Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Supermarket Edition w/ Kippy & Foley!
Uploaded: 2025-02-03T00:00:27.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Supermarket Edition w/ Kippy & Foley!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Supermarket Edition w/ Kippy & Foley!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-02-03. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Supermarket Edition w/ Kippy & Foley!

Hey gang, if you haven't gotten your tickets for the Back on the Block Tour, do
yourself a favor and grab them now because they're going fast.
Yeah, we've already added a second show in Pontiac, Michigan.
We got a low ticket alert in Indy, Madison, Minneapolis, Pittsburgh, Cleveland.
Get them tickies now. We'll see you out there.
RUGarbage.com
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage.
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that
it's a good to be classy.
But they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tootie's in the new edition.
She's upstairs digging out an ingrown toenail.
Okay.
She's got a hot date tonight.
She's a lucky guy.
That's a Foley right there.
Mike Coase is coming at you from across the table.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Shout out to you.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
And also now Spotify.
Get over there.
Rate, review, comment.
Dude, a whole nine freaking y'all.
Spotify video.
The boys are locked in.
But obviously the greatest website of all time.
Of course.
Pull out your phone, your desktop, your tablet.
You go over to www.patreon.com slash RU Garbage.
You get all that bonus content, gang.
I'm talking up to two bonus episodes a week.
Hard feelings.
XYG.
All the episodes from four years ago until now.
That's like 10,000.
Plus family game night, which has been a big hit.
It's been a very divisive, divisive.
Follow the directions.
Very divisive.
If you know, you know.
Sure.
Good times.
And also.
Anyway, follow the rules.
That's all I'm saying.
Some of us decide to follow the rules.
Some of us don't.
That's all I'm saying.
The council is booked.
Also.
What?
The boys are back on the road.
Tickets?
Listen, this isn't a marketing ploy.
A little bit.
Well, not really.
I'm in the business of selling tickets.
Maybe a marketer, too.
Act now.
Act now.
While supplies last.
Act now.
Act now.
Nah, tickets are going.
Moving.
Tickets are moving.
They're moving.
Pontiac, Michigan, sold out.
Second show added there.
Nice.
Everything else is slim picking, so get them while they last.
And some of these markets where cities were doing during a week, so we can't
add a second
show, so we're sticking and moving, so get them while they last.
Got goddamn work in the morning.
Woo, doggie.
All tickets available at RUGarbage.com.
There you go.
Yeah.
Got the website, everything.
Doing pretty good.
We're doing pretty good.
Doing all right.
We got a $9 a month website cooking.
Shout out to it.
We know what we're doing.
I get in there and start coding.
What is the server fee on that?
I don't know.
Is it $9?
I don't know.
Because I still have a MySite account.
I don't even know what's MySite.
MySite.
Is that where it's like email me at henriettefoley.me or whatever?
That's like Mac does that.
I've never trusted that.
Anybody would have.
I never met anybody with a Mac address.
When I first got my first desk, my first and only computer back in 2006.
How's your first and only computer you've ever owned?
Was that one?
That at one point ran the company.
That one point ran the company.
That one point ran the two stages of the brain trust of Foley and Ryan Enterprises.
2006 Mac OS X.
Bought it in 2018.
17 inch.
My dad bought it for me.
Wait.
Okay.
I mean, you were pushing 30 at that point.
Sure.
That's like.
That was over 30.
That was.
You're going to get your feet.
This is him helping you start your artistic.
Yeah.
Your artistic venture.
And he was the worst with computers.
And for him to be like, you got to have a computer.
What are you doing?
How the hell are we going to email you, guy?
You don't need me.
This is the guy who used to send emails all in caps.
Because that was his style.
That's who I was taking.
Now you do all lower.
You do all lowercase, which is somehow even more.
More of a bitch move.
I don't.
It's all in cursive.
No punctuation or too much punctuation.
I'm all voice to text.
Voice to email.
Voice to text.
It's the rudest.
I mean, this is well.
This is well done.
It's the rudest thing I've ever seen in my life.
That.
You got to get this guy a pair of headphones and a dialing wand.
Because you're all over the map, just intrusive in people's personal space.
Well, I got rid of my fucking, my ear pods because you said they were causing
brain cancer.
And I got the fuck.
Buddy, you could use a little bit of it.
Maybe get the synapses fired on the right pages.
This guy, dude.
This guy stinks.
I need a shot of radiation over here.
I was in a car with him yesterday.
Oh, man.
What?
We didn't spend way too much time together.
I thought we had a nice time.
This guy asked if he could watch a 30-minute video on his phone yesterday while
we were driving together.
No headphones.
He goes, you mind if I watch this now?
I said, yeah, I mind if you watch it now.
Uber driver always says he's cool.
Meanwhile, he's doom scrunched.
Mid-conversation, look over.
He's just playing like plane crash videos.
You're like, dude, come on.
I'm trying to stay engaged.
I'm hungover.
We're not here to talk about my personality deficiencies.
Have you seen the show?
It's precise.
All right.
Do you want to do your physical ones?
Sure.
Does this shirt fit?
Not in the traditional sense that you're thinking.
Do you know where this shirt's from?
If I had to guess, a really fat Italian guy who may or may not be with us.
You don't remember this shirt?
Why would I remember that shirt?
I got married in this shirt.
Damn.
It don't fit anymore?
That was two weeks ago.
It fits.
It didn't.
No, I mean, okay.
It fits just when I sit.
It didn't.
What?
I mean.
Dude, that's a lot.
You're wearing the shirt you wore to your wedding just casually throughout New
York City?
I was thinking about that when I put it on this morning.
What am I supposed to just wear it once?
I'm like, am I supposed to just hang it up and that was it?
Why not get some use out of it?
Why is that crazy?
It's not like I'm wearing it.
I don't know anybody else that's ever done it.
That's all I'm saying.
Because most people get married in suits and tuxes and all that.
I wouldn't be walking out in a tuxedo.
If I bought a tuxedo, there's a good chance I'd be sleeping in it.
You're not going to untie that.
I'm done.
Dude, I bow tie every day.
I had cummerbunds with pain in the ass.
That'd be cool to bring those back.
Just daily cummerbunds.
Buddy, we got hard enough keeping you in jeans.
Let alone fucking tuxedos.
Man, you ever have a cummerbund on and your belly is sticking?
I've never.
You never had to wear a cummerbund?
Who do you think?
You didn't go to prom?
Or a black tie affair?
Those tuxes were out.
A cummerbund?
Yeah.
Nah, I mean, that's like the 50s.
We weren't doing that.
Tuxes now are just like suits.
Cumberbund and fucking...
Maybe a vest.
We did vests.
Vests are all right.
Oh, dude.
Oh, man.
I did some mean vests to school dances and weddings.
Oh, doggie.
Get the Mumford and Sons on the line here, huh?
Dude, did I ever tell you?
My one buddy got married and I had to wear a...
So we did this thing where it was like...
I don't know if it was like through men's warehouse or whatever, but you...
Like...
I think it was through men's warehouse.
So, like...
Because people were all over the country.
Like, the groomsmen were like...
Didn't all live locally.
Typically, I think you're like...
Oh, if y'all live in Philadelphia...
Hey, we're gonna meet up here Saturday morning, all get fitted for the suits,
then go pick
them up and you're good.
Yeah.
I was up here.
I'm like, dude, I didn't have the time and or resources to get down...
To get to Philadelphia for a tux fitting.
I didn't have the extra 40 bucks.
I assume you were nervous in the men's warehouse.
When's this bill coming?
I didn't do the men's warehouse.
I did something else.
So they were like, just send your measurements in.
So I did my own measurements.
I bought it...
I bought, like, a tape...
What?
I think I had my wife do it, who was my broad at the time.
We weren't married.
We were just dating.
So this is your nine feet tall.
Dude, those measurements came back, whacked the fuck out.
I looked like Tracy McGrady on ESPN, dude.
It was bad.
I was rolling them.
Listen, unless the planet's gone off its axis and we've lost half our gravity,
these
numbers cannot be right.
High-end seam, pal.
One of them was pie?
What?
3.333 repeating.
Yeah, it was...
I mean, I had to, like, roll the top down.
Of the pants?
I didn't...
At the wedding?
Yeah, I picked it up in Philly.
Wait, you sweat-panted them?
Rolled them down?
It was either that or T-Mac it.
I had my brother...
Well, no, that's what happened.
I had my brother pick it up because I couldn't even get down there to pick it
up.
So I had my brother pick it up.
You're out there like white chocolate, breaking ankles?
Hey, you!
That's my nephew.
Hot sizzle.
I'm out there doing skip to my loo moves.
Stink.
I had my brother pick it up and try it on for me.
What?
You might as well have Cindy Crawford do it.
No, we were about to say...
I was skinny at the time.
Okay.
Skinnier at the time.
Sure.
For sure.
And I had him try it on.
He was like, it's...
I mean, but this is...
He's picking up Friday.
The wedding's Saturday morning.
Men's Warehouse.
And he's like, it's not...
There's nothing you can do, but it's not great.
It's bad.
It's like...
Probably closed a lot of ass at that wedding, huh?
I think my parents were there.
They were.
You're peeing with your pants all the way down?
Can't get any fucking chicks out here.
Shout out to Ryan Dunn.
All-time great line.
Ah, yeah.
Tough, tough look.
Tough...
I mean, I don't do well in those type of things.
That's the last time I do my own measurements.
Anyway, it's a nice shirt.
I like it.
It's a very nice shirt.
It means a lot to me.
I'm going to wear it.
I did say...
All right, hold on.
You're going to push back on this.
You didn't put that on thinking,
this means a lot to me.
You put this on going,
this is all I got.
If we're being completely honest,
I know you.
Don't lie to the good people out there.
You're saying this now.
It means a lot to me.
You put it on because you thought it fit,
and it's probably all you got.
Yes or no?
Oh, you mean today or for the wedding?
Today.
Because both would be true.
Sure, exactly.
Exactly.
This don't mean a lot to you.
I bought this the day before I left.
Also, you just put Ian's T-shirt under it.
Try not to be an Ian.
With Jordan.
Let me have that sign on the door.
No more Ian's allowed.
That's pretty good.
Nice shirt.
But don't spin me the sentimental bullshit.
Well, it means a lot to me now.
It means a lot to you.
You're still fitting it, all right?
Tough guy?
I can't remember what happened to the one
that I was going to wear.
Didn't fit.
No, it did.
I don't know why it didn't work.
Or the pants didn't work.
Oh, it didn't work with the pants.
I couldn't wear the tan pants.
I had to wear the dark pants.
I had to get this.
Either way, don't fit.
That looks like the lining of a rich guy's suit,
if I'm being honest with you.
That's like a rich guy would have on his jacket.
And you're rocking it as his shirt.
The inside?
That's nice.
Nice.
You know what I mean?
Maybe the pocket square that tie is that flavor?
For the inside of like a nice leather jacket.
Yeah, like you open it up and it's that.
Ooh, that's nice.
That's when you know it's classy.
Meanwhile, you're rocking it.
And nice.
Nice.
Nice.
Do you remember some nice-
It's a little dark for a wedding, though.
Sure.
It looks like you-
I blend it in, though.
