Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Ali Siddiq Returns!
Uploaded: 2024-05-15T23:00:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Ali Siddiq Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Ali Siddiq Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-15. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Ali Siddiq Returns!

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians,
and we find out if the group to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of
trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition.
She's been working with the local Little League team.
Okay, good for her.
Selling their equipment.
Beautiful sports equipment out in the garage if anybody's looking for some
helmets or whatever you need.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
I kind of got him this week.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman, and he has led us to the promised land.
Did the K-Man do it, or did the K-Man do it?
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube, as you know those numbers are.
True to rip.
Cooking.
Cooking.
My favorite website of all time, www.patreon.com.
Go over there.
It's a goddang party, gang.
How about a nice shout-out to our producer extraordinaire, the old magic man,
makes us all look good.
Works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours.
He crosses the T's, and he dots the I's.
Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins.
Toby McMullen, everybody.
What up, boys?
Hey, pal.
I'm stoked.
We got one of the best in the biz in here, man.
One of my all-time faves.
Man, he came to our show in Nashville, and I haven't been nervous like that.
Oh, man.
He was sitting in the back in the shadows like a mob boss, dude.
Petrified everybody in the room.
Man.
The last thing I needed with the pressure on that show.
He can change the energy.
Gucci sweatsuit.
Man, I was nervous.
Came in looking for a cell phone charger.
Gang, the long hair ain't lying because we couldn't be more excited to have our
incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today.
He is one of the funniest, one of the most prolific stand-up comedians working
today.
He has a brand new special out right now, the Domino Effect 3 on his YouTube
page, and he's also on tour.
I got a story to tell a story.
You can get tickets at alisadiq.com.
Give it up for Ali Sadiq.
There he is, man.
Thank y'all for having me.
There he is.
There he is.
Phenomenal show.
Thank you, man.
Phenomenal show.
I had a great time.
It was like Belichick walked in the room.
When you popped into that green room, I was like, fuck.
Hey, dude.
They were like, someone's outside and wants to come in, and I'm like, all right,
well, who is it?
And they were like, Ali Sadiq.
I was like, clean this place up, will you?
Get these empty beer bottles.
Got a goddamn legend coming in here.
Scraping pizza boxes under the couch.
It is a weird thing that most audience people, they don't know who I am at all.
I sell tickets to who I sell tickets to, but comedian.
I never thought I'd become a comedian's comedian.
It's the weird, and it's like, I wish it was not everybody.
It's like when people see me, because I guess because I don't be out much.
Sure.
I'm at the roast, the Tom Brady roast, and I'm not on the show.
I'm just sitting in the audience, and comments are coming up to me.
Hey, listen, Ali, I just want to just say, I'm like, what is wrong with you?
Like Azim.
That's my goddamn patron right now.
Azim, if you don't stand up.
And Kevin was walking, and he's getting ready to do something, and he took a
double take.
He was like, yo, wait.
Ali, what's going on, baby?
I said, man, I'm cool.
Yeah, man, you got that presence.
You do.
You do.
If Kevin wasn't enough, I'm getting ready to go into the after party at the
forum, which I know.
I just wanted to go in there and see what Magic Johnson was doing his thing at.
But this is the forum.
The forum.
Yeah.
So I'm walking in, and this is the craziest thing that ever happened.
And Chappelle is coming in at the same time, all these people trying to talk to
him, and he stops and says, Ali, you coming to Cincinnati.
You coming to the TAF.
Call me.
I would like to come if I'm in town.
Wow.
And I'm sitting there like, he knows that I'm coming to the TAF.
Yeah, he knows your schedule?
That's crazy.
My schedule?
Who have you been talking to?
And I was like, well, I don't have your number.
He was like, well, he took my phone, put his number in my phone.
I'm like, okay.
Then I walk over, and Sam, Jay, like, Ali, what's up?
I'm like, Chappelle just put his number in my phone.
Dude, I would have been like, I'm leaving this party.
It's all down over here.
Get out on a high note.
Yeah.
Well, the last time you were here, you were talking about, you were like, I
love going to see when comics are in town or whatever, and you're there.
You're like, I like Papa Maya.
I told you, you can come, but you're not getting on stage.
You're not burying me on my own goddamn show.
So he walked in, and everybody's like, and then you're like, oh, you went, like,
out to the bar, sat upstairs or whatever.
You're like, they're like, is he, everybody's like, is he going up?
I go, he is not fucking going up.
He can close out the show if he wants.
After we're done, he can go up.
All of a sudden, the lights are off.
They got a spotlight.
I'm like, where the hell they got a spotlight in here?
Man, I was in, I was telling you, because it's, it's, I am true to everything
that I've ever said is going to come to light in a person's life if I've told
it to him.
Like, just like coming here, I'm walking down the street.
This guy has his bags, and he was like, oh, shit.
I'm like, yo, what's up?
Yo, man, I got to take a picture, man.
My girl put me on you, and I ain't stopped laughing since.
And he's saying all this stuff.
And then we get ready, we took the picture, get ready to leave, and he said, yo,
and you fucking do be by yourself.
So he's like, I'm like, yo, man, I just, I step into the spots by myself all
the time.
Dude, we had, when you were there, we had eyes on you like you were the goddamn
president.
We were like, where's he at now?
What's he doing?
Is he still here?
Is he still here?
Yeah.
It was, yeah.
Man, the line.
You move with a nice present, a good present.
Man, the line of, I was waiting.
I was trying to speak to you guys.
It was just impossible.
The merchandise line.
It was so long.
I was like, yo, is this another show?
Man, like, I was like, yo.
I was like, I don't sell merchandise like this.
Because you go to people's shows, you're just jealous and shit.
I'm like, no, they selling it right there.
It's amazing.
I see that it happens.
Why do I have so much storage?
I have a storage space in Houston.
I have all the merchandise I've ever printed up is still with me.
I have all.
We have a lot of misses as well.
We got a lot of shit sitting there.
We got plenty of koozies if you want.
Beer koozies if you want.
Well, I saw y'all hit real hard.
I'm like, yo, man.
And I'm sitting there taking notes.
So they got the dude.
And then the table's on stage.
You know what I'm saying?
This is a good setup.
I was like, man, I can mimic this.
This is fucking dope.
It was great to see you, man.
Yeah, it was great to see you.
It was such a joy.
Very cool.
And honored that you came and watched the show.
Thank you very much.
Man, it was a great time.
I had a really, really, man.
You guys are very funny.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Very entertaining.
I was like, man.
And I've been to other people's shows.
And I hang out in the green room a lot.
If I'm not in the showroom, let's just let you know.
There's some guys out there right now going, fuck.
And this is when I used to feature a host.
And I hate is one.
He's my mentor.
So he figured it out.
And he was like, yo, people.
Because you dropped enough hints.
People would be on the road.
I would be on the road with people.
And he was like, yo, does Ali watch your show?
And he was like, no.
By the way, he doesn't.
You know what I'm saying?
And he was like, oh.
And he just, you know.
Because if I like you, I watch your show on the last day.
Sure.
I'm not going to watch you the whole weekend.
I'm going to watch you on the last day.
But if I don't like your show,
like, I'm never going to watch it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's tough.
Because I don't want to have an opinion.
That's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've made my opinion.
And then, because some people,
and it's not that their show is bad.
I don't ever say a comic show is bad.
It may be underdeveloped.
It's a very nice way to put bad.
If I ever tell you this.
I got a lot of underdeveloped material.
Yeah, me too.
You also saw us on, like, the second night of the tour.
So I'm like, I hope this material can stand up.
Yeah.
It was very, I mean, I enjoyed myself.
That's why I stayed.
Thank you.
At the end, I stayed all the way through from beginning to end.
So it's a difference between me saying that you left meat on the bone
versus saying that your show is underdeveloped.
Because if I say, yo, man, if I come and say, hey, man,
with that particular story, you left a lot of meat on the bone.
And let me give you, I'm not going to give you the words.
I'm going to just say, what about this right here?
The thought process.
The thought process.
What about this, Lane?
What about this?
You left so much.
Sure.
And now you have, once you think about it,
now you have five more minutes on that.
Because you took a left when you got in there and went down.
Yeah, you know.
Because sometimes you'll write something,
and it's just tunneled on what you're trying to get to
when it was so much on the side.
Yeah.
To still get to that point,
but you can still take some time over here, too.
Man, I feel like I stink now.
If you told that to me, I'd be in a hotel room going,
meat on the bone.
That was a 30-second bit idea.
How did I miss all that meat?
You're like, yo, you can get it to a minute.
You can get it to a minute.
You know?
You want 30 seconds to last,
you want 45 seconds to last,
and then 15 more seconds to last.
All right.
That's good stuff.
Buddy, we're glad to have you here.
Yeah, ma'am.
Again, congrats.
Domino Effect 3 out on YouTube right now.
Already cooking.
You're on tour.
Last time we left, you were classy.
Yeah, you did come out classy.
You bought some land.
Yeah.
You got the Mrs. Doing Mary Kay, your garden.
Oh, man.
Let me tell you about the Mary Kay.
Did it turn around?
It is definitely still a non-profit.
Talk about merch around the house.
You talk about the other half of the storage.
It is.
Like, I can't even bring it up no more.
It's like, but what about this shirt right here
that only I wear?
But, man, it is.
I've increased a little bit.
I bought another home, and I'm turning this into a bistro.
A bistro?
Yeah.
Because last time you were here, you were just boughten some acres
that you were going to build a house on?
Yeah, and that turned into wanting to just grow food.
Okay.
Just growing food.
Yeah, so now at the bistro, we've taken this land as well.
It's 5,800 square feet.
Okay.
All the, like, we don't.
It's fucking huge.
We don't have shrubbery.
Not that people put shrubbery and rose out there.
We put all food.
Okay.
Blueberries, figs, strawberries, purple hull peas, apples, pears,
oranges, limes, lemons, grapes.
We don't, the whole, we're going to put everything out there
so the chef that's cooking in the bistro can come out and get fresh.
Just grab it.
Farm the table.
Yeah.
So right there.
And it's a place where you can also stay.
Oh, really?
I mean, who's classier than this guy?
A little bed and breakfast.
Say you guys come into town, you don't want to stay at a hotel,
and you want to have private chef.
It's a two-bedroom.
Damn.
Oh, that's nice.
And with bath, full bath in each room.
Huh.
Half bath for dining guests that they never go into the 