Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Family Fights Part 2 w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-06-15T23:00:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Family Fights Part 2 w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-15. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Family Fights Part 2 w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-15. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Family Fights Part 2 w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Martin's question is, are you garbage if you ask for a Rumpelman shot at the
bar upstairs
and the bartender said, we're not that kind of place?
Give the boys a round of applause for kicking it off with a goddamn home run.
Rumpelman's when you're out of crack.
Rumpelman's when you know you're not going to get hard.
Gang, get your tickets for the Back on the Block Tour at RUGarbage.com.
Second show out in San Francisco, get your tickets for Portland, Seattle, Brea,
Burlington, Vermont,
Boston, Massachusetts, Low Ticket Warning, Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North
Carolina,
Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia
at the Met,
Rochester, New York, and Toronto, Ontario.
See you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage,
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians,
and we find that I have to give it to be classy.
Yeah.
Or just a big old piece of trash.
Garbage.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She's out front with a little lemonade stand.
Okay.
I got you.
Nickels, 20s, and ace and quarters.
All right.
You know what I mean.
A couple of cute bees.
Talking about drugs.
All right.
Talking about drugs.
My co-host coming at you from across the tables.
What we call a family episode.
Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies.
He's the CEO of RU Garbage.
He's a national businessman and the president of the Luke Combs fan club.
Shout out to Luke Combs out there.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin, James, Ryan, everybody.
I would thank you once.
Shout out to you.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
As you know, those numbers are cooking, baby.
Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
I'm contractually obligated to say all this.
And Luke Combs did send me this personally, not him personally, but a guy who
works for
him sent this to me.
Shout out to him.
You look like a bad hunter.
Guy who blows his face off with a shotgun.
Trust me, I'm at the point now where maybe I would.
Ah, yeah.
Boy.
That's pretty nice that Luke Combs' operation sent us some swag.
Sure.
Shout out to the big dog.
He has no idea we received it.
He's probably yelling at the guy who sent it to us.
Send it out free merch.
That's our boy.
Sure.
Kidding me?
Uh-huh.
We got to get him back in for round two.
Mm-hmm.
Gang, we're here for Family Fights 2.
Part 2.
Part 2.
Because, you know, we've got more submissions about family fights than any
other-
Than the police.
I know.
I mean, they're still coming in.
People are still DMing.
Just one time, I had Nana in a headlock.
Family's tough, man.
Family's tough.
I got them all in town this weekend.
I got my wife's whole family in town.
But it's going from the reports from the front line.
Seems to be going pretty well.
Buddy, I have stepped up my game.
I just keep my mouth shut.
I smile.
We're having a great time.
The apartment's the better it's ever been.
Mm-hmm.
Got the upstairs all nice.
Uncle Hank's-
I'm sliding into the roll.
Uncle Hank.
Got the grilling going.
Sure.
No complaining.
No nothing.
I'm chilling.
Hey, a dog.
A dog's going to-
I'm going to lose it!
A dog's going to be a dog at some point, baby.
A dog going to bite.
Shut up!
Big man can only roll over and play dead for so long before them true colors
come out.
You know why I know?
Because I know you.
There was almost an explosion this morning.
I ain't talking about the propane tank.
It was almost-
She's being great.
Everybody's being great.
Everything's awesome.
So the family was nice enough to bring me a t-shirt back from the island.
There's this one clothing company-
Sailboats, USA.
So big, it's a sale.
Yeah, I'm aware of what you were getting at.
All right, I'm just saying.
Brought me back a nice shirt.
That joke was Luke Combs approved.
It's a 4X.
All right, the whole family's out there.
She's in there.
She's sitting out there.
They have to check that thing or how'd they get it here?
Came in on a military flight.
Z-130.
They use it as a parachute for a Humvee.
You ever see when they shut those out the back?
Oh, that'd take your foot off.
Watch out.
Keep your fingers in twos.
They send dudes out in those sometimes.
No, they don't.
Was it the X Games?
Whoa.
All right.
All right.
Anyway, we're sitting there.
They give me the shirt.
Hold the shirt.
Oh, it's beautiful.
Thank you so much.
I appreciate it.
I turn around and walk back.
Now, I'm trying to get to work here.
I need to shower.
You know what I mean?
Sure.
Try it on.
Who said that?
Family member or your bird?
The bird.
I wanted to be one.
You fucking motherfucker.
Try it.
What are you?
What in the fucking Christmas story are you talking about?
Try it on.
Hey, look.
They're rolling a little tight over there.
Sure.
You're not a 4X in Hawaii.
No.
No.
I'm not a 4X on Jupiter.
Doesn't really fit.
Now that you go.
Hold on.
Listen.
So I'm standing there.
It's fucking.
Why would you do it there?
You didn't go into the room and do it?
I didn't have a shirt on.
As the great Gary Goldman says, you pull him aside.
That shit.
She should have pulled me aside.
You didn't have a shirt on before you tried it on?
No.
I just woke up.
Are you in front of her family?
I got shorts on.
Okay.
What, you think that's weird?
So now you're more embarrassed that the shirt doesn't fit than being topless?
They've seen me topless.
That's a little weird.
It's weird to have my shirt off in front of my family?
Listen.
Not if you're fucking Brad Pitt.
Sure.
You think?
In a New York City apartment?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Not at the beach.
It's not like, hey, I just did a cold plunge.
That's how I do it.
I'm in my home with my family.
I know.
Listen.
Okay.
Okay.
I get that's how you do it.
You do certain things.
I'm old school, baby.
Sure.
All right.
Listen.
I'm under the guise.
If you have company over, I make spaghetti sauce in my underwear.
That's how I do it.
Okay.
Hot and spicy.
Caliente.
Yeah.
I mean.
You think so.
Yeah.
You just.
I tuck the gut in.
I pull it up.
Respectable.
You know where I get that from?
Laziness, I would assume.
No.
My high school girlfriend's dad told me that one time because I saw there was a
lot of pictures
of him with his shirt off.
And I remember it explaining to me.
He's like, you know, I work hard all week.
And when I get home, I like to have my, I like to relax with my shirt off.
And I was like, I like that.
You know when your in-laws are there, though?
Like, I get you.
You take one thing you've heard and then apply it to the rest of your life.
You think?
Yeah.
Let's get back to the point here.
Dessert's good.
He shouldn't have called me out and said, hey, try it on in front of everybody.
I completely agree.
But you also, at the time, didn't have a shirt on.
So it's then the whole system's on trial here.
What are you talking about?
A hundred percent.
But in that, guys, I thought you had a shirt on.
Nah.
When you were.
Okay.
I sleep in my shorts.
I get that.
You sleep in your shorts.
But then, listen, I think when you're cohabitating with people who aren't your
specific family.
I get to do your in-laws very recently.
I don't know.
At Patties, I'm usually in my underwear.
That's fine.
I'll give you that.
I'll give you that.
But I think if you're at someone else's house.
Especially when I'm snacking with you.
Or when there's other people at your house.
You think?
I think the common courtesy.
I think if we called our etiquette coach, I think she would be like, yeah,
whatever you do.
Maybe you don't got a shirt on.
Sure.
Is that what you're 50?
You're comparing yourself to an 18-month-old?
What are we doing here?
You want the same rules?
He shits himself.
I shit myself.
All right.
I would listen.
Speaking of family, that's getting thrown around, the fact that you're walking
around shirtless.
On that side of the family.
You think so?
Listen.
You know how much do we criticize certain things and people are.
I mean, this whole show is.
If I was sitting somewhere and a 500-pound man came out with no shirt on.
I'm not 500 pounds.
I'm sending a text going, this motherfucker walking around fucking cooking scrambies
without his shirt on.
That text is getting sent.
That's all I'm saying.
You would send the same thing.
You know you would, too.
Who wants toast?
The guy's walking around with his fucking.
You got skin tags all over you.
Man.
It's like you're fucking, it's like you're braille.
Mama's got breakfast every morning.
Sure.
Put a, hey, listen.
For me.
For me.
Put a shirt on.
Moving forward.
I got a shirt on.
When you, when, okay.
Oh, God.
I'm surprised they haven't filed for a divorce yet.
They're draped in the papers.
Just, she's sleeping.
They're taking her hand and signing it real quick.
I've been doing my business downstairs, too.
Downstairs?
In the lobby?
Yeah.
You've been dumping in the lobby.
That's, hey, that's, I mean, that's better than no, listen.
I'm sure the super's a little upset.
The doorman, the doorman ain't thrilled.
But that's, yeah, that's nice.
That's nice of you.
Down in the gym.
In the gym.
Yeah.
You walk in with a fucking newspaper under your arm.
There's fucking three models on the, on the elliptical.
Ladies, how you doing, huh?
Keep those knees bent.
You guys need a spot, huh?
Just give me 45.
I'll be out.
I'll be in the can for a couple of minutes.
You got your own fucking Lysol spray.
Oh.
Okay.
Well, you're in it.
You're a, you're a specific guy.
This is, this is going back a little bit, but I,
they, I guess they hadn't seen the four seasons.
The show.
And so we've been watching that.
Hey man, that Tina Fey.
She's something.
You know, listen, I, this is a little.
That's not really our speed either.
That's good.
It's good.
That's good.
Actors.
It's good writing.
He's got everybody.
I don't know one person that hasn't seen that and been like,
this is great.
You know what?
The Italian guy is so fucking good.
Sure.
Really good.
Um, but I just crushed this past couple of days.
Uh, only murders in the building.
Have you seen that?
Have you watched that?
Are you upset with it or something?
I don't know why you just took a swig like you were.
I'm not upset with it at all.
You're not thrilled with it.
What the?
I didn't know.
Oh yeah, that's right.
I think you helped me with that audition.
Who'd you read for?
Martin Short?
Who's fantastic in it, by the way.
Gave it to goddamn Meryl Streep.
You believe that?
Broad put his shirt on.
You're shirtless in the read.
What's up?
I'm H Foley.
I sleep without my shirt on and I don't care who knows it.
I can't remember what it was.
It was pretty juicy though.
Would have been all right.
Okay.
I have been wanting to watch it.
Listen, Martin Short is-
I mean, come on.
But it's so good because he's playing an ex-old famous guy, which is funny.
Okay.
So it's just like a heightened version of an Upper West Side successful guy who's
not successful.
That's awesome.
And he's just fucking-
I mean, he's so funny.
I'd love to be at a point where I can call Martin Short Marty.
Marty.
Keep going.
All right.
Let's get into it.
Speaking of, you know, family beef me and you right now.
Sure.
Sure.
Just like getting bumping heads.
Brotherly love.
Didn't we have a nice talk this weekend?
I thought we did.
I don't think so.
Maybe it was a few days ago.
Or a couple-
A week ago.
When?
Didn't we have a nice talk?
On the phone?
Yeah.
Hey, what's going on?
That was a pretty bad call.
If that's a good call for you, you did lose your face ball.
He kept trying to extend the call going, what'd you say?
What was that?
I hear something in the background.
I'm going, no.
I was just saying goodbye.
All right, because you're breaking up.
I just don't, you want to double che