Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Wasp Attack w/ Kippy & Foley
Uploaded: 2024-08-18T23:00:12.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Wasp Attack w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Wasp Attack w/ Kippy & Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-18. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Wasp Attack w/ Kippy & Foley

Hachi-machi, New York City and the surrounding areas.
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questions live.
Yeah, I'm not supposed to say anything, but we got Mark Norman, Ari Shafir, and
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All tickets available at RUGarbage.com.
We'll see you there.
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Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out
they grew up to be classy.
Yeah.
Aren't they just a big old piece of trash?
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition.
She just picked up a part-time job over at the high school.
Okay.
Defensive coordinator.
Going to be running a 4-3 this year.
Hell of a squad.
Nickel package.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
First things first, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are true.
Roof, baby.
Cooking.
And then, obviously, my favorite website of all time, you go over there to www.patreon.com
slash are you garbage, and you can get up to 2.4 bajillion hours worth of bonus
content
over there.
I'm talking weekly bonus episodes of AYG, weekly episodes of Hard Feelings, and
then we got,
I don't know, about 20, 30 just proper bonus videos over there.
At least cooking, baby.
I love it.
And, gang, our good pal, Toby McMullen, is no longer with the show.
We wish him the best of luck.
We're going to be supporting him in anything he does.
We hope you guys do the same.
Filling in for him.
Is he very timid?
You look like a kid that just went up to the cockpit.
How do you fly this thing?
New Guy Luke, everybody.
Working the ones and twos.
There he is.
New Guy Luke.
Hey, kid.
Is this where I speak now?
Yeah, this is your time.
Should I put up, like, an arm when I have something to say?
If you take your Invisalign out, look at those chompers.
Jeez, you look like George Washington sitting back there.
Yeah.
Gang, we're here for what we call a little family episode.
Yes.
Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies, just the way we like it.
I've been doing battle over at my place.
Okay, I mean, I don't know with who or with what, but I guarantee you, you ain't
winning.
Wasps.
No.
Ooh, buddy.
No, where?
I got an insurgency going on over at my place.
Oh, shit.
So, up on the roof.
Nice joint you got there.
I've been spending a lot of time by the duct work.
That's where I catch my heaters, over by the broiler.
Up on the roof, the railing is steel pipes, right?
Yeah.
Real architect you are.
They're open, like, at the ends.
Oh, that's where they get you.
And, I don't know, I've really been putting it off for, like, weeks.
Do you smoke them out or something?
What do you do?
I saw a couple a few weeks ago.
I'm going to get to it.
I got to get the wasp spray.
I got to get the wasp spray that has that long little red thing so I can
fucking squirt in there and get them.
You're not quick enough to get away if they turn on you.
That's the problem.
I'm aware of that.
Dude, I was in DEFCON 4 or whatever.
You know what?
Whatever the bad one is.
I was jammed up.
I waited too long.
And then I got some wasp spray.
And I went up there and, man.
Good lord.
Just went to war with them.
But I couldn't get in there.
They kept coming out and getting away.
That was all.
Listen, what you're not a, you know, what you should do is you're a very
charming guy.
What am I going to do, crowd work on them?
You should infiltrate the nest, make them think you're one of them, and then
take over.
Inside job.
Corporate takeover.
Hey, this fat guy's pretty cool, huh?
Hey, we're on the street.
He's got good connect.
Nah, I just nuked him.
I went in there, got him in there, went the other side.
But now I feel like they flew over to the fence.
There's a couple over there.
I don't know if they had like a side.
One's having sex with my wife.
Hey, buddy, get out of here.
I don't know if they had a side base or something like that, but they're still
kind of up there.
That wasp spray is toxic, man.
That was on my fingers.
I picked my nose, dude.
I could smell it for two days.
They start flying out.
That'll kill you.
Yeah, man.
Not a guy of your size.
That's got to be a lot of wasps.
You've got a half a can in me.
You don't have anything like that down there.
No, I got nothing in the bird.
You're going to get them.
I got some birds.
We got some birds in the gutters.
Birds in the gutter.
That's a new punk band coming out.
Yeah, we got a, there's a bird's nest like under the gutter guard in the gutter.
And I just let them be.
That's the, you know, that's what I'm going to do.
That's nice.
The one, but then the baby falls out though.
Then you're jammed up and you got to take care of it.
Yeah.
We'll cross that bridge when I get to it.
But back, that reminded me, I don't know if you guys back in the day, spent a
lot of
time just like in the woods or whatever, smoking cigs, you know, like eighth
grade summer.
What varsity athletes do?
Eighth grade summer, seventh, sixth to eighth grade summer.
You got nothing going on.
You got no day job.
You're not working yet.
You know what I mean?
So just wake up.
We'd fucking, you know.
Rip heaters by the creek.
Yeah.
Try to get some, try to get our hands on some heaters.
Go out by the creek.
Maybe someone could, you know, snag a couple of brewskis or something from the
house.
You got nothing but time.
Nice bottle of amaretto.
Dude, I remember.
I think I sent Vinny with the skinny in August.
It was my birthday.
It must have been like my 13th birthday.
He stole a bottle of a.
It was just your birthday, by the way.
Happy birthday, pal.
Thank you.
It was just my birthday.
What are you, 38?
38.
Woo.
Look at you.
Airline, 56.
Hey, you don't.
Waistline.
What is your waist?
38?
I might 36s, but I'm under the, I'm under the, I'm under the pouch.
I'm not going over.
Oh, okay.
If I went over the pouch, I'd be, I don't know, a 52 or something.
I'm over the pouch.
Yeah, it's not a great look either.
I don't know what to do.
You got me, dude.
You got fat math teacher waist.
That thing is screaming.
I thought about it, though.
I am 50.
I'm 48.
I don't got to worry about that shit now.
No, do you.
I'm gross.
You're not doing this from a wheelchair.
Wheel you in here.
Prop you up.
Pulling in a rascal.
But dude, finding, I remember one time we found a monster bee's nest.
This thing was, I mean, this was the size of like a five-gallon bucket.
It must have just been there for years.
In the tree?
In the tree.
Probably about 25 feet up.
And I mean, we, for a week and a half, went to war with this thing.
The rocks and shit?
Yeah, just rocks.
So dumb.
Do tennis balls.
That's how they got Macaulay caulking in my garage.
I know.
His glasses.
He can't see without his glasses.
He's dead.
He's not going to need glasses where he's going.
I respect bees.
I love bees.
I love honey.
I know what they do.
What are you running for fucking mayor?
I'm just saying.
I'm scared of them.
And wasps, forget about it.
They serve no social contribution.
At least bees are kind of cute.
Wasps are proper evil looking.
Bumblebees scare me, too.
They're like flying dogs.
Those things are huge.
Dude, those things got some weight to them.
But I heard they don't bite.
I think they can bite and not sting.
Or something like that.
They can bite and not sting.
Can we get a...
They have a retractable stinger.
The bumblebees.
Wait, the wolverines?
Yeah, the big ones.
The big fuzzy guys.
Yeah, they come back in and out.
Oh, they don't die when they...
I don't think they die when they sting.
I think the worker bees do.
Might as well be a goddamn devil.
Because everybody told us that when we were a kid.
Bumblebees don't sting.
And my buddy, Mikey Brown, we were sucking down a couple of Choco Tacos.
As you done.
Like a varsity athlete.
In town line.
And one went on the back of his knee.
And somebody's like, don't worry, they don't sting.
And this thing lit him up, dude.
You thought he got snipered.
It was brutal.
Yeah, it's just the drones that don't have the...
The, like, in-between bumblebees, you know?
Not the big dogs.
Okay.
The drones.
The drones.
The worker bees.
I love all that stuff.
But wasps are evil.
They don't do nothing.
No.
They don't serve any purpose, I don't think.
Neither do I, for that matter.
Still.
They're like the poison sumac of bees.
That was like, you know, remember how, like, yeah, I got poison.
Watch out, there's sumac in there.
You got poison or poison oak?
Was it poison oak?
Poison oak and poison sumac.
Poison ivy's the regular one.
That was like the boogeyman.
Fucking, you just hear tales of that stuff getting a kid two schools over.
Poison ivy was all right.
That was...
You could, that's matter.
You get sumac.
You're ending up down in Children's Hospital, dude.
You're fucking jammed up.
I was always amazed when people could recognize it.
My mom would be like, that's poison oak.
Don't touch it.
Who are you, Bear Grylls?
She's over there smoking it.
Getting twisted.
I used to get that shit so bad.
I was so allergic to poison ivy.
Anyway, jammed up over there with the wasp situation.
Why are you calling a pro?
What?
Calling a professional exterminator.
Hey, come get these guys.
I thought you meant like LeBron or somebody.
Hey, why don't you dunk on these dudes?
Steph Curry in there.
Light them up with some threes.
Could not afford them.
Yeah.
But that's either here or there, gang.
We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands.
As you know, when you sign up for the Patreon, we will answer your garbage
questions on the
air.
Le