Name: Eating at the Bar | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-08-13T21:00:06.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Eating at the Bar | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-13. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Eating at the Bar | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-13. Transcript available.

Eating at the Bar | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out
if they're yours to be classy.
Yeah.
They're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition.
She's off to do a little volunteer work.
Okay.
Over at the day camp over there at the local high school.
All right.
I told you.
Turning around.
It's good for her.
You know, confession.
Uh-huh.
Church.
Seeing a therapist.
Exercising, eating right.
Trying to get back to the community.
She's really, really, you know, making an effort.
Circle in the wagons.
Yes, she is.
Uh-huh.
And we love her for that.
Sure.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman.
He's also a dad.
What?
A homeowner.
A business owner.
A staple of the community.
The king of the burbs, some call him.
I seen you down here at Home Depot.
Hey, Don.
They're probably throwing sausages at you from Roscoe's.
Shout out, Rocco's.
Roscoe's.
Chicken-y.
Somebody's got waffles on a brain.
I'll be uptown if you need me.
Give it up for Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Okay.
Shout out to you.
As always, make sure you rate, review, subscribe all night.
It's in L.A.
Full video available on YouTube.
Obviously, full video available over there on Spotify as well.
Where are we at?
Climbing through the charts.
On the goddamn charts over there.
Like, actually, on the charts.
I'm not just talking about comedy podcasts.
I'm talking about all podcasts in the regional United States.
In the tri-state area.
With two fat idiots as hosts.
And then, obviously, the greatest website of all time.
I don't have to tell the over 15,000 Patreon members.
Shout out to the homies.
www.patreon.com.
So I'll show you garbage.
You go over there and get all that bonus content.
If you sign up on a $10 level, you get two episodes a week.
You get a bonus episode of Hard Feelings.
And then a bonus episode of AYG.
And also, since we hit the $15,000.
Mono, E-mono, me versus Foley, paintball, extravaganza.
Finally.
I got a feeling I know how this is going to go.
I know how it's going to go, too.
Fuck it.
I'm going to hit you with a fucking five-gallon bucket of paint in the head.
Because I ain't coming back, baby.
What?
Nor do I need you.
You shoot yourself.
You're just in the top of the bell tower.
Fucking blow your brains out.
Yeah, check it out.
Suicide vest, everybody.
You take us out in the fucking gift shop.
I'm at the snack bar.
Hey, you guys got to clean that shit up now.
Fucking ruined my hot dog.
I assume there's some type of snack bar.
Yeah, that's how they, that's how they, I don't think they're making, they make
the
money on the paint and the diesels.
I can smell the diesel now.
Uh-huh.
Ain't having diesel in a long time, to be honest with you.
Mm-hmm.
Nice hot dog.
Sure.
Um, and then obviously, guys, uh, we are gearing up for our fall and winter
tour.
Tickets on sale now at RUGarbage.com.
Starts at, what is that?
It's fall and winter.
I don't know.
Okay.
It starts, it starts out over there on the west coast.
Isn't that crazy?
Starting out on the west coast.
Get the long ones out.
That's going to be a long drive.
Guess the man, I believe.
Better leave now.
Better not be an electric.
Uh-huh.
Uh, yeah, what is it?
Portland, Seattle.
San Fran.
Two shows in SF.
SF is the cool guy.
Say two shows in FS and we're doing a Bray improv.
That's a big room.
Is the Bray a first?
Uh, no, Bray is last.
Bray is last.
So we're going San Fran.
San Fran, Portland, Seattle, back down to La La Land.
And then we're staying there for a little bit.
Couple days out there, dry out.
Yeah, that's nice.
Mm-hmm.
Haven't told the wife yet.
Really?
What?
She hasn't seen the house we got.
I know that much.
Nice.
Little place in the hills.
I can fucking shut it down.
Uh-huh.
This ain't some setup, is it?
I'm not going to have a fucking Happy Horizons or something like that.
You guys are walking me.
I mean, the goddamn Palisades.
They're taking my Snickers bars away from me.
What the fuck?
Ryan D's going to be right down the street in a hotel.
I'd say you would have whacked me, wouldn't you?
What?
Ryan D.
Sure.
Italian.
Mm-hmm.
I'm only going to do it.
Nosey guy.
I like that.
Yeah, man.
It's going to be fucking fun getting back out of the road.
Yeah.
Boys are back.
Vibes are high.
We are cooking.
Fall and winter.
I love it.
Fucking big show in goddamn Philly.
Big show in full.
The Met.
The Met.
Oh, well.
Metropolitan Theater.
Yeah.
It's going to be in the nice part of town, too.
North Broad Street.
Ay caramba.
I used to live at-
Cecil B. Moore.
What's the name of that?
Cecil B. Moore.
Cecil B. Moore.
Yeah.
Is he a man or a woman?
I think it was a dude.
I always thought it was a woman.
Singer.
Jazz singer.
See, Cecil B. Moore.
I think it was a guy.
No kidding.
I don't know.
It's a dude.
Yeah.
Held the first fish fry north of Spring Garden Street.
First got to use catfish.
My man.
Come get the fritters.
I could go for a good one of that.
What would Cecil B. Moore?
It's so funny because that's the main intersection of Temple's campus is Cecil
B.
That's the start of campus.
Big civil rights guy.
Okay.
President of Philadelphia's NAACP.
There you go.
My man.
Lawyer and yeah.
Nice.
Cool.
See if the barber's hall is still there.
Get eyes on that.
You know, speaking of fish fry, when I go home.
If we take a certain way when I'm going over to Queens.
I live right by Queensbridge.
Nas grew up.
Yeah.
All right.
All right.
Tough guy.
On the side.
I don't roll through it, but on the side of that.
Yeah.
Take Friday and Saturday nights.
Everybody's out there.
They're grilling.
They're cooking.
The whole nine yards.
Nice.
Man.
They got everybody able to roll.
Hey, what's up?
Grab a little bike.
You come real jive turkey.
You got hit me high.
You do a lot of that shit.
Oh, I wouldn't.
Hit me low.
Oh, too slow.
Mommy.
Got your nose.
I'm dribbling a basketball.
I'd just be cool to go hang out.
You're spinning it on your finger.
You guys want to do this?
What?
Barber's Hall is still banging.
Yeah.
Seems like they also have a new Barber's Hall.
That might be what it's called.
I'm an OG kind of guy.
All right.
I ain't bringing this fucking one.
No.
Fucking cracker cracker over here.
Cozy venue with bar offering and comfort food.
There you go.
They used to have like nickel wings or something.
I'd get them to go.
Throw down a five.
Give me a hundo.
Creep out the back door.
Yeah, man.
It smells unbelievable as you drive by.
Wish I could go and hang out.
Hey, what's going on?
Introduce myself.
Sure.
I'm Henry.
I live in the neighborhood.
I do live in the neighborhood.
Uh-huh.
Not in there.
You live in a different part of town there, tough guy.
Something cooking.
Delicious.
I got a little say.
It happened to me this morning.
Tile dysfunction.
I'm hard.
Not uncommon for a man your age.
Rock hard.
Are you still waking up with stiffies?
Yeah.
Me too a little bit these days.
I wish I could get the guy to call me in the morning time.
Fuck a fish rod.
Mine's usually a pee boner.
I don't know.
You get pee boners?
No?
I'm an asshole?
Nobody gets pee boners?
You don't get a pee boner?
Yeah, sure.
From time to time, I guess.
Time to time?
I wake up with it every morning.
I have to pee.
And then every time I pee, I get tired again.
I got to go back to sleep for a little bit.
That's a big, that's a long walk to the bathroom.
But I try to hold it off for as long as I can.
You know what I mean?
But sometimes it gets too much.
And then it's such a pee boner, you can't push it down to go tinkle.
Then you pee all over the seat.
You know where that goes.
I got a whole other bag of problems.
You want to go to my fish fry.
Yeah, right.
What?
Come on.
Go peeing on a seat there.
No.
You laughed out of town.
No.
Shit.
I want to go, man.
I took, I was driving from the Burbs to old city of New York to come film this
program
we recorded out of here.
Broadcast out of New York City.
That's too shabby.
And I stopped at, I'm a Starbucks man, large black coffee.
Sure.
I like it.
Sure.
Strong.
Black coffee, dead as summer.
He don't give a shit.
Got it.
You got it.
Hot and black.
What are you talking about, cold brew?
You got a fucking chiller sitting right next to you.
It's always black, though.
Oh, of course it's always black.
I'm doing hot.
I'm old school.
Hot.
I'm like, hot coffee.
Yeah, but if I'm doing a coffee and it's hot, it's black.
Of course.
Yeah, but you're a cold brew.
He's trying to sign a lot.
What are you talking about, princess?
You're trying to get my feet.
You're just like me.
What are you talking about?
I don't know why you're giving him so much guff.
You like cold brews and empanadas.
He's saying I'm a cool, tough guy.
Yeah.
Don't give him that.
Yeah.
Cool, tough guy.
You think he's eating fucking crispy rice like you and me, huh?
Think this guy ever had a piece of ceviche in his life?
I did once.
I didn't know what it was.
I was at a wedding with my bro.
I thought it was gum.
I was at a wedding in Spain.
I spit that out in the garden, as they called it.
I thought it was a gummy bear.
Hey, somebody forgot to cook the fish.
They did.
I didn't know that.
Yeah.
I thought it was like a Jell-O shot.
It was a cocktail hour.
Oh, that's nice.
I like that.
What?
No, I didn't.
I thought I was getting fucked up.
Little did I know.
In Hawaii, I don't think I ever told you this.
I had a day, this place we went to had oyster shots.
So it was a raw oyster, some type of-
Oyster.
A raw oyster.
You got oysters?
Speaking of the side of your mouth, like Patty talking shit.
Man, I'm such a dirt ball.
Oyster.
Got oysters?
What?
Oyster, shot glass, a little bit of like, I don't know,
hot sauce, something like that, with a quail egg on top.
This should be annexed.
No way.
Doing that?
Talk about rolling the dice.
Nah, that's too many.
That's too many any miles.
Yeah, that's a lot going on.
But I got to tell you, I stopped to grab a coffee.
I picked up, I did the mobile order.
I ordered ahead.
Very sharp of you.
You doing this in town?
You're not doing mobile order on the turnpike, are you?
At one of the rest stops?
Nah, I'm doing it before I get on a highway.
Okay.
We're going to Starbucks at the rest stop?
We've done it.
Yeah, I know.
But I mean, I'm not getting on the highway to get a coffee.
Okay, good.
I'm old school.
Once you're on a highway, you're on the fucking, I'm getting off to get a
coffee.
You take care of all the fucking housework, all the fucking admin, before you
get on a
highway.
Listen, I couldn't agree more.
It's crazy that you're asking me if I wait to have my coffee at fucking Molly Pitcher
or whatever the fuck it is.
At the Jon Bon Jovi rest stop.
And Guitar Center.
I grabbed the wrong coffee.
Really?
Uh-huh.
And I don't know what it was, but I drank the whole thing.
Holy shit.
And it felt real weird.
What was it?
I don't know.
Was there milk and sugar in it?
Yeah.
No kidding.
It was real nice.
Yeah, I bet it was.
I felt like Debbie all day, dude.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A nice hot coffee with a little cream and sugar.
It was like something, a little steam, a little milk.
And like, man, a little nip of that.
You forget what's on the other side.
You'd like a cafe latte.
It was some sort of cafe latte.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Coffee and a little hot milk, a little steam milk in there.
You know, not frothed up, just hot.
It was no, whatever it was.
A little bit of sugar, maybe a simple syrup, maybe a vanilla, maybe an almond.
Mm-hmm.
It'd be nice for you.
Nah, too much.
Lose your edge a little bit.
What?
Those fucking eyebrows could cut bread.
Christ.
It was like my Uncle Dan had to ge