Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Ralph Barbosa Returns!
Uploaded: 2024-11-25T00:00:08.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Ralph Barbosa Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-25. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Ralph Barbosa Returns!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-11-25. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Ralph Barbosa Returns!

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Now, let's get to the show.
Get to the show.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute
trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it
out to good
to be classy or to just a big old piece of trash.
Basura.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition.
She just stole a turkey for Thanksgiving.
Got a big one this year, Kippy.
You're going to love it.
Good for her.
All right.
Fair enough.
Fuck you.
My co-host is coming at me from right next to me, unamused this week.
Yeah.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world.
He signs the checks, baby.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
What up, everybody?
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com slash are you
garbage.
You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang.
Yes, sir.
Luke wrote the turkey bit.
I just want to tell you that.
That's why it stinks.
Son of a bitch.
Gang, that's either here nor there.
Because we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean
incredibly special guest
back with us again today.
He is a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian, podcaster now, and
amateur race car driver.
He's got a brand new podcast, the Fat Fish podcast, which you got to go check
out over there on YouTube,
wherever you get your podcasts.
It's absolutely fantastic.
Give it up for Mr. Ralph Barbosa, everybody.
You look like you're in disguise.
You look younger than you did last time you were here.
Yeah.
It's the glasses, it's the hair.
Something.
Maybe.
Yeah, I got a little Harry Potter action going on.
You do.
You do.
A Mexican Harry Potter.
I like it.
Yeah.
Harry Potter.
What's with the shades?
My vision is bad.
You wanted an answer.
Did you wear contacts before?
No.
I've always needed glasses.
Are you fucking kidding me?
I just couldn't afford them now.
Are you nearsighted or farsighted?
Can you see things far away?
No.
That's the one that I can't see things far away.
How old are you?
I'm 28.
You've been riding like that for 28?
You've been driving like that.
Yeah.
No, I've always gotten my glasses, but I'll have them for like two weeks and
then I'll lose
them.
Last time I was here, I was promoting the Netflix special.
So once that check came in, I bought like 10 pairs of glasses.
I was going to say, isn't it annoying for you?
Because when I don't know, Mike, I don't know how bad your vision is, but I got
bad.
I can't see shit.
And when I don't have them in, it's like I'm in my own world.
Nah.
I mean, I see enough.
Whatever I need to get by, dude.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm not like picky.
Sure.
I see stuff where I don't.
I'm not meant to see it.
I don't see it.
Yeah.
So you bought, you got the Netflix check.
Yeah.
That's one of the one things that we wanted to talk to you about.
You're big into, you were into cars before.
Yeah.
You're like relatively big into cars now.
Yeah.
It's gotten.
But you were making cash before the night.
You're selling out everywhere.
You're making cash on the road.
Well, yeah, I was making cash on the road, but I like when I came on here with
you guys
last year, I had only been on the road for maybe a year tops.
Sure.
So, yeah, I was still kind of, everything hit off kind of fast for me.
So this was your first big, big check.
Yeah.
And plus the cash that I was getting on the road, I was spending it very, very
stupidously.
Join the club, kid.
Yeah.
You got to go through that trial by fire.
Yeah.
You got to, if you've never had money, you got to learn how to.
Have it.
Have it.
Yeah.
Something.
Which I'm still.
I'm spending it.
I'm still learning it.
Yeah.
I got all them glasses.
You need some regrets, you know?
Sure.
So, one of the things is, you just posted that you did your first race.
Yeah.
You drove.
Yeah, I drove.
I got this, I got a little car.
You were like a Camry or something, weren't you?
It was like a regular car.
Actually, no, it looks regular.
That's how the kids do it.
It's called the Chevy SS.
It's a 2017 Chevy.
They made those from 2014, I believe, to 2017.
I forgot what they're called in Australia.
They're really popular over there.
Uh-huh.
It looks like a Chevy Malibu.
Yeah.
It doesn't look impressive.
Yeah, Chevy Malibu.
Yeah.
But it has the motor from a Camaro.
It has a 6.2.
I think it's like a 370-inch cubic inch.
Yeah.
It's a pretty fast car.
The guy who built it put, like, performance heads on it, long tube headers, a
boiler exhaust.
He put those fat fuel injectors on it and a couple other things.
So, the thing was powerful.
I actually traded that.
I won.
I technically won the car.
How?
So, I won a 2019 Camaro.
Where?
For what?
A lottery?
In a game of horse.
What?
Yeah.
I won't say who I won it from out of respect.
Sure.
How do you get to that point where it's like, fuck it, let's do it for a Camaro?
Well, I'm not a great basketball player.
Like, I'm not fast.
I don't have great handling skills.
What are you expecting?
But what's crazy is that even without the glasses, ever since I was a kid, I've
had a mean jump shot.
I loved playing growing up.
So, you just got practice on the shot.
Yeah, so, usually in games of horse, I'll start betting with people.
Mm-hmm.
And I started-
Give me the rundown of where that bet started to the car.
The bet started with, like, 50 bucks a game.
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
And then-
You took the guy's car?
One of them, it was like, I had an 87 Super Sport Monte Carlo with 24,000
original miles on it.
Interior, it was just clean as a day.
It came out of the factory.
Uh-huh.
The car was beautiful.
I actually sold that car, which I regret now.
Did you put that up?
Yes.
What did you have to put up?
Put up that car.
Yeah.
So, how many games of horse-
This is crazy.
You're playing-
Are you up 10 games, and then you're like, he's like, fuck it, let's go for the
car?
No.
Could have been hustling.
We had already stopped playing, and it was, like, the next day.
And instead of being, like, 50 bucks a game, he's like, put up the Monte Carlo
for my Camaro.
Because his Camaro, he bought it wrecked, and he had just got it fixed and
everything.
Jesus.
And it was, like, good to go.
Can this guy afford to lose a car?
Yeah.
Okay.
All right.
And I'm like, all right.
I'm trying to figure out who it is now.
This motherfucker's trying to get to work the next day.
Yeah, you guys don't know.
Ralph's got his car.
And so, I won it.
And I had been looking for a Chevy SS.
The guy who showed them to me is the guy who built the one I have now, right?
Uh-huh.
It was, he showed, he introduced me to SSs through his own SS.
And I had been looking for one.
But they're a little hard to find, especially because people who, like, love
those cars.
Like, if they're at a used car lot, you know, people will get them fast.
They go quick, yeah.
And then they hook them up.
Yeah.
So, the guy who had that Chevy SS around that time was, he was going to this
thing called
Race Week, where you go to, like, four or five different states in one week to
drag racing
events.
And during that time, he kept finding those Apple, what are they called?
Those tracker things?
Air tags.
Air tags on his car.
Get the fuck out of here.
Where people wanted to rob it, you know?
No shit.
So, he had just had his baby.
So, he was like, you know, I don't want this car.
And the type of attention it gets.
And I have my kid with me and stuff.
So, he wanted to get rid of it.
And I was like, man, I'll trade you for this Camaro.
And then you can probably sell that Camaro quicker or something, you know?
Yeah.
Something.
And he was already trying to sell that car.
He had somebody else lined up to get it.
And he didn't really want the Camaro.
He was like, nah, I'll just sell this one, you know?
But, I don't know.
I guess the Camaro, he was just like, screw it.
I mean, that dude loves to race.
Yeah.
So, he kept the Camaro, turned that into a race car.
I got the SS.
It was a happy trade.
Wait.
So, was he...
Was there ever like...
Was it when you go into this game?
You're back at the game of horse.
Are we indoor or outdoor?
Outdoor.
You're outdoor.
Someone's driveway?
My driveway.
You're playing in your driveway.
Yeah.
And is there any like, after you win, like, ah, don't worry about it, man.
We were just fucking around or...
Nah.
I did that.
And he was like, no.
And so, I was like, all right.
I gave you your shot.
I gave you one shot.
That's crazy.
That's the gentleman's move.
I'll give you the hay.
That got out of hand.
I lost my Chevy SS to that guy, and then I got it back.
Jesus fucking Christ.
That's crazy.
That's fucking...
That's like new rapper shit.
That's what that's...
What the fuck?
Roll on the...
You like this house?
Did it come down to one shot?
Do you remember the score?
It was getting kind of crazy.
Like, the game where I lost my SS, it got real close.
And I remember...
Wait, hold on.
You lost the SS in a game of horse, too?
Yeah.
But won it back.
But I won it back later that night.
But I always remember...
And then won the guy's Camaro.
No, I won the Camaro first.
I won the Camaro.
I got the SS.
And like a month later, he played me for the SS.
And I forgot what he put...
Yeah, and I lost it.
Dude, what the fuck?
You're playing horse.
That's the craziest thing in the world.
But I lost because he's really good at those...
Where you're like under...
Right under the net.
Up and under.
And, you know, turning the ball.
He's got an underhand shot you wouldn't believe.
So he got me with one of those, but...
You lost the car on a skyhook.
I like it.
What the fuck, Ralph?
That's crazy, dude.
And you got to do all the paperwork and all that shit, too, right?
You sign it over to him or whatever?
It's not real.
I'll be losing this again in a week.
Yeah.
We don't need to change it.
We don't do no paperwork.
God damn.
And it's all love.
We're all close.
I only do this with like...
It's your boys.
...close friends and family.
So if there's no like harbored...
What do you call it?
Like resentment?
Yeah.
Harbored emotions.
Yeah.
It's all good.
What the fuck, man?
That's crazy.
A week later, just like, Ralph Barbosa shot over a car dispute.
My close personal friend and or family member.
Horse game goes wrong.
Jesus.
And now, the race that I saw that we saw online, that's not...
Was that your first race or no?
Yeah.
It was at a track out in Texas.
It wasn't like this crazy event, but every weekend they do drag racing at that
strip.
I'm sorry to cut you off.
Did you drag race as a kid?
Nah.
Like any of your boys or anything?
No?
I mean, I'd take my mom's car and try to like race and drift and stuff.
What kind o