Name: Are You Garbage & Friends #2: Dan Soder | Yannis Pappas | Ian Fidance | Stand Up Comedy
Uploaded: 2024-10-30T00:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage & Friends #2: Dan Soder | Yannis Pappas | Ian Fidance | Stand Up Comedy' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage & Friends #2: Dan Soder | Yannis Pappas | Ian Fidance | Stand Up Comedy' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-10-30. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage & Friends #2: Dan Soder | Yannis Pappas | Ian Fidance | Stand Up Comedy

can i say something sure i mean this respectfully you sound like you have a job
that is only in porn
you're like i have to come by and make sure the associates
are up to date i have to listen to all the calls
you've got a lot of holes to fill i'm stuck in the washer you were a bad
associate
are you my step-mom do you get stuck in stuff a lot
i am bringing out the hosts of are you garbage h foley and kevin ryan
are you guys ready to get this thing started give it up for one of our best
pals
hey fellas hey shmian how are you so just so you guys know we have the mic back
there because we
want everybody to hear how garbage you are so if we call your name pop up to
the mic and we'll go from
there sound good all right where's uh ashkahn what's up buddy how are you good
thanks for coming you mind
popping back to the mic real quick so everybody can hear you we just said that
it's jack yeah good looking kid what's his name ashkahn is your first name that's
my first name yeah huh
what nationality is that persian security
well that's all the time for the show folks thank you
what's your last name eskandari huh well it wasn't gonna be jenkins
what was the last vacation you went on teyron
hey jokes aside i was born in teyron true story you were born really nice oh my
goodness
i was in uh i was in san diego last weekend and who'd you go there with just
six friends to get a
pilot's license
it's a goddamn family show ian yeah we should have no we should have not opened
with you
i was against it no don't smoke up
that just cost me 10 grand
want one no i don't i got an ashtray all right well we'll do it later everybody
relax
what the dude who do you think you are dave chapelle you can immediately light
up
let me break it down for y'all do you have a car do not have a car i have not
driven a car for nine
years you haven't driven a car in nine years no driver's license don't want a
paper trail
at least you know he can't rent a u-haul
what's the
that's why they call him the big man what neighborhood do you live in uh gramercy
all right this kid's got a little bit of cash on him what'd your parents do uh
mom's a nurse uh
pops entrepreneur okay your dad did well no no what the is this 20 questions
have you seen the show
i thought we were gonna be like you ever use a sock to wipe your ass or
something like that
that's pretty good you ever use a sock to wipe your ass i think ian did today
then just so you know they did run out of toilet paper in the bathroom
well his question is are you garbage if your dad called the cops on you because
you called sprint and pretended to be the account holder so you could get your
cell phone line turned
back on that's pretty good to be fair i think somebody edited it because i got
kicked out and
escorted out of the house by the police for he actually took you you got taken
away not taken
away but i got escorted out of the house that's taken away let's take it away
yeah i don't know
where dude i don't know what they do in tehran but that's taken away that's
like being a being
a hoarder and be like no i'm a collector let's be honest give her a round of
applause everybody
uh where's samantha carmen at carmen yes how are you i'm good how are you who
are you here with love
my husband very nice how long you guys been married uh two and a half years
nice and where
did you get married what what type of venue uh we got married at an like uh
historic inn in maine
oh did did you have like a bed and breakfast there too yeah it was like a bed
of breakfast style was it
haunted was your scary ghost there yeah do you have a cat did you guys build a
fort in the room
i'm ian ian i creep everyone out can i smoke in here do i look like your sleep
paralysis demon
okay was there a honeymoon there uh yeah we went to chile to where chile shut
the fuck up
you went to chile you just said chile like as in the chileys in midtown manhattan
yeah
or the country chile you just pronounced the country chile as chile is that the
proper pronunciation
chile i mean i hope so yeah if you're a white chick named samantha i mean it's
called chile and this
is america all right chile that's i i admire your courageousness to pronounce
it like that in front
a room full of strangers that's crazy and and did you do any did you do a any
any rock climbing or ropes
courses while you were in chile we we uh did the like famous patagonia you hike
you hiked on your
that is a horrible yeah that's stupid yeah was there an open bar at least what
the was it your
fucking uh uh what do they call it outward bound no the trip that you take
after you get married
honeymoon yeah that's what we just said all right hey check in over here will
you all right and we'll
fucking edit this and make this was it a honeymoon or the amazing race
that was pretty good very good thank you thank you he stinks but we love him
you went hiking on your honeymoon for part of it it was two weeks so we hiked
for four days and then
a four-day hike i'd kill myself that would have killed me our tour a four-day
hike
what kind of work do you do i work for the government ashkahn run
what do you do for the government uh i work in like data analysis data analysis
and what about the
hubby what does he do he's a personal trainer oh damn is he here apologize for
chitting on your
wife stand up wow he's huge holy chile is a wonderful country i'm so glad you
got to experience
that ian wouldn't mind climbing that mountain huh how you doing oh i'll bring
along a sherpa
well her question is have you ever washed your feet in a bidet
very cultured you are chile my ass
what the letter here one time one time for samantha everybody
where is uh chad coble what's up brother how are you good good how are you good
thanks for coming
who you here with my girlfriend very nice where did you guys meet online okay
oh what site yeah bumble
say what you want the kid's funny i don't know what you're paying and who's
cutting the hair these
days uh a barber how much you dropping on a haircut uh about a hundred bucks
with tip really that's not a
barber that's just a lot well it's about 40 but then i take care of them really
sixty dollar tip
what are you doing for a living hotels that's not a living it's a living hotels
are you the monopoly
guy yeah you know boardwalk park i do building street sidewalks what do you do
with the hotel uh just
manage them stop being so yeah what the what do you want me to say wait hold on
so you manage multiple
hotels yes what which one different hotels i work for a hotel management
company marriott it makes
a difference we have marriott's we have hilton's we have ihg who's we the
company i work for okay so
you're the gm at a hotel multiple hotels all right you mentioned that i got you
hotel plural how much
you thank you it depends on the bonus oh
okay how's this can i get a discount at one of your hotels absolutely yeah i
like this guy can i smoke
in there and bring my cat of course well chad's question is it garbage to keep
your coat on even
though you're sweating because you don't want a coat check guy going through
your pockets yeah i'm not
sure if it's trash but you are one of the weirdest guys i've ever met in my
life yeah let him hear a
one time for chad guy dude he'll be he'll be great on my spinners show are you
odd am i weird with
being invited yo that's a good show uh all right we got time for one more where's
ashley h oh come
on ash why are you giving a big round everybody that's the answer you're
looking for okay full
disclosure my husband's an asshole and he sent you guys uh his like are you
garbage question already
he was like i already sent one so you have to send the other one so this
question is actually not me
it's him we got to talk to him then yeah that's you get up here come on up
there together yeah get
up there together maybe kiss make out something yeah i don't know if ashley's
garbage or not but
she's definitely a rat god damn she fucking sold you down the river what's up
boys i love your podcast
thank you so much thank you brother appreciate you what's your name bud my name
is sharif uh foley gave
me some restaurant recommendations for the weekend thank you so much i did did
you take up on any of them
we're going to ruby rosas later thank you he's never been there he's never been
there
you just got foley
that place sucks yeah check out sweet green the gym equinox
hold on to be fair i said gallagher's i said go to gallagher's i said go to uh
john's on bleaker
if you want pizza and i said the boys really like ruby rosa i haven't gone
because they told me i
wouldn't fit that's a true story it's a tight place i'm pushing 270 i hope i
get in there man you'll be
fine yeah tell him you know foley henry said me what you guys drove up from
florida is that right
i'm up in newark working for a month she came from florida okay oh well thank
you what do you what
kind of work do you do that you're working in newark for the month i'm a pilot
whoa all right wow fighter
no commercial pilot yeah yeah i fly uh seaplanes from the east river to the hamptons
get the
fuck out of here look at you for like rich people yeah i'm way richer than i am
i'm a poverty have you
ever taken anything from them well you should fuck the bourgeoisie
what the fuck is wrong with you what hey occupy wall street zip it
ian give me a definition of the bourgeoisie no we don't have time let's go
uh move along are you guys are you guys based down in florida yeah that's like
most of the
year in the bahamas no you fly from tampa to the bahamas port lauderdale bahamas
like four or five
times a day and what does the missus do i work for the government too what the
kind of crowd do you
guys have i don't know this is crazy i feel like this is this this is like the
last scene and
blow yeah i'm gonna turn around they're all just moving in on me you're gone
you're gone and then
i'm there no one's been here the whole time i like that you got a connection on
the inside shuffle the
paperwork around a little bit wait real smart lady what do you do for the
government ladies what's her name
what is it you do again with your smaller brain oh did you go to college coach
huh i apologize for
my idiot he said more like a little kid like hey lady your husband's a pilot
hey miss can i fly with
your husband and where they got you shacked up in uh in newark really shitty
neighborhood called hillside
i'm in the house with four news asbury park has some judgments yeah we don't
know what's so bad about
hillside i just bought i just bought a car nearby nearby though you bought a
car nearby but you're too
good for the name it's not this single guy here says it's not that bad it's hey
zillow can you check back
in over here what are the school districts like over there oh god are the
grocery stores nice yeah we
don't leave after dark wait hold on a second so wait wait they got you in a you're
with four other
pilots yeah we're in a company house they just rented like short-term housing
in hillside new is it a
reality show what happens when four pilots enter a house is she crap is she
crashing at the pilot house
right absolutely not well i mean i mean i this whole pilot class is it garbage
to show up to work with a
black eye you're flying private jets with a black eye yeah it happened last
month last month how'd you
get the black eye it's not a cool story i was doing jujitsu and i got head butted
but rich side note is
one of my favorite things he gets on the videos like with him doing jujitsu and
my favorite thing is for
him to get in really gay positions with my ass same with ian man your wife's a
yapper yeah
i'm telling all your business i love it when a guy gets them from behind and
makes him a little
bitch yeah my favorite moves the rear naked joke guys let them hear it one time
thank you so much
the freakiest couple in tampa and that's it for ian finance everybody
thank you guys so much let's uh let's get our next guest up here what do you
say let's do it buddy
ladies and gentlemen the one the only yann