Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Celebrity Impersonators w/ Kippy & Foley!
Uploaded: 2025-01-02T00:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Celebrity Impersonators w/ Kippy & Foley!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Celebrity Impersonators w/ Kippy & Foley!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-02. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Celebrity Impersonators w/ Kippy & Foley!

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Hey!
It's our little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out
it's a good to be classy.
Yeah?
They're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition.
She's in the garage powerlifting.
Okay.
That's by our good pal Cody Winters on the old paint show.
And I got to give a shout-out to Charles Terry, who wrote the one during the B&E
and Jordan episode.
Okay.
Which I got flustered because they're both lunatic.
Shout-out to you.
I forgot to give him a shout-out.
You are not lying.
Yeah, she's powerlifting out there, dude.
With some knee jerks?
2025, she's just getting it done.
Yeah.
She's after it.
Hang jerks.
Hang jerks.
I've done that.
Squabbles.
What's it called?
If you get caught, that will jam you up.
Goblet squats.
Like a goblet squat?
I don't know what that is.
Oh, they suck.
Okay.
I don't like them at all.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman.
Just opened up his third Krispy Kreme franchise.
It's expanding his empire.
Kevin James Ryan.
What up, everybody?
Shout-out to you.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, we just want to make sure you rate, if you subscribe on iTunes.
And now Spotify.
Check that out over there, gang.
Look at that.
Full video available on YouTube.
Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time.
www.patreon.com slash are you garbage.
You go over there.
You get all your bonus content, gang.
You sign up now.
You get four years of bonus content.
I'm talking videos.
I'm talking on-the-road stuff, behind-the-scenes.
Ireland, Disney, the Cribs episode, the Patty and Denise episode.
Foley's first limo ride ever.
That was a humdinger of a vid we did.
Wouldn't fit now.
Nice shirt, by the way.
Thanks.
I don't know why we're entering the year under these war-like...
It continues!
...circumstances of the black kingdom.
You also got to get a bubbly drink.
You saw me having a diet cake.
You want to just...
Is your resolution for 2025 to be me?
Because I think that's what's happening.
I want to be bold with one eyebrow.
Be better for you than whatever you got going on now.
That was a little mean.
I apologize.
I wanted to ask you this, too.
Yeah, please.
I need money.
How do you play it?
Now, I think I know what the decorum is, but how do you play it?
Okay, let's say you and the bird are going out to dinner.
All right, you're walking into the restaurant.
Luke, I opened this up to you as well.
You're walking into the restaurant.
Does she go first or do you go first?
She goes first.
Right.
I'll hold the door, typically.
Hey, all right, go right on in there.
She wants me to go first.
She doesn't like going in first.
You need a big fullback making that hole for you, baby.
More than one.
A couple of chop blocks coming in.
Okay, she wants you to go first.
I don't want to have to pun it like a loser.
She wants you to go first.
She stopped, dude.
It drives me crazy.
She, like, stops.
And I'm like, I look like a dickhead if you don't go first.
But she doesn't want to be the one to walk up to the hostess and be like, hey,
blah, blah, blah.
And if she does, she fucks it up because she'll give the wrong name and they're
just like, no, we got it on the street.
What do you mean the wrong name?
She'll think it's under her name or my name.
Yeah, this is all five second.
Is the reservation under your name or my name?
Or, hey, it's either under A or it's under B.
I don't like any trouble at the hostess stand.
I like to fucking slide in.
It sounds like you're causing trouble at the hostess stand.
I'm not causing trouble at the hostess stand.
I mean, like, there's enough events for this to be an issue.
So it should be I open the door for her and she goes in.
Also, then you soup Nazi.
You step in and take a – she goes in, steps right to the right, and waits for
the bulldog to come in.
She starts eating the mints already.
These toothpicks for everyone.
Two under Gorgon, please.
No, she takes two steps in and freezes and stops.
And then, like, I got to give her, like, the little push in the back.
Get out of the way.
You're ruining our anniversary.
Get out of the way.
Stop it.
Man, that shit drives me nuts.
The tight teeth.
That's our whole relationship.
Oh, man, my mom –
Do me a favor.
Just stop it.
Don't finish that.
Let me get a bite.
My mom and my stepdad, anytime they were cooking at the house.
Oh, my God.
Yeah?
The whisper fights at the stove.
Because the way it is, their backs to, like, the rest of the party.
When they're over there in the corner.
Turn it over there.
It was always my stepmom breaking my stepdad – or my mom breaking my stepdad's
stone.
Yeah, a cocktail or two in them, you know?
Goddamn gentleman.
It's a holiday.
Yeah, it was always –
We're like, all right, they're whisper fighting over the rolls or something.
Something that don't matter.
And does the bird tell you what she wants?
Like, I –
Like, before the server comes over –
No, we sit there in silence.
Yeah, you talk about the –
No, not talk about what you want to get, but –
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do this.
What are you thinking?
I'm going to –
She also –
She does that promo where she'll look beforehand.
I like that.
She Googles the menu.
She's like, I'm thinking of how to do the duck.
I like that.
I like –
Because I like her –
Sometimes if we're on our way somewhere, I'll be like, pull up the menu.
Let's see what we're –
Let's see what we're walking into.
And it's fun to hear her read off the, you know, the appetizers and stuff.
Call that foreplay in your relationship.
Start pressing the buttons and hitting the knobs.
I'm rubbing drawn butter on my nipples.
Yeah, say it slower.
Start over.
Not that.
Not how –
We should get this.
We should get that.
She tells me, like, I'm the –
Like, I'm going to get a Tito's martini or whatever.
You are.
She is.
She says that to me.
Or I'm just –
Or if we're, like, a Dunkin' Donuts or a Starbucks or something like that,
I'm going to get to whatever.
She'll tell –
I'm going to tell the fucking lady.
I'm not ordering for you.
Yeah, I'm not sure I understand where –
I'm not –
Man, you are a lot to deal with.
I'm not sure I understand.
I'm a handful.
I'm not sure I understand why that bothers you.
That's just, like, in line or at table.
Just tell the server what you want.
I know, but she's sitting there with you.
Hey, I think I'm going to do a Tito's martini.
Okay, yeah, it's great.
She doesn't say it like that.
She says it like she's telling me for me to order it.
Does that make sense?
But then she then orders it?
No.
Wait, what?
She fucks that up, too.
I don't know what you're talking about.
Same drink she gets all the time.
If she doesn't, she, like, freezes up.
Then they start asking about olives and the whole thing.
Dude, I get it a lot.
She'll be like – she'll know what she wants, but then the waiter comes over
and –
They freeze up.
No, no.
Hers is more of, like, English as a second language type thing because they'll
rattle off those
specials real quick.
And I'm just conditioned dirtbag.
We don't do the specials.
You're – you know, you don't even make eye contact.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
I sell you the undercoating.
That's how to get you.
Getting the specials.
Yeah.
I need a manager.
I'm not doing this.
Let me guess.
It's more expensive than everything else on the menu?
No, thank you.
Okay?
A deposit?
Run my card now?
They'll go, that's a whatever into a whatever with a whatever with a demi-glaze
and a ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba.
And she'll look at me and be like, what's a – I'm like, I don't know.
Why don't we listen to this guy?
We need to get the chicken fingers.
Let's go.
Demi-god?
The demi-gorgon?
Can't kill him.
Yeah, that kind of stuff.
I was like, so that – and then she'll be like, what's that?
And then he looks at me and I got to translate.
And I'm like, I don't know.
If it's not a chicken parm or chicken Alfredo or something, I'm at – I don't
know.
So you're saying this is me?
I think it's a combination of both of you.
Yeah, I would assume.
I don't know.
All right.
I don't understand.
Yeah, I think you're a bit of a freakazoid, I think, is the clinical term for
it.
You get – you're not –
How's that supposed to make me feel?
You're not real chill.
You're afraid to – you're going to embarrass or you're going to – and we
come from it, too.
It's like you don't want to –
I got yelled at a lot in restaurants when I was a kid.
You're like apologizing to the waiter for taking your order because you don't
want to make it seem like, I'm sorry on you, Keb.
You know, it's like that kind of – you feel like you're imposing on them.
She's a dumb broad.
Yeah, I apologize.
This is my lovely wife, dumb broad, but you know, whatever.
Yeah, you do that kind of stuff.
You don't care.
This is what it is.
You're more – you don't want to come off as a bother – or you want to
impress – you want to impress the waiter more than you care about getting in
a fight with your wife.
That's what it is.
You don't care.
You know you can solve that.
You'll never get a second chance with this waiter if that starts off bad.
You're done for it.
You know what I mean?
Come back.
I'm sorry about it.
Letter order again.
I think that's what it is.
Okay.
You know, hey –
I got a lot of growing to do this year.
No, slimming.
No, slim.
We got a lot of shrinking to do.
The word is shrinking, shrinking, shrinking.
Shrink it up.
Oh, they're shrinking.
What?
Little guy.
But all that's neither here nor there, gang.
We got a gosh darn 2025 family episode again.
Happy New Year to everybody out there.
Of course.
All the – well, the homies have gotten a happy New Year.
All the bozos.
Shout out to all the bozos.
The army of garbage is strong.
We got a lot of live show dates coming up.
Yeah, how about that?
We're going to start plugging.
Yeah.
Back on the road.
The boys are back on the road.
Back on the road.
Back on the road, baby.
Look at it runs.
Selective cities.
Selective cities.
Also, Route 66.
A lot of people – Route 66 is in the works.
That's going to be a bit of a bigger project coming out.
Ooh.
Not very soon.
Coming out soon.
Working on it.
I've been seeing the dailies on that.
Ooh.
That's going to be a fun piece of business.
But like I said, all that aside.
Sure.
Let's get into a nice family episode.
Cleanest.
What is 2025?
Year of the what, Luke?
Look it up.
I know.
Year of the snake.
Is it?
Yeah.
Year of the snake.
Whoa.
Snake knows.
Yeah, snake wouldn't know that.
Don't mean the meeting last week.
You're rat snake.
Dirt bags.
Boys, this is our year.
Coming out of the woodwork.
The year of the snake.
Does it mean anything?
The snake is linked to metamorphosis, wisdom, and intuition.
You are going to get bigger.
I have been eating a mice once a month.
A mice?
No.
Mouse.
Whatever.
Sure.
You have to fucking ice me on that.
Let's redo that.
I've been eating a mouse once a month.
There you go.
Fix that, babe.
Cut it, brin it.
All right.
This one's from Trusty Fiend.
$10 Airbnb driveway cigarette.
Deep cut.
Is it garbage to pull up to a red light, get out of the car, go push the crosswalk
button
trigger to change the light?
Man.
Goddamn hero is what you are.
That's, that's, uh, I mean, but that.
Do they work?
Yeah, I think so.
Um, I don't think they really work in New York.
That's all time.
That's just like.
I've never seen one in New York.
Yeah.
No.
Yeah.
They're not at the corners.
Maybe not every corner.
They're there.
They, they, they for sure exist.
You don't think New York city has a crosswalk button Foley?
Are you drinking again?
I've never seen it.
Listen, you don't crawl.
You don't walk a lot.
All right.
What?
The