Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Big Buffalo Chicken Guys w/ Kippy & Foley
Uploaded: 2024-05-05T23:00:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Big Buffalo Chicken Guys w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Big Buffalo Chicken Guys w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-05. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Big Buffalo Chicken Guys w/ Kippy & Foley

Oh my God, get a look at this place. Who let us in the front door?
Hachi Machi, the army of garbage invades town hall in New York City.
Gang, we're going to be there this week, Thursday, May 9th at 7 o'clock for a
little stand-up comedy.
And then we're going to play a little AYG with the crowd in one of the most
iconic, most beautiful theaters in the city.
Ooh wee, don't steal nothing. No smoking, no public urination. All tickets
available at RUGarbage.com.
See you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RUGarbage.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out
they're good to be classy.
Or they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful spring day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She's in the backyard getting the grass cut, planting her tomatoes, plus a
couple other crops, if you know what I mean.
It's going to be a sticky fall, boys.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table.
Here's what we call a family episode here at RUGarbage.
Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies.
He's the CEO of RUGarbage.
He's an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide world.
Let me tell you something.
Next time you're reaching for a best pal, do yourself a favor.
Make it a kippy.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Hey, what up, gang?
How you doing, pal?
Hey, buddy.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
All video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are...
Trudder up.
Cooking.
Cooking.
And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RUGarbage.
You go over there, you get up to three bajillion hours worth of content, up to
and including
the first video from the Ireland trip.
Go check it out.
Oh, there we go.
How you doing up there?
You got us landing.
You got the Dublin.
You got the Guinness.
Back in the old country.
The Guinness factory, the whole nine yards.
Check it to freak out.
Then also, this week, coming up, if you're listening to this the week, it comes
out Thursday,
May 9th.
The boys are going to be at Town Frickin' Hall, New York City, New York.
I'm talking Staten Island.
I'm talking North Jersey.
I'm talking Connecticut, Pennsylvania, the Poconos, wherever the fuck you are.
Let's get there and party.
A little taste of the High Life, baby.
In the big theater.
Huh?
Yeah.
Charlie Chaplin.
A couple other guys.
Hank Aaron.
He went to his only show there.
It was a matinee.
How about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the Magic Band.
Makes us all look good.
Works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours.
He crosses the T's.
He dots the I's.
It's T-Bone McScruff and Stubby McBone, everybody.
What up, boys?
What up, T-Barns?
Dude, loving the fit.
Steamboat Hank, man.
Thanks, pal.
You look like you could pilot a pontoon boat down a narrow alley, boy.
Yeah.
Running for the Narcos.
You're the guy.
I got to keep my mouth shut.
Got a nice condo in Miami.
Uh-huh.
You look like the white guy who gets in with the Narcos, for sure.
100%.
Yeah.
Oh, then there was El Gordo, and it cuts to you.
Best Cessna pilot in the world.
I don't know why they cast me as hot dog vendors and stuff.
I can play computer guy.
I can play CIA, detective, cop.
Nah.
Nothing.
It's just guys in various different classes.
It's just you and glasses for a nerd.
You and aviators for a CIA guy.
Sure, I'll put the tape on him.
Yeah.
Oh, yeah.
What's cooking, boys?
Not much, buddy.
How you feeling?
I'm genuinely elated with this fucking town hall show coming up.
Excited.
It's truly nuts.
You know, over the past week or two, we've been recounting our time here in New
York,
which led us to this magnificent theater, this magnificent show,
and shout out to the motherfucking army of garbage.
We've bombed at every bar and shithole this fucking city has to offer.
And now I'm going to bomb in this gosh darn theater.
And Broadway, right?
Is that on Broadway?
Technically, it's on Broadway.
That's what they say.
Just don't ask them to Google map it.
No.
When you get to Broadway, make a right.
It's right there.
Keep going.
It's right on Broadway.
Right off of Broadway.
Right off of Broadway.
Yeah.
Very excited, man.
Can't wait.
Shout out to all the bozos and the homies that got us here.
We appreciate you, and we love you to death.
Yeah.
Not too shabby.
Not too shabby.
I got a little bit of an update.
You've been getting a lot of rash and a shart for-
Your hair.
No.
Eyebrows.
Okay.
I don't like where this is going.
I think it was in a Patreon episode.
You guys were giving me a rash and a shit for not breaking down my boxes.
Yes.
I've switched.
Good.
And I'm upset about it.
You guys are living in a society here.
No one's doing it.
I'm the only guy doing it.
Now I feel like a bozo.
But I'm, you know, I was getting messages and everything.
I don't understand how big of an area there could be where, I mean, you live in
a big building.
Big building.
I mean, I know how many Amazon boxes I get delivered every day.
Broad spending money like water.
That's a lot of hot dogs.
It's every day.
I got to go upstairs.
I got to break it down.
I take them right out immediately.
I don't want them in the house.
I leave the bigger ones in for a couple minutes because the kitty cat likes to
play in them
a little bit.
Yeah.
She don't care about whatever's in them.
She just likes to get inside and stoop around.
Then we do a fun thing where we close it up.
We're like, oh, we didn't order this.
I had a little kitty cat in there.
Busy day over there, huh?
Jesus.
Got a lot going on.
I just let them pile up.
Well, you learn about the stock market or something.
I just let them pile up and turn my apartment into a, into like a, oh, what's
the thing?
Fort.
No.
Obstacle course.
Jesus.
For you or the cat?
A little of both.
All right.
My time was 33 seconds.
Let's see what you got.
Go.
Beat that pussy.
You get stuck in one.
So you, you switched over.
I switched over.
Uh, you know, uh, I'm, I'm, I was always a very, I listen, I, I come from a
very blue
collar background and that's, uh, that's a, that was no one in the building
does it.
And I, like I've said before, they take it from it, but I, I, I'm changing my
ways.
There's been a handful of times on this program where I have been anti
something.
I was anti cruise for a long time.
I'm pro cruise.
I was, I was anti brushing your teeth in the shower.
Now I'm pro brushing your teeth in the shower.
I was pro breaking your boxes down until we moved to this building.
They don't really do it, but, uh, the external pressures have made me change
and I'm a better
man for it.
Does the piece know Amazon?
Does she get deliveries and stuff?
Can she make my mom?
Yeah.
Can she order stuff on her own?
Uh, sometimes it'll end up in like my place or something, you know what I tell
you?
Which happens to me too.
You get to, you get the, you try to send something to someone else.
Next thing you know, that's the new programmed address.
Cause shout out to Patty Foley.
She's really getting with, uh, modern technology.
She's sending me things.
I got you this thing on Amazon.
It's for your knee.
Had it set up right to the house.
It's crazy.
I remember when she got her first Amazon delivery, she was freaking out.
What?
Someone's going to steal it.
I got to get home.
It's on the front porch.
I'm freaking out.
Thought you had a sign for it and all that kind of stuff.
Yeah.
Packages back in the, getting a package back in the day was a very, uh, what?
Someone knocking on the door?
No, not even that.
Just like, oh, there's freak out.
I bet you guys had bear traps in your front yard.
Visitors alive.
I remember eating one time we were having, it was like, it was, it was like
this time
of year.
It was like the spring.
It was nice out.
We had the screen door, the door, you know, the front door open and the screen
door and
somebody, you know that, that sound that it makes when you knock on a screen
door, it
rattles a rattle.
Oh, we all grabbed a steak knife.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Sorry.
Wrong house.
Wrong house.
It was like the mailman dropping off like a certified letter.
Screen door rattle is bad, but the screen bungee sound, that spring.
Yeah.
Oh, that'll, that'll grind your teeth, man.
You ever pinch your fingers in the thing that holds the screen door open?
Oh, man.
Imagine, remember figuring that out as an eight year old?
You felt like Einstein.
I got it.
I know how to turn it.
Yeah.
You always got a pinky in there or something.
That and every sliding door that was ever been attached to one of the many
homes my
father transient to and from, the sliding doors always were off the-
Oh, the big sliding glass doors?
Like in the-
Like to the patio, to the back.
Oh, yeah.
You'd have to lift up the back and fucking shit.
I learned that.
I learned, that's how I thought all those doors opened for the first 10 years
of my life.
Yeah.
You had to, you know, you're a 10 year old throwing a shoulder into it because
you weren't
tall enough to get the leverage.
Sure.
I remember my dog just scratching that.
I thought I was scratching the screen.
I think back at, we had a couple of bad dogs and man, patches.
Rusty, right?
Rusty.
Rusty was my mom's dog.
Shout out to Beagle.
Saved him from an SPCA.
No big deal.
Heroes.
Dropped him off a week later.
I tried to take him back because he started howling when he got in the car.
My mom was like, I didn't sign up for this.
Thought one of us was a werewolf.
My dad was running a house after the divorce in our town so we could stay at
the same school,
like, you know, which I have respect.
He did everything, you know, they did everything to not to shake up the, our,
our day to day
life.
I wish they would have a little more.
Oh no, they did.
Shaking you up a little bit.
No, trust me.
They did.
What school would you have gone to?
Was there anything on the table?
You're a Council Rock kid?
Council Rock.
Council Rock South.
So it's straight to Harvard from there, right?
Sure.
There or that or Kensington for Percadoodles and Heron.
Abington High School you would have went to?
Nah, there was a time, there was a few moments where my mom wanted to move even
further north
into like Doyles, into like the boonies.
Pensberry?
I think I would have went to see one of the Central Bucks, CBEs, I think, I don't
know.
I got a cousin, a young cousin just graduated from there last year.
I remember being like, it ain't happening.
He's a Penn Stater.
Yeah.
He's a pride of the CB South football team.
Yeah, he's in the state penitentiary.
Three to nine.
He's a good kid.
How dare you?
Big fan of yours.
I know.
I put money in his commissary every month.
Thanks for the noodles, long hair.
You wouldn't have made it out there.
Where?
Out there.
Well, I always, I always.
CB West?
CB East?
I always had the card of.
Those kids would have ate you alive.
I did.
Why?
Pretty boy.
What?
Because they're hard knocking hillbillies out there.
They were country folk where I come from.
I remember when I was in high school.
I was also in the 70s.
It was a little different.
CB West was petrified.
It was half in black and white too.
They were still using real leather on footballs.
What are you talking about?
They were country back in the day.
Those kids would do that.
I remember the first time I saw a kid wearing a flannel, like not Nirvana flannel,
like
this was a functional flannel.
And I remember being, he had work boots, and he was like 15.
I was like 10.
I was like, God damn, this boy's a man.
This boy's got hair on his balls.
Not me.
There I was in my fucking Slipknot and MXPX t-shirt.
Bitching because your pizza's cold.
Get off my chain wallet.
But one of the places my dad was renting.
Man, I would love to go back to 