Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Simple Man w/ Kippy & Foley!
Uploaded: 2024-11-04T00:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Simple Man w/ Kippy & Foley!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-04. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Simple Man w/ Kippy & Foley!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-04. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Simple Man w/ Kippy & Foley!

Can I say something?
Sure.
I mean this respectfully.
You sound like you have a job that is only in porn.
You're like, "I have to come by and make sure the associates are up to date."
I have to listen to all the calls.
He's got a lot of holes to fill.
I'm like, "I'm stuck in the washer."
You are a bad associate.
Are you my stepmom?
Do you get stuck in stuff a lot?
And the second installment of our new live show, AYG and Friends, is available
right now on our YouTube page.
Do yourself a favor, check it out.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that
to be classy.
Yeah.
Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition.
She's upstairs doing a little yoga.
Okay.
A little downward dog.
A little downward doggy style.
Mailman here again?
Mike Carlos is coming at you from across the tables.
We call a family episode.
Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
What up, everybody?
First of all, shout out.
Thanks for all the support.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Yes, sir.
The video available on YouTube, and obviously the greatest website of all time.
Go over there.
Pull out your desktop, not the mobile app.
Go to www.patreon.com/areyougarbage.
You get all your bonus content needs, gang.
Yes, sir.
Do yourself a favor.
Get over there on the YouTube page and check out the new AYG and Friends that
is currently
streaming.
You got Dan Soder, Yanni Papito, and our good pal, Mr. Ian Fadans.
Yes.
Good times.
I wanted to ask you this.
What?
I might have brought this up to you before.
I'm sure you have.
But it's kind of been getting thrown in my face a little bit.
First of all, I was...
This sounds like an attack of me, but I'm with it.
Let's go.
You got the new Carhartt jacket.
Which, hold on.
Let's put a pin on what you have.
I did get a new Carhartt jacket.
It's not a jean jacket.
It's not.
Whatever you want to...
Okay.
It's canvas.
All right.
I mean, it's not not a jean.
It's in the world of a jean jacket.
It's a jacket.
It's not made of denim.
I don't know why you're giving me...
You lying bastard.
I ordered it...
Whatever.
Here's the...
I got a thing.
I ordered it on jeans.com.
Just jeans.
Just jeans.
Just jeans.net.
This is jeans.
It said...
Listen, anytime a comedian wears...
It is a little more hard feelings, but we'll get into it.
Anytime a comedian wears something new, you would catch some shit for it.
Comedian?
Yeah.
I thought you were a news man.
You know what I mean?
Sure.
Anytime you wear a new article of clothing around to any of us, someone, you
know, you're
going to get a little razzed.
I got a little razzed.
And I know we have this thing.
I wore it for the first time.
Mm-hmm.
I got it.
It came in the mail.
I put it on.
Old Comedy Cellar that night.
Mm-hmm.
I put it on, and I bombed so bad.
I was in my head.
My wife said it's a little short.
I was all...
It's not a jean jacket!
Loser.
No.
Man, it was bad.
It was you.
He was watching, and you left.
It was that not great.
I was...
Oh, that night.
That night.
I was...
Dude, I pulled up my closer.
Woo!
Three minutes in, and I'm...
Dude, I was asking people if they were hiring.
I'm taking...
The hell...
I'm whiffing, dude.
That is the only way.
Man.
I peeked around the curtain to see if anyone was in there.
That's a skeleton on stage.
What are you doing?
Sound check?
What's going on?
Yikes.
It got away from me.
I got in my head about the new jacket.
'Cause I'd meet you out front for a heater before the set.
Go in and burn it like Frank Lucas.
Throw it right in the fire.
That's typically what I would do if I wear a new...
But you got back on the horse right away 'cause you wore that to our good
friend,
Mr. Adam Ray's show that we had down here in D.C.
I wore that in D.C.
Shout out to Dr. Phil.
No, it's actually...
This is a different one.
It was different.
Oh.
I was a little traumatized.
So I put it on the shelf, but I'm back where...
And I feel it's in my...
Would you do that if you bombed first time wearing something?
It don't matter what I wear.
I'm bombing.
Say that again?
You'll get a new article of clothing.
I'll try that.
Okay.
Which I got to.
Realize I'm talking to the wrong guy.
That one blue Hawaiian shirt.
I got to burn that.
And I got to get a haircut, man.
Somebody said you look like Glennie Balls.
Shout out to Glennie.
Shout out to Glennie Balls, by the way.
Shout out to Glennie B.
He wears them nice.
Hey, Don.
He looks great in them.
But it was very...
There's a very Glennie Balls look.
That new blue one you got.
It's electric.
It's old as shit.
Fuck you, what are you looking?
Just back into it.
I got to get rid of everything.
I got to get a haircut.
Multiple comics every night were like, "What are you doing?"
I know.
Just got away from me.
I've been telling you this for fucking months, but you don't listen to me.
You listen to people who aren't even your friends.
I like the way it looks in the back.
Okay.
But it's not...
It's not good.
But would you wear...
Would you wear new...
You bombed one time in it?
Do you put the mojo, the bad juju on that article of clothing and move forward?
Or do you get back up on the horse?
Nah, I think I wouldn't wear it again.
Yeah.
Well, I'll let you know how tonight goes.
I got an eight and a ten.
That's the one you wore last Thursday.
The one I saw you in on Saturday was different?
Yeah.
That's the problem.
You ordered like nine of the same thing.
What are you, Batman?
Like stop.
Get a little variety.
You have no clothes, dude.
What does the other one look like?
You either have a purple fucking polo hoodie or a neon blue fucking Hawaiian
shirt.
You only dress for two seasons.
I can flex, baby.
You're dressed for a fucking snowstorm or the beach.
I'm freezing, dude.
I got nothing.
I've been trying to cover everything up.
You wore the jacket I got you for fucking Christmas for the first time.
I've worn that yet.
That looked pretty good.
I can't wear that on stage.
We went to Joe List's movie premiere.
Yeah.
I wore that.
It looked nice.
Why?
It looked like I'm going to New York Fashion Week.
If you think that's what people are wearing at New York Fashion Week.
Well, it's real baggy.
Maybe the homeless edition.
It's real baggy and rolled up.
It looks good though.
I'd have to get a nice bag.
Nice cross body.
Some shoes.
Nice pair of glasses.
Some mom jeans and some, I don't know, Steve Madden's.
Whatever the girls are wearing these days.
Sure.
You know what's crazy?
Is SpongeBob released in a movie or something like that?
What?
Because he's everywhere.
I haven't talked to him in a while.
He's everywhere.
He won't return my calls.
They got the Krabby Patty at Wendy's and they also, they got something cooking
with that donut shop out in LA.
You know, with the donut on top.
Lenny's?
The one that Iron Man's left in.
Dirk's or whatever it's called.
I don't think it's Dirk's.
That's Young Dirk and he's teamed up.
Something.
Yeah.
He'd make a big press run.
Got a new movie coming out.
He does.
Yeah.
I prefer him as a guy.
He's actually a guy.
He's a fucking guy.
It's him and Jason Stratham.
What's the movie?
SpongeBob movie.
I mean, yes.
It's about SpongeBob and he's under fucking water and he gets out.
It's a search for the square pants.
That's pretty good.
Pretty good.
The multiverse.
H Foley, search for the round pan.
Fifty Shades of Square Pants.
I was watching that program in the hotel this weekend.
I can't believe kids.
That's really deep.
Yeah.
I don't think they're watching it for that.
There's a lot going on in that.
Okay.
And plus the.
They tackling all the hard political issues of the time.
The episode I saw, they showed the pirate and it was Antonio Banderas.
Yeah.
Not cashing that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
That guy Clancy.
What's his name?
Does that?
John Clancy.
No.
The spy.
No.
The guy who played the.
Gary Clancy.
No.
Gary Clancy Jr.
Gary Jeans.
The guy who played Hadley in Shawshank.
The security guard.
Okay.
He's the voice of Mr. Crabb.
We got a shit ton of voice over work.
That's what we got.
We got to get into voice over work.
Hey, everybody.
How you doing?
We kind of already are.
What?
That show.
What show?
The Fox show.
Whatever it is.
Okay.
Universal basic guys.
A.K.
Kippy and Foley.
I don't think I noticed that Fox.
My goddamn mother thought I sold a TV show.
She's all about it.
Holding out on me, you fat bastard.
I just have you saying lines.
What?
Well, you had some pressing issue.
I did.
I had two pressing issues.
One, so I was at the train.
The buttons on your pants.
I was at the train station grabbing a breakfast, Sammy, as one does, where I
hopped on the train.
Fat Court's going to be a burrito.
And I grabbed it.
All they had left was a hoagie.
That's all.
An egg hoagie.
That's all.
Was a sausage, egg, and cheese.
And I'm eating it.
I'm like, this tastes like an ashtray.
It was beef sausage.
Oh, smoked.
What's that all about?
What the fuck is beef sausage?
Yeah.
I've never in my life.
I've had hot dogs.
I'll be Franks.
Like a gentleman.
Sure.
You had that once.
Once you get jammed, they give you that.
Dude, it had those things in it.
You know, like the white things that are in it.
Yeah.
The fat piece.
It's like cartilage or whatever.
Man.
It's like a bad knee.
And they were like popping out.
It was weird.
Yeah.
And threw it away.
Goddamn line at Dunkin' Donuts is a fucking round of corner.
I got a train to catch.
Mm-hmm.
I got to get down to DC.
Hey.
No.
What I wanted to ask you was.
Okay.
This has been coming up a lot lately.
I don't know why.
I think it's the season.
But, and I think it's really trashy.
And I've never had a good experience with it.
Have you ever gotten the flight?
The flights?
A flight?
I never understood the flight of beer.
The little, or wine or whatever.
I mean.
They got big.
Flights of za.
Strange.
Just a different slice.
That's what we should be doing.
That's pretty good.
That I would do.
Yeah.
It's just called going to a pizza place.
Yeah.
I know.
I never got the flights.
The flights are big.
You go, they give you that.
I just, I'm like a creature of habit as you say.
I don't like, you like switching out.
I don't like just, and they're also too small.
I like switching out.
Yeah.
They are too small.
For some reason, they're always warm.
They never hit it.
Over on that fucking.
On like an easel.
Yeah.
On that like board game.
Yeah.
What are we doing here?
I feel like I'm playing.
What was that?
Noncala?
What was it?
Moncala.
Moncala.
That beaded board game.
Do you remember that?
No.
That's like Chinese checkers.
I never understood.
Or backgammon.
I mean, it's different than backgammon.
It's the same little things.
Moncala.
It got big with the girls.
Moncala.
Moncala.
It was like a wooden board.
It had beads.
Sounds like a new starlet.
And you put them in your little end.
Your little goal.
And you go around.
And you drop them.
And you pick them up.
And blah, blah, blah.
I never really got it.
My buddy's little sister played.
I always fake like I knew what was happening.
Trying to.
Yahtzee.
Nah, I never played that.
Yeah.
The little stones I get.
What's that?
Aren't they little stones?
Little like polished stones?
Yeah, they're like little jewels.
They look like sprees.
Ya, ya, ya.
Ya know what a spree is?
What am I?
I've been doing this program with you for like five years.
You like a spree?
I'll take a spree over a sweet tart any day of the week.
Except for them chewy ones.
Chewy sweet ta