Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Harland Williams!
Uploaded: 2024-05-29T23:00:26.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Harland Williams!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Harland Williams!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-05-29. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Harland Williams!

calling the army of garbage don't sleep on those live show tickets baby no way
we're gonna be in
new orleans dallas and houston in about two weeks yep and we also have portland
seattle vancouver
second show added plus all the cities on the route 66 tour get your tickets now
at are you
garbage.com we want to see you out there yeah welcome to another exciting
edition of are you
garbage the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy
individuals
or absolute trash now here are your hosts kevin ryan and h foley hey everybody
out there and
welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast this is are you garbage oh yeah it's
that little show we
sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it out there to be classy
yeah just a big old piece
of trash trash trash i'm your host h foley coming at you on a beautiful day we're
out back here at
tootie's in a new edition she's down at the barbershop getting her brazilian
done okay getting ready for
my co-host is coming at you from right next to me slightly amused this week he
is the ceo of are
you garbage he is an international businessman and he's my best pal in a whole
wide world and i love
him give it up for kj kevin james ryan everybody what up gang thanks for tuning
in as always please
make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes full video available on youtube
youtube as you know those
numbers are true to roof cook and then obviously the greatest website of all
time www.patreon.com
slash are you garbage you go over there you get up to a bajillion hours worth
of content gang oh love
that money having a nice shout out to our producer extraordinary the old magic
man makes us all look
good works the ones the twos the threes and the fours he crosses the t's and he
dots the i's
give it up for t-bone mcscruffins toby mcbowen everybody what up boys what up t-bone
let's go
all-time good guy i mean i wouldn't have the haircut i do without this
gentleman sure getting better
looking by the day i gotta say guy gang the long hair ain't lying because we
couldn't be more excited
to have our incredibly and i need an incredibly special guest here with us
today for the first
time he's a very funny very successful stand-up comedian actor and podcaster
and you might have
seen him but not limited to you got meet the robinsons ellen dumb and dumber
down periscope
wag the dog david mammoth very nice love that half baked there's something
about mary superstar the
whole nine yards freddie got fingered the gina davis show las vegas my name is
earl employee of
the month robot chicken sausage party kill tony tiger belly the tonight show
conan carson daily
the daily show premium blend david letterman oddballs you can hear him every
week on his amazing
podcast the harlan highway and he's got a brand new movie coming out very soon
called wingman
give it up for the one the only mr harlan williams everybody there he is thank
you that was quite
the looking sharp yeah wow buddy you've been killing it for a while oh thank
you i've been
blessed happy uh you know i just uh lucky i get to do what i love to do sure
very good outlook on it
you are getting better looking not that you've always haven't been a good
looking guy people are
telling you that you're aging very well very well i came to do a podcast not
get hit on
um you take that top off big guy awkward awkward i will i will i'm going to
first guy to roll in
with a can of coke too i respect it delicious yeah it's good for the gums
i mean we're like 450 episodes he rolled in with a half empty can of coke that's
all right and it's
warm too that's the bonus found it on his street it's it's it tastes like elk
urine
yeah
give us the uh give us the backstory give us the origin story of harlan before
i do can i just please
and i don't mean to just daddy doesn't mean to slide in here and critique you
guys
go right ahead fire away but i'm about camaraderie i'm about upping the game
for my friends
for my acquaintances my peers i noticed in your intro you said www.com
something
sure patreon we don't we don't do the www anymore that's like if someone asked
for your phone number
and you included the area code yeah my number is bracket 323 bracket 925 744
let's get rid of the
www from a from a friend to a friend i'll listen i'll take the notes yeah
workshop some things
and maybe workshop and you have you have elves i'll send it i'll send it up the
flagpole this is this
is our lose the the just facebook just go facebook yeah there you go okay that's
just me being
looking out for my guy appreciate it i was thinking i was thinking going the
other way including the http
slash backslash someone likes to work i get paid per word welcome to amish
country wow we might have some
amish listeners they don't know what the hell's going on to the omit they don't
have like they can't
listen right they don't legally i don't think legally they don't have like
equipment right they they do
oh yeah they they dabble they do yeah you'll get some rogue amish people rumspring
is pretty big i'm
sure they they consume some podcasts during rumspringa so like like uh lawrence
is sneaking out into the
barn in the middle of the night and cranking up a like a computer or something
at www.patreon.com
slash are you garbage so you just did it again my guy you're a canadian guy do
you do is there amish
up in canada yeah there are ish ish amish ish yeah are they like mennonites or
they're sort of amish
but ish they're amish ish are they on the outskirts i don't know if they wear
dresses i mean guy he's
quick huh well if you're gonna be nosy that was the most canadian thing you're
gonna be nosy
yeah do you mind your own business fella yeah www mind your own business how
about that yeah dot com
ish backslash if it's canadian no replace it with dot ish dot ish the amish uh
yeah give us
give us a scoop uh where you grew up oh yeah okay so we were a farm farm family
really up in like
we call ourselves corn people we grew up like uh like crops uh corn sure
farming uh what part of
canada uh we were in the rural part outside of uh just outside of a town called
new market is that
on the east west that's uh about uh she's about uh that is some country she's
about she's about
probably uh i'd say about an hour 25 north of toronto okay okay gotcha biggest
city in canada
toronto right so we were corn people and uh we ran about uh i want to say 600
acres but it was just
under it was about family farm yeah was it in your family before your parents
handed down and uh so we
were the we were corn folk and uh loved corn uh were you i assume you were
working on the farm at an
early age yeah we were always up early early like uh sometimes five in the
morning what were your
responsibilities well we we had to collect the corn we had to like my dad got
me rigged up in the john
deer at like an early age like like yeah like i like i i don't know if i can
get in trouble for this
but we were sort of like we're like underage tractor drivers like i think the
statute of limitations is
past i know but i just feel weird like my dad he's in his 90s and i'd hate to
see him get arrested at
this age but mr williams we need to talk yeah you're the punk we're looking for
he'd uh he'd wake us up
and uh taught us how to ride the rigs around and uh you know it was great i
mean it sounds like a big
operation and how many how many of there were you how many four sisters four
and i was the only guy
really older or younger uh i was in the middle so i it was i was uh yeah it was
uh toughy it's hard to
have friends when you're out there sure uh this is a little embarrassing but uh
i'm quirky the the
scarecrow was well we had a scarecrow and i i could sort of like you know you
don't want friends when
you're way out there you don't have you you're not going to play with the girls
right and my dad put
this wonky scarecrow it's kind of creepy to be honest but i nicknamed him corky
and i would talk
to him i would go out in the corn and talk to him and it's like canadian castaway
yeah it was sort of
like my my sort of my uh like imaginary imaginary friend but to me it was very
real and i'd get i'd
get mad when crows came around like i'd get i'd get really sort of pissed me
off i thought they were
sort of taunting them and you know messing with them what was the school
situation uh homeschooled
really yeah yeah no kidding who did the teaching mom my mom did most of it but
i did i went to night
school so my dad did uh he went he came into my room at night and uh we read
curious george we read uh
where the wild things are uh all the books whoa yeah i think you might be the
first homeschooled guest
we've had yeah which is up until when uh right up till prom and then it's great
in canada they did
grade 13 right okay so great right up to grade 13 and then uh i graduated in
the living room and then
we um i went out into the world from there is he with this i don't know i think
he's serious
what do you mean wait what do you mean up until prom did you go to prom yeah in
the living room we
haven't we had it it was me and gorky split a limo what the what who'd you take
to prom my mom
hello i'm not gonna take one of my stupid sisters that'd be that'd be weird
yeah uh were you really
homeschooled yes yeah oh yeah the whole way through through high school yeah
you didn't graduate high
school well i've graduated my house yeah yeah like yeah he got a certificate
well i got a lease i got
a i got a deed yeah okay yeah from the from my parents from your parents yeah
they gave you what
was the highest math that you took in the house probably like nine times ten
yeah you said no one
taught you like trigonometry algebra i ain't no academic i'll tell you that
like did you go to
college i thought ain't i thought angles well it was anal my whole life and uh
yeah really okay yeah
yeah i can't tell if you're being serious i love it did you go to college i did
not no no college
no it's how do you get from the cornfields to los angeles well to being in dumb
and dumber well
when you have an audience of one who can't leave who's literally got a stake
into the ground
and you spend every sunset of your adolescence running your routine past corky
uh you get sharp
quick you're able to handle that and that corky can be a tough critic i hear oh
god yeah but uh we had
fun we're off the rails i like it okay was there a pond on the land yeah he's
lying he probably from
toronto i grew up in a two-bedroom yeah i just wanted to know if you played
pond hockey that was
well yeah yeah how far he goes with it yeah yeah any sports girl what were the
sports growing up
hockey man hockey that's canada national pastime so you played hockey played
hockey my whole life
position we talking forward okay right or left but i did both i would vacillate
i don't know
if that's a word your audience who are you playing hockey with so i played uh i
played uh he's got a
wrist there that'll put you out so it wasn't that you weren't homeschooled hey
hey what now
i uh i i actually went to a hockey camp and then i played uh when i moved to la
i played in the
leagues in la okay ice and roller no kidding yeah loved it huh yeah loved i
love hockey all right yeah
okay did you play hockey yeah now play lacrosse oh lacrosse yeah that's a canadian
game too there
you played hockey hockey growing up yeah what position uh right wing oh man
yeah what a treat
yeah good times who's your team in canada who do you like maple leaves no
because they always lose
they just recently lost sure so i just go after uh whoever's the canadian team
and then if they get
knocked out uh i uh move on dot org you know yeah yeah ww move on dot org huh
all right so
you're lying about the homeschool thing right
i don't like to say lying i'm not telling the truth
you do have four sisters yeah you were your family did have a corn corn yeah
farm yeah okay who are
you selling the cool who's your dad selling the corn to he'd just take it down
to the local market
yeah yeah he sold we did gourds too do you 