and he just
starts
projectile vomiting.
Saying don't leave yet.
This is the only way you can leave him.
But then you can't leave a guy who's puking, so you're just watching.
I'm just watching Joe puking.
Going to get a pizza or something?
Terrible.
Terrible.
No, I was hurting.
Gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly special guest back
with us again
today.
He is one of the best and brightest stand-up comedians working today.
And as he said, he is going to be at the theater at Madison Square Garden
November 4th.
Can't wait.
Do yourself a fucking favor.
Give it up for Sam Morelli.
Let's go.
Hey, pal.
All over the road, baby.
One of the best out there.
Guys working.
I love you guys.
You guys are fucking hilarious.
It's a goddamn killer.
You guys are on the road like crazy.
We're still moving around a little bit.
We're moving around.
Summer or summer.
The fall and winter tour is hectic, but good.
Busy's good.
Busy's good.
It's good.
It's good, but I'm fucking, I'm feeling it, dude.
I mean, every Instagram post of yours is 18 more cities.
It's crazy.
It's hard to, I mean, you see what happens and it's just like.
He's in the Ukraine next week.
Kiv Funny Bone.
I'll be there.
Kiv Funny Bone.
The Late Show could use a couple.
I'll be, man, it's.
He really blew the roof off that place.
I was thinking, you think in Ukraine, people, they're like, someone's like, are
people still
dating there?
I was like, what did they say?
Meet me at where this coffee shop used to be.
Meet me for a walk through the rubble, huh?
Yeah, man.
Shit.
No, I'm out there.
You kind of have to be.
Of course.
Because I don't know when this shit's going to go away.
You don't know when it's all going to stop.
So you got to do everything you can.
I said that to someone the other night.
I was like, yeah, I don't know when it's going to go away.
He's like, oh, it'll go away.
I was like, you don't have to be that fucking.
You don't have to be that sure that it's going to go away.
I'm saying it like half fake.
Yeah.
I'm like, I was going to keep rolling.
He's like, no.
Yeah, trying to be humble.
Yeah.
It'll go away.
No, Sinatra fell off.
You think we're fucking going to stay?
The Beatles, baby.
No, of course.
Sinatra hit a low.
We're fucked.
It's over.
It's done.
I got to start singing.
I did want to ask you about that with your travel and all that stuff.
I did come across on Instagram, I think one of your stories.
I see you have gotten to the point of success now where you're traveling with
the puppy dog with you.
Well, that was just for a gig.
You're traveling with the pooch.
Oh, it was?
And that's the girl I'm dating's dog.
That's not even my dog.
I was very happy to see that.
I love that dog.
16-year-old one-eyed pug.
Yeah.
Dude, I'll tell you the sad shit.
We were at the vet the other day, which is like, I fucking have so much respect
for vets.
They're like, you know, because they got into it because they actually love
animals.
Sure.
Doctors don't.
They're not doctors because they like people.
Yeah.
You know?
They're learning for the check.
For the check.
Yeah.
But it's like the funniest job to me because you have to come in and deliver
horrible news
with the funniest names ever.
Oh, yeah.
Like, we found a malignant tumor in waffles.
You know?
Snuffleupagus.
The cancer has spread.
It's always so big because I didn't realize, too.
My wife pointed out to me that she's like, I hate going.
I'm like, why?
She's like, because in the waiting room, I almost called it a green room.
In the waiting room, you're sitting there with people on their worst day of
their decade.
They're like ready to put their cat down or whatever.
And I'm sitting there like, who's your good boy?
Like, I'm getting a checkup.
And I'm like, who's your good boy?
You know?
Finish the fiddle, this one, huh?
Yeah.
Meanwhile, there are people crying.
I'm like, oh, fuck.
This is tough.
Well, the funniest part is we're there and she's got two dogs.
One of them's a bigger black pug.
And they put the thermometer, you know, the rectal thermometer up the ass.
And she's like, ah, ah, just screaming.
You're like, oh, my God, that must suck.
Then they put it in this tiny little pug.
So you're talking about your girlfriend.
Oh, she doesn't scream.
No, I'm not.
I don't have that effect.
No.
But she, then they put it in the tiny pug's ass.
Not a peep.
Just like this pug lived in the street before.
It's dark shit.
He's like, did you start yet?
Hey, doc, I don't have all day.
Can't do anything to me that LA hasn't already done.
Fire away, doc.
That's a good man, though.
You go to the vet with the lady?
I did, because the dog's so old.
They're your dogs now.
No, I mean, it's her dogs.
I know.
But I love that dog.
I fucking love that dog.
You're in.
I mean, I hated her at first, and then they just win you over.
They do.
Dogs are just incredible.
Just positive energy at all times.
They're just, this dog's kind of a cunt.
Okay.
She's kind of rude.
She's like, but you know, it's.
Never picks up a check.
And the Venmo request.
It's like, come on.
But she's just adorable.
I guess, like, yeah, she won me over.
What can I say?
That's funny, man.
Nice.
Yeah, I saw that.
I was like, oh, Sammy traveling with the puppy dog.
Were you on your way to a gig, though?
No, I was doing.
She has a place in Texas, and I did a couple podcasts in Austin.
I did Tom Segura.
Yeah.
Very nice.
Shout out to YMH.
Yeah, so fun.
Yeah, it's a blast.
One thing, too, the travel for you has upgraded.
The tour bus.
You got a tour bus.
We watch.
Foley would love it, because we're watching movies, you know?
That's the thing is, like, you're dating a girl.
She's like, are you fucking someone on the road?
I'm like, we're literally drinking red wine and watching Fargo on the tour bus.
This is, like, the lamest.
Uh-huh.
You think we're living hard, and we're, like, the fucking corniest.
I know.
It's not like we're poison or something, you know what I mean?
They were so mad at me on the bus, because I chose, you know, we're on the road
all the
time, so you don't get to see any of the Oscar movies.
So I was like, let's watch Tar, the worst tour bus movie ever.
It's like a slow burn about Me Too, and I'm like, I'm sorry, guys.
I fucked up.
Hey, Gary, I apologize.
He would have rather Me Too than watch that movie.
No, but then we usually watch good shit.
Like, dude, you know what we watch in there?
This old movie Fritz Lang made it from the 50s.
It's called The Big Heat.
It's just, like, the coolest old cop movie.
It's just an unhinged cop whose wife gets murdered, and he's just, like, got
nothing to lose.
And he's just, it's when you're like, is this going to be another Tar?
I'm like, I've seen this one.
You're in good fucking hands.
No more Tar.
Is this the situation as of right now on the tour?
You're on the bus?
No.
It's so expensive that I only do it for, you know.
It's got to make sense.
Like, I got to be there the next night, and the next night, and the next night.
And then you got to travel overnight, which is like teleportation.
I mean, Sammy, that's fucking, that's big time.
It's awesome.
I fucking love to hear that.
If it makes sense.
So we did it on three stretches.
We did, like, a, you know, dude, I fucking love the bus because you just wake
up in the city.
It's like, we did it with Bert, and it was like, we went to bed in Vegas.
We leave at, like, two or three in the morning, wheels up on the bus.
You hang out, a couple beers.
Go to sleep.
You wake up, you're, it's like you teleported.
We time it so you leave, like, when we're trying to sleep because it rocks you
to