Name: The Worst Vacation in America | Are You Garbage | Stand Up Comedy Crowd Work (2025)
Uploaded: 2025-06-17T21:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Worst Vacation in America | Are You Garbage | Stand Up Comedy Crowd Work (2025)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-17. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Worst Vacation in America | Are You Garbage | Stand Up Comedy Crowd Work (2025)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-17. Transcript available.

You guys want to play a little R.U. Garbage?
Portland, you want to play a little R.U. Garbage?
What was the last vacation you went on?
California.
California. Where'd you go?
Bakersfield.
Bakersfield?
What?
What, did you stop by a meth cookery?
I had to drop off a shit ton of cold medicine at these guys.
They got a 7-Eleven theme park out there you just can't miss.
What the fuck were you doing in Bakersfield?
What are you wearing? A wire? Shut the fuck up.
He wasn't there for the sightseeing.
I think two people went and one came back.
Okay.
Jesus.
This guy's just yelling out his hobbies?
Jesus Christ.
It's a family show, sir.
Yeah.
I got factor endorsements I got to keep.
Tony did just get up and run out of the building, though.
Scatter!
All right.
Okay.
Vacation in Bakersfield.
Okay, yeah.
All right.
All right.
All right.
Okay.
All right.
Yeah, go ahead.
Where'd you go before that, Guantanamo Bay?
All right.
Brad's question.
Are you garbage if you let your voicemail get full so the collection agencies
can't bother you?
This guy's doing high-level chess over here.
Who still has a fucking answering machine?
Hey, what's up?
This is Brad.
Psych, I'm not here.
Leave a message.
And if you're Visa, go fuck yourself.
Yeah.
You can suck my dick.
I'm in Bakersfield by now.
Good luck trying to find me.
Give it up for Brad and Tony, everybody.
Let the boys hear it.
You fucking dirtball.
I love this.
Man, I told you you fucking Portland came to play.
No, I didn't get those messages.
I have no idea what you're talking about.
Ah, the machine's full.
Sorry.
Home run, buddy.
Thank you.
Where is, uh, Stephen Jay?
Oh, boy.
Okay.
Just the man I was looking for.
Who are you here with, bud?
His wife.
I know that much.
Your old roommates?
Okay.
Good friends.
Okay.
How long did you guys live together?
Two years.
Two years?
Did...
Who, who...
Did you live with a couple?
Are these your parents?
Hold on.
Easy.
Let's take it nice and slow there, Stevie.
Man, he's already on his heels.
He's like, no, no, no.
I didn't like that.
I've never been to Baker's Meals.
You and your boy live together?
I did.
Okay.
And then he started dating his lady that's with him, and then you guys...
What the fuck?
I got it.
I understood.
They kicked you the fuck out, is basically what you're saying.
I worked here, yeah.
Okay.
All right.
And how...
Did you live with them at any point when it was them two?
Not together.
Okay.
Okay.
And how long have you been married?
No, they're not.
They're dating.
I'm sorry.
I said wife.
Okay.
All right.
And you guys live together?
Yeah.
And how long have you guys been dating?
Four years.
Four years.
And when did you guys move in together?
Last September.
Last September.
That's pretty good.
Normal progression.
Did you move into her place?
Did she move into your place, or did you guys both leave your individual places
and get
a place together?
That's very classic.
Okay.
All right.
All right.
This might be all right.
And what do you do for a living, buddy?
I'm an electrical engineer.
Electrical engineer.
And miss, what do you do?
I'm an electrical engineer.
Very nice.
Very nice.
Okay.
What are you studying?
Birds.
What the fuck?
Just when I thought they were normal.
I'm studying birds.
Did you just become possessed?
Yeah.
The devil!
Well, she seems like a lovely girl.
Yeah.
Get up the meds a little bit.
And big man, where did you go to school for electrical engineering?
Ohio State.
Ohio State.
All right.
Cool.
So?
I ate it.
Oh, shut up!
We're not at a game.
What possible beef could you have with Ohio State out here?
No, they're just mad he went to college.
Go read a book, nerd!
Okay, all right, all right, okay.
And now you guys have your own place together.
You have an apartment, you have a house?
It's a house.
You guys buy the house?
You're renting the house.
Okay.
What kind of car are you whipping around in, big guy?
Gotcha.
Snipe that shit.
Fucking Ohio State, my fucking ball sack.
A 97?
You better say fucking F-16 or something.
Yeah.
A 97 what, dude?
GFC Safari.
I don't even know what the fuck that is.
Hang on a second.
Kevin, do you have any money on you?
We've got to give this guy...
A 97?
Is it like...
I'm sorry, is it like restored?
Like, did you...
Oh, okay, so it's like a choice.
It's a steam engine?
It's a what?
Oh, a sleep-in.
That's your day-to-day?
You drive that?
You drive around a condo?
Yikes.
Okay.
This took a turn.
This guy's bonkos.
Let me ask you about your childhood a little bit.
When did you get out of Juvie?
Any weird pets growing up?
Any frogs?
Any snakes?
Any gerbils?
Hamsters?
Hamster, yeah.
Hamster.
And what was his name?
I don't even remember.
Okay.
Yeah.
Don't get too close.
Yeah.
And how did he meet his end?
Fell down the stairs.
Yeah, you remember that, don't you, motherfucker?
Fell down the stairs?
Is he an old lady?
Is this an episode of Murder, She Wrote?
Dude, a gerbil weighs like a half a pound.
It would not hurt itself.
He was drinking!
He's got problems!
I can picture the detective on the case.
Like, it looks like he was pushed.
I'm not going to lie to you.
He fell down the stairs.
Okay.
Yeah.
All right.
I mean, I feel pretty good to move forward.
I agree.
Okay.
Is it garbage if you cleaned car parts in your dishwasher?
Hold on.
P.S.
My girl is finding out about this right now.
Give him a round of applause, everybody.
Hey, the lasagna tastes funny to you last night.
P.S.