Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Losing the Room w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-07-02T23:00:34.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Losing the Room w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-02. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Losing the Room w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-02. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Losing the Room w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Merch alert, merch alert, merch alert.
Look out.
Just in time for summer.
Well, almost halfway through.
Either way, we got some hot new teas coming at you, gang.
You got Kippy's King of the Burbs.
Oh, Handyman Services.
Look at that.
We got Aunt Tootie's Department of Sanitation getting involved.
Join the union.
Let's go.
And then Uncle Hank's Hot Dogs.
Aw, near and dear to my heart, Uncle Hank's Hot Dogs.
Grab and let her hot, kids.
And then the Garbage University.
Boom, established 2020 when we started the show.
Available at RUGarbage.com.
Limited supplies.
Get on what I list.
We love yous.
Love yous.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we
find that it's a good to be classy.
Yeah.
Or just a big old piece of trash.
Garbage.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She, unfortunately, has another new case of athlete's foot.
But don't ask me where it is.
All right.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table.
This is what we call a family episode.
Uh-huh.
Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies like to circle the wagons a little bit.
Check in.
Get everybody straightened out.
Man, you're like a bad fucking high school counselor, dude.
Shut up.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, what's up, everybody?
Shout out to you.
International businessman.
Woo.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
You know what?
Who even cares about iTunes anymore?
The real deal's over there on Spotify.
Man, talk about old news.
We're cruising.
Might as well be a phonograph.
I know.
That's, dude, iTunes.
We're on the radio, baby.
iTunes is, what's the company that had Zoom before Zoom and dropped the ball?
It was like the pandemic came and whatever.
You got, poof, yikes.
A clunk.
More after this.
I got baby brain, dude.
Spotify, obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
You go over there, you get up to two bajillion hours worth of content.
That was my last report I got.
Love that money.
And then obviously, guys, we're going back on the road come the fall and the
summer.
I'm putting the baby in his room, locking the door.
We're going on the road.
Kids are back.
You got to be sitting in a hot car for a little while.
Daddy's got to go bomb.
I got to go do okay in Cleveland.
We're not Cleveland.
We're just in Cleveland.
I know.
Shout out to Hilarities.
Yeah.
Get your tickets.
We fucking love you.
Chomp.
This is the longest we've taken off the road.
I'm chomping at the bit to get back out there.
Get on the road.
Get in a van.
Get with the boys.
You know what I mean?
I'm very excited.
Excited.
Are we using the van for this?
For what?
For the tour.
What are we using the van for, right?
Yeah, not everywhere.
Of course.
I don't think it's making it to Seattle, but, you know.
It'd be cool if it did.
I mean, we'll just rent a van at that point to pay diesel to drive for us.
Get some weed out there.
Bring my acoustic guitar.
Start the fucking scene back up, man.
You would.
Get sub pop going again.
You would in a heartbeat.
Remember at the end of Rockstar when he went in, they were alluding to him,
like, starting
the grunge revolution?
Is that what they did?
Pretty much.
Listen.
Or he was getting into it.
He had his hair cut, or he had his hair like Kurt Cobain's.
He was at a coffee shop in Seattle with an acoustic guitar talking about his
feelings.
I don't, I didn't read into that and listen.
Really?
I love that last scene.
Because then Jennifer Aniston comes in.
Listen, I understand this.
At her most.
Jennifer Aniston.
Listen, that was, I, me and my boys used to watch that movie relatively unironically.
What do you mean?
What do you mean, what do I mean?
Not, I mean, it's a bad movie.
It's a, it's a very bad movie.
I think you're crazy.
I think it's a great movie.
Okay.
I mean.
Man, I've been really watching it unironically.
What are you talking about?
What do you mean?
Patty.
That's a bad movie.
How is that a bad movie?
What's it got?
I mean, give me some review.
I think she.
Rockstar?
She got panned.
They cut her out of most of it.
Aniston.
What are you talking about?
Listen, I'm not.
First of all, you didn't produce the movie.
Relax.
I love the movie.
It means a lot to me.
I can quote most of them.
It means a lot to you.
Sure.
You were fucking 42 when that thing came out.
It means a lot to you.
You were.
There's still hope for me.
All I got to do is be singing it sometimes.
Stand up and shout.
I don't got those pipes.
Don't, don't, don't, don't.
Stand up and let it out.
I always identified with the, uh, the manager.
The wigs were bad.
I mean, that, everybody stunk in that.
What are you talking about?
It should have been up for an Academy Award.
That was Zach Wilde's acting debut.
Who's Zach Wilde?
I don't care what you do.
Just keep your dick away from me.
And you call yourself a fan, a rock star.
Hey, wow.
He was fucking melting faces on it.
Had the whammy bar, all that shit.
How about the dude getting the blood transfusion right before the show?
That's going to be us.
I love the girl who was in.
Be doing that in Vermont in three years.
Burlington.
All hopped up on a weird pizza we ate.
Playing some small rock club.
Hang on a second.
Got the fucking diffuser going back there.
Quick transfusion.
I'll be all right.
You're sitting next to a couple eating coffee, drinking coffee.
It's not even like, it's not even a show.
It's an open mic.
Yeah, I mean, that movie was, I think, at the time,
panned.
It's more of a cult classic.
Cult classics typically aren't.
It got generally positive reviews.
Really?
Yeah.
Generally positive reviews.
Signed H. Foley.
Really?
The Google review users are saying 82% liked it.
Rotten Tomatoes, there's multiple Rotten Tomatoes.
Recently, it seems to be at 83, but it was hovering around 55, I believe,
a while ago.
By the way, I wanted to tell you something.
That wasn't his best movie.
Whose best movie?
Wahlberg's?
Does Wahlberg have a movie?
I was Wahlberg-ing that.
Is that Donnie?
He granted the part.
What are you talking about?
I'm kidding.
I didn't say he, you said he had no good movies.
Don't fucking put that X on me.
I didn't say that.
Yeah, you did.
This guy did.
The right of my mouth did it.
That guy's a poor big asshole.
Hey, listen, you're a young kid.
I wanted to tell you something.
You're really relying too much on this AI shit.
You in the chat GPT and all this stuff, the AI reviews, you're going to it too
much.
What are you relying on?
I'm telling you right.
You're relying on feel, and buddy, you're off.
Old school instincts.
I knew it was going to rain today three weeks ago.
And cheesesteak egg rolls.
Old school instincts.
And an appetizer sampler.
Hey, you want to do something, you do it right.
I want to get some of this grease in me.
Just call me fucking Foley the Almanac.
You guys cooking.
I'll tell you when it's going to snow in three years.
Guys, we're going to have a big crop season.
Hunker down.
We got bugs.
I don't like those potato skins.
I got a bad feeling about the car.
Start the car.
We got to get the hell out of here.
A locust, as far as the eye can see.
Man, a guy that can predict the future only when he eats it.
I'm going to do your side of marinara stat.
See if I can save the world.
Oh, God.
Anyway, watch it, all right?
You're getting too caught up in it.
You're going to this guy for everything.
They're singing, are you going to be in here making out with a fucking AI robot?
After I get a piece.
Where are they coming?
I'm sure they're here already.
Nah, not realistic.
I want someone that's going to bitch at me.
I'm busting my balls.
Anyway.
Sidetracked.
I apologize.
For what?
I don't know.
I haven't seen you in a couple of days.
I know.
I don't like your squirrely.
It gets squirrely.
Listen, I haven't talked to an adult.
I've been doing goo goo ga ga and fucking changing diapers.
I'm fucking in the weeds over here.
How tired are you?
I was up today.
Because it seems like you've broken through it.
I mean, shout out to all the parents out there.
I don't know how you fucking do it.
Give it up for the troops.
What are you doing?
Just saying.
Where are my teachers at, huh?
You start hamming it up.
I mean, I can barely get past myself.
Uh-huh.
You, buddy, you've...
I'm not past myself.
Yeah, yeah.
You shouldn't be in charge of yourself.
If it was up to me, I'd have the government step in.
So what I'm saying is...
I was up from 1 to 5.30 today.
So after...
I went back to bed at 5.30 for about 90 minutes.
I had to get on in.
And I'm up.
And then I'm here.
And someone was late today.
So I'm sorry if I had a little bit of a fucking dude on.
But it's been over a week.
So have you, like...
Been over a week?
With the baby.
Or two weeks, whatever it's been.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Three weeks, yeah.
Three weeks.
So have you gone through it?
Like, are you...
No.
Have you broken past the tiredness is what I'm asking?
You're just...
It becomes...
Listen, I hate being the guy...
I'm not that guy.
I didn't like that guy when I was childless.
When I was barren.
I'm barren.
Stale womb.
It's just...
You're just forever tired.
I don't think your brain ever chemically gets back to what it was
prior to delivery.
Yeah, I don't like that.
See, I'm a little bit tired.
You're chained.
I'm...
Buddy, you're tired.
I'm a little bit tired right now.
But I don't know if you've talked to yourself.
You're tired.
Looking at you, I'm tired.
You're old.
You're old and tired.
But I...
You're just...
And then, because the sad thing...
Not the sad thing.
The scary thing is you're like, oh, there is...
And no...
There's...
The lifeboat ain't coming to get you.
That sucks.
They burned the boats.
You're out there.
That sucks.
You're just out there until the kid turns fucking 16 or something.
Trying to figure out his wee-wee.
If you wanted to get eight hours somewhere, what would you have to do?
Fucking go to Fallujah or something.
Eight hours?
I gotta go for smokes if you catch my drift.
Yeah.
Eight hours ain't...
That's...
Forget it.
Nah.
Yeah.
You have to be on the road.
Yeah.
Would've been nice.
Fucking Luke, get the fucking suits on the phone.
Let's go to fucking Tuscaloosa or something.
Book that coffee shop.
Can't sell that market.
Sleepy time tour.
Oh, man.
That's pretty good.
The sack time tour?
Get some shut-eye.
Shut-eye two-city tour?
Oh, man.
Yeah, it's tough.
You're just in it, you know?
Yeah.
Trashy, trashy parents.
I like that you had the baby in the summer.
Can I say that?
Yeah, it wasn't a choice.
I know.
I don't know why.
Just that feels like...
It has like a 70s old school vibe to me.
You know what I mean?
No.
Having the baby in the summer.
Sure, okay.
Now, newborn baby in the summer.
I wasn't alive in the 70s.
I don't understand the baby's feel in the 70s.
I wasn't alive in the 70s either.
Hey, listen.
Just because you don't understand what you're talking about doesn't mean I do
either.
I can't just...
Maybe it's like a That 70s show vibe.
I don't know.
There's no babies in that show.
You're missing the point.
We're talking about babies.
We can't talk to this guy.
Chat GTP him.
Whatever.
All that's neither here nor there.
Switch screwing up.
We got to get into it.
Yeah.
We got a Guy Starr and Family episode, gang.
As you know, when you join the old Patrione over there, the world's greatest
website,
you get your garbage question answered on the air.
And we got one, two, three heaters coming at you.
Talk to me.
Being a summertime, 70s.
Bingo.
There you go.
Summertime.
Look at that.
Babies.
This is from Evan G.
$10 groupie.
Guys, it garbage to work as an HVAC tech, but tell people you work in sales s