Name: History Hyenas - Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast
Uploaded: 2025-03-06T00:00:30.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'History Hyenas - Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'History Hyenas - Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-03-06. Transcript available.

History Hyenas - Chris Distefano & Yannis Pappas | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast

again you want to thank everybody for all the love and support on the route 66
special it is
out now if you haven't seen it do yourself a favor and check it out yeah and
the back on the block
tour starts this week uh tickets still available for pontiac michigan march 8th
uh march 11th
milwaukee improv and then march 14th minneapolis minnesota at the film board
get your tickets
welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage the show where you find
out if your
favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash now here are your
hosts kevin
ryan and h foley hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's
favorite podcast
this is are you garbage that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians
and we find
that it's a good to be classy yeah but they're just a big old piece of trash i
was about to go trash
trash trash i'm your host actually coming at you on a glorious day we're out
back here at toadies in
the new edition she's out hitting the links whether or not okay you're working
on a short game for the
spring all right you know a little winter rules sure she got a caddy lets her
in all right whatever my
coast is coming at you from right next to me unamused this week he's a tough
laugh this kid my co-host
ceo of are you garbage international businessman kevin james ryan hey what's up
everybody shout
out to you thanks for tuning in as always make sure you rate you subscribe on
itunes full video
available on youtube and now full video available on spotify check that out uh
then the greatest
website of all time www.patreon.com/regarbage check that out check out that
route 66 tour cooking over
there on the used to page yeah but we couldn't be more excited to have two of
our incredibly special
guests here with us today two of the absolute funniest two of the best couple
of good looking
kids too let's be honest yeah ladies and gentlemen the history hyenas yeah
mommy and daddy
we got the boys here yeah the mommy and daddy are we we reconciled that the
divorce has been rescinded
we're back we got the kids back we got everybody well we lost a couple of kids
in a divorce but that's
okay but yanni my wife not for long go to patreon.com slash history hyenas yeah
i hear the sex is better
than ever we're gonna have a battle of the patreon the sex is better than ever
because yanni my wife lost
the weight yanni's weighing in at 196 now it's the first time i see my lady
first time i see my lady
under two hundo parents yanni you did come in really first day of school in it
you got the new
boots on yeah that's it that's a guy whose wife dressed to me put on your boots
he's got his brand
new car art boots on hey never see me outside you know what i you know what i
really um i really don't
like now about this era is every person asks me are you doing something oh zempick
ah what are you on
yeah did you do it naturally it's like yeah and then you say no i'm just on repressed
childhood
memories that's what i'm eating i just it's all it's called depression it's
called depression they
don't know the value of an old weight bench in the garage oh yeah get it out to
some blue oyster cult
now you know the problem is my the ceiling in my garage is too low so i can't
get a treadmill or
i said i'd go through the i don't think that's a garage i was going to say what
is it that's a
it's only for convertibles yeah unfortunately my garage is a little bit of a
problem it's got low
ceilings why don't you get a lift for the garage why don't we raise the ceiling
a little bit raise
the roof wait hold on that doesn't make any sense how do you get the car in
there the car when i pop
the hood i have to control the pop so it doesn't hit the i got to open it by
hand what so if you had but
so if you had like an suv you can't get one in there you can't get one in there
is it a drop
ceiling it's no it's not even a drop ceiling it's just when they built it it
was just i guess it was
built for chinese right is it connected to the house or a detached stand alone
it's underneath it's
underneath oh you're on a hill i'm not i'm on a hill he's on a hill that's what
matters yeah that's
a kid who should have been in construction yeah yeah wait hold on it's
underneath that's underneath
the house underneath the house underneath the floor of the house yeah so you go
down his driveway yeah
you have one of those we got a nice clean coat of white that's covering up the
all the imperfection
so it looks like a finished gorgeous wait you have a driveway that goes down
the driveway goes down the
hill whoa yep down the hill so which is very old school queens brooklyn yeah
that's where they killed
joe pesci right there throw him down yeah yeah i just i'm not interested in a
house for me the
garage you're renting again i'm renting this kid's all he calls me i buy a
house we start talking how's
the house going i go great best decision you could ever make next text right
away he goes i sold my
house i'm going back to an apartment christy's got two roommates again i said
listen the mortgage rates
are the lowest i've ever been in history i bought during that time i said let
me wait till they triple
then i'm going to sell and that's what i did and that's what i did because i
like a little bit of the
chaos and it's and it's a regrettable decision but i will tell you this is i've
looked i've been
trying to look at a couple of houses again and i'm just listening anyone on zillow
anyone listening
to me any real estate agents that i may or may not hire because i'm always
firing them and hiring
them i'm not looking for houses with detached garages i need the garage
attached to the house
because that's where i put the gym i don't pull my car into the garage i put my
gym equipment
in the garage and i leave the car outside the garage and i just wipe the snow
off like an american
yeah it's actually it's an american way to do it did you did you made a few
bucks on the house
the staten island i made a few bucks on the house but i consider breaking even
making
well i was going to say if you if you consider a few if you if you consider
making a few which i do
right if you consider making a few bucks meaning four dollars then yes that's
because i i completely
renovated the entire kitchen and bathrooms and then your baby i sold it a month
later you never got
into when you were gonna uh make the pool all one level no i did do that as
well yes and then
and then i turned turned this pool into a coin pond yeah a couple coins on
renovating it for
the nice family and then the beautiful palestinian family that bought it they
are enjoying a nice
new home that's good you're a good guy well that's what i said i said you know
and that's the one way
i'm helping with the war here you know as i gave the palestinians a home on
staten island and then
but i also you know i got with a two-foot pool yeah i gave the palestinians my
house and i gave the
my jewish accountant the money yeah transaction so i helped both sides and that's
why we've been
on the horn with netanyahu trying to figure out how to get it back yes yes netanyahu
you said that
like ai yeah he made it sound like he's an apache yeah and i don't know why his
face isn't on chocolate
drink bottles and they're calling him net and yuhus i don't know why they're
not doing that because
every time i hear that guy's name it makes me think of a fucking yuhu and i
think they should combine
the marketing yeah and there's no milk in that there isn't no that's dairy free
yuhu dairy free
big fan we were speaking about the yuka app before this app not you know it's
not a sponsor i don't
have any i would love for them to get involved but you start scanning different
foods on this app
it's called yuka y-u-k-a and you see start seeing the chemicals every food gets
a score like this right
here here let me let me do this let's scan these puppies jesus christ danish
butter cookies 24 out of
100 folks is that good or bad bad it's red bad additives it's got additives it's
got saturated fat
it's got calories it's got sugar it's got cali no shit has got calories stop it
you're making foley
hungry yeah somebody get rfk out of here well foley let me but he's coming
after wendy's but here's
what i like american institution right but here's what i like about this app is
if it just told me
the food's bad i'd say thank you how does it help me this food gives you
recommendations alternative
alternative so royal dance danish butter cookies get a 24 out of 100 but for 72
out of 100 which is good
good good good you can get t-rusk whole wheat crispy cookies i'd rather eat my
own a heads
hole dude or sugar-free fiber biscuits oh my god for 66 out of 100 or how are
those only 66 that should
be 100 the riboflavones with a flavor or or you can get um avon coal i don't
know what that is that's
that's a 66 my cousin had that that's what killed the indians yes or we put
that on some blankets or
matilde vincenzi lady fingers don't seem so bad and that's a 51 that those are
all right they should
call that app no fun yeah yeah talk about a tough hang new chrissy new chrissy's
a tough hang i don't
like this rfk poking his nose i'll scan this water right now natural water
feeds you water 100 out of 100
folks that's just from the sink though we just we really filled them up this is
all good
but get the yuca app it's healthy this kid's mom uses and she's a ceo chrissy's
the king of new
things yeah he's every time i see him he's got a new thing what do you what are
you doing with the
gym equipment now where is that do you have a storage locker somewhere no i
have it's a detached garage
and the thing is so are you wait are you living like are you looking living
like doug like king of
queens doug heffernan that's how we're living right now we got in the wall air
conditioners we take them
in take up we i got the air conditioner i gotta lift the window up and put the
ac unit in i got
no central ac move to the burbs like yanni what are you doing she doesn't want
to move there this is
this is my theory on chrissy it's just you got to understand you're dealing
with a kid from ridgewood
queens right so there's certain things that makes those kids comfortable look
at his jaw whenever yanni
say he's a kid from clean he gets all caveman that's the bottom that's when the
bottom draw comes
out comes out fans love that yeah you know something good's coming so he's just
a kid there's certain
things that just he needs to be comfy i respect it yeah so i need i need an ac
that i got to put in
the window yeah plug in you like plugging one in yeah i gotta be honest with
you my house was my house
instead i was too fancy i didn't have any lights that i could put a string on
and pull down so i was like
i need to pull these fucking lights i'm gonna pull the lights out of the
ceiling yeah so i need that
um i need and i but i do need now the one amenity that i'm looking for as i
want the garage attached
to the house because i got my gym equipment right now in my detached garage in
my house and even though
it's just a five foot walk i never use the gym it's got to be attached to the
house so you think if
it's closer than five if it's two feet you're gonna go if it's attached to the
house i use it if it's not
attached to the house i don't use it that chick could be in my bedroom yeah
that's that's
that's foley level denial and i respect it yeah you got all the equipment out
there in a garage
yeah and i was and i won't freaking use it and i should i should but i if it's
attached to the house
i use it and i make up the excuses i got kids i can't i can't be not in the
same physical space
as them if nobody's watching them but sure if the garage is attached to the
house i say to kids they
sit there put on netflix put in the cartoons daddy's gonna do his pull-ups and
hit the weights you
can still yell in tell him to start a sauce right yeah yeah so i could stand
and say hey get off the
couch stop hitting your sister and then i go back to the fucking treadmill that's
