Name: Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Babies at the Bar w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-07-30T23:00:10.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Babies at the Bar w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-30. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Babies at the Bar w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-07-30. Transcript available.

Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast: Babies at the Bar w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Woo! Who don't love a good podcast preview?
Kimmy, what's a teaser today?
You're looking at it, baby!
A teaser!
Podcast preview!
Beew! Beew!
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Hey, yeah!
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find
that it's good to be classy.
Yeah!
But you're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash!
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition.
She's out collecting cans.
Okay.
Doing pretty well for herself.
That's pretty good.
Doing pretty well for herself.
Good for her.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table, unamused this week.
I lived!
That's four hours of my day down the drain.
No big deal.
That's all you got done.
That's all a lot of hard work.
Since I was watching Apocalypse Now redo, that's like three and a half hours
long.
Tooties aren't going to write themselves.
This is what we call a family episode, ladies and gentlemen.
Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is a new dad.
He is a business owner.
He is a homeowner.
He is the king of the burbs.
Look at him.
Fighter of the year.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Shout out to you.
First of all, thanks for tuning in.
Medium Kippy.
Me, slim, little, slim in the butt.
I don't buy those are mediums.
I believe you, but I don't buy it.
This one's a large.
Okay.
Swimming it.
I was about to order a Big Mac.
Not doing so great, eh?
Shout out.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Full video available over there on Spotify.
And the boys are fucking climbing the charts over there.
Watch out.
We're coming for that number 11 spot.
We're getting there.
We're getting there.
We're coming for your number 13.
Obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
Also want to say over there,
the boys are at an all-time high on Patreon.
Shout out to the homies.
Creeping up on that 15K where we're going to go shoot each other.
With real guns.
If everything.
I'm using real bullets for sure.
With paintball.
Yeah.
That's not how you say it.
You're going to play paintball.
You don't go shoot each other with paintball.
Shoot each other with paintball guns.
Yeah.
Are we not going to shoot each other?
You're going to try.
We've got to recruit teams, too, by the way.
That was the big thing.
I got a couple of guys.
A couple of Rogans, dudes.
Fucking doing barrel rolls over the top of cars.
And shit.
Lighten me the fuck up.
Da, da, da.
That's a guy getting a hand grenade.
Hey, how about this?
Let's take a little walk by the corner office.
Say what's up to Lukey Patuky over here.
Ah, Mr. Dempsey.
There he is.
Hi, boys.
What is it?
Casual Friday with that shirt?
I've been trying to read that goddamn shirt all day, and it gives me a headache
every time.
Really complicated patterns.
What is it?
Some band?
In your defense, reading isn't your strong suit.
It's not that.
It's not that.
I can read.
It's all.
Says the guy.
The only guy who says that for sure can't read.
You and Floyd Mayweather.
No.
Read a full page of a Harry Potter book.
I couldn't do it.
I hate that Harry Potter shit.
We should try that on Patreon.
Oh, God.
I probably couldn't do it either.
That's too much.
Also, let him Gabriel Garcia Marquez.
I can't read his books either.
He uses the whole word.
I don't know who that is.
The whole name.
He wrote Love in the Time of Collar and Thousand Years of Solitude.
Hey, Thousand Island Dressing, zip it.
I like the Catalina Chronicles.
Are you a Catalina dressing man?
No.
You know what I want to talk about?
The shirt.
What's it say?
I don't even know.
Oh, God.
You're such a hipster.
No, but it's got the Yu-Gi-Oh characters on it.
Who the fuck is that?
It's a crazy company.
Who's Yu-Gi-Oh?
That's a guy I went to school with.
Jamie Yu-Gi-Oh.
A Russian kid.
Don't fuck with him.
Pasha Yu-Gi-Oh.
Took one to the back of the head in limelight one night, huh?
Down on Delaware Ave.
Delaware.
I was in limelight in the Lower East Side.
What?
Our previous guest and friend, Chaz Palmitari, was a bouncer there, right?
That's right.
So is my boy, Phil Frack.
Shout out.
My brother's boy.
Yeah.
Shout out to him.
Man, you're really moving the fucking goalpost on that.
My best friend in the whole world.
I met him one time.
I know Phil Frack.
What are you talking about?
Sure.
What's the shirt?
He doesn't know, man.
Where'd you get it?
Oh, my God.
Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.
It sucks, whatever it is.
Cheetos.
What does that mean?
I don't know.
It's very odd for you to wear that.
It's clearly Asian, man.
No one understands.
Is that what it is?
It's an amalgamation.
An amalgamation?
Hey, stop saying big words.
Isn't that a medal?
Anyway, if you wanted to stop by, say what's up to you, peek in a little bit,
see what's
going on.
Everything cool?
Everything's good.
I have, I'm sorry, I'm sorry to cut you off.
No, go ahead.
I'm just saying I don't know.
Can we move on from a t-shirt you don't understand?
I do in the corner office.
I got a job for him.
We need a fucking plant for you back there, by the way.
And some of those knockers on the table.
Now we're talking bits.
Get a set of canes, a little eye candy walking around.
Your new secretary, Ramona.
A little bit of caney walking around.
Now we're sexual harassment.
I have a new business proposition that we should run this up to Dempsey Group.
Okay.
I was, you know, as AYG is a subsidiary of, you know, the Dempsey Group and all
other
Are we going to ask his parents for money?
Yeah, they listen.
Hey, hit me up.
Let me get a little bit of cash.
I don't know if we've ever talked about this, but I was in, I don't know what
it would be.
This is more of like a think tank.
It's more of a little, we're doing Patreon a little bit.
Isn't that political, a think tank?
Nah, maybe.
I know it's not Yu-Gi-Oh.
I know Jimmy Yu-Gi-Oh ain't in it.
The shortstop?
They, uh, I was at a mall recently and there's a lot of-
Look at you.
There's things are going well.
Free AC in this heat.
I, uh, I don't have as far as you can ask for.
Uh, there are a lot of open mall kiosks and I thought it would be fun.
Have an AYG one.
No, not AYG, but me and you get at a kiosk and work it for a weekend of selling.
I don't know what we would sell.
What about selling AYG cards?
Yeah, but that's a little too like actually fun.
That's like actually our business.
We should, we should have to sell like cell phone cases.
Like, me and you should be, we should be mall kiosk guys.
Trying to get free samples, spraying people with cologne, whatever.
We got to come up with whatever product we're trying to push.
We have to get that product though.
See, those guys usually have connections to the Middle East.
To get those-
We got Jimmy Yu-Gi-Oh.
How do you think?
He's not connected down at the ports.
You think we can get our hands on some cheap cell phone cases?
Yeah, Amazon.
Yeah?
What's the markup going to be on that?
I don't know.
What's the lunch break situation?
It starts now.
Put these cameras in a bag.
Will we work it together or I have to go in and do a shift by myself?
No, we work it together.
We'd be having fun, grab ass and stuff.
All right.
Maybe a girl with a big set of cans walking.
I like that.
Whatever it is.
I know a good mall for that.
I want to sell those dogs that like flip.
Oh, that'd be awesome.
Or the frogs that swim.
Something like that.
I know a guy down at Canal Street that can hook us up with those.
Jimmy Frogs.
You know what I'm talking about?
The ones that swim?
Yeah.
Patty loves those.
Uh-huh.
She used to put it in the pool every year.
That was always her thing, to get a couple of those and a bunch of handbags.
Man.
Bunch of knockoff Gucci's.
Jesus.
Wasn't she on a bus trip?
Who the fuck's doing that?
Bunch of Loochies.
That's always the person that gets killed in law and order.
Down here on a bus trip to get cheap knockoff bags and a frog.
That was Patty's move.
That had a couple of other things.
She used to run when the cops would come and the guys would fold up the carpet
and take off.
Uh-huh.
Yeah, she'd be on the move.
Scatter!
She ends up in the back of a car with a bunch of those guys.
She's working comms.
She's on the lookout up in fucking next to Port Authority.
Fucking RPG in the sunroof.
That's too far.
And with ISIS real quick.
They're not ISIS.
They're not not.
It ain't the good old boys, right?
They ain't the Oak Ridge boys, you know what I'm saying?
They talking about they ain't ISIS.
What?
I need the fraternal order of police, I'll tell you that.
You know, for jobs, they have to be on the move real quick.
I never understood why they all wear flip-flops.
Buddy, get a tennis shoe on the fuzzies after you.
One of those guys, you throw on a hookah, they'll never catch you.
You'd be in your fucking jersey by the time a guy gets out of the car.
Those fat-ass cops.
They'd be across the GWB in a heartbeat.
Trying to outrun Officer Lazowski with fucking a busted flip-flop on?
Maybe it had a newspaper?
Get out of here.
Maybe that's how they do it.
They like to chase.
No, the grounded foot on the feet, you know what I mean?
Sure.
Also, yeah.
I need some comfort.
Get me an escalator.
I got a...
No way I would run.
No, I'm not even...
Hopping all that shit.
I'm not even a runner in my dreams.
I always hide whenever I'm getting chased.
I always hide.
Bitch.
A little puss.
A little puss puss.
I got something I wanted to run by you.
Please.
My door is always open.
Is that it with the offer?
What offers?
What did you want the Dempsey Group to do with that?
Find out what we can sell.
Or maybe fucking...
What do they say?
Sound off in the comments.
What could we...
What is a good that would be fun to try to sell, even if it's like a...
Hit up your own man.
Find out what we can sell.
Tell him to buy it.
Tell him to lock the location.
He's never been to a kiosk.
Me neither.
These guys probably owns a kiosk.
Probably who we have to cut the check to.
There you go.
Yeah, something...
Well, I don't know.
Some sort of cheap consumer product we can do a big markup on.
Fucking...
I like to flip the dogs.
Yeah.
Maybe it's something like that.
There's got to be something hot like that now.
Oh.
The LeBooBoo dolls.
What?
Really?
Yeah, it's like the new hot thing.
There's like...
Listen...
They're like collectibles.
I'm the new hot thing.
I don't know if you've seen...
But you hear about that guy that handles the Annabelle doll?
Yeah.
We found him in a hotel.
And the Annabelle doll wasn't in a hotel.
I don't know what you guys are talking about.
A demonic doll.
Spooky.
This guy that handles it was in a hotel with her.
That's fucking insane.
I'd be a little upset too at this fucking creepo is banging me out in a hotel
room.
I'd be a little demonic myself.
I'd have a bit of an edge to me.
Yeah, you got every right to be fucking pissed every picture out.
They found a guy dead in a hotel.
They don't know where the doll is.
I think that's the story.
Do they know where the doll is?
I think they know where the doll is.
I think he just had a heart attack in the room.
Yeah, no shit.
Oh, that pussy.
Oh, that scary pussy.
I'll scare the shit out of you.
Talk about dancing with the devil in the pale moonlight.
Doing the reverse minotaur or something.
I don't know what they do.
You're a freaky dicky.
All right.
Now, what'd you want to ask me?
Oh, God.
I, as you know, I'm a bit of a dirtbag myself, genetically in me.
Sure.
Right?
I can't shake it.
I am who I am.
That's why I love you.
Try to be a little bit of a better man, you know?
I got a future generation on my hands here.
I'm trying to lead by example.
You want them 