Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Ralph Barbosa!
Uploaded: 2023-11-01T23:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Ralph Barbosa!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-01. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Ralph Barbosa!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2023-11-01. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Ralph Barbosa!

Gang, that Stay Trashy Tour is coming into the home stretch, baby.
Grab some tickets to come out and see the boys.
A little stand-up comedy.
Plus, we play a little AYG with the crowd.
It's a good, good time.
Yeah, in November, we're coming to Pontiac, Michigan.
Then four shows in Chicago, Illinois.
Limited tickets remaining for them.
Get those, baby.
Then we're hitting Minneapolis, Madison, Milwaukee, Sacramento, San Francisco,
San Jose, Washington, D.C.
Then we're editing it in Philadelphia.
Two huge shows at the Fillmore.
Get those tickets.
That's going to sell out.
We love yous, gang.
Welcome to another exciting edition of R.U. Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's new favorite podcast.
This is R.U. Garbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find
that it's good to be classy.
Or just a big old piece of trash.
Garbage.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition.
Just saw her knock down a half a bottle of NyQuil.
Okay.
So dinner's going to be a little late tonight, boys.
All right.
All right.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me, really sticking to me with
the Tootie's.
No, no, no, no, no.
Don't fucking...
He's been working on it for two weeks.
Don't put that on me.
He is the CEO of R.U. Garbage.
He is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide
world.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube, as you know those numbers are...
True to Roof.
...cooking, baby.
And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RUGarbageGang.
Yes, sir.
It's a goddamn party over there.
Yes, sir.
And how about a nice quick shout-out to our producer extraordinaire, the magic
man, makes
us all look good, works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours.
He crosses the T's, and he dots the I's.
Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins.
Toby McMullen, everybody.
What up, boys?
What up, T-Bone?
Hey, pal.
Yo, this guy we got in here, get him to a roulette table.
The kid's got a hot hair.
Come on.
Kid's on a heater of a heater this year.
Forging up the earth.
Gang, the long hair ain't lying, because we couldn't be more excited to have
our incredibly,
and I mean incredibly, special guest here with us today for the first time.
He is a very funny stand-up comedian who is on a meteoric rise right now.
You've seen him just about everywhere.
You've seen him on a Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon.
He's on tour right now, and he has a brand new Netflix special out right now
called Cowabunga.
Give it up for Ralph Barbosa, everybody.
There he is.
What's up, dude?
The fucking kid's in town.
You guys have such great podcast voices.
You talk real fast.
I know.
This guy was throwing out the website, like, www.com.
I was like, oh, shit.
Hit him with the weather and the traffic real quick.
Keep it moving, baby.
Buddy, thanks for coming in.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
Thanks for having me.
You're fucking blowing up, man.
I do all right.
That's all right.
Give us the back story.
Where'd you grow up?
Tell us the whole deal.
Texas, right?
Texas.
I grew up in Dallas, Texas.
Well, actually, a suburb of Dallas called Mesquite, Texas.
Okay.
Yeah.
I was like one block away from the Dallas city limit.
So, growing up, I wasn't even, like, allowed to claim Dallas by actual Dallas
residents.
Now, they claim me.
Now, they're like, you know who's from here.
They get the hot hands.
Like, yo, Ralph.
We always loved Ralph.
But now, I'm like, no, no, no.
I'm from the unrespectable Mesquite.
Putting up the street name in downtown Dallas.
Yeah.
I hear Staten Island.
I hear New York.
It's a lot of crap.
And I feel like Mesquite is kind of like the Staten Island of where I'm from.
Yeah.
Staten Island catches a lot of shit from everybody else.
Yeah.
So, yeah.
That's where I'm from out in Dallas, Mesquite, whatever.
Classic suburban upbringing.
Yeah.
It's the kind of place where, like, all my Hispanic relatives who, like, lived
in the hood didn't respect me.
They're like, nah, bro, you live in a good neighborhood.
But then, like, all the people that I went to school with that lived in, like,
real suburbs, like, if I told a white guy I was from Mesquite, they're just
like, ew.
God damn, you're from the hood.
Yeah, there's no winning, man.
Stuck in purgatory.
What was, you grew up with your mom, dad, brother, sisters?
What was the?
I actually grew up with my grandparents.
Okay.
Yeah.
You know, it's wild, man, because, like, when parents get divorced, they always
tell the kid, like, yo, it's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
But I don't know, like, my.
I feel like it might have been my fault.
Yeah, my dad left me with my mom.
My mom left me with my grandparents.
And eventually, my grandpa left me with my grandma.
Like.
Damn.
I'm the common denominator here.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
Trying to get the fuck away from you.
Kids are bad seed.
So me and my grandma, we're real close, you know.
Yeah, yeah, for now.
Yeah.
Yeah, who knows what happens.
Any brothers or sisters?
Yeah, I got, like, a ton of half-siblings, man.
I don't call them my half-siblings, not to their face.
Just in public on public.
I don't know this, dude.
Just on podcast.
Yeah.
So I got a sister in Mexico that my dad had with a Mexican lady.
And then I have my teenage brother and sister who I currently live with.
Now I live with my dad.
Okay.
So, like, my dad, my stepmom.
Actually, they just had another baby.
So I got, like, a tiny baby sister.
And then on my mom's side, my mom has one other daughter.
She's a preteen.
How old are you now?
I turned 27.
Today, actually.
No shit.
I wanted to spend it with you guys.
Thank you, buddy.
Happy birthday.
We didn't get you anything, but.
That's all right.
Take anything you want out of the studio.
I'm going to take that peanut butter jar back there.
He's already got his eyes on it.
This motherfucker's got peanut butter?
God damn.
This guy's got his own peanut butter.
Okay, so there's a 27-year age difference between you and your youngest sibling.
Mm-hmm.
Damn.
Where does your mom and dad go?
So you said your dad left you with your mom.
Did he stay in town, or they just got a divorce, or did he dip?
Nah, they were never married.
But they were living together at a certain point.
They were.
They had me as, like, teenagers.
Okay.
And they were living together, and then they split up.
And then when I was maybe, like, five, my dad was on probation, and he, like,
for reasons
I won't get into.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Don't.
Fair enough.
He, like, beat the shit out some guy, and he thought he was going to go to jail,
so he
just, like, took off.
Damn.
And then he came back.
He got, like, a lawyer, and he only did, like, two weeks in jail.
So it wasn't your fault?
Yeah, nah.
That guy had it coming.
Some guy running his mouth.
But nah, my mom, my mom was just, like, just young, like, wild.
She was just out there, like, doing her thing, you know?
Yeah, teenager, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
And so, yeah, she just, I don't know, was out there.
I don't know where she went.
I never really asked.
Damn.
But sometimes she would come live with us.
We lived, because I always, I always stayed with my grandma.
They were always in Mesquite, your grandparents.
Mm-hmm.
Okay.
Gotcha.
Yeah.
And so, no matter what, though, I always stayed with my grandma.
And sometimes my mom would come live with us, and I would be like,
look who comes running back to us.
It ain't so great out there, huh, is it, Mom?
Even when I was, like, 23, and she would still, like, come live with us.
Like, she, like, stayed with us at that point.
I always reminded her, like, me and grandma, like, you stay with us.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This ain't your house.
You guys, yeah.
We're waiting for you to get back on your feet.
Did she have a room when she would come home, or was she on the couch or the
basement?
Nah, she had a room.
She always had a room.
Yeah.
Okay.
Huh.
And what'd your grandma do for a living growing up?
Was she working?
Nah.
Nah.
My uncle made my grandma, like, retire when he was, like, 15 or 16.
He used to sell drugs.
Damn.
Okay.
Yeah.
Okay.
So it's...
This is shaping up.
Welcome to the show, gang.
I think we've made our decision on...
Throws it in the best approach from your 15-year-old uncle makes his grandma,
or makes your mom retire.
Goddamn.
Must have been doing good.
So that was what was funding the lifestyle?
Yeah.
So back then, that street that we lived on in Mesquite was, like, I mean, that
area was, like, pretty nice.
Now it's, like, kind of going downhill, but we were, like, the first, like,
people of color to move into that block.
And then, I don't know, I think, actually, my neighbor from across the street
was the first person of color.
But, yeah, other than that, it was, like, an all-white neighborhood.
My uncle, as a teenager, was making, like, really good money, and he got my...
When my mom was pregnant, he convinced, like, my mom, their mom, my grandma, my
grandpa, and everybody to, like, let him find a realtor and, like, move them
out.
Oh, damn.
Yeah, they were living, like, on the east part of Dallas.
Okay.
And it was, like, really, really bad there.
It was, like, really dangerous.
And, yeah, he got them to move, like, two days before I was born.
And, like, I'm telling you, that area was, like, pretty nice at that time.
And, yeah, he, when he, by, I think by the time he got them to move, he was
already, like, 18.
But when he was, like, 15 or 16, my grandma was working, like, at a restaurant
or something, and he just was, like, nah, you shouldn't work anymore.
Damn.
Damn.
15, 16.
Making fucking moves.
Yeah, that's all right.
Setting up a 401k.
I can't even do that now, and I'm pushing 40.
Jesus Christ.
Even if I could, I would never.
You can come stay with me until you get on your feet, but that's about it.
I will charge you rent.
Damn.
And you're still living with your grandmom now?
No, actually, I live with my dad now.
For the first time ever, I've been living with my dad.
I've been there, like, a year now.
Okay.
Yeah, we moved out to this little, well, my dad always, he lived out there for
way longer than I did, but we moved out to a little land, like, an hour south
of Dallas.
Damn, so you're out there.
Out in the country.
That's why I got this Bass Pro Shop shirt.
I still haven't gone fishing, but I'm gonna.
Give me some bait, and I'll be out there.
Flexing the gear.
What's your pop do now?
He, like, remodels houses and does a lot of, like, construction-type work for,
like, contractor-type jobs.
Gotcha.
Okay.
So, growing up at your grandmoms, what was school like?
Oh, easy.
I was very spoiled, too.
Really?
Yeah.
My grandma, you know, she had, like, free time, and she would, like, spoil me.
I remember when, like, Spider-Man 2 or 3 came out, I convinced her to, like,
take me out of school early so I could go watch it during the day.
Yeah, my grandma was the best, and school was pretty easy.
I used to think, I mean, I still kind of do think that I was very lucky to go
to, like, a pretty diverse school.
I feel like we had a little bit of everybody.
Uh-huh.
But then I came to, like, New York, and, like, this is real diversity.
Yeah, this, yeah.
My school was just, like, black, white, Mexican.
Like, here is, like, Yugoslavian.
Yeah, there's a little flavor from everywhere.
Yeah.
Yugoslavian.
I've never met no Yugoslavians.
Huh.
Okay.
And what was the high school mascot growing up?
A stallion.
That's pretty good.
Pretty Texas.
That's a real Texas fucking mascot.
Good football team?
No.
Really?
We had the, out of all the Mesquite high schools, I think we had the coolest,
like, mascot.
Like, we were the stall