Name: Glenny Balls! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-08-06T21:00:16.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Glenny Balls! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-06. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Glenny Balls! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-06. Transcript available.

Glenny Balls! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians, and we finally
have to give it to be classy.
Uh-huh.
After just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition.
Just stubbed your toe on the corner of the bed.
You know when the frame gets you?
Sure, that'll get you.
She was cussing like a sailor.
That'll ruin the day.
My co-host coming at you from right next to me.
He's the CEO of Are You Garbage?
International businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world.
I love him.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
What up, gang?
Shout out to you.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube, obviously.
Full video available over there on Spotify, baby.
Those numbers are fucking in the charts.
Not too shabby.
Then the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
So I show you garbage.
You go over there and get all that bonus content, gang.
Gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly,
special guest.
Here we stay for the first time.
You know him from his time over there at Barstool to the big stars over there.
And you know him from the Sunday conversation.
Give it up for Glennie Balls.
Happy to be here, guys.
Thank you, Adam.
Look at him.
Just found out he was 28.
I thought you were 65.
Did you really?
He's an old soul, this one.
He's got the gold bracelet on.
You look like you should have a checkbook in your back.
Sometimes I'll be talking to people, and some people will say I look young.
Most people say I look a lot older, but I think that's a compliment.
I don't think you look older.
Which one's your son?
I think you carry yourself old.
Yes, yes.
I'm an old soul.
I always say I attribute that to watching Friends growing up instead of
watching Suite Life
of Zack and Cody.
So I watched Friends when I was about eight years old to about 12.
But yeah, I think that's a compliment.
I'm about to be 29, so I'm closing in on 30.
I'm responsible for my back.
Closing in on 30.
And yeah, I'm 29.
Hey, can I ask you guys a question before we start this?
Please.
I know you guys just mentioned you said Kevin's your best bud.
Are you guys actually best friends?
Yes.
Or is this just podcast best friends?
At this moment specifically?
Or no, I mean, we've been best friends for about 15 years.
You would say I'm your best friend?
I've known him for 15 years.
So he would be, sorry for asking, you guys married or single?
To each other?
No, not to each other.
It's open, you know what I mean?
I'm married.
It's a marriage of convenience.
I'm married.
He's married as well.
So were you guys groomsmen?
Oh, man.
What's going on here?
What do you want?
Were you on the Reddit page before this?
No, I was just, is that a thing?
Did they talk about that?
Kevin, Kevin.
It's Glenn from TMZ.
Why wasn't Henry at the wedding?
Trying to get into an escalator.
That's how I equate my friends.
I think there's like, there's best friends, then there's groomsmen, then there's
maybe bachelor
party, then there's acquaintances.
Hold on.
That's because you're 29.
Yes.
That also goes with you saying that you just started a Jersey Shore rewatch.
And then you also said that in high school, you guys would dress up as the
Jersey Shore
characters and watch it.
We would not dress up as the characters and watch it.
You got real high school musical vibes.
Going into, we were eighth grade, going into ninth grade was when season two
premiered.
So season one obviously popped off.
And then we did a big season two premiere party.
There was zero alcohol.
We were 13 years old.
All the girls were wearing their tight skirts, which sounds weird because they
were 13 years
old.
We were all wearing our Guido stuff.
We spiked our hair, everything.
It was a fun little, it was a fun thing to do.
Posted the photos on Facebook.
A couple of snacks at the house.
Our cool mom was the head of it.
It was a fun time.
It's the Jersey Shore, man.
It was a cultural phenomenon.
Nothing like it.
That and Linsanity were the two biggest cultural phenomenon.
I remember the night that that kid popped being like, what the fuck's going on
here?
It was the day before the Super Bowl.
The day before the Giants won the Super Bowl.
Never forget.
The day before the Giants won the Super Bowl.
And then the next day, actually, the Giants won the Super Bowl that Monday
night.
I went to the Knicks game, hoping the Giants would be there.
They all were.
And it was also the second game of Linsanity.
It was against the Utah Jazz, I think.
20's all right.
Yeah, and Linsanity was unbelievable.
Yeah, this is funny.
It's like a sports almanac, this kid, for New Yorkers.
A time capsule of the early 2000s.
I like it.
I had my jersey.
Let's go back.
Origin story.
Hit us with it.
Origin story.
Long Island kid.
So, my whole family is from Corona, Queens.
Okay.
My parents met in Corona.
My whole family, like all my aunts, uncles, everyone.
So, actually, my mom and her two best friends married my dad and his two first
cousins.
No way.
Wait, hold on.
What a package deal they call that.
This explains the groomsman thing.
Yes.
Which, that's going to shatter when you get into your 30s, by the way.
I'm sorry.
I thought it would be a nice thing to dictate your friends by.
Shut up.
It is.
You think you're going to be talking to a groomsman in five years?
Way off.
But, yeah.
So, my whole family from Corona, Queens.
Like, my grandparents are all from Corona.
My one grandpa is from Greece, actually.
And then, yeah.
So, they all met.
My dad was 19.
My mom was 16 when they met.
Kind of whatever now.
It's a different time.
It's a different time.
Corona, Queens.
Different time for them.
Might as well have been the 1800s.
All they were doing back then was necking and getting ice cream.
So, they were 19, 16, men in Corona.
And then, yeah.
Pretty much my mom, her two best friends marrying my dad and his two first
cousins.
No way.
Get the fuck out of here.
Are they all Greek?
Are they Italians?
We're all Italian.
All Italian.
Is that what your nationality is?
Yeah.
I'm 75 Italian, 25 Greek.
So, my-
New York Italians always have a twist to Greek and they don't like-
They don't love it.
Well, I had four grandparents.
And so, one of my grandparents that was Greece.
He was from Greece.
Off the boat from Greece.
Married my grandma.
They all passed away.
But, my Greek grandpa passed away in like 1983.
And then, he was actually, I believe he was a gambling addict.
So, he owed his Greek family a decent amount of money.
Oh, shit.
And then, cut my family off.
So, I don't know any of my Greek family.
So, I kind of consider myself full Italian.
That's old country shit.
I like that.
The Italians really got to you in there.
So, I don't know any of my Greek family.
I know none of my Greek family.
One of my-
The only Greek family I've met, they live in Denmark now.
Man, we don't talk to them.
Apparently, he-
So, my grandpa, his name was Odysseus Heracopis.
He apparently worked to put his brother through NYU to become a doctor.
And then, he put him through, became a doctor.
And then, he said, oh, do I either want to be a big fish in a small pond or a
small fish
in a big pond?
So, stay in New York or go somewhere else.
He randomly decided to go to Denmark.
He moved to Denmark out of the blue.
And, he became like Denmark's leading autism doctor.
Wow.
So, if you look it up, I think you can look up Demetrius Heracopis, Denmark.
He's like Mr. Autism.
Like, they have a book.
They call him Mr. Autism.
So is Foley.
Yeah.
It says Demetrius Heracopis, Mr. Autism.
He's like their lead autism doctor.
Their lead doctor.
Wow.
I think he's passed away now.
I've never met him.
But, his daughter and her son.
His daughter and her son came to America a few years ago.
I'm talking to one of your aunts the way you're explaining this.
But, either way.
So, I don't know any of my Greek family.
Sure.
Sure.
Okay.
Let me tell you something.
New York Italian family, if you're on the wrong side of that, somebody's
crushing you for
generations.
Sure.
The way he just described that.
Tell you what, though.
I don't hate that move.
I tried to play football at a prep school after high school for that exact
reason.
Big fish, small pond.
Yeah.
It was pretty good.
Yeah.
That was the Greeks.
But, yeah.
So, they're all from Corona.
I moved to Long Island.
The family did.
Me and my parents moved when I was about three years old.
So, then the other two sets moved when they were about my cousin.
So, they migrated out of the city.
I got out of the city.
So, now we're in Long Island.
Yeah.
South Shore of Long Island.
So, I live in Malvern.
My other family lives in Franklin Square and East Meadow.
So, South Shore of Long Island.
Ready-made vacation.
I like that.
It's a great place, man.
It's 15 minutes from the beach, 45 from the city.
It's unbelievable.
I've been doing my little Hawkeye walks on the boardwalk at the beach every day.
I drive down there 20 minutes, 40 minutes each way.
It's a great walk.
What's the go-to smoothie these days?
Smoothies, I don't do much, man.
A chocolate milkshake.
Yeah.
Smoothies, I haven't been doing much.
But I just do my walk, and then there's a great poke place.
It's fantastic.
I love Long Island.
I love it.
It's a great place.
Yeah.
If that's all said and done, careers over, you retire in Long Island.
Is that ideal for you?
See, here's the thing.
Everybody's out there.
Here's the thing, man.
I love it.
Pete, sorry to cut you off, but Pete, we've always said this.
We're from Philly, so it's like, it makes it that much harder to get back to Philly.
I would move to Long Island if I had my family.
If my family was out in a heartbeat, that's the problem, too, is everyone
always tells
me, they go, when are you going to move out?
When are you going to move out?
When are you going to go to Florida?
When are you going to go to Nashville or something?
I'm like, dude, all my friends and family are here.
And it's not like it's a disease to be from New York, but you don't leave.
Everyone says you're going to leave.
I'm leaving in a coffin.
You don't leave.
No one leaves.
Sure.
The only way people leave, I would say-
No, Staten Island, maybe.
Who's saying that to you?
Some guy working on his car at the house next to you?
No, it's just a bunch of my buddies always be like, oh, not my Long Island
people,
but people on the store-
I thought your dream was to go to Nashville, Glennie, what happened?
No, it's showbiz, friends.
Why don't you move here?
Move there.
I love Nashville.
I love Florida.
I would love to move to Delray Beach, Florida, but people don't leave.
He even does the New York.
Delray Beach.
I love Delray Beach.
Delray Beach is amazing.
It's fantastic.
I love to leave.
I love to leave.
I can't.
The old ball in chains.
Keep him here.
Delray, have you been to Delray?
It's the best.
It's a little mini Fort Lauderdale, an hour from Fort Lauderdale.
It's fantastic.
People actually call-
That was the most Long Island shit I've ever heard.
People call it fucking Sixth Borough.
Glennie Bowles calls it.
I go to Delray.
I love it.
I go to one of the bars in Delray, and it's all these people that have left,
that have
gotten the courage to leave, and just all these old Italian guys.
That's very, that's Tampa for Philly.
There's a lot of Philly, Jersey guys in Tampa.
What a great place, by the way.
What?
Tampa.
If I could pick it all, if my wife would go, I'd go, and I love Florida.
I actually recently, so my three places I would move to New York, I believe New
York for
that I've said, is Nashville, Delray Beach, a