Name: Dusty Slay RETURNS! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-08-03T23:00:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dusty Slay RETURNS! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-03. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Dusty Slay RETURNS! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-03. Transcript available.

Dusty Slay RETURNS! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find
that it's a good to be classy.
See, but they're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in the new edition.
X-rays came back negative.
Okay.
It's only meniscus damage in her left knee, and Tootie will be ready for the
start of the NFL season.
I can't wait.
It's good for her.
Mike Coase is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world, and
I worked in that Tootie for like two hours and didn't even like it.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Shout out to you.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Also, full video available over there on Spotify.
And I got to be out.
We're climbing the charts over there on Spotify.
We're coming for that number one spot.
And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
Just past 15,000 Patreons over there.
Go check it out, gang.
Yes, sir.
And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean
incredibly special guest back with us again today.
We only got to the age of 19.
Yeah.
That's the level of garbage we're dealing with.
He is in the running for the king of garbage.
He's been talked about almost every episode since he's been here.
Sure.
He's got a brand new special out on Netflix right now, Wet Heat.
Do yourself a favor and give it up for Mr. Dusty Slay, everybody.
The king is back.
Well, I'm so pumped to be here.
This is the best podcast I've ever done.
Thank you.
You're saying people really liked it, and I was like, how would I ever do
another episode?
I almost was like, I'm afraid to do another episode because people would be
like, oh, he was garbage in his early life, but he couldn't keep it going.
I mean, listen, after 19, did you end up going to the Sorbonne or Oxford or
something like that?
No, no, no, no.
I kept it going.
I think we'll be all right.
Buddy, how are you?
Congrats on the special.
Thank you.
I'm doing great.
What's the number of this Netflix special?
Your second?
Your third?
It's my second Netflix special, but I do have a half hour that I did before.
Right.
Okay.
And then I also have an hour on YouTube, so, you know, it could be.
Guy's cranking out material.
He's killing it, man.
He's killing it.
Guy stands and delivers material.
I love the title, too.
Yeah, it's about a 70-minute special, and then this guy, I saw a comment.
Really fucking bragging over here.
I like 22 minutes myself.
Well, I find the negative comment.
This guy goes, oh, yeah, he did two old jokes, and they had to be like, and I
know one of them,
but it's a new setup for, I was like, I can do this.
It was on my Netflix half hour, but I was like, I could do this, and it'll help
get into this other thing.
But it's like 30 seconds of old jokes, and it's 70 minutes.
I could have just did 60.
60 and a half.
Right.
It's like, don't be upset about that 30 seconds.
Yeah, you rework stuff.
You find out all this fits over here.
This is a guy who doesn't have material for our new tour.
It's hard-right material.
No, I got fresh stuff in my pocket right now.
And it's not old.
It's certified pre-owned.
Right.
And it's also like the half hour, I felt like I didn't know if people really
saw it.
Sure.
Listen.
Yeah.
So I want them to see it.
It's one guy.
Yeah.
Get out of here.
And he deleted his comments.
Oh, man, you are.
I did comment.
I get on there.
I get into the comments.
You're in it deep.
I can't help it.
It might have had something to do with you swatting his house.
Yeah, that's so funny now, huh?
All right.
Let's get back into it.
All right.
Last we left you, you were 19.
You had signed up for the Army.
And then got immediately released because of a little smoking doobage, I think
is what it was.
Yeah.
Well, I got arrested for, I had weed and alcohol in the car.
Okay.
I was drinking in the car, but I wasn't, listen, I was ready to join the Army.
I was like, I was committed to that.
I was running.
I quit smoking cigarettes.
I was ready.
My recruiter was like, hey, you're about to join, you're about to go in, you're
about to get shipped off.
And he's like, I know you like to smoke weed.
So he's like, if you're going to do it, do it tonight because you'll get
shipped off in 30 days and you'll get another drug test.
That's a crazy thing for a recruiter to say.
Yeah, he did say, I shouldn't say this.
Fair enough.
All good ideas.
Follow that.
Listen, between me and you, I'll get fucked up.
And then I, so I went and hung out with some buddies and then we were going to
go meet these girls that I'd never met.
It's like a country song.
Yeah.
Go hang with some buddies, meet some girls.
I don't even know if the girls.
That was definitely an open field.
Yeah.
I don't even know if they were real because I didn't know them prior and I
never made it to their house.
Never met them.
And it never, we never followed up, you know.
That was a good old days when it was just like a group of, you know, just like,
oh, there's a group of girls at the next school.
Yeah.
They may or may not have existed.
Yeah.
And, you know, we were on our way out the door.
A buddy goes, hey, I got, you guys want these beers?
And he goes, I'm not going to drink them.
So me and my friend, we took the two.
All we had to do was not open them, you know.
Sure.
There was no reason to open them.
It was two beers?
Two beers.
One for me, one for him.
Gentlemen, you would think the army would want a kid like that.
This guy fucking parties.
He's ready to go.
You would think.
Yeah.
I don't know about that.
But on the way, we opened them.
And there was, you know, again, we could have just, because I thought, well,
this will be cool.
You know, we're pulling up to the girls' house.
We're drinking.
We're getting out of the car.
Look at us.
We've been drinking and driving.
That is pretty cool.
I got to get that.
Just joined the army.
What's up?
Yeah, I think so.
Ship it out tomorrow.
But, you know, but we get pulled over.
Because I'm on the interstate, and my exit is next.
The interstate.
Yeah.
My exit is next.
And the cop's there, and he's going real slow.
And I'm like, what do I do?
Do I go up?
I've got chicks on the line.
What?
He's driving?
Let's go.
He's driving.
And I pull up behind him, and I'm like, do I?
Hit the lights.
Right.
I'm like, do I pass him, and then immediately get off, or do I drive behind him
real slow?
Uh-huh.
So I kind of did both.
I drove behind him real slow, and then I go, I can't do this.
So then I went around.
This is suspicious.
Oh, you idiot.
I know.
That's crazy.
And then when I got off.
Cops don't like it when you pass them.
I know.
I know.
But I was like, he's going too slow.
It seems suspicious to ride behind him.
I do get that, too, though.
Yeah.
This is entrapment.
Yeah.
This is a setup.
Plus, you're high and drunk.
Right.
I'm losing my buzz here, bro.
Right.
If I'm sober, yeah, you just go right around.
Yeah.
It's not weird.
You risked the ticket.
Uh-huh.
You just drove in the middle lane real slow with your lights on, high beams on?
But I had the idea.
Somebody told me one time that if you're ever, if a cop's following you, just
pull over and
then take the keys out of the ignition, and then you're like, I'm not driving.
That's dirtbag logic, though.
Yeah, that doesn't work.
I don't know if it's true, but that's what someone told me.
How did you get here, sir?
I don't recall.
Yeah, exactly.
But that's what they say.
Sitting there eating your keys.
And I did use this a couple of times later in life, but this time I said, you
know what?
No, no.
I'm just going to keep going.
Uh-huh.
And then I got pulled over.
So did he pull you off?
Did he exit with you?
He exited with me and then pulled me over.
That's fucked.
And then I just had these two open beer bottles.
So I'm like, well, I could leave it here and just let him see it, or I could
stuff it
under the seat, let it spill out, and him smell it.
What did you do?
And that's what I did.
I stuffed it under the seat.
I respect that.
And then my friend had weed in his pocket, and he stuffed it in his beer bottle,
so then
it became mine, because it's in my car now.
He couldn't jump on that charge for you and go, hey.
Actually, his dad confronted me later, wanting me to take the charge for both.
Whoa.
Because his son had been in trouble with me a couple of times.
Oh, you're a bad apple.
That Dusty's a bad seed.
But it was him getting me in trouble.
Okay.
This time?
Both times.
Oh, really?
Yeah, I had a party at my house once.
This guy got-
Sounds like you're the best-
Sounds like-
It's your party at your house, Dust.
I don't know how to break that to you.
You're the bad guy.
So one time I kidnapped this lady.
All right.
Stay with me.
Yeah, this guy, and then a guy showed up that everybody was a little annoyed
with.
This is at the trailer?
This was at my mom's house.
House.
We moved out when I was 15 out of the trailer into a house, just in time to get
a driver's
license, so I didn't have to have Lot 8 Morse Trailer Park on my driver's
license.
Sure.
I remember that, yeah.
Which was good for me.
But really good for me.
Got me into Harvard.
But, you know, so I had a party, and this guy showed up that everybody was a
little annoyed
with, so my buddy, who was with me in the car, went over, smacks this guy, and
then the
guy leaves, and I think he called the police.
Oh, what a dick.
Yeah.
So anyway-
And the place got raided.
Yeah, and then the cops came.
How old were you at this time?
With the party?
17.
And what'd they do?
Well, they just came and busted the party, and it was cool.
There were some out-of-town girls there.
It was going to be a great night.
It was going to be a good night.
Yeah.
It was like one of the best-
Yeah, I feel like the South has a lot of out-of-town girls.
Out-of-town girls.
It was going to be a good one.
They made the drive-all.
They got on the interstate.
Yeah.
The whole night.
Officer, we got out-of-town broads here.
I got out-of-town trim on the way.
You're jamming me up.
And the cops were there, and I could see other people about to pull in, and
realizing the
cops were there.
I was like, this was going to get so good.
Yeah.
And then I got arrested.
Well, no, I didn't get arrested.
The cops just called my mom.
That's nice.
So my mom came home with her boyfriend, who was also drunk.
Hold on.
Where was your mom?
Was it away?
My mom, you know, she was at her boyfriend's house.
You threw a party when your mom was in town?
She would be gone for days at a time.
Okay.
So she was over there.
She stays over there.
That's out-of-town trim right now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We're all doing it.
We're all doing it.
Cut some out-of-town broads line, though.
Her boyfriend calls you up.
I got out-of-town girls over here.
You're fucking me up now.
Okay.
That makes sense.
That's funny.
Because you know.
Sorry.
I do have to say I apologize for referring to your mom as trim.
Of course.
I had to take this away.
No, that's funny, though.
But you realize that you don't throw a party at your house unless your parents
or mom is
out-of-town.
She's just over at her boyfriend's house.
Yeah, I mean.
But she's staying there, probably.
It was technically a different town.
Yeah.
I'm with Dusty on this one.
But she's not on vacation.
No.
She could come back if she forgot something.
Yes.
But at 17, you're taking that swing.
Yeah.
Also, I don't think his mom's going to Turks and Caicos for the next few weeks.
You know what I mean?
No.
No.