Name: Kumail Nanjiani! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-08-31T21:01:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kumail Nanjiani! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-31. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kumail Nanjiani! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-08-31. Transcript available.

Kumail Nanjiani! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

I got a question for all you bozos and homies out there.
Do you think you're garbage?
We'll come find out the boys are about to hit the road
for that Back on the Block tour.
We're starting out there on the left coast, baby.
Yeah, we got San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Brea.
Then we got Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts,
Atlanta, Charlotte, Raleigh, Richmond, Baltimore,
Philadelphia at the Met, Rochester, Toronto.
Guys, get your tickets now.
These will sell out.
We love you.
They'll see you on the road.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians
are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back
to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down to your favorite comedians
and we find out there to be classy.
Yeah.
If they're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, Dave, Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition.
She just got back from the pet store.
Okay.
Got a piranha.
Going to show me later.
Pretty sick, huh?
She's got a Chinese star.
Mike Coase is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage.
He is an international businessman and my best pal
in the whole wide world, and I love him.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Shout out to you.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Full video available over there on Spotify.
And the boys are climbing the charts.
And then obviously the greatest website of all time,
www.patreon.com slash are you garbage?
Love that money, gang.
Gang, we could be more excited to have our incredibly,
and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today
for the first time.
He is a very funny, very successful stand-up comedian,
actor, producer, and writer.
And you might have seen him in, but not limited to.
You got Ugly Americans.
You got Life As We Know It.
The Five-Year Engagement, Bad Milo, Veep, Burning Lub,
Sex Tape, Franklin and Bash, Broad City, Hot Tub Time Machine 2,
The Kroll Show, Inside Amy Schumer, Community, Adventure Time,
Brother Nature, of course, The Big Sick, Academy Award.
Wee!
You got Portlandia, 53 episodes of Silicon Valley.
Cha-ching!
How you doing?
The Eternals, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ghostbusters, Frozen Empire,
Poker Face, Bob's Burgers.
You got the Colbert Report.
You got The Tonight Show, Seth Meyers, Smartless,
Jimmy Kimmel, After Midnight.
Good Morning America, look out.
Here we go.
And he's got a brand new special coming out in December
over there on Hulu.
Give it up for Kamil Nanjiani, everybody.
Let's go.
Look at him.
Rolled in here solo like a fucking Jedi, too.
We didn't even hear him come in.
Well, what did you expect?
I don't know.
Some goons, some muscles.
He thinks if you've been to L.A., you roll with a T.
He thinks it's like entourage.
Somebody doing the hair.
I don't know.
Somebody holding a protein shake or something.
My life guru was busy today.
A lot of that going on.
Sure.
Oh, man.
Where do you hold your hat now?
Where do you live?
You on the coast out in Tinseltown or you over here?
I'm on the coast.
You're really trying to Joe, huh?
Did I see you at the Grove last week?
Am I crazy?
No, I'm there every day.
You've just Googled L.A.
Yes, he's reading the Wikipedia.
Remembering what you remember?
Oh, Beverly Hills.
I know that zip code.
My producer lives in Reseda, I think.
Oh, that's from-
No, I'm kidding.
That's from Karate Kid.
Karate Kid, actually.
Is that where you know Reseda from?
That's where I know Reseda from, yeah.
Because they're moving to Reseda.
And I know Toluca Lake from Pulp Fiction.
Okay, there you go.
He's going to sweep your leg in a couple of minutes.
Is that the one where Harvey Cartel's like, where do you live?
And he's like, Toluca Lake?
He's like, I see your future.
It's a cab.
No, it's after they shoot the kid in the back and he's like, we're going to see
if my partner's
home in Toluca Lake.
If Jimmy isn't home, we're in big trouble.
Oh, I see.
Okay.
I live in L.A.
Yeah?
That's Los Angeles, all right?
Okay, thanks.
Hollywood, Kippy.
But I'm here for a couple of months doing a play.
Whoa.
I didn't know that.
Broadway?
Broadway.
Whoa.
I'd never done a play in my fucking life and now this is week four of doing a
play.
Wow.
Like the play's up or you're in rehearsals?
No, no, no.
We're four weeks into the run.
No kidding.
What's the name of the play?
It's called O'Mary.
Oh, you're doing O'Mary?
What the hell?
Have you guys seen it?
No, but I know it's huge.
Come see it.
It's so funny.
Let's go.
It's so undeniable.
What character are you playing?
Mary.
No.
I'm playing her husband.
You're playing Abe Lincoln.
So he does switch that.
I forget the gentleman's name.
Yeah, Conrad Ricomora is gone and I'm the replacement Abe.
Gotcha.
It's the kid that wrote it.
Cole is gone and Jinx Monsoon is playing Mary and she's fucking phenomenal.
Man, that thing's going to be cleaning up for years.
Yeah.
That's awesome.
It's one of those four episodes.
It's a big hit.
Kid won a Tony for it.
What, are you a producer all of a sudden?
What?
That thing's going to be cleaning up for years?
Kid won a Tony for it.
He did.
He won Tony.
I know.
I don't know.
Do you know what the Tonys are?
I know Antony.
Spent the night at Liza.
Minnelli?
No.
Come watch.
It's a really fun show.
That's awesome, man.
Let's go.
I didn't think you were doing that.
It's crazy.
Like, I've been doing comedy since 2001.
Uh-huh.
And these last three weeks, I've learned new stuff about comedy that I didn't
know.
I'm learning new shit about comedy.
Because I thought, you know, you're doing it a long time.
You're like, I kind of know all the moves.
I know all the things.
And this is like, oh, there's new rules that I'm learning.
Damn.
Kid's on Broadway.
Constantly challenging himself to this guy.
Nuts.
Give us the back story.
Let's go back.
Karachi.
Take it all the way back, baby.
Karachi.
Karachi.
1978.
Karachi is like, sort of, you know, it's over 20 million people.
So, it's like New York.
So, I feel much more at home in a city like New York than a city like Tinseltown.
I love New York.
And I'm really fucking loving being here right now.
That's awesome.
I think it's the best.
Dude, Broadway in the fall?
I mean, we have great Broadway in the fall.
He would have said any season.
Yeah, that's my favorite Robert Redford movie.
Broadway in the fall?
Yeah.
Alistair in the spring?
It's very sad when Meryl Streep dies in it, though.
Hey, spoilers, buddy.
Yeah, so, and I grew up there.
I was there until I was 18.
Grew up really, really watching a lot of Hollywood movies and TV shows and
stuff.
So, that's sort of where I knew American culture.
Did everything get there on time?
Everything got, we didn't get stuff in the theaters.
The first movie I remember, a big Hollywood movie opening in theaters there,
like, officially,
was Jurassic Park.
Okay.
That's the first one I saw.
And I watched Jurassic Park in Urdu.
Like, it was dubbed into the language I grew up speaking.
Gotcha.
So, I watched it at the theater in Urdu.
And I remember the part where he says, that's a, what's he say?
A mountain of shit?
Is that what he says?
That's a big pile.
Oh, when they see the poop for the first time?
Yeah.
The Urdu translation for it was so fun.
It, like, crushed.
It's still the biggest laugh I've ever heard in a theater.
That is one big pile of shit.
But, but.
That's the line?
That's the line.
That's one big pile of shit.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It murdered.
Yeah.
And I grew up, you know.
So, so we got stuff.
We got, we got VHSs.
But they were not there.
And the first movie that I remember being released officially on VHS was Star
Trek Generations.
What's the, what's the first of the movies with, what's the first, it's not
called, what's
the first of the movies with the next generation crew called?
That's not First Contact, maybe?
No, First Contact, I think the second one in First Contact is fucking
phenomenal.
That's a great movie.
This one is not as good.
Is it the one with the Borg?
Is it the one with Eric Bana in the beginning?
No, man.
That's like, that's way later.
Is it?
That's, that's the one with, with, you know, the new people.
Yeah.
This is with, like, Picard and.
Yeah, that's what I mean.
Their, their first movie.
Had Eric Bana in it?
I don't know.
I think Eric Bana is in the Chris Pine ones.
He's the bad guy in the second Chris Pine one, or the first one, the first
Chris Pine one.
No.
No, that's not right.
It's old.
Because he's young in it.
Maybe he is.
Maybe I'm getting Tom Hardy.
Tom Hardy's in one of them when he's really young, too.
I can't remember which one it is.
Luke, you have eyes on that?
Bane is in the reboot.
Uh, I believe it's Star Trek Generations.
That's the first, that was the first movie that was officially released on VHS.
And I won it.
I, there was like a little contest in the newspaper.
Okay.
And I fucking nailed it.
And I got the VHS of Star Trek Generations.
But what we got was a lot of like bootleg movies.
And right when the movies came out, we would first get the camcorder print.
Really?
So I saw a lot of our favorite movies.
Old school.
I still, I don't know if I've ever seen The Sixth Sense outside of a camcorder
print.
That's awesome.
I might have only seen it.
And it's always like.
Probably extra scary.
Yeah.
Oh my, I remember the feeling of watching that movie.
Because you really have to like lean in.
Because the, you know, the screen doesn't look great.
The sound is all echoey.
So I'm like watching like this.
And you also, the other big factor is, what seat did the guy get?
You know?
Sometimes, the guy got there late.
It's like, I saw Lethal Weapon 4.
The guy was too close to the screen.
You're not good.
But Sixth Sense, he had a nice spot, you know?
He framed it up really nice.
You see the people in front.
I remember at one point, the guy gets up and like fixes his hair.
That's awesome.
You see that?
Where were you getting them?
Like were you buying them?
No, you get them at VHS.
Like a rental shop.
So there was this area in Karachi that was just like 40 different rental shops.
You know?
But you always had to go to the one you knew because it was illegal.
So you had to go like be like.
The bootlegs were illegal.
The bootlegs were illegal.
And they would have the names of other movies on them.
They would have the names of Bollywood movies or Pakistani movies on them.
And he had like a little list.
And he would say, okay, Shahenshah, that number, that's Jurassic Park or
whatever.
So you would get movies like that.
And I would watch.
I watched a movie every day.
That's crazy.
Once a week, I'd get seven VHSs.
And every single day from the age of probably five to 18, I watched a movie
every single day.
And another way I know a lot of movies is why I love horror movies.
I had an uncle who was coming from another country in the Middle East.
And he had like made a deal with a guy to smuggle over 200 VHSs.
That's a good uncle right there.
He hid them in diapers.
And so he came and he set them all up.
And he's like, when the guy comes, you got to give him all these movies.
The guy never came.
So suddenly one day I had 200 new movies at the house.
And a bunch of diapers.
A bunch of diapers.
Yeah, I didn't need to take any breaks.
I just watched movies back to back to back.
So that was, and he had a lot of horror movies.
So I watched a lot of like 80s horror movies that way.
A lot of action movies.
So like the old Gone in 60 Seconds, that kind of vibe.
Sure.
Westerns, which my dad loved.
So yeah, that's how.
And these were all bootlegs or no?
These were all bootlegs.
These were all bootlegs.
Everything was, all we got was bootlegs until, what year does Generations come
out?
I'm going to guess like 95, 96, somewhere around there.
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