Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Sketchy Roller Coasters w/ Kippy & Foley
Uploaded: 2024-04-21T23:00:19.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Sketchy Roller Coasters w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Sketchy Roller Coasters w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-04-21. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Sketchy Roller Coasters w/ Kippy & Foley

Gang, the Through the Roof Tour is rolling through the Northeast, baby.
We're coming to Norwalk, Connecticut,
and we added a second show with the Wilbur Theater up there in Boston,
Massachusetts.
Everybody pack the car and come to the show.
Yeah.
All tickets are available at RUGarbage.com.
The live shows are a mix of stand-up and AYG.
You know it's a good time.
Get the army of garbage and let's go.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage,
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians,
and we find that they're good to be classy.
Yeah.
Or they're just a big old piece of trash.
Garbage.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition.
Just heard the ambulance going away.
Oh, no.
Knocked somebody out.
She did.
She's playing a knockout game?
Got a right hook.
Pay it out right now.
I'll do it.
You ever see her?
No.
Woo.
Hands like lightning.
Breath like a dragon.
Mike Coe is coming at you from across the table.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman.
And let me tell you kids out there something.
Next time you're looking for a best pal, do yourself a favor.
You make it a kippy.
Hey, what's up, gang?
Thanks.
Tastes like cigarettes.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are 200K.
Cooking, baby.
Right there.
Right there.
Right in a sweet spot.
Obviously, I don't know about you guys, but it's my favorite website of all
time.
www.patreon.com.
I enjoy the programming.
You go over there.
You get bonus episodes of AYG weekly.
You can get bonus episodes of Hard Feelings weekly.
You get all the other videos we've done, which has to be about, I don't know,
50 videos or
something like that.
There's a lot going on over there.
Yeah, it's fantastic.
Check it out, gang.
And the island videos are about to go up, though.
Yes, sir.
Good, good time.
How about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire.
The magic man makes us all look good.
Works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours.
Crosses T's and he dots I's.
T-bone, McScruffins.
Toby, the big dong, McMullen, everybody.
What up, boys?
What up, pal?
BD.
In the heart of spring, it's nice out there.
Give me a sweet tea, a rocking chair on a front porch.
I'm ready to talk some trash.
Hey.
A couple of racist remarks.
You know who's having a baby out of wedlock?
What?
You ain't heard that from me, though.
I'll tell you that right now.
That was tea back then.
You find out there was a bastard child on the way.
Somebody got knocked up.
That was nuts.
You used to be able to send the lady away when she got knocked up
and go have the baby somewhere else.
Keep the pride of the family up.
I know.
That's crazy.
That was always such a weird two or three of them.
Also, I think back in the day, people would just take that at face value.
If you were like, what happened to your sister, Megan, today?
They'd be like, oh, we're not sure.
The news would be called.
No, you don't send the sister.
You don't send the lady who's having it.
You send the baby away.
No, because then they see that she's pregnant.
You hide her for a little bit.
That's what they did.
They would send the baby away.
No, they would send the woman away, too, to go have a baby at the cousin's
house or something.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
And then she shows up.
Hey, what's going on?
I was in rehab.
Yeah, exactly.
I was learning how to read me good.
Or they'd send you to the convent.
To the nunnery.
Yeah, to the nunnery.
Knocked up in a nunnery.
The nunnery.
Is that your dirty videos?
That's how they all started?
Yeah.
We had a couple of those.
What?
It all worked out?
In the family?
I don't want to get specific here.
I don't think we ever had any children out of wedlock in the family.
Ruin all that hard work, sending them away and hiding the paperwork instead of
this shit.
They ain't got the gayest money.
Send them to Italy for a couple of weeks.
I don't think we ever had any Irish Catholic, everybody got married for, I
think that would
have, you know, no, there was no hanky-panky.
A lot of good amount of divorces, though.
Any shotgun weddings?
Maybe in my mom's generation, like my aunts, but I don't think so.
I mean, I don't think so, no.
I mean, she comes from like 50 kids.
They were boning.
Sure.
But they all got married young.
Like, they all got married at like 21.
You know what I mean?
So there was no like, I don't think there was any.
You marry your high school sweetheart.
Yeah.
You get married at the Union Hall or whatever it is.
We didn't have Union Hall.
They were doing it in row homes in Kensington.
Sure.
Realize all that you had in common was the shared experience of high school and
then stick it
out for 50 years.
You make it work.
That's what you do.
You shovel it all down.
Because you know in the end she's going to be there for you.
That's why you do it.
It ain't all romance in canoes.
I thought you fucking kids had something.
Okay.
Where's that Hennessy in?
Fuck it.
You two get the hell out of here.
Big man is on one.
Go clean your rooms, all right?
Only guy I know who drinks eggnog in May.
I don't know if I ever told you that.
My mom took a...
Lover.
No, like lady classes.
Etiquette.
Etiquette classes.
They offered them somewhere like at the White.
They tried to teach her to stop spitting in doors.
Stop doing chew.
Kenzo garbage.
Stop fighting every guy, you see.
No, she wasn't.
There were a couple lady bruisers for sure in the fam.
Sure.
That would tune you up too sweet.
I can't imagine.
Also, every dude out of...
There was five brothers.
Man, they were...
They would just go...
They were fighting.
They'd just go, oh, we're going to go fight, you know?
I feel like those guys, when I've been punched by them in my time, and I have,
but punched
by a lot of them.
You get spackle on your forehead.
Their hands are harder.
Yeah.
Their hands are bigger and harder.
They're coming at you quicker and with more precision.
Like, when you get hit by, like, one of these type of guys, like, the guy with,
like, the
hard hands.
They're called goon mitts.
Yeah.
And you deserved it, because you were popping off with the mouth.
You were grabbing at his lady.
At the Kenrick Fair, or whatever they were called.
Sure.
Bazaars.
You go to bazaars?
No.
They're like, you know, when the church puts on a bazaar, they have some rides.
No.
It's a racket.
They're doing gambling.
Yeah, they're bumping numbers.
That's what they're doing.
They're doing gambling and selling pierogies.
No, our church never did that, I don't think.
Oh, man.
They were the best in the 80s.
I'd go with my Aunt Mary Catherine and Uncle Red.
I've told you.
You had an Uncle Red?
Yeah.
Edward Flaherty.
Shout out to him.
Red hair?
Red hair.
Tall red hair.
Also ran by the name of Edge.
Edge.
I've told you before.
To the guitarist and you too?
Okay.
They would take me on a Saturday night.
Just me.
Maybe once in a while with my brother.
But I'd go.
Man, they had a whole squad.
I've told you this before.
I don't remember.
I don't really listen when you speak.
And they were tight with the priest and, you know, it was nice.
The sweet smell of funnel cake in the air.
A little whiskey.
We had a fair at Clinger.
Clinger was a local junior high.
And they had a fair.
Well, obviously, the Pennsylvania State Fair.
Clinger.
Clinger.
Clinger.
You go into Clinger.
They would do fireworks on like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Man.
Somebody had something in the summer.
Going to Clinger by yourself was a big.
That was, yeah.
That was like, we're going to.
Everyone's going to get.
You entered that with.
They dropped you off?
Highest hopes.
There's going to be broads.
I got 20 bucks in my pocket.
Get some funnel cake.
Maybe hit the Gravitron.
Show my moves off.
You were probably scared to death of those rides.
No, at that point, I was a little rambunctious as a kid.
Were you?
Not until I got older and I started getting injured that I really toned it down.
You're on the Gravitron with your arms crossed so your titties don't bounce.
They're up in my face.
My little prepubescent boobs have slid up into my eyes.
A couple of running eggs over there, eh, boy?
I was petrified of the salt and pepper machine.
The thing that looks like.
Oh, you're in a cage that that spins?
Yeah.
Yeah.
That.
I always thought I was.
I always had crippling anxiety at those things.
I thought I was going to die.
I was going to be the kid that died at the fair.
I go through life thinking that I'm going to be the guy that died doing
whatever.
That's always, I'm like, that's it.
That guy wearing the jean jacket?
No.
He had it coming.
No, but that was big.
I was more afraid of, because I was at a specific age where the technology and
manufacturing had increased, right?
So there was rides that were pre, that were like wrought iron type shit.
You know what I mean?
Versus chrome or versus stainless, you know what I mean?
Like, you'd get on a ride, you're like, oh, you could tell the new versus the
old rides.
It feels safe.
There was a little more hydraulics involved.
Yes.
A little more cables.
You feel real safe with a little hydraulics.
Yes.
A little, some polished chrome on the outside.
Not just like chicken wire and fucking zip ties.
See a guy wearing an izod, you're like, okay, polo shirt.
So that was a big thing for me.
So like some of the tilt the world I was on the fence about, but you know.
The craziest ones are the swings that go around in a circle.
Love those.
I know, but they're so high.
Did you ever see them give out?
It's just chain.
When they give out, it's.
Yeah, you go flying.
Well, that whole hydraulic thing drops.
No, no.
I'm talking about the swings.
I understand, but I'm saying when that goes, like there's videos.
Oh, when that comes down.
Of that just.
Oh, man.
Falling and everybody turning to fucking.
I'd be more scared getting slinged out.
Talking to a kippy patty.
Because the chain is.
Medium rare.
The chain is real thin.
It's like a dog's chain.
No, it's a sturdy chain.
Yeah, chains.
I think the integrity of chains are, is pretty well documented.
Is it?
Yeah.
Chains?
I don't trust chains.
Chains are strong.
Nah, I like cable.
Good cable.
Good, nice, solid cable.
Yeah, I like cable.
Uh-huh.
Now, I get it.
Less people bite it yearly at amusement parks and carnivals than you would
think.
Yeah.
Die?
Yeah.
Oh, let's do an over under.
A year in, is this the United States?
I believe so, yes.
Ooh, I'm going to say.
This is carnivals and amusement parks combined.
I'm going to say.
Do you have this number already?
Yes.
Ooh, T-Bone.
I'm going to say under 365.
Less than one a day die at amusement parks or fair.
If one person a day died, that's so many.
That's what I'm saying.
So, I'm going under.
I'm saying I'm going under that.
Dude, the waivers you would have to sign at Six Flags.
I say it under, so my bet's right.
Less than 100 people.
Yeah.
Yeah, still very high.
Four and a half.
Four and a half?
Yeah.
That's nothing.
I'm saying.
What happened to that half a guy?
The top half's still kicking.
I would say the bottom half made it.
Yikes.
Four and a half people die a year at amusement parks and fairs in America.
That's nothing.
That's it?
Yeah.
How many are maimed?
Do you have that number?
What's the maim report?
It does say the number of energies are shockingly high.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The injuries, the injury math ain't great.
That's what'll get you.
You are.
That's true, and maimings also get put into the injury category, so it's like
splinters
waiting in line and legs ripped off.
It's like a DA juicing the numbers, you know what I mean?
Yeah, leg ripped off is an injury.
Yeah.
There should be a separate categ