Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!
Uploaded: 2025-04-13T23:00:24.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-04-13. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Dateline Marriage w/ Chad Daniels & Kelsey Cook!

Gang, the 2025 edition of the R.U. Garbage Card Game 3rd edition is on sale
right now at RUgarbage.com.
Play it with your friends, play it with your family, and see who is trash.
Yeah, we got over 50 questions right here.
Was your babysitter a man? Hit me.
Yes, he was.
Ever been run over? How you doing?
Yes, I have.
Can you pick up stuff with your toes?
Yes, I can.
Gang, available at RUgarbage.com, and they're shipping in a day or two. Get on
board.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RUgarbage, the show where you find out
if your favorite
comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts,
Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RUgarbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find out
they're good to be classy.
Yeah.
If they're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here
at Tootie's
in a new edition. She's over in the kitchen having a bowl of crackling oat bran.
Okay. That's it?
Slow morning.
All right.
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me. He is the CEO of RUgarbage.
He's an international
businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ, Kevin
James Ryan,
everybody.
What up, gang? How you doing? Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure
you rate,
if you subscribe on iTunes, full video available on YouTube. Also, full video
of
now available on Spotify as well. And then obviously, patreon.com slash RUgarbage.
Check
it out.
Yes, sir. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have two incredibly special
guests back with
us again today. Both very funny comedians. They're a power couple. Midwestern
power couple.
People magazine's calling them.
Not too shabby in the bedroom either, I hear.
Fish and Game called them. Ooh, that's hot. Give it up for Chad Daniels and
Kelsey Cook,
everybody. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming out, guys. We appreciate you.
As I was saying
before, you're the third couple on the show. You guys have your podcast, Pretend
Problems. Kelsey
has a special out on Hulu and YouTube, Mark Your Territory. And of course, Mr.
Daniels has a special
out on Netflix, Empty Nester. Two of the funniest. Two of the best. That's so
nice, guys. Thank you.
Absolutely. We appreciate you guys being here. Mm-hmm. Well, we're super stoked.
You said
we're the third couple, but you also had Tom and Christina separately. Tom and
Christina
separately. Yes. Okay. Which I don't know how those two work together. It's a
very, they're
a very unique pairing. Crazy. Every other couple we've had kind of makes sense.
Yeah. Yeah,
yeah, yeah. She's trash. Which you guys were both trash. Mm-hmm. Through and
through.
We concluded. Without a doubt. Without a doubt. Yeah. And now you've teamed up
like a garbage
Voltron. Mega trash. To get letters from the HOA, I'm sure. How long have you
guys been living
together? Mm-hmm. Just over two years. Two years. Yep. And who moved into where?
Or did
you get a new place together? We got a new place together. Did you? Very smart.
That's
not what dirtbags typically do. True. But I did, I moved from Spokane, which is
trash capital
of America, I feel, to Minnesota to live with him. That's right. So he moved.
And I drove
two and a half hours southeast. Okay. Oh, yeah. That's a lot of compromise. She
did
the move. Yeah, I was like, here's how it's going to go. Spokane to Minnesota.
Talk about
a lateral move. Yeah. Not a lot of change. They probably thought you were
moving to Paris
or something like that. I know. It's a Delta hub. It's a Delta hub. That's what
Midwest
people say. We're traveling. It's only three hours to everywhere. Fair enough.
That's a
guy who's been working the road a while. Yeah, no shit. Yeah. Big road dog.
Which, one thing
I did want to ask, who, I saw you guys, you've posted your Instagram stories
yesterday or whatever,
and I noticed you guys were traveling together. Who has a better status? He is,
okay, for being
as garbage as he is, he is truly, he is a prince in the skies. He is Delta 360.
What? Wait,
what's that? That's like, yeah, it's like 5 million miles or something. That's
crazy. He's been
torn for 40 years. I didn't tell you. I tried to buy it. You can't buy it. That's
how. It is invite
only. Yeah. He's the motherfucker that walks by me as I'm waiting. It's, uh, so
this surprised
me one day. I was going to miss my flight because the connection, we were
delayed, and there was
a woman right outside the plane, not outside the jet bridge, right outside the
plane where
you drop your luggage. Sure. Where they put the people in the wheelchair. Yeah,
exactly.
Yeah. I'm always jealous of them. These motherfuckers got it so good. Can I get
a ride up the
hill? Said me run to the store real quick. Holy fat guy would call that the
hill. But
she had my name on a, on a card. And then I went down the luggage stairs to a
Porsche to
outside to a Porsche. I've seen that. And they, they send you across the tarmac.
You don't
have to go through the, you don't have to go in with all the pores and walk
around. Do
you have to walk across the tarmac? No, no, no. They bring in the Porsche. In a
Porsche? Yeah.
There's like a Porsche Cayet. A Porsche? Yeah. I've seen it. I've seen people
do it before. Famous
people. Man. It's crazy. I don't know how I got invited. This is a man. That's
a lot for a guy
on his way to the comedy zone. I like it. Wait a second. You think I could work
the comedy
zone? Harrisburg, not the main one. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is a
man who dips
his roast beef sandwiches in ketchup, like a pond of ketchup. And he's getting
driven gate to gate
in a porch. It's such a weird dichotomy. But that's what, that's what makes
comedy great is
like the biggest dirt bank. And like, yeah, drive me to my plane in a porch,
please. Yeah.
Roast beef is a red meat. Hey, I'm with you on that. You don't do an au jus?
Wait, you said roast
beef sandwich, right? Yeah. Hot roast beef or cold? Hot. I warm it up. I toast
the bread.
Oh, you're making this at home? Sure. Okay. Hold on. Back this side. Wait, hold
on. Hold
on. Slow down a second. We're going to get into all of this. Yeah. But since
you brought
up roast beef, you go to the store. I go to the store. Okay. What's the usual
lunch meat
order? And is that what you guys call it? She gets turkey. Okay. I get turkey.
I just call
it meat. Meat? Yeah. You just call it meat? Well, I don't want to, I don't want
to put it
in a corner and go, I'm only having you at lunch. Right? So I don't call it
lunch meat.
You'll go get sliced meat. I go, I might eat you at midnight. You might be
midnight meat.
We don't know. But what would you say is in the fridge? Midnight meat is also a
Patreon
tier. I think sandwich meat. Sandwich meat? Yeah. Well, that's very old school.
Lunch
meat is the gentleman's term. Deli meat. Okay. And let's pull this back one
more step. What
grocery store are you guys going together now? The new location, what's that
grocery store?
It's usually Whole Foods. Okay. Really? Yeah. Very nice. Thanks. And where are
we at in
Minnesota? Are we near Minneapolis? Yeah. We're near Minneapolis. Okay. We're
in the cities.
Roughly, we're in a suburb of the Twin Cities. Yeah. All right. Not bad. Shopping
at Whole
Foods. Are you doing the name brand turkey? What's the order when you go, let
me get? Yeah.
It's like the apple gate. Apple gate. Whoa. I know what you're talking about.
That's tight.
There's only one roast beef. It doesn't have the label on it. You just say, I'd
like some
roast beef. Okay. I think they do it there. But it comes with blood. Yeah. They
do it there.
Yeah. They haven't cooked out the blood. So that's what you get? You're a roast
beef man
when it comes to deli meats? I get roast beef. I put that on a little plate.
Okay. And I put
that in the microwave for 30 seconds. Then I add my cheese for 30 more seconds.
I don't
like my cheese to be too hot. American. American. Goddamn patriot. Citizen. Pay
my taxes. Pay
my taxes. So I eat the cheese. And then I toast the bread. And then sometimes
when I'm getting
crazy, I'll make some mushrooms, saute some mushrooms. Really? Throw that on
there. And
then I slice it. And then I dip all that masterpiece in ketchup. Wow. All right.
I'm with Kelsey
now. Once you add it to mushrooms, dip that in ketchup is weird. Yeah. And
theoretically,
it should be Swiss cheese if you're putting it on roast beef. Just saying, as
far as like
fat guy rules, it would have to be Swiss. Which we play by here. I don't know
if you've
gotten the handbook. We play by fat guy rules. This guy's making a French dip
with American
cheese. I know. Chattel die surrounded by Kraft singles. You can't get them
away from them.
Is that what kind of cheese it is? It's also a freedom dip, brother.
That's why I put American cheese on it, dude. Take my Liberty sandwich, please.
Hello. Wait, hold on. These are Kraft singles you're doing that with?
Or like single? No, I'll do like a, what is it? Sargento? Is that a brand of
cheese?
That's what you're getting? Yeah, you don't get that. This guy's mixing
countries. Wait, hold
on. You don't get a couple tariffs on this fucking guy.
You're not getting the cheese at the deli counter, too?
Like, give me a pound of American. If it's pre-sliced, I'm not asking for it.
Takes
too long. They got to wash the thing. They got to go to a different slice.
I respect that. Sometimes I'll have it pre-sliced and racked there. I like to
go in and out on
this grocery shopping. Who's doing, are we doing this together?
Well, we'll do it together. Sometimes if one of them, one of us is near it,
then we'll
just go do it by ourselves, but. The whole order or how often, how long of a
days are you
guys shopping? Because you're both working, you're both traveling.
Yeah. I don't know. We do try to get in and out. Chad is. I would peg Chad is
not a cart
kind of guy. Do you grab a cart and go? Basket guy.
Yeah, sometimes basket. Sometimes I go mini cart if she's with. Depends on what
we're going
to get. I never go full cart. Never go full carts too much.
I'm the same way. What am I, planning for a fucking month?
Sure. I'm on the road, I gotta work. Mini cart. I put most stuff in my arm,
like I. You do it,
yeah, yeah, yeah. My dad instilled in me that only ladies use carts. Oh my god.
So I'm very
much like it's under, I got like a, you know. Yeah. A banana in my ass or
whatever. Sometimes
I'm going by myself more often now because Chad has, his spazes in public are
kind of off
the charts and a woman. Wait, really? For the listeners that don't know Chad,
he's what I
would call a little bit of a loose scanner. Man with a set of principles. Yeah.
I think
that's fair to say. Look at his face right now. Follow the fucking rules. How
hard is
that? I'm right there with you, big guy. He lives by a roast beef code. Follow
the fucking
rules. Hey, I'm on your side. Oh, it's unbelievable. Okay. All right, hold on.
Let's back this
up. We're going to, let's get more into the grocery store, but first to travel.
How was the
traveling together? How is the traveling together? Because theoretically, you're
both seasoned
comics. You both travel a lot for business. So that usually keeps people on the
same page
because we have the trouble now that when we don't, when we travel as a group,
we travel
like the A team. You would be, you would be very impressed. We're fucking, no
weight, no
nothing in and out. You don't have any luggage. You're just carrying your stuff.
I got my deodorant
in my mouth. Yep. But sometimes we're finding now that when we do bring the
significant others
or family involved in our travel, it's like, what the fuck? It's like, they've
never been
in an airport before. Oh God. You guys don't really have that. People going
through giant
things of liquids. Is this? Yes. My wife will get caught with