Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: The Chronicles of Jason Vol. 5 w/ @bigjayoakerson
Uploaded: 2024-12-16T00:00:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: The Chronicles of Jason Vol. 5 w/ @bigjayoakerson' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-16. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: The Chronicles of Jason Vol. 5 w/ @bigjayoakerson' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2024-12-16. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: The Chronicles of Jason Vol. 5 w/ @bigjayoakerson

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find it
out to be classy.
Yeah.
Or to just a big old piece of trash.
Garbage.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She's upstairs drying off a pack of heaters that she dropped in her Diet Coke.
Okay, very nice.
That's brought to you by Owen on the Patreon.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Hey, what's up, gang?
Shout out to you.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube, and obviously the greatest website of all time,
www.patreon.com
slash are you garbage, gang?
It's a goddamn party over there.
Yes, sir.
And we could not be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly
special guest
back with us again today for volume five.
Is that what it is?
Volume five of the Chronicles of Jason, now sponsored by Lipton Hard Iced Tea
and Lipton
and French Onion Soup.
Give it up to Brisk.
Mr. Big Jay Oakerson, everybody.
Thank you, guys.
Thank you for coming back.
I thought of you guys.
I think you've been sitting in the fridge for a while.
It's funny when I make any moves in life that I feel like you guys would be the
right people
to talk to, but every night when I was at Helium over Thanksgiving weekend, I
ordered in food
from like different places, and the last one I got was Oregon Steaks, which was-
Like Omaha Steaks?
No, no, no.
Oh, like cheese steaks.
Oregon App Steaks.
Oh, okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So good.
Really?
That I, I mean, I bought so many and brought them home, and I had to show
people at work.
I brought them, I was like, no, no, no, but this here.
Because they finally chopped the meat.
Wait, show-
They can't understand that here.
Showed people at work?
What are you, working in an office?
Series XM.
I walked around Series XM with cheese steaks to show people.
Okay.
I thought you picked up a receptionist job at a dental office or something like
that.
The girls at work love them.
I'm doing some light billing for Ant now.
Watch out.
That's a bad job to have now.
You're doing cold calls on solar energy?
Have you thought about switching at all?
Oh, wait.
I got a question about that.
Go ahead.
How did you transport the steaks from the night?
I assume you got, did you get them delivered to the club?
Yeah.
So you just ordered a bunch?
Yeah.
Okay.
And then did you take them back to the hotel or did you drive back?
No, drove right back to New York.
Okay.
Threw them in the fridge.
But you were just in a loose bag.
Hold on.
You were there for the whole weekend but drove back and forth?
The bread held up.
No, I did them the last night.
Okay.
On the Sunday night there was only one show.
Did you, but had you had already ordered or you found out how good they were
earlier on
in the?
Yeah.
Okay.
So you found out Friday night they were pretty good?
No, no, no.
Double order on Sunday.
Whoa!
Got them to watch the game.
We watched the game at Helium.
Gotcha.
So you had them early in the day.
I had them when I go, I need to get a bunch more of these delivered.
And I made young Dylan go outside so people wouldn't see.
Because I always assume, even when it's obviously an order that's going to be
for several people,
I always have that thing where it's like, this isn't just me.
A lot of people are involved in this.
Wait, wait.
It's well documented.
One Diet Coke with it.
One order of cheese fries and seven hoogies.
Because I do the thing up.
And what else did I need?
Oh, I also need bacon, egg, and cheese on a sesame bag.
Oh.
He starts saying games.
He goes, what did Jim say?
Jim say he wanted a, but you're looking at the menu at the time?
I think Jim said he wanted a, yes, a broccoli rabe.
Jim doesn't like pickles, though.
Marty, do you want a milkshake?
Just four milkshakes.
Marty doesn't want a milkshake.
Let me call him.
Getting a tester bag of fucking hoogies is great.
That was great.
Well, here's what's, again.
And how many is a lot?
Or a bag of them?
Like six.
Oh, that's a lot.
Six to go?
You're taking six with you?
Well, two of them were hoogies.
You've got to throw an Italian hoag in there, too.
Because they can't seem to figure that out here in New York, either.
It's crazy.
No, they cannot.
It's really nuts.
I don't know.
I don't know what the problem is.
It doesn't seem like regional should be these problems with food.
Also, it's not that regional.
I mean, it's an hour.
It's not like.
Correct.
But I mean, like, it's just like the fact that the good recipe or the way to do
it
hasn't telephoned an hour and a half up a turnpike.
It's not like you're in Aleppo.
Like, I can't get a good beef patty.
I don't know what the problem is.
If they go anywhere you go in this country and they go, it's Philly guys, they
blah,
blah, blah, some fake bullshit story that they bus in the water or some shit.
Yeah, they re-engineered the bread in the Bronx.
You're like, okay.
They were obsessed with Amorosos.
He goes, they have drones bringing in the Amorosos.
Started the college dorm room.
That's the shit they're dropping off Amorosos outside of the Philadelphia.
Amorosos and Forkroll.
Yeah, run these things over there in these drains.
Big Jay needs his hoogies.
So you throw them in the car and you bring them home.
Bring them home for sure.
But here's what's trashy to me.
I got a question for you.
Sorry to cut you off.
You throw the heat warmer on to keep them toasty?
Yeah.
That's a pro move.
You put them under the hood?
This guy's good.
Yeah.
But just lightly, superficially on top of the engine block.
No, but what's crazy is the next time I'm going to Philly is Christmas Eve.
And I'm already thinking about the amount of light that I'm going to eat at my
mom's.
Mom's not a cook.
But she's probably going to order, honest to God, what's going to be great.
I can't wait to tell you, she's probably going to bring in Primo's.
Yeah, you're a Primo's family, dude.
Primo's and sizzles.
A Primo's plate.
And then every year I go, when she says that, because they're doing Primo, I go,
do they
have, can I, I'll order this, like, I'll pay for it.
Let me just get, like, a thing like cheesesteaks, too, and have some of the hot
sandwiches.
She goes, yeah, they dude them there.
But, like, they say it's not, they don't hold up good.
Like, they tell her the inside scoop, like, the cheesesteaks aren't going to
hold up good.
Don't even waste your time with the hot.
It's also, it's a very dirt bag thing to be like, I'll pay for it.
Like, I know, you might not have the $24.99, I got it.
It's funny, or it's going to be that and, like, loose meatballs from, like,
ShopRite.
Oh, meatballs in a crock pot.
Let's go.
But it is, but I'm going back, but I'm thinking about how it's like, well, let
me really pace
myself there.
I don't want to go nuts, because I'm having a good feeling that Oregon Steaks
is going
to be open on Christmas Eve.
Yeah, that's their busy season.
I go, might as well go up there and rip off a couple more of them bitches,
bring them home
for Christmas Day.
You know what I mean?
For a Jew boy sitting in New York on Christmas.
Nothing better.
Yeah, there's nothing better.
Wow.
Does anybody in your mom's network show up with a Christmas cookie tray?
There's got to be some hairdresser or something.
Sure, some.
At my mom's house, it'll be my sisters, their husbands, my brother.
Mike Mimora.
Each one of those groups has one kid, Mike Mimora.
Ron Jaworski.
Mike Reese.
He just lives in the neighborhood.
Ron Jaworski owns my mom's-
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He owned a building my dad rented for his office one time.
So, Ron Jaworski.
John.
Yeah, what's that place Ron Jaworski owns?
Ron Jaworski Subdivisions.
That's what it was.
And Soft Pretzels.
Is there a Soft Pretzel tray?
No.
Wow.
No, I'll tell you, my family does not care enough about the Philadelphia Soft
Pretzel.
Trey, we're a big pretzel family.
I'm huge on pretzels.
I got Shane, game two of the Eagles season, brought, took me and a couple
people to the Eagles game.
And we got, like, the high-end Shane treatment.
Yeah, it's great.
I've had that at a Phillies game.
Real nice.
Shout out to the big dog.
It's pretty amazing.
And, like, so you know, then, when we're down that FanDuel Lounge was, like,
the place you go, like, kind of the holding area.
Right.
And there's stuff in there.
And I mean, I've done this more than once when I get hooked up with something,
is that I get so stoked on, like, the unbelievably free thing that I would have
paid for.
Sure.
That, like, I don't even go, there is a, I mean, people nonstop bringing out to
these trays fresh sushi.
They're watching them make the sushi.
They're bringing out mini cheese steaks, but, like, very artisan shit with,
like, garlic, herb, ketchup, and shit.
Yeah.
Right.
So, I don't even want, what I couldn't believe, I was like, how many times I
looked over at Shane or somebody with free Wawa Soft Pretzel in my mouth going,
this is nuts.
This is nuts.
Yo, you can just have as many of these as you want.
You got the dry mouth, too.
Well, we were asking them behind the bar if they had a squirty mustard because
it seemed to be all packets.
I'm like, do you guys have, this is crazy.
And we could have, like, can I take some of the mouth to the thing with this?
They go, they'll bring you pretzels out there.
I go, shut up.
No.
I was, like, they can't cross over thresholds.
Shut up.
Shut right the fuck up.
Dude, we were in one of the Phillies game.
We did the 999 challenge.
And he, dude, they dropped them.
We're all eating hot dogs and, like, beers and we're, like, sweating this out.
Ari's taking it way too serious.
Dude, and they dropped a fucking box of Mac and Mankos and he lost his fucking
money.
He's like, they got boardwalk pizza in here.
All the way from Ocean City.
I was trying to win a jersey.
They had them set up, like, you remember in the last crusade when all those chalices
were in the cave?
They were set up like that.
Single slices of Mac and Mac's fucking just at different little levels on
different little terraces.
It's nice.
It was beautiful.
Sounds lovely.
Pedestals is what I should say.
Yeah.
I mean, I was behind the scenes of this thing mad that the cheesesteaks were
too fancy schmancy.
I know what's with all the schmance on this thing, man.
Just fucking throw me a piece of a good cheesesteak.
They try to hit you with that fancy cheese cream sauce.
Yeah.
Barblanc or whatever it's called or I don't know.
Fuck, get the fuck out of here.
One time I was going to watch Sixers play the Knicks and Che was supposed to go.
And then he was like, at the last second, he was like, I can't go, but still
take the tickets.
And he's like, these are good.
You go down the little hole.
Yeah.
So we go in, which is funny.
I don't know if I'd been on the floor for a concert there yet to not know this
is like a concession stand that always exists.
But for a game like that, when you're down there, those concessions are free.
So we went down there and I'm telling you, it was me and Mike Fennoya.
Free.
I got.
He turned the word free into three syllables.
Free.
They are a for-ree.
For-a-ree.
It was so free.
And we got two boxes of popcorn.
We each got two hot dogs.
The fact that you remember this is nuts, that you remember what you got.
Me and Fennoya went, and we loaded up.
We were like, dude, let's get a burger.
He goes, I don't even want a burger, but we're getting split.
Dude, it's all free.
Let's go.
You're losing money.
A