Name: Dr. Phil LIVE! (Adam Ray) | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast
Uploaded: 2024-08-20T23:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dr. Phil LIVE! (Adam Ray) | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-20. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dr. Phil LIVE! (Adam Ray) | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-08-20. Transcript available.

Dr. Phil LIVE! (Adam Ray) | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast

Hachi-machi, New York City and the surrounding areas.
We got a brand new show coming to the Gramercy Theater August 27th.
We're going to have some of our favorite guests come on and answer your garbage
questions live.
Yeah, I'm not supposed to say anything, but we got Mark Norman, Ari Shafir, and
Big Jay Oakerson.
All tickets available at RUGarbage.com. We'll see you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it
out there to be classy.
Yeah.
But they're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a soggy, rainy day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She's on Hurricane Watch.
Okay.
The malt liquor.
She's all banged up in there.
Shout out to it.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are?
True.
Cookin', and then obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
Slash RU Garbage.
You go over there.
It's a gosh darn party, gang.
But gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean
incredibly, special guest here with us today for the first time.
He holds a doctorate in clinical psychology.
He is one of our most beloved television personalities and author.
He needs no introduction.
Give it up for Dr. Phil, everybody.
Appreciate it.
Happy to be here.
Thanks for the LaCroix.
I'm more of a crystal clear Pepsi guy, but you know what?
Crystal clear Pepsi is a lot like having a stepmom, okay?
People bring it to Thanksgiving and everyone goes, well, nobody wanted that,
but dad brought it, so I'll take a sip.
I do want to promote my book, We've Got Issues.
We've all got issues.
Kev's got HPV, and Foley's got a weird-looking penis, but I don't know that.
I just, okay, well, we'll get into it in a second.
I want to plug my dates real quick.
Dr. Phil Live is on the road, October 25th at the Miller Theater in Philly,
October 26th at Capital One Hall in D.C.
Where's my can?
I'm looking like Tucker, just fucking sideways and through the Milv's twat.
But, all right, through the Milv's twat, by the way, is a live show I started
in college.
We'll come back to that, October 26th, Capital One Hall in Tysons, Virginia,
and then November 15th here in New York City at the Beacon Theater,
December 6th at the Celebrity Theater in Phoenix, Arizona, December 7th at the
San Diego Civic Theater in San Diego, California.
Bring your bros, bring your dads, bring your dad's weird friend that touched
you in the wagon, and we'll rip it up.
All those tickets at AdamRayCombie.com.
Happy to be here.
Dr. Phil is cooking.
I got a half chub.
That's all we have for today.
Yeah, that's it.
Thanks for letting me come on just to plug my dates and plug my butt with a
thumb or a plug.
Stay healthy, everybody.
Stay healthy.
Big fan of the show.
Thanks for letting me come by.
Big fan of you, Dr. Phil.
Appreciate it.
Appreciate it, yeah.
How was the flight in?
It's a personal question, but it was good.
I did a spirit for the first time ever.
You're really rolling the dice with the spirit.
Only one door, two wheels, but four flight attendants with Asperger's.
So, hey, tomato, tomato, Ray Romano.
Do you like to fly up front, Doc, or do you like to sit in the back with the
common folk?
With the first class is better.
Let's just not skip around the bush.
Hey, you're reaching to the choir.
You got the cash?
I got the cash.
Usually I'm flying by myself, but I get called out for this a lot where it's
like, you got
your own plane.
What are you flying with the peasants for?
But, you know, you got to stay connected, as you guys do with your show and
your fans.
You got to maintain a relatability factor.
So, if I get on the plane, I'm in first, and maybe I get bumped down to coach
because
I threw a cookie at the pilot.
Only got to get bumped down to coach.
Oh, you get bumped down.
I mean, you can do it.
Remember that girl that said, that motherfucker back there is not real.
She was in first class.
They kicked her to coach, and her boyfriend, who was in coach, she went back
there, I think,
to fuck her.
I forget.
I read the article.
It's something about he cheated on her.
He fucked someone else in the bath.
I forget.
I don't even read the article, but my point is, you can do whatever you want on
a plane
these days.
Well, you take food on a plane, Dr. Phil.
You have to.
You do take food.
You have to.
You can't rely on a plane's ability to feed you.
Okay.
That's pretty profound.
When I talk about that in my book, We've Got Issues, chapter 42, if you're
getting
sushi on a Delta flight, you probably also think Air Bud is based on a true
story.
That's a good airline, Air Bud.
Air Bud.
Oh, shit.
Chapter 15.
I don't even think about that.
Air Bud Airlines?
Wait, but does a dog.
I'm flying a medallion.
But does a dog fly the plane?
Of course.
That's the only reason I'm taking it.
That's the only reason I'm taking it.
You've got to stick with the gimmick.
What is it?
Yeah.
Plenty of treats on that flight.
You don't got to bring food.
You don't got to bring food, just kibbles and clits.
But I think that most planes have an assortment of peanuts and salty stuff.
I'm a sweet guy.
I'm a Sour Patch Kids dipped in some Cool Whip.
You're doing Sour Patch Kids on a flight?
I think that's what I just fucking said, yeah.
You repeat it like it's an issue.
Dr. Phil, I apologize.
No, it's fine.
I just thought this was a safe space to talk about sour candies.
But I do think that if you go on a plane and you go, I want their chicken marsala.
Take a step back and realize where you are, sweetheart.
Okay?
Well, we're different.
I'll order when it emails you.
Hey, what do you want?
You'll pre-order.
I pre-order the burger on a Delta flight.
Medium rare I go.
How is, dear God.
How is, okay.
How'd you end up on a spirit flight?
Let me ask you that.
Again, just trying to be a man of the people.
Okay.
My assistant norm is all about making sure I stay dialed in to what people are
into.
Spirit, though, it'll be the first and last time.
Do you know how Spirit put a six-year-old child on the wrong plane two months
ago?
Really?
I know this feels like a stand-up bit, but it's a real thing that I read with
my face.
Spirit put a six-year-old child on the wrong plane.
And I just said to my assistant norm, I go, because he goes, you sure you want
to fly Spirit?
They put a six-year-old child, just to say it three times like Chris Rock, they
put a six-year-old child on the wrong plane.
I said, Norm, if you're traveling solo at six, your parents don't want you
anymore.
First of all, you're an orphan now.
That was an inside plan.
It doesn't matter where you go.
They're not the best.
They don't care as much.
You do want an airline to at least go, we fucked up.
We lost your bag.
Here's somebody else's bag, you know?
Sure.
Here's someone else's six-year-old.
Here's somebody else's six-year-old.
Funny.
You guys should start a podcast.
Yeah, I don't know.
I'm more of a, if I have to fly commercial, I'll be honest, Delta, JetBlue is
fun.
When you're going coast to coast, they put you in that mint chocolate chip
section.
You're in the pod, yeah.
You're in the pod, and you are in a true simulation.
Now, will you ring the bell for a flight attendant if you need something?
Do you ring the bell?
I'll just stand up and go get it.
Okay.
Yeah, again, I don't like to boggle them down.
But the pods, JetBlue, man, you're two seats away from flying the fucking plane.
Do you do the suit on the plane, or do you like to go comfortable and sweat?
You go comfy, Cash.
I've got a FUBU jumpsuit.
Sometimes I've got a Grant Hill t-shirt and Hakeem Olajuwon.
He had a limited edition sweat pant line.
Okay.
It took me a minute to find that improv, but...
Those are your players.
You like the old school guys.
Oh, I'm a 90s basketball slut.
I will just double deep dog.
Just give me two.
Give me a David Robinson and a Patrick Ewing side.
Anthony Mason, John Starks.
I mean, I'm giving you New York only, but fucking Sean Camp, Gary.
Give me a Robert Ori.
Give me a fucking...
A Coral Malone, if you will.
I'll let Latrell Spreerall strangle me while I fuck my wife.
That's how much I love 90s basketball.
Shout out to P.J. Carlissimo.
Drink five if you're playing the P.J. Carlissimo drinking game every time he's
mentioned on the
podcast.
Yeah, I do wear the suit from time to time.
If I got to go straight from here to there, and what I mean by that, Kev, is if
I got to
go straight from flat to meeting, you know, and I don't got time to change,
then I'll
rock the suit, but comfy, cozy.
And again, be one of the people.
People don't dress up on plans like they used to.
No, times are changing.
Times are changing.
All right, you running for office?
With your help, we can change that.
Yeah, okay.
Easy.
Doc, who do you stay with when you're in town?
You stay with friends?
I've got some friends here.
I've got some fam.
I usually stay at a hotel if I can.
But again, it's like, I'm not a couch crasher anymore.
Don't cancel me.
But I think that it's fun to hit up the homies from the past.
Sure.
I've got girls here that have been a part of my past and a part of my front,
too.
I bet you do.
But they've got families now, so it's a little weird.
It's a little weird to hit up Charlene and go, can I sleep in the bunk bed
again?
Is it cool if Uncle Phil stops mine?
I wanted to ask you, speaking of kids, you mentioned that, you know, we talk
about a lot of stuff on the show.
That's what I love about the show.
You guys cover it all.
And, you know, some things that we do, some things that I do that, you know, my...
He has a little bit of what I would call a rest of development.
Sure.
I love that.
Sure.
I was wondering what your opinion, doctor, is how long or how old is too old
for a kid to sleep in bed with his parents?
Because I used to want to sleep in between my parents in the bed for, you know,
probably too old.
Because you were afraid of the dark or what?
Yeah, I was just scared to be alone.
Scared to be alone.
Scared to be alive, probably.
Being alive and being a human, Foal, is a tough thing to wrap your head around.
Sure.
We all go through our day-to-day in these meat suits 24-7, asking ourselves the
tough questions, you know?
How do I do it?
Why should I do it?
And was Michelle Tanner really played by two people on Full House?
Is that a theory?
It's a conspiracy theory.
Okay.
But it's now been confirmed by Coulier.
I follow Dave Coulier on X.
Shout out to Coulier.
Shout out to Coulier.
But, yeah, I think that as you get older, Foal, you want to try to make sure
you get distance.
Because that's how you grow, is when you separate from anything.
But, look, I slept with my parents recently in the same bed, in the same
sleeping bag, to be honest with you.
That's a big sleeping bag.
You all fit in there?
Yeah, it's a big sleep.
It's more of a tent bag.
Sure.
Which is what my wife calls my cock.
We can edit that out or keep it in.
I don't fucking care.
She's not watching.
That's going to be the clip.
That's going to be the clip.
She calls my cock a tent bag.
And we bought it at REI.
Use the promo code to be right back.
My kids, they slept in my waterbed for about a year and a half until I said,
you're hogging the good part of the water.
Sure.
You know, my son was on the real squishy part.
And that's what, I get my best sleep when I feel like I'm in the Pacific Ocean.
Gotcha.
A waterbed, m