Name: EMT Saves a Comedy Show | Are You Garbage | Stand Up Comedy Crowd Work (2025)
Uploaded: 2025-06-24T21:00:07.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'EMT Saves a Comedy Show | Are You Garbage | Stand Up Comedy Crowd Work (2025)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'EMT Saves a Comedy Show | Are You Garbage | Stand Up Comedy Crowd Work (2025)' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-24. Transcript available.

Because John's question is, are you garbage if you skipped your community
college night class to come to the show tonight?
If that's not the most are you garbage thing I've ever heard.
You're 24 years old, you're still cutting class, man.
I'll give you a note for the teacher.
Please excuse John.
Were you smoking weed out of a Coke can in the parking lot before you got in
here?
Don't tell my parents, man.
What was the class?
That's you should go to the paramedic class.
I don't know, CPR, some stupid shit.
He only knows how to put one defibrillator on.
Can't put that on his forehead.
I missed that class.
He's doing it.
Clear!
He does it to himself.
I missed class.
I went to the comedy show.
He's freaking out.
My man.
Community college, huh?
How's the football team this year?
They're probably all hurt on the sideline.
What?
What?
Are you going to be a paramedic?
Ultimately in the fire department.
In a fire department.
Gotcha.
Okay.
Did you go to regular college?
Yes.
So you have a four year degree?
No.
No.
I'll take over the answers from here.
There is no way in hell.
He has a four year degree.
He's like, you know what?
I'm going back to community college.
Where?
What was the school that you attempted?
And how long were you in there?
I went to the boy in green.
And I did four and a half years.
Four and a half.
And you still don't have your.
I stand corrected.
What the hell were you doing?
Not going to class.
Okay.
But now you want to be.
Now you want to be a firefighter.
And you're knuckling down.
Except for tonight.
How many classes have you missed?
My man.
It was the first class too probably.
I don't even have the book yet.
Fuck that class.
And what does.
What does your girl do?
She's a nurse.
She's a nurse.
Okay.
Very nice.
Nurse.
Did you ever miss any classes?
Yeah.
That's why you got your fucking house and shit.
He's going to night school.
Living at home.
Night school.
She's doing all his projects for him.
And shit like that.
He's going up there.
I got a project in the morning.
She's like, what the fuck?
What the hell is a solar system?
Driving you to the arts and crafts store.
At fucking 8pm on a Tuesday.
Give him a big round of applause.
What a home run.
My man.
Thank you guys.
Thank you for coming big dog.
I used to get that shit.
How long did you know you had to do the fucking project?
You can't scream that on the way to Michael's Arts and Crafts store.
Patty Foley on a Wednesday night at 9 watching Dallas just freaking out on me.
I don't even know what the hell a diorama is.
You're like, I don't know why.
Or a diaphragm.
I still don't know what that is.
No joke.
All right.
Okay.
Okay.
All right.
Amanda's question.
Is it garbage if instead of childcare your mom dropped you off at an amusement
park all day
and just left you there?
Jesus.
She was 12 and your brothers were 8.
What was the name of the park?
Ball of the Rates.
All right.
Now Akron's doing pretty good.
I knew it wasn't fucking Disney World.
I can tell you that.
Let them fucking hear it one time.
Yeah.
Home run, Amanda.
Jesus Christ.
Wow.
This one's just funny.
This is from Dan O.
It's always funny.
That's why we talk.
It's Siskel and Ebert over there.
I know.
What the fuck?
Thank you, fellas.
We appreciate that.
I don't care.
I feel like some of you are just like coming to consciousness for the first
time ever.
Just like, what the fuck's going on?
These two fat fucks are really good.
I literally did this with them for like three minutes already.
Thank you, boys.
No, I think the one guy's not a fan and the other guy's going, no, I'm having a
good time.
Fair enough.
Okay.
We have time for one more and then we got to go.
Where is Dan O.?
How are you, big dog?
I'm good.
Thanks for coming.
Do you like the show?
Dan, who's cutting your hair these days?
Ricky up the street.
Okay.
You said that like we all went to school together.
How's his mom doing, Ricky?
She still got that one bad knee?
Ricky up the street.
Oh, man.
Just down the road a piece.
How much is Ricky charging you for a cut these days?
40.
40.
What do you leave in tip?
Whatever 25% is.
I don't know.
Ricky ain't good at math.
I got a few.
Just give him a tire if you got it.
It's like buying Bitcoin a decade ago.
Do you just get a straight cut or you do the shampoo and all that stuff?
Just a cut.
Okay.
When you get a haircut, can you go out afterwards or do you have to go right
home and take a shower?
Right home and take a shower.
Classy gentleman.
Okay.
Okay.
That was a shot at me for sure.
I did that last week.
Yeah, it was.
Nicely played, my friend.
Uh, all right.
Huh.
I got one more.
I never seen his broad in my life.
Husband?
No, I'm definitely not reading it.
What are you talking about?
What is this?
What is this?
I normally don't do this, but I'm going to regret it for sure.
But what's the question?
Are you garbage if you use toothpaste as mouthwash, gargle and swallow to hide
it from your parents?
What?
I've been doing coke for 20 years.
I don't know.
Listen.
Have you heard these animals?
It's like, that's very vanilla.
Toothpaste as mouthwash?
Some of these guys haven't brushed their teeth in four or five years.
Wait, it's like the goddamn Coliseum out here, all right?
Just sit back before they give you this.
We're working on borrowed time up here anyway.
This guy's about to fucking riot over here.
He hasn't had fun since fucking Jump Street.
Give her a nice round of applause, everybody.
Well, we've got to finish up on Ricky here.
I got one.
Have you ever eaten after 9 p.m.?
Woo, baby, you are bad.
I haven't washed my underwear in two weeks.
I don't even have underwear on.
No, he doesn't.
I got a haircut before I came.
Let's finish up with the big dog.
What kind of work do you do?
I'm a therapist.
Very nice.
I'm done talking to you.
Got you, bitch.
All right, very cool.
You do Zoom or you do in person?
Both.
Okay.
What are your charts for a session?
Both.
One ten.
What a 25% tip, I assume.
Well, remember from before, Ricky?
Okay.
This is off the rails.
Fair enough.
What do you, where did you go to school for that?
College outside Pittsburgh.
What was the name of it?
Just called college.
It's called college outside of Pittsburgh.
It was a safety school.
What was the name of it?
Here at College College.
We're invested in your future.
Our 25-year plan will get you an associate's degree before you know it.
Take it from me, I'm Ricky from down the street.
Cleveland, we fucking love you.
We gotta go.
Thank you, guys.
We're gonna be out front for a meet and greet.
We love you.
Thank you so much.
We'll be out front for a meet and meet and meet again.
We'll be out front for a meet and meet again.
We'll be out front for a meet and meet again.
We'll be out front for a meet and meet again.
We'll be out front for a meet and meet again.
We'll be out front for a meet and meet again.