Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: New Cuisines w/ Paul Virzi!
Uploaded: 2024-10-13T23:00:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: New Cuisines w/ Paul Virzi!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: New Cuisines w/ Paul Virzi!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-13. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: New Cuisines w/ Paul Virzi!

Gang, we're back in the New York groove, baby.
We're going to be doing another installment of Are You Garbage and Friends
November 8th at Chelsea Music Hall, and it's going to be a fun one.
Yeah, we got Sam Murrell, we got Francis Ellis, and Mike Cannon
all there to play AYG with you guys.
All tickets available at RUGarbage.com.
Limited tickets. It's going to sell out. We'll see you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians,
and we find that if they grow up to be classy,
or just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She's upstairs reading her new book.
Okay.
The Kama Sutra.
Freaky.
Table for one, please.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is the chicken parm hero.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
What up, everybody?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, re-subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
And obviously, the greatest website of all time,
www.patreon.com slash are you garbage.
Go over there and get all that bonus content, gang.
Yes, sir.
And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly,
and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today.
He is a fan favorite, Mr. Class.
And he's got a brand new special out right now on his YouTube page,
Reasonable Man.
And the word on the street, this is his best work ever.
Give it up for the one and the only, Mr. Paul Verzi, everybody.
There he is.
Mr. Verzi.
Coming out swinging.
No place I'd rather be than fucking back here with you two.
I've been waiting for it.
Where the fuck is the invite been?
I mean, how about it was...
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
What, I got to do a special every year to be honest with you?
Don't do that Italian bullshit.
You know you can...
You don't call no more.
Yeah, right.
I got to do 60 minutes on stage.
That costs 50 grand a fucking year to come out here.
I got to take a fucking loan out to be on this show every fucking year.
Henry Hill when he got out of prison, no invites to Paul Lees anymore.
No one's touching me no more.
My age is going to be like, why are you doing another one so quick?
I'm going to fucking do all your garbage.
If you don't return my text messages unless I got a new special.
I got to show him.
I got to turn in my fucking Lexus before I do this fucking thing again.
Buddy, congrats.
Thank you, man.
Brand new special, Reasonable Man.
It's on your YouTube page, Den Theater, Chicago.
Dude, it was fantastic.
Yeah?
It was fantastic.
And this one, you know, I kind of did the streaming thing before.
You know, 2018, I did Comedy Central.
Sure.
2022, I did Netflix.
And I kind of just saw what was going on and you got to play that game.
You put it out and you got to like, you know, you put, you do it and then be,
oh, there's
so-and-so and this takes long.
You know, Comedy Central took me a year and a half for them to play it once.
Paul Verzi don't wait around, baby.
I was excited for their fucking midnight premiere that they played once.
I had family members die before they saw that fucking thing.
I got a goddamn mortgage to pay for here.
What are we doing?
And then, and then listen, Netflix, I can't say anything bad about Netflix.
Netflix was great to me.
They really took my, you know, just took my brand and took my comedy to another
level
and I have to, but I just started seeing it as just like, it's the same thing.
It's like, it comes out and then a week later, another one comes out a week
later.
And then after six weeks, it's better.
You got to tell people the same thing.
And I was like, the one thing that I was lacking, I felt like, was like, why
don't
you build your own channel?
Why don't you really?
So we just revamped the channel.
I'm going to put the Comedy Central and the Netflix on the channel eventually.
Great.
There you go.
Reasonable Man is cooking right now.
And then all the podcast stuff.
But it's risky.
You know, you're scared because you're like, I put my own money up and I'm
doing this all
grassroots.
And, you know, I'm fucking knocking doors.
You got to run that by the missus before you, before you drop that check?
A little bit?
No, no.
She knows we had it.
She knows we had it.
You're not going to miss it.
I said I'm stupid.
I ain't poor.
All right?
I'll do a Christmas gig.
What are you worried about?
I'll do a Christmas gig.
Yeah, I'll fucking get on a horn with somebody.
Get on the horn.
Get UBS.
I'll do a fucking Christmas for UBS.
It's a weekend in Nashville.
We'll have it back.
Don't worry.
So, but I got to be honest.
I didn't know.
And the risky thing was, I was like, I'm not doing this shit on 800 pound.
I'm not doing it with all these companies.
He's named the names.
Shout out to Mr. Verzi.
He came in with a chip on his shoulder.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
Listen, I love, listen.
They were all, they were, no, no.
They were all nice.
I got your fucking 800 pounds.
No, no, no.
It's like after the christening, everyone's getting whacked.
Some guy's getting a massage.
He's got a bullet through his eye.
I don't care where you got it.
Take it back.
They'll get it out of here.
Dude, all the heads of these comedy production companies are showing up dead.
Verzi specials just came out.
No.
Tubi ain't going to see them no more, huh?
Who's the CEO of Veep?
Quibi.
Get that brick from Crackle on the phone.
So, you know, we just, I was like, you know what?
I'm going to just build my shit.
There you go.
So we did it.
And one of my favorite comments, though, one dude goes, I'm a few minutes in
and I just
screamed, Verzi don't miss.
And like, dude, like, he's banging in the shower.
I don't like looking at comments, but when it just pings and it's like, hey, 10
out of 10
instant classic.
I don't know how it's his best one or this is his best one.
So, like, all of that stuff and hearing that.
That's great.
And people saying classic.
Even a hater was like, Verzi's throwing up.
A hater goes.
I hate this fucking guy, but comedy's comedy, daddy-o.
You know when I knew I was onto something?
I knew reasonable.
I knew I made the right decision with reasonable and I knew I was onto
something when somebody
goes, hilarious, but like, is the sound all right?
Like, they started looking for shit and I was-
Weird lighting choice.
Should've wore a tie.
What was the catering that night?
You know?
These fucking guys want to know what's on the table, but I'm just, listen, one
day in,
I'm thrilled with the comments.
I'm glad people like it.
It's free.
Please subscribe and just check out Reasonable Man.
Of course.
I will say this.
My agent called me up and he said, I promise you, this is your best work.
I love it.
Because you never know.
Like, you never, like, you know, I know I'm a better comedian than I was two
years
ago, but you just do that.
And now, like, the fact that people are just like, this is so fun.
I'm watching it again.
I love it.
This is like, this feels special, special.
That made me feel good.
That's great.
I love it.
One of the best, Paul.
You know we love you.
I do.
You're welcome back anytime, once a year, as long as it falls in that 12-month
period.
Luke, if you don't book me next week, we're done.
You mentioned the green room.
Do you have a specific, when you're on the road, do you like to have certain
things in
there?
I used to open up for Mr. V. He likes something like quesadilla.
Well, do a quesadilla beforehand.
But here's the deal.
If the quesadilla comes in, it's got to be light cheese, and it's got to be
extra chicken.
Okay?
I can't have the flat with the cheese.
I mean, what am I, a 10-year-old?
But no, you know what?
To answer the question, I need a water, and the one thing that I do want is a
sugar-free
Red Bull.
Okay.
Water and sugar-free Red Bull.
I don't even need food.
Nothing.
I mean, if I'm really-
If there's a menu, I'll take a look.
Listen, I'm not, you know, if there's a menu, I'll take a look.
You're not going to say no to a Baravian pretzel.
But like, I do the Italian thing.
I like call the waitress over and whisper, like, is there something worth it or
not?
Listen, if you were here, what would you get?
Yeah, I'm like, listen, dude, if your son came in here, what does he get?
He's doing that at a comedy club.
Can I get something off the menu?
What's the catch of the day here?
You're in a fucking improv at a mall.
You hand her a ball of piranha.
Did the halibut come in last night?
Are these dry scallops?
I don't want that wet shit.
I want day boat.
Yeah, I'm in an attic in Maryland.
I'm like, how's the catfish?
I don't think I've ever had catfish, to be honest with you.
I remember you would always see people fishing for it off bridges, like where I
grew up.
And I remember my dad being like, what are they doing?
Because they eat dead shit.
They come out with a gun in their hand.
Fuck that.
Dude, it's hard to eat something with whiskers, dude.
Fucking handlebar mustache.
I feel like you're eating somebody from Deadwood.
Get out of here with that.
Plus, they hurt you, too.
I know, they got a spike and they sting you.
I don't know what's going on.
My dad always said, you got to watch a catfish.
They slap you.
They give you a fucking backhand with their tail.
It's like a big, I think it's a big soul food thing, too.
They fry them.
They bread them and all that.
Yeah, yeah.
A little cornmeal.
I wouldn't say no to that.
I'm a flounder man, to be honest with you.
Soul food goes to another level.
It starts normal.
It's like ribs and it's like mac and cheese.
But then they do like oxtail, like pig feet and shit.
I can't.
Nah.
I want to try oxtail soup.
Reggie was telling me about it.
Reggie Conquest.
He has a place that he goes to.
I've been wanting to try it.
I think I can do it.
I think you can put your mind to it.
You can get there, big guy.
I think you can visit Brooklyn one day.
That's my promise for 2025.
I'm going to get that oxtail soup.
You could do that in an hour.
Uber Eats will have it here in 35 minutes, dude.
What are you talking about?
I think I can do it.
What's going on at the house these days?
It's the fall.
Are we decorating for Halloween?
Are you raking leaves?
No.
Are you raking leaves?
I got that problem now.
It ain't good.
No, everything's good.
The kids are back at school.
But, dude, I'm like now their ages, you know, Lucas 15, Sophia 12.
I'm like Uber driver.
And I love it, but it's like their games.
And they're good athletes, so there's practices.
It's a lot of shit.
Dude, can I tell you something?
I never thought – so my daughter is the soccer player.
They both play basketball.
My son's exceptional in basketball.
My daughter, great at basketball, but her game is soccer.
She just got into volleyball, right?
And I don't – dude, I'm not even joking, dude.
Those girls are nuts.
Dude, if you haven't been to a fucking –
It's like rugby inside.
It's crazy.
Every point.
Every point is either devastation or you just won the Super Bowl.
I looked at my buddy.
I said, dude, I can't emotionally – I'm not joking.
I can't emotionally do this.
Yeah, it's too much.
It's a girl screaming, crying, and they all huddle up after a thing.
When they're losing, they're crying.
When they're winning, they're hugging.
They're slapping each other.
I bet parents are going nuts.
The other day – yesterday I yelled,
ball, don't lie to the fucking guy standing on the –
the guy standing on the thing because when it hits the ceiling,
it doesn't count.
You know it could hit the ceiling and fucking fuck it up,
and it still doesn't matter?
And I'm like – and I just got pissed off,
and I thought that they took a point