Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Credit Card Fraud w/ Kippy & Foley!
Uploaded: 2025-01-30T00:00:22.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Credit Card Fraud w/ Kippy & Foley!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Credit Card Fraud w/ Kippy & Foley!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-01-30. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Credit Card Fraud w/ Kippy & Foley!

Attention, attention, Army of Garbage, the boys are back on the road for the
back on the blockboard, baby.
Talking about stand-up comedy, plus we play R U Garbage live with the crowd.
It's a great way to introduce people to the show, so grab the squad, come out
and see us.
Yeah, this March we're starting in Pontiac, Michigan, Indianapolis, Indiana,
Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Madison, Wisconsin,
Minneapolis, Minnesota, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, Cleveland, Ohio, Atlantic
City, New Jersey,
and gang, tickets are going quick. Get them while supplies last.
The boys are coming to town.
See you out there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage,
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is R U Garbage.
Hey, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find
that it's good to be classy.
Yeah.
You're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tooties in a new edition.
She's out in the driveway shooting some hoops.
Oh, that's okay.
Oh, that's okay.
I don't know what you were expecting.
Okay.
That's an H. Foley original.
I'm back, baby.
Can't tell me nothing.
She's out there with the sky hook, the underhand, the whole nine yards.
Okay.
It's freezing out there, too.
Now you're pushing.
It's no game.
Ball's as hard as a rock.
Uh-huh.
My ghost is coming at you from across the table.
This is what we call a family episode.
Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies like to circle the wagons a little bit.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman, and unfortunately, my best pal in the whole
wide world.
Give it up for KJ.
Who's that unfortunate for?
Because I don't think it's great for either one of us if we're being honest.
I believe all parties involved.
All parties involved, yes.
We both got a raw deal in this one.
Man, I got a raw deal from Jump.
This guy stinks.
What's up, gang?
Shout out to you.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube, and now Spotify, baby.
Not that.
Ooh-wee.
Full video available on Spotify.
Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
You go over there, you get all your bonus content.
You get to ask your garbage question on the air.
Shout out to the homies.
Also, go over to www.rugarbage.com for the Back on the Block tour, baby.
The boys are hitting the road starting in March, April.
It's going to be a good time.
We got Pontiac, Michigan.
Tickets for that.
I don't even know if they're going to be available by the time this airs.
You got Pontiac, Michigan.
You got Indianapolis, Indiana.
You got Milwaukee.
You got Madison, Wisconsin.
Listen, tickets are 75% gone.
Tickets are moving.
They're going to move.
And we appreciate it.
And we love you.
And we love you.
We got Minneapolis, Minnesota.
We got Pittsburgh.
We got Cleveland.
And we got Atlantic City.
The boys are going down the shore to AC.
That's the summer.
That's in the summertime.
That's the summer.
What is that, August?
It's July.
July.
Uh-huh.
Woo-wee.
AC in July.
I'm on a heater, too.
And we're planning more dates for the fall as well.
So get them ticky.
I love it.
Get down at the tables down there.
I'm off it.
No.
I'm on a heater.
Ever since Parks, baby.
I can't lose.
Sure.
22 black, baby.
Look out.
I'm coming for you.
I can see it.
That night, I could see it.
Uh-huh.
I could see it.
7, 22, 43.
P.F. Changs.
Boom, boom, boom.
We did have Asian that night, if I recall.
We did.
We went to a knockoff P.F. Changs.
P.F. Wangs.
Pull your beater out.
Sure.
Put pants on.
Shout out to P.F. Changs.
Okay.
Okay.
I've soured on them a little bit.
To be honest with you.
You find one pube in your chicken.
All of a sudden, we can't go there no more?
You're too good.
I got a little present for you.
You do?
I do.
After you've been treating me fucking like an asshole all day.
We got a rough morning.
That's awesome.
It was a rough morning.
That's the way it is when you're in business together.
You crack a little heads every once in a while.
You butt heads.
You got to break some eggs.
We're in here doing shit.
We're not out there hobnobbing.
Some of us are doing shit.
Doing a lot of stuff.
I had to put you in a room and make you work for 15 minutes a day.
That's brutal.
And then we started at me and Luke started having a fun conversation.
And he's going, hey, knock it off.
Hey, stop.
Man, if my breakfast hadn't gotten there in time, I don't know what I was going
to do.
Woo-wee.
Now, what do you got for me?
Is it money?
No.
Okay.
It's better.
Better than money?
Uh-huh.
In your economy.
Food.
Close.
So, I was over.
Food money.
Money I can eat?
You got me chocolate money?
Do you remember the bubblegum wallet by any chance?
What the fuck?
Yeah.
No.
Oh, yeah.
The dollar bill.
They had dollar bills.
It was like a wallet.
You open it up and like a bunch of, you know how like the pictures, whatever,
it would fall
down, kind of?
Yeah.
They had a bunch of plastic sleeves with like, they were this big and the
dollar bills
were gum.
Was the wallet made of gum too?
I don't think so.
I don't remember that at all.
Imagine like a checkbook and it went, you got to pull this up.
I got to see this.
You got eyes on that?
Is it a bazooka product?
Ah, buddy, I mean.
Love bazooka.
I mean, they are at the head of.
Love me some bazooka.
Especially the purple, the grape.
That'd really get you.
Why don't I have a pen?
I don't know.
Because you were doing work this morning.
I think it was wallet's bubble gum.
That might be it.
I don't know.
I mean, I don't think I'm going to be able to find this.
I remember my mom saying, no way.
And then I went somewhere with my dad and he was like, yeah, I don't care.
Man, I showed up to my mom counting bubble gum money.
Like it was a tubie.
I had it like it was drug money.
Like, how you doing?
I found bubble gum money under your bed.
A couple of Cheez-Its for me and the boys, huh?
I don't think I'm going to be able to.
It was a wallet.
They were like, you know, you slid into little plastic.
They were about this big.
It was like eating paper gum.
Listen, you know I'm a product of the 80s.
That shit was huge.
Were you born in the 60s?
Born in 1976, but I was a child of the 80s.
Okay.
You're a product of the 70s, though.
A product of the 70s.
Uh-huh.
Huh.
Mindset of the 50s, huh?
Am I right?
Nothing on that?
A woman in the kitchen?
I don't like a pot roast.
I like to eat on Sunday at the same time every week.
Ah, we didn't really talk about that.
You talk about that all the time.
What?
Eating on Sundays?
No.
We are from, uh, the generation is different enough where, and we didn't really
do this,
but my, uh, my aunt and uncle, who were a little bit older, shout out to Emory
Catherine
and Uncle Red, they ate supper.
We might have talked about this lightly.
Do you know what supper is?
Dinner.
No.
Supper's at, like, 2 o'clock.
Okay.
The big meal was at, like, 2 o'clock.
And then you had a little something later on.
A little sandwich.
Something like that.
I had a lunch.
I had a late lunch.
I had a big lunch.
No, it was called supper.
It was a Sunday thing.
I understand what you're calling it, but if you eat it, too, that's fucking
lunch in my book.
Not if it's, like, pot roast and fucking mashed potatoes and stuff like that.
First of all.
Who's eating that for lunch?
I mean, you're-
Hey, that is a present.
I like that.
So, as you know, I was over in Europe visiting the in-laws, doing a little
international business.
That's right.
You're falling down the steps, from what I remember.
Sure, that happened.
Okay.
I brought you a present.
I don't see it on you.
It's in my mind.
It's right here.
Oh, okay.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm sorry about everything this morning.
Meanwhile, I'm sitting there knowingly I'm about to blow your mind, and you're
just being
a fucking dickhead.
You're going to blow my mind.
Uh-huh.
I think so.
I'm a nice guy.
Is it candy?
No.
Because you wouldn't get me anything that I would want to eat these days.
Because you say, I'm going to die.
Unalive, I think, is the term.
But it's food.
Uh-uh.
You said it was food.
It's in that world.
It's gum.
It's candy.
No.
Just give me it.
It's a beverage.
A beverage.
A German delicacy.
Orangina.
No.
It's called...
Is there booze in it?
No.
We've loosely talked about it.
It's called Mesomix.
Okay.
It's Fanta and Coca-Cola.
Pre-mixed in a bottle.
Let's see.
Whoa.
And it's cold.
Uh-huh.
Mesomix.
I figured...
So this is orange...
From 19...
This is Fanta.
They'll even make it if they don't have it.
You go to a restaurant, you'll be like, let me get a fucking...
They'll give you both.
It's orange Coke.
I guess.
Essentially.
Sure.
Fanta orange.
I believe so, yeah.
Mesomix.
That's what I was told.
See, the Europeans, they do this.
Take a look at this.
It's the law.
You got to keep the cap attached to the bottle.
Yeah.
You just got to rip that off.
USA.
Cheers.
Thank you, my friend.
I appreciate it.
Only one.
You get two sips.
You get the first sip.
You don't get the...
You don't get the crush.
I was going to get the diet.
What?
That's not the full thing.
What kind of present is that?
If I brought you diet Coke, you would have to...
You just start slugging it.
All right.
Don't chug it.
Stop eating gluttonous.
That's fucking fantastic.
That's all right.
It's got a little hint to it.
It's Fanta off rip.
Then goes cola.
Then turns the corner back to Fanta a little bit.
Can I tell you what it tastes like?
Sure.
Haribo gummy colas.
Okay.
That's delicious.
All right.
Easy does it.
I'm going to wet the bed.
I used to get that all the time.
Like Fuller?
What the bed?
You were a wetter.
Thank you.
Can I drink this?
What?
Can I have this?
Sure.
I mean, what are we going to give it back to me?
Man, that's all right.
I brought you sodas from far away land.
How'd you get that over here?
You're like a king in the 1300s wanting spices and stuff from a far away land.
Oh, yes.
Yes.
What do you mean, how'd I get it over here?
I bought it at the goddamn airport.
At JFK?
What?
In Germany.
Yeah, it's from Germany.
Oh, you bought it after security.
You put that in the carry-on for me?
I did.
Wow, thanks, buddy.
With the bad back and everything?
With everything.
You still thought of me?
Uh-huh.
I love you.
Thank you.
Do you?
Yeah.
Sometimes.
I'd love you to death.
What are you talking about?
You're my best friend.
Until you kill me.
That's what it's all about.
Come on.
These pants got no give.
Yeah, why are you wearing trousers?
Because it's cold.
And them jeans are thin.
Dude, that is a bad look.
That is the toughest of all of them.
Who's seeing me?
I come here and I go home.
Put my gym shit on.
I go down here and work.
I'm not working on my pants.
Oh, you like to sneak that in.
Put my gym stuff on.
What's that?
What's that?
What are your athletic trousers you throw on?
What are they?
Your cat?
Your dockers?
Put on my dockers and my brown belt.
My New Balance shoes and I go walk on the treadmill.
I like to wear a guy in a suit.
Thank you.
That's very sweet of you.
Yeah.
Love it.
Where's my gift?
I got something for you at the house.
Yeah, what'd you get?
I haven't got a gift from you in a long time.
I got you a fucking Christmas present, you son of a bitch.
That's normal.
That's an exchange.
You haven't even opened it, by the way.
What?
My Christmas present.
The Craig.
That's a Craig, baby.
When was the next time you just got me a gift?
You didn't get me anything anywhere in Hawaii.
You didn't bring me back a souvenir or nothing.
You were there, dickhead.
See, now you're lashing out at me.
I got you a heater.
I'll get you a nice present.
I don't know what to get you.
You're a curmudgeon.
What am I going to do with this?
It doesn't matter what I get you.
A curmudgeon?
You got me a $12 fu