Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Joe Gatto!
Uploaded: 2024-09-18T23:00:20.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Joe Gatto!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Joe Gatto!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-09-18. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Joe Gatto!

Hold on there, gang. New York City, New York, do yourself a favor. Come out to
the Gramercy Theater October 1st for the second edition of the AYG and Friends
show.
We had such a great time there in September. Come out and see the gang.
Yeah, we've invited some of our favorite and your favorite guests and friends
to come answer your garbage questions.
The Gramercy Theater, 10-1. All tickets available at RUGarbage.com. Do it.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RUGarbage, the show where you find out
if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RUGarbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out
that they grew up to be classy.
Yeah.
Just a big old piece of trash.
Garbage.
I'm your host, A. Trolley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back
here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She just bought an alligator.
Oh, wow. Good for her. That's okay.
Thought I was just keeping it in your room.
Mike O's is coming at you from right next to me, slightly amused this week.
He is the CEO of RUGarbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal
in the whole wide world.
Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, everybody? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate,
view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
Slash RUGarbage. You go over there and get all that bonus content, gang.
Yes, sir. And gang, we could not be more excited to have our incredibly, and I
mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time.
He is a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian, producer, author, and
podcaster.
And you might have seen him in, but not limited to, you got The View, you got
Rachel Ray, you got Good Morning America, Last Call with Carson Daly, Conan,
this past weekend, The Today Show, Late Night with Seth Meyers, The $100,000 Pyramid,
The Kelly Clarkson Show, The Misery Index, 50 episodes of that, Taste Buds, 12
Monkeys, MacGyver, Clerks 3.
He is also one of the founding members of the worldwide sensation, the juggernaut
that is the impractical jokers.
He's out on his own, doing his own thing, like a young Sammy Hagar.
Taking him to the streets.
He's got an amazing podcast you can listen to every week, Two Cool Moms.
He also has Joe Gatto, Gatto Pups and Friends.
It's a senior dog rescue out there on Long Island.
The guy's a goddamn philanthropist.
Goddamn hero.
He's got a brand new children's book out right now, Where's Barry, and that's
out on Penguin Random House.
That's a top shelf operation over there.
That ain't self-published, dog.
Uh-uh.
He's got on tour right now.
You can get tickets at joegattoofficial.com, and he's got a brand new special
out right now on YouTube, messing with people.
Give it up for the one and the only, Joe Gatto, everybody.
I'm exhausted just by that.
By that list, I'm just exhausted.
Busy man.
I'm busy, man.
He's a worker.
Congrats on the children's book.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Where's Barry, man?
I'm super excited about that.
It's fun.
It was fun to do a kid's book.
I love it.
That's so great.
I already self-published one.
Did you?
I did The Dog Father, My Love of Desserts, Dog Desserts, and Growing Up Italian.
That was self-published.
Amazon.
You could get that one.
But that was all like-
I made them an offer they couldn't finish.
There's definitely some typos in that one.
This is my dog.
Oh, like dog.
D-G-O.
Damn, I'll go back to the-
Nobody will catch it.
That's funny.
And congrats on the special.
Yeah, man.
Messing with people.
800-pound gorilla?
Yeah.
That's awesome.
That's awesome.
I loved it.
It was really fun to do.
It's hard, you know, because when you tour for-
I toured for two and a little bit over two years with that hour, and then when
it's over,
you're not like-
You don't want to just throw it away.
Sure.
Sure, yeah.
You don't want to have the opportunity to have the opportunity to make a
special is really-
That's awesome.
And he brought us cookies.
He brought-
Nice guy.
He brought gifts.
Yeah, you don't come to a-
It was punctual.
He brought gifts.
What more do you need?
Took the first cookie, though.
You know, I want people to be shy.
Some people are like, oh, you know, oh, we'll get them later.
And I tried to put them in the kitchen.
He's like, what are you doing?
Bring those over here.
We got things to do.
We got something to talk about.
You're also one of those dudes that we just met you for the first time not too
long ago.
Obviously, we have a lot of mutual friends, but we had never crossed paths.
And then I'm standing outside the comedy club, and he turns the corner.
He goes, I'm parking now.
And then he turns the corner with you like your old high school buddies.
He's like, ah, you guys got each other in headlocks, giving each other noogies.
I'm like, I just talked to you 35 seconds.
Where the hell did you meet Joe Gatto?
Just one of the best.
Yeah.
One of the best, man.
Give us the backstory.
Give us the origin story of Joe Gatto.
Geeky Italian gig growing up was that.
I used to make tests for my father, but open up the Encyclopedia Britannica's
and make
multiple choice questions for my dad.
He would come home from his 10-hour workday selling life insurance, and I'd be
like, pop
quiz, bitch.
All questions have to do with the letter E.
So it was the worst.
No dinner until he'd take the SATs.
Was he good at it?
My dad was.
Well, I was, yeah.
I mean, I was in fourth grade, so I hope he was the vice president of a company.
I hope he was all right.
What did I have for breakfast this morning?
Then I, you know, I dabbled in magic after that.
Really?
Yeah, I did some magic.
You're a lady killer.
I was going to look out, like, hey-oh, hi-oh.
Wonder why I didn't lose it until he was 22.
But I did that, and then I got into creative writing.
So that was really the first way I got into, like, storytelling and
entertainment.
Sure.
At what age were you doing magic?
And what was the big trick at the time?
Did you have?
What was, like, I got your notes on it.
I got cards.
I had a card trick thing.
But I had the, I don't know if you guys know, you might know this, because I
noticed that
you've got a good collection of toys here.
It was the Fisher Price Magic Suitcase.
Yes.
Yes, I remember that.
So it had, like, the little thing, and the big trick from it in the front was
there was
three colored little compartments, and you'd take one of the balls, you'd put
it in the
front.
In the back, it was open.
You could slide it over, and you'd open the right side.
But it was made out of plastic, so when you slid it, you would just hear it go,
shh,
here we go.
Pay no attention.
You got to call.
I'd have to talk over it.
But, yeah, so I had that thing.
I actually just was on the road, and I was doing some teaking.
I pop into a store, and it was-
Is that Anteaking?
Anteaking, yeah.
I've never heard that.
I was doing some teaking.
Trying to make it sound cool.
I thought it was a new drug you were doing.
You know what?
I borrowed that term from Q. Q was a big teaker.
We hit the road.
We'd be in Portland teaking.
So we would- I found it, and I bought it, and I brought it home to my kids, and
I was
so unimpressed.
Yeah, I was like, what the hell is this?
Hunk of plastic.
I know.
We wanted a PlayStation 5, man.
I'm like, guys, the ball.
Where did it go?
Who was in the house growing up?
Your brothers, sisters?
Two older sisters.
I'm the younger boy.
My mom and dad.
And what'd your dad do?
My dad was a life insurance salesman for U.S. life insurance.
And then my mom would stay at home until I was in eighth grade, and she became
the secretary
of my school.
I went to Santa Daubert, so a Catholic school.
And she was the-
In the principal's office.
It was in the principal's office, and she was the only- it was all nuns.
And my mom, so whenever, like- when you got in trouble in that school, they put
you in
the lobby, and you had to, like, face the corner, like, one of those things,
one of those
embarrassment things.
And my mom was the only person that wore heels in the whole building, because
it was all
nuns and then men, right?
So they were wearing their flats, their isotoners.
And here it comes.
Like, I would hear my mom, like, a shark in the water, like, click, click,
click, and
then I'd hear it come quick, like, click, click, click, click, click, and she'd
grab me
by the scruff of my neck.
We'd be in a Catholic high, St. Adalbert's Catholic Grime School.
She'd be like, you're dead.
When we go home, I'm going to beat you to death.
You're an embarrassment.
You're embarrassing me.
Mom, pick a car.
Come on.
Embarrassing a mom at a Catholic school, yikes.
You're in for it.
Yeah.
And your dad worked in the city, I assume, right?
Dad worked on Maiden Lane, and by a crazy turn of events.
In Staten Island?
No, in the city.
In Manhattan.
In Manhattan.
I had a crazy turn of events.
We were filming for Jokers, and the call sheet came, and it was Maiden Lane,
and I went,
and it was my dad's old building.
Oh, shit.
Years later, I was like, I know what?
What do I know around here?
And it was his old building, because I used to go sometimes with him during the
summer.
That's awesome.
So did he take public transportation and get in?
He did.
He did.
Then he got that vice president money.
They gave him a Buick LeSabre, and Dad was driving, and he was driving.
Shout out to the LeSabre.
I love that LeSabre, man.
That's a good American car right there.
That was nothing like a company car back in the day.
No, he loved it, man.
When your dad or your uncle would get a new company car.
Bench seats.
AC worked perfectly.
Yeah, it was great.
Now they're all like Ford Fusions, and they're all very tiny.
Anybody that I know that does sales has a tiny Ford Focus or something.
They're looking for the mileage.
My uncle had a Cutlass for a little while with the wire wheels.
Was he a pimp?
Yeah, he was in sales.
He's in sales.
He's a good people person, that guy.
Yeah, that's great.
Okay, all right.
And what was the grocery store your mom went to growing up?
Pathmark down the street.
Pathmark.
Yeah, it graduated to a Top Tomato.
We got a Top Tomato down in Mariners Harbor.
That's the most Staten Island shit I've ever heard.
Top Tomato.
Yeah, you could go the long way.
Is it spelled tomato?
T-M-A-T-A.
And then you had to go right next to the Big Apple Bazaar, and you had to go,
if you went
up Harbor Road, you had to make the right on the Forest Avenue, or you could
cut through
the woods, which we used to do.
We used to cut through the woods and carry our groceries back to the woods.
Yeah.
Like the hill people.
Yeah, we are.
That's crazy.
Top Tomato, authentic Italian supermarket and catering.
Shout out to Top Tomato.
Top Tomato.
My grandfather.
Damn, that's a good time.
Look at that.
My grandfather was into me.
Garlic bread for breakfast.
Yeah, you want bruschetta loops?
Yeah, my grandfather was the tomato guy in Staten Island.
Really?
Yeah, he was.
He really was.
Amada Tomato Brothers Incorporated was my grandfather.
Amada Tomato.
Man.
He worked at the market down in Manhattan in the U.S.
He was supposed to supply all the Staten Island with tomatoes.
No kidding.
Yeah.
Where would he get them from?
He made that tomato money.
He imported them.
From Italy?
Yeah.
Were they Sam Marzano's?
That's a good question.
I do not know.
Okay.
What?
Do you know Sam?
Girl, what is his brother?
You got a friend of yours?
Yeah.
No, I didn't know them, but yeah, my grandfather cashed out on that money.
He became a millionaire and just moved to California.
Left everybody behind.
Yeah, he sold it.
No kidding.
So he invented a machine that sorted tomatoes.
The tomato sorter, yeah.
He was like a weird inventor guy, and he would just cut separate.
He had separate holes on a conveyor belt and three 