Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Dov Davidoff!
Uploaded: 2024-06-05T23:00:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Dov Davidoff!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Dov Davidoff!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-06-05. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Dov Davidoff!

Brian's question: is it garbage to order deli meat by the dollar amount instead
of the weight?
I said three dollars! That says $3.25!
Come to get three dollars a ham and five on pump four.
Buddy, I love you.
Get your tickets now at RUGarbage.com. We want to see you out there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of "Are You Garbage?"
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.
Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This
is "Are You Garbage?"
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out
if they're good to be classy
or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host H Foley coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She's down at the bar shooting a little stick.
Okay.
Playing a little nine ball.
I love it.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of "Are You Garbage?"
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube, as you know those numbers are.
True to Rope.
Cooking, baby.
Cooking.
And then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com/areyougarbage.
You go over there, you get all your content, baby.
Mm-mm-mm.
How about a nice shout out to our producer, Extraordinaire.
The old magic man makes us all look good.
Works the ones, the twos, the threes, and the fours.
He crosses the T's and he dots the I's.
Give it up for T-Bone McScruffins.
Toby McMullen, everybody.
What up, boys?
What up, T-Bone?
Excited?
I'm stoked, man.
This guy's vibes are through the roof.
Coming in hot.
Comes in hot, wheeling and dealing off Jump Street.
He's trying to close right now.
Trying to throw us out of our goddamn house.
What are you talking about?
Trying to give us a low ball offer.
But gang, the long hair ain't lying because we couldn't be more excited to have
our incredibly,
and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time.
He is a very funny stand-up comedian and actor.
Got a little bit of cash on him, too.
You might have seen it in, but not limited to, you got Third Watch, Law and
Order, Invincible,
Reigns, Boston Legal, Brothers, Let Go, Marin, you got The League, Horace and
Pete, Blackmail,
you got The Punisher, you got Shades of Blue, Crashing, Hustlers, got his own
Comedy Central Presents,
Last Call with Carson Daly, Jimmy Kimmel Live, WTF, Lopez Tonight, The Tonight
Show,
44 episodes of Chelsea Lately, how you doing?
The comedian, he's got two amazing specials, Filthy Operation, and the point is,
gang, give it up for the one and the only, Dove Davidoff, everybody.
There he is.
Sharp, too.
Yeah, good looking guy.
He keeps it tight.
I keep it pretty tight.
I tell you, you know, the credits, yeah, yeah.
I don't want you looking around this place.
I feel you're like a human tape measure.
What do you pay for square foot here?
No, no, listen, I'm just, you know, making observations.
What the audience doesn't know, we were talking about real estate before that,
you know,
how to determine a valuation for the space they have and whether or not they
were being overcharged.
Buddy, I should have talked to you before I signed the lease.
On their lease renegotiation.
I don't want to leave you guys out of the contextual loop.
Before he got into the 45 credits, 44 of which I could give a fuck about.
Oh, man.
He's a straight shooter.
He is.
He's calling balls and strikes, maybe.
Yeah, we're big fans, man.
We always thought you were hysterical.
Uh-huh.
It's great to have you here.
This is a cool operation.
Thank you, buddy.
Thank you.
Yeah, you guys are clearly pros, too.
It's interesting to...
We're not.
We figure we've kind of backdoor fell into this.
Yeah, but that's what it means to be a pro, right?
He's shaking off an eight ball right now.
I'm dying.
Give us the back story, Dov.
The back story.
You grew up in childhood?
Yeah, yeah.
I was...
Yeah.
I come from Jersey.
I grew up in a junkyard in English town, which is...
Really?
Yeah, an actual junkyard.
We had a dirt driveway across the street.
It was a junkyard.
My father was in the junk business.
But it was very strange.
I think that's how I got into comedy.
Is it, you know, it's a...
I don't know.
I guess, who gets into comedy?
People that are looking at the world from the outside, right?
You gotta be fucked up a little bit.
Right, but that's, that's right.
I think that's the umbrella idea.
And beneath that, you're sort of trying to reconcile existence, I think, you
know,
without dropping a philosophical anvil, you know?
No, no, but dick jokes are a way to come at it as well.
I mean...
Sure, you're looking at, you always had a different lens of the world.
I mean, growing up in a junkyard, I think that's a good start.
Well, it wasn't just a junkyard, you know, my...
That's most of Jersey, though, let's be honest.
Well, yeah, look, parts of it, especially where I grew up.
But, I mean, it wasn't short hills.
I mean, it was a fucking...
Anyway.
You know what a house costs over there, huh?
Yeah, yeah.
I can show you something.
By the way, no, that's an ironic thing.
Things have gone up by 30, 40% in the suburbs.
In the city, it's been flat for 10 years,
residential, and the building you're in is worth half of what it was pre-COVID.
I'm telling you for real, but anyway, the audience doesn't care about things
that are important.
Let's talk about this.
Was your dad successful in the junk business?
Was it a lucrative business?
They made money over time, but, you know, success is a contextual thing.
I mean, he had a pocket full of cash at a certain point, but it's like being,
you know,
it's like being the son of the local, you know.
If you grew up in the projects, you have money if your father has a pocket full
of cash,
but that doesn't mean you have real money, you know, it's all relative.
Gotcha.
Um, but, but my father's an uneducated Jewish business guy from the Bronx.
My mother was an un, my mother was a hippie intellectual, went to Columbia,
wasp from California on her way to teach piano in India.
She stopped off to meet her.
She had a lesbian friend who owned a monkey.
The woman, the woman that owned the monkey.
This is like a Rodney Dangerfield setup.
I'm telling you, I, I, you know, when I use the word reconcile,
it wasn't because, you know, somebody had a wacky painting in the living room.
I was really trying to deal with some shit.
Um, God damn monkey looking at me.
No, no, but I know the monkey died before I was born.
But, but, God rest his soul.
But that's the kind of scene, this crazy scene, but she was on her way to India,
but she stopped over.
She met my father and then they were married for a little while.
Where'd they meet up in the Bronx or in the city?
No, no, Jersey, across the street from the junkyard in Jersey.
And, um.
That's where they met?
That's where the woman was renting a house that owned the monkey.
You couldn't get a good rental back then if you had a monkey.
Yeah, you had to go out to English town.
Yeah, you were out in this area where, you know, you could live with a monkey.
She stopped off, she stopped, can't be in a Bronx with a goddamn monkey.
Yeah, where are you going to go to midtown Manhattan
when this building was worth something back in the day with a monkey?
Wait, so she was visiting her friend, your dad owned the junkyard.
He owned the house that the monkey owner was living in.
Okay.
It was a little shitty rental property.
You can only imagine what it was, but they met.
And so, but then she got involved in a commune.
They were convinced for many years, she spent most of her divorce money on
freeze-dried food
and earth-integrated housing on a, on a, it was a cult, you know, but, but.
We are off to the races.
You know, and so, but, and so she was up there.
They would meet at St. Patrick's Cathedral in the city here in Manhattan,
and then they bought this land upstate and they were convinced that the
apocalypse was inevitable,
but that they would be protected by a force field, you know, classic upbringing.
You know, boy Scouts baseball games.
And what age were you when they divorced?
Two, but they lived in the same house for the following 10 years.
Jeez.
So, and then, you know, I ended up for a little while, went to just a few weeks,
but it made an impression.
I was on a commune in India, Saibaba, you know, this guy walk around in orange
robe
and we would stay on these concrete floors for 25 cents a night.
You'd go back to where I grew up in Jersey and you couldn't communicate these
things to anybody.
Some guy in Jersey, yeah.
Yeah.
Trying to split that to your dad?
Yeah, exactly.
What?
You could barely-
I got a fender on a Ford Escort I needed.
Hold on.
Yeah.
Your parents got married.
Are you an only child or you have brothers and sisters?
I have a brother.
He became a shrink.
He became a psychiatrist.
Yeah, another way to reconcile existence.
Sure.
Older or younger than you?
Two years younger.
Two years younger.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So they get married, they have you, then they have your brother and they
divorce.
Split.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And then they live on the junkyard for 10 years.
Did you know that they were divorced when you were a little kid?
Yeah, yeah.
They would yell at each other and lived on separate floors.
Oh, man.
Yeah, that was the clue.
They were living on separate floors.
That's a dead giveaway.
No, no, yeah.
No, really.
And so, yeah.
But anyway, like if you come from that kind of background, it was so crazy
making that you
find a way to reconcile-
Sure, idealistic, yeah.
Yeah.
You know, or you end up on heroin or something.
And so she took you, did she take your brother to India too?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, it was a whole family operation.
Not your dad though?
No.
No.
No.
My father wasn't.
This is when she was starting to do the-
Yeah, she got involved in this commune cult thing.
And they had good intentions.
They weren't-
Right.
You know, it wasn't a destructive philosophy, but it was very ethereal and they
spent a
lot of their money and their time in ways that would have been otherwise used
for a sustainable
life.
Yeah.
And then-
A couple of Tonka trucks.
Yeah, you know.
Yeah.
And then after 10 years, this is when she moved up there.
She had never moved up there full time.
You know-
Where'd she go after she lived in a house with you?
She went back to school.
She lives on the Lower East Side right now.
Yeah, she's a painter and a psychoanalyst, stayed in the area, and then, you
know, and
so from there, you know, I was thrown out of school, but then I went back, went
to Rutgers
for a little while, and then I left, and then, you know, I got into comedy.
And I started working on Wall Street, actually, when I was 21.
You did?
Yeah, or 20, and I was 19 or 20, and then that's how I got involved in comedy,
yeah.
New York Exchange or the American Exchange?
New York.
New York, the one where people, you know, that crazy floor, when you get that
image.
This was, what year, what year are we talking about here?
Yeah, it was really like this, 1937.
That was a good year.
But before we move on too far from the cult, what was the vibe like when the
apocalypse didn't
show up?
Are they still waiting?
Did they have a date?
Well, it's a good question.
They didn't have a date, so there's no-
Respect, don't ever write anything in English.
Never write anything down.
Don't commit to a date.
If you don't commit to a date, you're always waiting, you know?
That's how you lose customers.
You can't be wrong.
Yeah, yeah.
Business 101.
Yeah, start walking out.
Yeah, yeah.
What was the freeze-dried food?
Well, when the apocalypse hit, you'd need freeze-dried food because you wouldn't
have access
to markets, really, you know