Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Colin Quinn!
Uploaded: 2024-05-26T23:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Colin Quinn!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-26. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Colin Quinn!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-26. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Colin Quinn!

Gang, the boys are hitting the road for the Route 66 Tour.
Just a good old-fashioned American road trip.
USA! USA!
We're starting in Chicago, heading to Los Angeles, and stopping everywhere in
between.
What's more American than the gosh darn Grand Canyon?
Or the world's largest bottle of ketchup?
We're going to be doing shows in Chicago, St. Louis, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Albuquerque,
Flagstaff, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles.
All tickets available at RUGarbage.com.
See you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find
out there's a group to be classy.
Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition.
She is out scalping some Phillies tickets.
Oh, good for her.
For last night's game.
Great.
My co-host is coming at you, slightly unamused this week.
Right next to me, he is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman, and he's my best pal in the whole wide
world.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are...
True to Roof.
Cookin'.
Cookin'.
And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage.
Check it out.
It's a gosh darn party over there.
And how about a nice shout out to our producer extraordinaire, the old magic
man.
Makes us all look good.
Works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours.
He crosses the T's, and he dots the I's.
Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins.
Toby McMullen, everybody.
What up, boys?
Hey, pal.
Oh, I'm stoked, man.
We got a legend in here.
Excited and intimidating.
Yeah.
We wouldn't be here without this guy.
Of course.
New York as they come.
Makes me want to go take a coffee and yell at a cab driver.
Get it going.
Gang, the long hair ain't lying because we couldn't be more excited to have our
incredibly, and
I mean incredibly, special guest here with us today for the first time.
He is a legendary stand-up comedian, actor, and author.
And you might have seen him in, but not limited to, 1987's Three Men and a Baby.
We're going back.
We got The Cosby Show, Crocodile Dundee 2, Married to the Mob, The Ben Stiller
Show,
Larry Sanders, Anointed to Roxbury, 86 episodes of Saturday Night Live,
including 50 episodes
as the anchor on The Weekend Update, Windy City Heat, Grown Ups, Grown Ups 2,
Inside Amy
Schumer, The Jim Gaffigan Show, Sandy Wexler, Crashing, Life of Beth, Remote
Control, where
it all started, One Night Stand, Comedian Jimmy Kimmel, Last Comic Standing,
Girls, The
Tonight Show, 200 episodes of Tough Crowd with Mr. Colin Quinn, Howard Stern,
Carson Daly,
Late Night with Conan O'Brien, Gutfeld, Charlie Rose, 26 episode of Cop Show,
which can I tell
you, talk about a home run, baby.
You got Beat Bobby Flay, The View, Lights Out with David Spade, The Daily Show,
Joe Rogan.
He is also the author of multiple books, including The Coloring Book and Overstated,
multiple
stand-up specials, including Long Story Short, Unconventional, The New York
Story, Red State,
Blue State.
And he's got a brand new special out right now on his YouTube page entitled,
Our Time
Is Up.
Give it up for the one, the only, a true American original, Mr. Colin Quinn,
everybody.
How about that?
Come on.
By the way, guys, you left out one credit.
Hit me.
I threw out the first pitch 10 years ago at a Phillies game.
Oh, I'm done.
Was it a dunk or did you get it?
I got it, of course.
I smoked it.
Because, what's his name, Cole, you know.
Hamels.
Hamels.
Yeah.
He said, don't try to burn it.
You're on the mound.
Yeah.
You're up here.
Sure.
If you try to burn it, it's going to go down.
He goes, make sure you lob it a little bit.
I lobbed it right over, and then the crowd could not have been more
disappointed.
They wanted to boo me so badly.
Yeah, that's Phillies fans for you.
Yeah.
Even little kids, when I was leaving, they were looking at me.
Go back to New York.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, are you Yankees or Mets?
Mets.
You're a Mets guy.
But I don't care.
And it was a go, I'll get to the Phillies.
I go, because the Mets never asked me.
Sure.
Really?
I mean, you're a New York institution.
Oh, it doesn't matter.
It's curveball's no good.
I don't know what to tell you.
I mean, I nailed it, really.
We always say the best one was George Bush after 9-11, that perfect strike.
Walked out, smoked it.
That's what my pitch looked like.
He lobbed it, if you notice.
Very modest, too.
You forgot that.
He lobbed it.
I never even thought about it until I looked back.
His mind's not even filmed.
It's only like 10 years ago.
Someone's got to have it.
It's 10 years ago.
It's not like it was in the 80s.
But it was right before people, maybe it was 12 years ago.
It was right before people started really using their camera phone all the time.
Damn.
I know.
I'm still pissed about that.
At the time, I was glad, of course.
Sure.
Sure.
No evidence.
I was afraid I was going to pull a Gary Delabate.
Papa Bowie?
Was it a strike or not, though?
Gary's?
No, yours.
Mine was, yeah.
All right.
So there you go.
No, I'm saying I was scared beforehand.
Of course.
How's all those heathens down here in Philly?
Start throwing batteries at you.
Yeah.
They'll tear you apart.
I remember those Flyers.
The Flyers, like when I was growing up in the 70s, the Flyers was like famous.
Broad Street Bullies.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Tune you up.
Oh, they were nuts.
Oh, they were great.
Hey, thanks for coming by.
Hockey used to be all blood on the ice every game.
Sure.
Brutal, man.
No teeth.
Those guys were nasty.
Drinking.
Different day.
Yeah, they were drinking beers.
I'll tell you, one time we saw they had this guy, Tiger Williams, who's a
famous hockey
player for the Bruins back in the day.
And they had him on some show in Canada, and we were just watching Randall, and
then it
shows him and Dave Schultz, like punching each other blood all over the place.
Yeah, Dave Schultz.
And then the guy was looking at him, like trying to explain, like, how brutal
it was, and he
just turns to Tiger Williams, like, and Tiger Williams goes, the hammer.
Yeah.
The hammer.
Like, he wasn't ashamed.
He's like, that's what it was all about.
They would do that, and then they'd own, like, car dealerships and, like, hoagie
shops
around the city and stuff like that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
They retired to get free beers in whatever town they played in.
Yeah, you're, like, hanging out with Larry Boa.
I got an auto place.
Jim Fregosi.
Yeah.
Getting hammered.
So, we know you're a New York guy.
Give us the backstory on Conlon Quinn.
What's the origin story?
Brooklyn, originally.
Brooklyn.
But, you know, I mean, we call it, I say Park Slope, because we were Park Slope.
Okay.
Now, my parents are teachers.
Okay.
So, I really don't think that's garbage eat.
No.
It's great.
But, um...
You say Park Slope.
Are you near the park, or is that big?
Park Slope is, like, the hottest place in America right now.
Of course.
Or at least it was 10 years ago.
It was a pretty wild neighborhood.
It was almost like there was something very magic about it, I have to admit.
Sure.
It got wild.
It was a lot going on in Park Slope.
Okay.
And how many...
More so than most, even Brooklyn neighborhoods, I feel like.
Really?
Yeah.
More so than, like, Flatbush and stuff like that?
Yeah, at that time.
Yeah.
Okay.
In the 70s, early 70s.
A lot of friction.
A lot of friction, but a lot of wild...
Just, it was very wild.
I feel like the kids back then, you would, like, see movies.
It's like, they would just be, like, running down the streets with baseball
bats and stuff.
Yeah, well, there's some of that.
It was just crazy.
But it was also just, like, there was a lot of...
Like, the street...
Like, it's so funny, because if you go to Park Slope now, or go anywhere in the
city...
I can't afford to.
The streets are empty.
But when we were growing up, every street you'd be on, there was a...
It sounds like everybody's playing ball.
Stoop ball, stick ball.
All, every block, ladies are leaning out the window.
That's exactly what it was like.
Sure, sure.
It was crazy.
That's awesome.
How many brothers and sisters did you have?
Two sisters, one brother.
Two sisters, one brother.
Older, younger?
What was it?
One sister, older, Deirdre.
Okay.
Deirdre.
And then Dave and Jenny, the younger ones.
Deirdre Quinn.
Yeah, we got the Irish names.
Me and her.
Deirdre and Colin.
Deirdre Quinn.
And in those days, nobody was named Colin.
Now it's a very popular name.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Back then, in Brooklyn, nobody would even call you Colin.
They would just be like, hey, Collins.
They're just making a last name.
Yeah.
Collins.
That's got to be Bobby Collins over there.
Exactly.
Yeah.
And both your parents were teachers at public schools, New York City.
Public school.
But my mother, that was later.
She went to college later.
Oh, okay.
They got divorced.
Okay.
I got you.
What age did they get divorced?
What age were they?
Were you.
No, I'm joking.
I was probably not 12 or 13.
Okay.
And then did you split time with them?
Yeah.
I mean, my father would visit us, but we lived with them.
Okay.
Where did he move to?
To Manhattan.
Okay.
He moved to Manhattan.
And in the apartment when you guys were together, how many bedrooms was that
apartment that you
guys lived in a park?
Well, we lived in a house.
You had a house?
That was a proper house.
No kidding.
We had a house.
Single family, like a row home?
Well, like sort of a, no, brownstone, really.
All right.
Yeah.
But my aunts lived on the top.
We had my two aunts on the top floor.
Okay.
So it was broken up.
And then we had my other aunt on the bottom floor sometimes.
And so we lived in the two floors, sometimes three floors.
But yeah.
My two aunts on the top floor, Margaret and Dolores, were there for the whole
childhood.
And where was the rest of the extended family?
Bay Ridge.
Okay.
They were all in Bay Ridge.
Yeah.
And was this your mom's side of the family or your dad's side of the family?
Which ones?
The ones in the aunts.
The extended were in the Bay Ridge.
Both of them.
Both of them.
Really?
Wait.
They're both from Bay Ridge.
Oh, they're both from Bay Ridge.
Yeah.
But whose side of the family were the aunts that lived above you on?
Well, it was my, they were very close.
My mother's sister lived in the bottom floor when she lived there.
Okay.
But my father's sister and her friend Dolores, they weren't lesbians.
I know what you're thinking, but.
It wasn't, the second one wasn't your real aunt.
They were like, right, but they were like Laverne and Shirley.
Oh, okay.
I got you.
Like they were two working, both worked as secretaries, they used to call it in
those
days.
And they both would go out Friday night and have a few drinks and they were
like.
A couple of highballs.
Yeah.
And there were a couple of single gals out of town.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
Damn.
Man.
And one, the, the, the aunt that wasn't, my aunt smoked, chain smoked in the
house
Paul Morse all day.
So she would be smoking and my aunt be complaining about the smoke and you know,
but they, they lived
there my whole childhood.
I mean, we were up there all the time.
Old school as it gets.
Yeah.
The only, the only thing I, I mean, they were the greatest, you know, but they'd
eat liver
for dinner, you know, sometimes like, and then the only regret was that they
would get
cheese nips instead of cheese hits.
Oh.
And if you know anything about cheese nips versus cheese hits, it's not even a
comparison.
Built a career around it.
It's not even close.
Yeah.
We built a career around it.
It's not close.
Most of the con