Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Kohl's Cash w/ Kippy & Foley!
Uploaded: 2024-10-23T23:00:13.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Kohl's Cash w/ Kippy & Foley!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-23. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Kohl's Cash w/ Kippy & Foley!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-23. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Kohl's Cash w/ Kippy & Foley!

hang on a second there gang new york city in the great state of connecticut are
you garbage and
friends is coming your way we're bringing some of our favorite guests from the
show to answer your
garbage questions yeah we're gonna be at chelsea music hall on november 8th in
new york city
and then uh november 22nd we're gonna be in stanford connecticut all tickets
available at
are you garbage.com we want to see you there gang it's mint mobile time baby
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cement mobile for details yeah welcome to another exciting edition of are you
garbage the show where
you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute
trash now here are your
hosts kevin ryan and h foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to
everybody's favorite podcast
this is are you garbage oh yeah it's that little show we sit down with your
favorite comedians and we
find it after you're to be classy yeah they're just a big old piece of trash
garbage i'm your host
age fully coming at you on a chilly day out back here at tooties in a new
edition broad hasn't turned
the goddamn heat on i'm freezing out here cold as shit in here i'll tell you
this though wait for dinner
tonight rayo's frozen pizza just hit the market and boy are we excited here at
tooties
my coast is coming at you from across the table it's what we call a family
episode just the boys
the bozos and the homies he is the ceo of are you garbage he is an
international businessman and my
best pal in the whole wide world give it up for kj kevin james ryan what up
everybody thanks for
tuning in as always please make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes full
video available on
youtube then obviously the greatest website of all time www.patreon.com slash
are you garbage you go over
there get all your bonus content needs gang yes sir um wanted to ask you this
okay okay this guy
fucking double clutching over here talk about shifting gears hachi machi i'm
broadcasting here
okay my cousin hit me up about this god money what are they what are they
hitting you up for now
do you what a button down shirt on normally like a regular shirt no i don't
have the body to do that
it doesn't get over the butt it doesn't get over the belly i do it all the what
are you talking about
you can't pull a button you can't have a button down shirt buttoned and put it
over top of you
no like a t-shirt no i do that all the time that's great i just actually
watched you do it out there
now that i think about yeah i'm not well i got shit to do i'm not wasting time
i'm buttoning
that's already buttoned that's great that's it that's what aliens do that's
that's how that's
how aliens think they fit in and when they're here on earth dude that's crazy
yeah for sure because
i dry them buttoned i dry my button down shirt i don't have that many button
down shirts i got a lot
of them short sleeves mine don't button most of them i keep them you know more
of a blazer
put a pair of shoulder pads in that shirt call it a day uh does that button uh
probably but it's too
tight not like comfortably none of my stuff buttons comfortably yeah this will
button it's that but it's
that it's this button that like second from the bottom boobs are popping out
the second from the
it's a bustier i got going on here oh yeah the second from the second from the
bottom is where the
fucking rubber hits the road that's where a lot of the girth on me is i'm what
they call pear
more of an avocado the good fat um yeah no so i don't uh i i used to i've never
done that in my
life that i'm too that wrinkles too quick on me what do you mean if i know i
putting it on
like that yeah it would all get crunch crunched up here that's very big and
loose fitting on you
that shirt that's not thank you for the compliment it's a fucking 9x it should
be
i'm going 90s baby uh um yeah no i i wouldn't do that that was always uh i try
not to button still
the second i button something it's all crinkle crinkle i'm saying a button down
shirt that you
gotta wear buttoned never i've never done that in my life that's trashy to do
that i don't think it's
classy i think the classy thing as a gentleman would be to fucking take it's in
a perfect world
it's dry cleaned you take it out of that plastic which i don't like that
plastic that gives me the
willies gives me the epg makes my blood run cold thinking how much are they
spending on hangers too
over there to dry cleaners give you a free hanger what is it sometimes the nice
ones i love our
customers or whatever that was the big one i remember that was the first time i
realized that like
i thought that was just at earl's cleaners i thought that's just what earl's
was throwing out
and then i saw one in jersey i'm like you go to earl's too or whatever
ah that's all right that's uh my sister worked at uh dry cleaners my sister did
yeah what
yeah i ain't korea town that's a weird summer job for a young lady i don't
think it was a summer job
that was all the girls they would like work the counters that's like you know
who owned it
uh i don't know it's called suzy q cleaners fair enough uh i guess suzy q but i
think there was a
couple locations it was right next to the hair cuttery when they they redid the
they redid the
shopping center you know it was like an old shopping center old suburban like
just the straight strip
mall love it right anchor on the end was a super fresh they had a they had a phil's
i believe it was
phil's shoes epic video a right aid they got a back room at that uh epic video
they did that was my
first back room uh foray my buddy matt showed i didn't know what it was he's
like over here i said
what the heck are those talk about gazangas that was the storeroom uh yeah then
then um
she worked at a dry cleaner yeah and some chemicals are no good for a young
person i don't think
i don't reason all that she wasn't doing that she was just at the front still
around it but some
dude came in with a set of drawers with a big old duke in them a poop yeah he
had shit his pants
and they came in a plastic bag and i remember my sister being like i'm not
fucking touching them
that was gotta run that through the wash first you trash them what are you
talking about if they're
bad enough that you got them airtight in a hefty bag you can't be having other
people clean that mess
but that's a big thing he kind of gets a load out of there at least that's a
big thing i think
a bigger big enough that i remember somebody else said that i was talking to
someone else i worked
in a dry cleaner too they said that happened folks if you just shit your pants
come on down to suzy q's
get you get you set up feel like it never happened a fresh pair of drawers on
you
uh yeah the very pants he was returning i think yikes yeah and i remember that
was like that guy
puts a button down shirt on that guy don't own a button down shirt he's got a
nice pair of pants
uh had uh yeah and i remember like my i remember my sister being like they
weren't even like it was
just like a pair of dockers or so it wasn't even like a pair of european pants
or something like
that that you're like there's a certain threshold cavaricis i understand there's
a certain
threshold of dollar amount where you're like i gotta try to clean these but you
do that in the tub at home
or something let them soak for a little for sure that's crazy to be like hey i
just shit my pants
also how long were they at the house that's like did he shit his pants and go
right to the dry
cleaner was he in his underwear when he walked in i don't think so yeah that
was that was her job
can you have these ready in an hour that was her job and we never went there i
remember my dad was
very anti-susie q he was an earl's man uh-huh uh then so we never he got
everything dry cleaned
yeah it was well dyed his jeans he did everything everything every time i gotta
stop by the dry
cleaner who do we fucking owe you money every day we're at the dry cleaners on
the way to school on
the way home from school stopping at fucking earl's i was right next to a wild
weasel so you fucking
top off with a 16 ounce cup of joe maybe i grab myself a sizzly
he's a heavy starch man i assume right oh starch it up we had that starch spray
did you ever have
that it was like a can of spray paint spray and starch spray and start scotch
off or something
like that scotch guard that'll fuck you i don't know what that you run out of
beers that'll set
you straight that'll take the edge off i think it was yeah saving money i
remember we had to spray
yeah spray and starch he'd be hitting stuff up yeah can you iron do you know
how to iron pretty good i
when i said when i when i had to work at macy's i had to iron you did what oh
you had iron your clothes
yeah my suit i wear a suit every day you weren't i thought you were ironing
there no i had i had to
wear a suit every day so i had to i had to make sure i would just do the front
of the shirt too
because that was the only thing exposed of course and i had that little fucking
dorm room i was in
college i had that little dorm room thing like tape like the little dorm room
little ironing board
yeah it only goes up like three it's like a little skim board or something it
stinks i think you're
eating in a japanese joint sitting there indian style yeah i hated that so i i
learned how to
iron it and same thing when i would wear button-ups button-ups became cool in
high school
once uh jay-z stopped wearing jerseys and started wearing button-ups this is
probably too
and usher this is i've seen the photos yeah so that way you didn't quite pull
it off the same as jay-z
did you what your bars were a lot weaker too i remember not knowing why mine
weren't cool
and because i was buying i was buying i was buying all the coals you can see
your blue t-shirt
yeah but i was buying them at coals because i was to me that was at the time i
didn't know anything
about anything and my mom shopped at coals and i didn't know there was like i
didn't realize at
that point that coals was you know not the highest end of fashion does that
make sense i don't know
if i would say that well you should because it's the truth as a high school kid
or a college kid
of trying to be cool coals isn't the place you're going for if i was trying to
dress like a rapper
i wouldn't go there you know what i mean if i was trying to dress like a
construction worker going
to like a graduation party that's where you go sure that's where money in the
envelope that's a
couple ious a couple of you always go classic with button downs you go arrow
all right you go polo
i couldn't afford polo what about