Name: Kippy Gets New Jeans | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-09-07T21:00:55.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kippy Gets New Jeans | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-07. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Kippy Gets New Jeans | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-07. Transcript available.

Kippy Gets New Jeans | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Attention, homies and bozos. If you're looking for hot, local dirtbags in your
area, then you're in luck.
We're going to be in San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Los Angeles, California,
Burlington, Vermont.
Don't forget Boston, Atlanta, Charlotte, Raleigh, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore,
Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.
Getting real nasty. Rochester, New York, and Toronto. All tickets available at
RUGarbage.com.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RUGarbage, the show where you find out
if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RUGarbage.
You know it.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that
it's a group to be classy.
Yeah.
After just a big old piece of trash.
I swear to God.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here
with Tooties in a new edition.
She had dinner with Chase Utley last night.
Okay. Oh, wow.
Which I didn't believe her, but she's got his wallet.
Okay.
Mike Coes is coming at you from across the table. That's a win. Get me on the
board.
He is the CEO of RUGarbage. He's my best pal in the whole world. He's got on
brand new jeans.
We'll get into it.
Woo! Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Kevin Jeans Ryan.
What's it called? Remitted denim?
Selvage denim.
Selvage denim.
Let me get the business out of the way. Then we'll get into Kippy Jeans. Kippy
Cool Jeans.
What's up, gang? Shout out to you. As always, please make sure you rate, view,
subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on...
Spotify.
On the charts.
Climbing the charts in general, in all podcasts and comedy podcasts.
Number four on the charts. Why not?
On cooking podcasts. Kids are cooking.
And then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com, slash RUGarbage.
But, folks, don't take our word for it. Take the word of the 15,000 paid
subscribers over there.
We're moving numbers. Kids are moving units.
Army of garbage.
I'd like to make a public statement regarding the jeans. This wasn't supposed
to be public.
They were, you know...
Nobody can see them. Show the folks.
I'm going to show the folks, for sure.
If you can stand up.
You don't think I can get a pair of dungarees?
When I met you, you used to wear jeans all the time.
I bought a pair of jeans online. Cool jeans. I'm losing a couple pounds. Shout
out Modern Medicine.
Two pair you bought.
I bought a couple. I bought three pair.
Expensive.
Yeah, expensive jeans. I try to be cool.
I try to buy...
Because I blow out of...
I buy H&M jeans or pants.
I buy Gap and I blow out of them.
Because I wear them every day for four months and then there's a hole in them
in the grundle.
Because that's...
They're stretchy.
These are a little...
Yeah, so they're nice.
And I bought a lighter pair of denim.
You know what I mean?
And, uh...
Okay, where's that camera?
What am I going to be in?
This one over here?
Am I going to be in my...
Looking like Swayze.
So, they're a little lighter.
You know, I'm a married man.
I'm typically...
I dress like Marilyn Manson most days.
I'm in all black.
I got black pants on, black nail polish, all nine yards.
My wife was like, try something like this.
I tried a pair.
You know what I mean?
I tried a little lighter denim.
Sure.
But they came a little pre-stressed.
Yeah.
Sliding into third a couple of times.
Around the crotch area, there's...
I'll just show you.
I think it's 15% too distressed.
And I'm trying to even it out.
A couple of washes.
Hopefully, it'll smooth this thing out.
I don't know.
Some martinizing.
Drop a comment.
Can we put a poll up or something?
Let's see them.
Okay.
Woo!
Randy Rinkles, everybody.
I feel like this area here is a little...
Long bus ride, huh, big guy?
I feel Russian or something.
I feel Eastern European.
I feel...
Do you ever see the guys who are like, they wear jeans like this, but they're
doing roofing
at Home Depot.
They're picking up supplies in designer jeans.
They've been squatting all day.
Yeah.
That's what I feel like.
I feel like the pockets should be bedazzled a little bit.
You think?
I don't want them to be, but that's...
A little juicy on there or something like that?
Yeah, something like a unicorn.
Turn around.
Let me see it.
Kippy, you ain't got no ass, baby.
I've never had an ass.
Man, those pockets are huge.
They look great, though, man.
You look good.
Well...
Are they a little long, though?
They're a little long.
Yeah, I got to get them hemmed up.
You got to get them hemmed?
Got to get them hemmed.
Hemmed?
Get them pressed?
Probably.
I don't know if they press them.
Listen, I don't know.
I got to figure this out.
This is a...
I'm taking new swings here.
Luke, are they in style right now?
No.
Not with the distressing.
No?
That level.
I didn't realize it was going to be that level.
I think I got a bad batch.
I think they sent me the bottom of the barrel.
You know what I mean?
I don't know what the fuck he's talking about.
He's clearly trying to be cool, and he's not cool.
I thought they were supposed to be dark.
That was the whole point of...
What do you say?
Distressed?
Distressed.
That's the...
No, salvaged.
Salvaged?
Salvaged?
Yeah.
Not salvaged?
No.
What's salvaged?
I don't know.
It's a type of denim.
I don't know.
I thought it was taken from somewhere else.
Yeah, no.
That's not what it is.
It's a type of denim.
It's Japanese, right?
I think it's Japanese style.
These are tariff-free jeans, FYI.
Bobby Lee wears them.
He wears expensive jeans.
I bought a pair years ago that I then passed on to you after I lost the weight.
Remember those things?
Man, those things had zero give when I started putting on weight, and I tried
to hang on to
them as long as I could.
But I need a thick...
I need a heavy...
I'm a big guy.
I'm getting in.
I'm sitting a lot.
I'm farting.
I'm stretching.
I ripped a crotch goes on all my jeans, so I was like, let me invest in jeans,
and then
also, those other ones don't hold.
You look like a vagabond, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
After a couple...
After like two weeks, I wear the chef.
They're like sweatpants.
Them and shoes, I wear the shit out of.
Yeah.
I blow them out, and I look stupid.
I got like two weeks on sneakers, and they're leaning.
It's bad.
Yeah.
I washed a pair of sneakers for the first time this week.
Is that right?
Uh-huh.
Look at you.
They shrunk.
I swear to God.
My toes...
I was going to wear them today, and my feet started hurting before I left the
house.
Walking around like Hanks and Castaway.
It's...
Yeah, I don't know.
It didn't get the stains out.
It brightened them up.
I don't wear white sneakers, but these were like, you know, I bought them for
the summertime.
Ruined them immediately.
You're really going for it, aren't you?
Look at you.
I don't know.
A little style.
But you're behind.
The kids don't wear jeans on the Lower East Side anymore.
Right?
Wait.
First of all, if you think I'm trying to be a kid on the Lower East Side, we're
not on
the same page here.
I'm trying to be a guy with jeans that don't get holes in them after three
weeks.
That's the guy I'm trying to be.
And I'm failing at that pretty miserably.
I'm taking swings.
These are brutal.
No, the other ones are good.
The other ones are...
You wore them the other day, didn't you?
Yeah.
I have like two...
I have a dark pair.
I have a black pair and then like a regular like dark denim jean pair.
That's, you know, regular like blue jeans.
These are a little, you know, Bon Jovi-ish.
Yeah, they are.
Which might be my thing.
Could be.
I'm closing in on 40.
I'm married.
I'm the king of the burbs.
I could be at the local watering hole in my cool...
In the suburbs, this is cool.
I'm a cool guy.
Not New York.
Suburbs.
Cool guy.
New York.
Loserville.
Okay.
Look at this guy in his Sally jeans, huh?
Coming in.
I got my shirt tucked in to show off my head.
I wish that would come back, even though it's bad for me.
What?
Tucking the shirt in.
Tucking in a button down.
It's kind of back.
It's back.
Is it back?
For cool dudes in shape, it's kind of always...
It's never really gone away.
Really?
Yeah.
If you got the body, you can do it.
People go, eh, guys, it's...
I don't got the body.
No.
No.
Uh-uh.
But it used to be nice when I tuck in my shirt.
It felt good.
Even a t-shirt.
Tucking a t-shirt.
I never did.
I remember one time my brother was buying us heaters.
We were under age.
We were jammed up.
And I called him.
I said, I need a pack of heaters.
You got to come through.
Boys need them.
We had, like, a six-pack or something we stole from somebody.
Trying to look older.
And he showed up with his shirt tucked in.
And all my boys were like, what the fuck is...
Because we were, like, we were fucking skater rats.
It's a basketball jersey.
No.
He was, like, coming from...
I don't know what the fuck he was doing at the time.
But, like, he was, like...
I think he was, like, driving a truck for, like, my dad or something like that.
So, he had, like, you know, a fucking supply house t-shirt on tucked into a
pair of dungarees.
You know, not acid wash.
Not cool jeans like this.
We'll see if they stand the test of time.
If you're out there and you got some tips on how to fucking make these look
normal, hit me up.
Because I can't return them now.
You got to get a rock or something like that and rub it on them.
I took the tags out, which I shouldn't have done.
Hmm.
Jammed up.
Yeah, I don't know.
Rub a rock on them or something like that.
I don't think...
I think that'll just make them more distressed.
Why don't you acid wash them?
I think I got to take the dark parts and make them a little lighter so the
contrast isn't as bad.
Some pumice is what you need.
Sure.
Yeah.
Rub some lava rock on there.
Yeah, something like that.
We'll figure it out.
Grind them out.
Put a rip in them, too.
At the knee.
Then you can draw on your knee.
Uh-huh.
I did that.
Yeah.
A little smiley face or something.
But cool.
Showing what's good.
A couple rips in the ass.
Whatever.
My poor fashion decisions aside, you know.
Also, let me know if you like them.
They might stick around.
I might get a matching jacket.
They look great on you.
Thanks, bud.
They're a lot looser than I thought they were going to be.
My wife was like, let me know what the boys...
She's like, they're a little out of your wheelhouse.
You're going into the fucking lion's den.
Let me know what they say.
Luke immediately said no.
Ryan was on the fence.
And big man said, hey, I look good.
You look good, man.
I don't know what to believe.
I mean, what am I going to do?
Shit on you?
You lost weight?
You got new jeans?
What the fuck am I going to say?
I don't know.
I figured you could fucking dickhead figure out something to say.
It's never stopped you before.
Like, all of a sudden.
I got something I want to bring up.
I don't know if I had seen the other day.
I was out there in a burbs.
And I want to say it might have been about...
It was probably a Saturday morning, Sunday morning, something like that.
Okay.
And I was pushing the little boy around.
Taking a kid for a walk.
Trying to get him to probably go down for a nap or something.
This was last week, I want to say.
Got him in a stroller?
Got him in a stroller.
Got the headphones in.
Pushing him around.
He's probably already sleeping at this point.
Now you just got to keep moving, you know what I mean?
Get my steps in.
Trying, you know, whatever.
Sure.
You have the jeans on?
Didn't have the jeans on.
I was thinking about buying them.
I had them on the brain.
And my...
The liquor store...
This is probably about 9 o'clock.
Okay.
In the morning.
Okay.
And the liquor store's closed.
This is probably 8.50, call it.
They open at 9?
I'm guessing.
I'm making up to...
I don't know what time the liquor store opens up.
Whatever.
I was there right before it opened.
Okay.
Probably enough in a weekend morning.
Yeah.
Liquor stores open at