Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Trashy Cars Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-06-29T23:00:35.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Trashy Cars Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Trashy Cars Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-06-29. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Trashy Cars Edition w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Merch alert, merch alert, merch alert.
Look out.
Just in time for summer.
Well, almost halfway through.
Either way, we got some hot new teas coming at you, gang.
You got Kippy's King of the Burbs.
Oh, Handyman Services.
Look at that.
We got Aunt Tootie's Department of Sanitation getting involved.
Join the union.
Let's go.
And then Uncle Hank's Hot Dogs.
Aw, near and dear to my heart, Uncle Hank's Hot Dogs.
Grab and let her hot, kids.
And then the Garbage University.
Boom, established 2020 when we started the show.
Available at RUGarbage.com.
Limited supplies.
Get on what I list.
We love yous.
Love yous.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
Amen.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find
that it's a group to be classy.
Yeah.
Just a big old piece of trash.
Garbage.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful summer day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She's in the backyard running through the sprinkler.
Okay.
Topless.
Cool.
Cool.
Hello.
Jugs out.
Mike Coes is coming at you from across the table.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
He is an international businessman, and thank God, my best pal in the whole
wide world, and I love him.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Shout out to you.
As always, thanks for tuning in.
Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Also, full video available over there on Spotify.
Nice little platform they got where the boys are boop, boop, boop, boop, boop,
cooking.
In the charts.
Yes.
We're doing well over there.
Just got the reports.
Everything is going well.
Also, I got baby on the brain, dude.
I am mush mouth over here.
Go to the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
Slash RU Garbage.
You go over there, you get all that bonus content.
Plus, the back on the block tour is coming up, and tickets are moving.
Second show added in San Francisco.
Low tickets in Boston.
I don't think we're adding second shows in a lot of these places due to the
routing, so
get your tickets while they lay.
Yes, sir and gang, we're here for what we call a family episode.
Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies.
But before we get to that, let's stop by the old corner office over there and
say hey
to our good pal, Mr. Luke Dempsey.
Luke Dempsey.
How are you guys doing?
Just happy to be here.
There he is.
Look at him.
He's got a nice little corner over there.
He's all set up.
Little Nepo baby in the corner there.
He's keeping one eye on the Asian markets and one eye on the podcast.
What's Bitcoin at right now?
Now, if I'm not wrong, is that you and JFK I see in the back?
That's actually my grandfather.
Oh, wow.
Okay.
This guy's doing well.
The Dempsey Group.
Look at you.
You're doing well for yourself.
This guy does all.
I don't listen.
All jokes aside, Luke's got a corner now, and I didn't sign.
That looks expensive.
We got custom Dempsey Group signs made.
How much does this cost to me?
You can't see the desk.
It's crazy.
He's got a mahogany desk.
That's nicer than any desk.
That's like a banker's desk.
It's like Sam Adams over there.
I love how we spend $800 on something that's not on camera.
Him and Ryan.
Ryan's got a credit card, and that's bad news.
Luke lives a charmed life.
The kid does all right.
He works hard.
The Dempsey Group moves.
Steps into shit this kid.
Born rich.
Going to be rich.
Going to die rich.
My kids are going to be rich.
But that's neither here nor there, gang.
We're here for a nice theme episode.
Fun time today.
Yes.
Talking about cars.
You don't say.
Trashy cars.
Well, this all, yes.
This all stemmed because someone at the table, you know, is in the market for a
car, I hear.
That's true.
This is very much, this is a very, you know, this is a toe into Foleyville.
If I don't know what to do, I'm thinking Rolls Royce, I'm thinking.
You try to be a man of the people.
I mentioned an Audi.
I know.
I'm kidding.
By the way, I should tell you, I got about five days before the lease is up,
and I got
to turn this car in.
So I got to make a move.
And the guy says he's going on vacation.
I think they're screwing me, trying to get me into another lease.
Sure.
He's jamming me up.
Mm-hmm.
You want me to buy.
I don't want.
Listen, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
He wants me to buy an old taxi.
He'd make good money on his side.
You're a hack.
Listen, don't you always say, no, I'm to say this.
I'm not saying this.
I'm saying look at things a little differently.
It is very you to go, I want something nicer than what you currently have.
I don't.
Except shirts for some reason.
You haven't done that about clothes.
But with everything else.
Yeah.
I got to make a decision.
You've been a Jeep man since.
Jeep man.
All the way through.
We were Maximus in the 90s when they were hot.
Your mom was a Maximus.
Ay, caramba.
Her and Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Man.
It hit me one day.
I guess I don't.
Find out what year.
What was she in?
Buffy?
No, that was Sarah Michelle G.
She was a party of five.
Find out what year party of five was.
Late 90s.
Yeah, I guess I wasn't maybe fully sexually turned on.
Sure.
You know?
And I guess I just missed her.
It was all goldfish and dinner rolls.
Amen.
But I saw a picture of her one time when I was in something when I was like 15.
And I went, who the?
You're the most beautiful girl in the whole wide world.
Beautiful.
Fannins.
1994.
Yeah, 94.
I was eight.
Way to keep it classy.
I mean, I'm talking.
Jennifer Connelly, too.
Man.
Yeah, I was old.
I was younger.
She was old.
I was into the teeny boppers.
Love her.
But this is getting sultry real quick.
Her and Bea Arthur.
You know Bea Arthur?
Yeah, I know Bea Arthur.
From Golden Girls?
Yeah.
I always had a thing for her.
You guys graduated together, didn't you?
Anyway, that's neither here nor there.
We're talking about cars, talking about vehicles.
Trashy, trashy vehicles.
And I've had a lot of them.
Uh-huh.
All right.
So if I want to get a Jeep, I should be able to get a Jeep.
No one's saying you can't get a Jeep.
My mom wants me to buy the lease that I have now.
Well, that's not a bad idea.
The fucking fuel pump went at 15,000 miles and the dash don't work.
What do you mean the dash don't work?
It fritzes out.
Uh-huh.
It's like a Russian space show.
Fucking get me up there.
It's like the guys in Apollo 13.
There's a bunch of guys in a room.
They dump out stuff in a box.
We need to fit this into this with this material.
Man, I keep catching Armageddon like the last 45 minutes.
Like the past week, every day I've been catching it.
Man, that shit.
It's a busy week, huh?
You're just yelling at me.
I don't know what I did all week.
Caught Armageddon four times.
Passive viewing.
It's on in the gym.
Is that what you call your kitchen?
Listen, why don't you?
So you don't want to buy that?
Well, listen, we were never leased people.
We were buy used car people.
That's who we are.
My mom didn't have a new car until, I mean, this show was probably on the air
when she got
her first new car.
Always leased people.
And I know it's not the right way to go.
I don't know.
I mean, Luke, get some.
I'm sure we've done this.
But what is better, to lease or to buy?
I think it's all use.
It's probably, you know, how many miles you plan on putting it on.
I think it's if you're a dirtbag or not.
No, I don't think so.
Because I think if you're like a sales guy, we're like, you know, like Phil X,
he's in
the car all the time doing sales.
So it's like, yeah, I'm not buying a car to beat the shit.
I'll buy a car, beat the shit.
I'll lease a car, put on the miles, and turn it in.
Can I say this?
You know what sucks?
One thing about the time that we live in.
What?
As we're adult men now.
You know what I mean?
My goddamn father.
That's right.
You are.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
And you know what I was thinking the other day.
I got to think safety.
I think safety when I think cars.
I need safety.
Volvo.
That's what you need.
Volvo was such financially well, but conservative, sound, smart.
The Volvo wagon.
I remember when I found out how much they were, and I'm like, you get a
Mercedes for that price.
Yeah, but you get in them, and they're very rigid.
I don't know if I've ever been in one.
My buddy's mom had one.
Yeah, my buddy's mom had one.
Hot?
No.
Okay.
Fair enough.
He was all right.
Fuck.
What was I going to say?
God damn it, Kevin.
Buying the lease.
Buying the lease.
Do they give you a price break if everything's broken on it?
No, this guy's banging me out, and he's making it sound like that he's doing me
a favor.
He's like, hurry up with this, because I'm doing some, I'm waving.
I got Armageddon's on.
I'm waving some refund or something like that, and he's going on vacation.
They get you with that.
There's always some.
But I get to pull it and pull out.
No money down.
He wanted to charge me $1,500.
I was like, spread that over to lease, buddy.
You know what I'm talking about?
I'm not going and giving you $1,500 with my mother's hard-earned money.
I had to do that with the Kia.
I had to put down, I think, like $1,000 or something.
Listen, it's a goddamn miracle that I didn't need my mother to fucking co-sign
the car.
Sure.
Let's start there.
I mean, you walked in two days ago or something bragging like you just got a
house.
You got approved for a fucking Jeep with a bad fuel pump and a wire harness.
What are you talking about?
What I was going to say is I wish that we lived in the time that our dads lived.
My Uncle Mike, company car.
Sure.
I think they still do that.
I don't think so.
Yeah, you get like, we should all get the same car.
They're all doing like black Ford Focuses or Ford Tauruses.
That's what they do.
No, Impalas.
We should all get Impalas.
I don't think they're still making Impalas like that.
I don't think so.
I mean, they made them and then, was your Uncle Mike had an Impala?
No, he always got a nice new cutlass with wire wheels.
Smoked the hell out of that thing.
What the hell was he, a pimp?
He had a cutlass with fucking 100 spokes?
It's crazy, dude.
That was popular back then.
Was he tipping on faux-fos?
We had wire wheels for a little while.
Whoa.
And a Pontiac.
Wire wheels and white walls.
I used to have to go out and scrub the white walls.
What's the matter with the car?
My dad was racing for pink slips.
My loom, my original loom had white hubcaps, 96 white Chevy Lumina, white hubcaps,
which,
man, is a tough look.
When one of those goes?
Dude, it was a white, and it got so dirty.
It was a white hubcap and then had, not a white wall, but a white thin, not
thin, but
probably like a half an inch, like a small white wall around the whole thing.
And that got dirty.
I'm not good with white stuff.
You got to scrub them.
I know.
I'd go out there and scrub, but then you'd armor all the tires.
That would leak into the white.
It was a whole thing.
We had a whole system in the 80s.
My cousin Joe, my cousin Patrick, they always had, you know, cool cars, and it
was always
that he sent us out there.
What do you mean cool cars?
You know, they had like a nice Pontiac.
One of them had a Trans Am.
And when they'd babysit, the first thing we had to do was go out there, take a
Brillo
pad and clean, do the white walls.
Yeah.
That's the first thing we did.
Then they'd roll the keg in the back with all the boys, a couple of broads.
We'd start serving beers.
And then about 45 minutes into that, they'd make me and my brother fight with
our shirts
off in a circle in the living room.
It's hot.
These guys still banging?
It's a good time, man.
First time I saw Delirious, Eddie Murphy.
And it's funny because I had like 103 people.
This is the coolest party in the world.
First time I got my first blowjob, too.
Shou