Name: How To Ball On A Budget! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-09-24T21:00:33.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How To Ball On A Budget! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-24. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'How To Ball On A Budget! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-24. Transcript available.

How To Ball On A Budget! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Calling Seattle, Portland, San Fran, Brea, California.
The boys are coming west, baby.
We're taking the Oregon Trail out to the left coast,
and we're coming to see you.
Grab the squad and come on out.
Yeah, if you're a dirtbag, we need you there, baby.
All tickets available at RUGarbage.com.
See you there.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage,
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians
are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back
to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RUGarbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians,
and we find out if you're to be classy.
Yeah.
But they're just a big old piece of trash.
Garbage, garbage, garbage.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tooties in a New Edition.
She's up in her room playing a little Guitar Hero.
Okay.
Shredding it.
Uh-huh.
Melting a couple faces.
That's right.
Mike Ho's is coming at you from across the table.
He is the CEO of RUGarbage.
He's an international businessman and did not turn his ringer off.
That wasn't me.
That was me.
Luke.
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
I thought it was me and denied it.
It's always you.
While still thinking it was me.
By the way, that was going off in a meeting the other day.
Bing, bing, bing, bing.
Can they hear that?
Maybe.
Really?
They work for me.
These bums.
You talk about me.
Why don't you frigging do something for me?
You talk about me in meetings.
You're bad.
Things are going on.
Hold on.
Let me introduce myself, then defend myself.
Shout out to you, gang.
Make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Yeah, you're all good kids.
Full video available on YouTube.
As you know, full video available over there on Spotify as well.
And the boys are tick-a-tick-a-tick-a-tick climbing up the frigging.
Climbing the charts.
Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com, slash our
garbage.
You go over there, you get all that bonus content, and the boys are hitting the
frigging road.
Are you a dirtbag?
It's a matter of days now.
Who lives on the West Coast, baby?
I'm talking La La Land.
Very limited tickets there.
Get me out of here.
San Francisco's second show added.
Then, only one show in Portland and Seattle.
Get those frigging techies.
I got to get out.
I got to get up to the Pacific Northwest and the West Coast.
I got to stretch my legs a little bit.
You can do that here.
Breeze some fucking air.
Some of that fresh pine air.
The Great Lakes.
Be a huff and cleanser out there.
Yeah.
That's what I need.
Get my head on straight.
A little bit of that Portland H.
Put a little dust off.
I ain't talking about hand bone, either.
Gang, this is what we call a family episode.
Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies, just the way we like it.
Before we get that started, we got to take a little cruise by the old corner
office and say hi.
I had it, Mr. Lukey Patuki, the son of the owner of the Dempsey Group.
Allegedly.
Allegedly.
Right?
Not on paper.
Sure.
Your father owns the Dempsey Group.
On paper, I only own the subsidiary.
So we had to bring you in because he put the screws to us.
He said, you got to give my kid a job.
Right?
That's kind of how this all went down.
Maybe.
You got jammed up.
Had to sell a little piece of tooties to the Dempsey Group.
They bought in.
I think they've owned it from the whole, this whole thing's a psyop.
They planted this in our brain years ago, and now it's just all coming to
fruition.
I hear it's all in a dog's name.
I got something I want to get into.
I've been tagged in this video a lot, which I was not aware of.
It's AI.
It wasn't there.
I didn't.
It was over there on TikTok.
I'm not big on TikTok, but I downloaded it, you know, and I must have been.
I thought you do pretty good over there with your channel.
No.
Your little kippy channel there.
I lost it and had to restart it, and then I.
You still do your beer reviews over there and stuff?
I mean, no.
I just.
What?
You mean that thing I did six years ago?
No, I still don't do that.
Thanks for checking in, though.
Still doing that acting thing?
Anyway.
Rude.
Heard the production was pushed.
Just saying.
Hey.
So this video, I was tagged in very much.
As you know, I'm the king of the boards down there in Wildwood, New Jersey.
Yeah, that's right.
I'll defend that.
Thanks.
I don't know why we're adversaries at the moment.
We're not adversaries.
I said I would defend that.
I was tagged in this video that takes place in Wildwood, New Jersey.
And I'll just let the video speak for itself.
I don't want any setup.
The guy does a pretty good job narrating it.
Okay.
It's him and his girlfriend, and I guess they're down in Wildwood for the
weekend.
Luke.
Look at her throwing down in the hotel.
Budget bedding.
Pause for a second.
She's cooking.
What are those?
It's chicken breast.
She's got marinated chicken breast in a motel.
Cooking them.
In the air fryer.
In the air fryer.
Huh.
And I'm pretty sure a lot of that stuff's dripping on the carpet of the motel
room if I had to get it.
Why are they that color?
She got a little seasoning on them?
Yeah.
She gets into the seasoning.
She gives you a little Martha Stewart rundown on the seasoning.
All right.
Hey, we brought the air fryer to Wildwood.
And the Vicodin.
Holy slow draw.
There is a certain level of dirt bag who I've been friends with for many years
in my life that have taken so many drugs.
They're not the quickest guys to begin with.
Then they take a lot of them Xanax, a lot of them Perkins, and they really put
some underwater.
You know what I mean?
Oh, I've been down there.
With my goggles on.
Scuba certified, dog.
No kitchen, no problem.
We got an air fryer.
Yes, we do.
Just got back from that cold, fun water boat, John.
That shit had us soaking wet.
It was fun, though.
If you pause it, you can see the camo cargo shorts hanging over the door,
letting them things dry out from that.
Because that's what he's simming in.
That's when the cold water boat, John.
Yeah.
My man.
Hey.
Tell them what you're putting in there, babe.
I put some seasoned chicken in the air fryer.
Say that again.
Take two.
Seasoned chicken.
Okay.
We don't want it bland.
Because we want it where you've got a little cloth at the end.
It's our school season, so.
Yeah.
I don't know about all that.
I trust you.
What the fuck are you talking about?
I just asked for a little salt and pepper.
Why is it that?
First of all, dude, who's taking it?
It's smart.
I'll give you that.
But the air fryer to the motel room.
Not a bad move.
Let me tell you that.
Not a bad move, though.
Because it's not like you're grilling.
It's not going to cause any more of a mess than anything else.
That is a pretty smart move.
I don't think this couple's worried about the mess.
I'm just saying.
That's a pretty smart move, bringing the air fryer.
Yeah.
It's not bad.
Because let's say...
That also looks like a bed.
That don't look like a hotel or motel.
That looks like someone's bedroom.
You think?
Maybe it's an air...
That dresser is...
That's like a residential dresser, I feel.
I've been in a lot of bad hotel rooms.
I ain't never seen something like that.
The TV, though.
The TV and that mirror being mounted on the wall like that is motel stuff.
Yeah.
I don't think they own property, though.
I don't either.
They got an air fryer.
What are you talking about?
How come pills and cartoons go so well together?
They just do, man.
They just do.
And I'm not insinuating these gentlemen on anything.
No.
No.
Not at all.
Could be his fine, upstanding young man.
Sure he is.
Lovely lady.
Nice couple.
Nice couple.
Doing their thing.
But let me tell you this.
That's innovative.
I got to give them that.
It's very...
I never...
Very innovative.
Because, okay, take away the raw chicken.
The raw...
Dude, listen.
Raw chicken.
That ain't being handled properly.
You're doing it.
Raw chicken in a bedroom is wild.
Raw chicken that close to your bed is where you rest your head is crazy.
Just the splatter component alone.
That's what I'm saying.
Man.
John Taffer would be shutting that down.
I'm telling you that right now.
Dude.
Shutting that down.
The food handling.
In that, it can't be...
You don't got proper utensils.
There ain't no cutting board.
Mm-mm.
They're running at...
They were thighs, though.
Thick thighs, and she's full of surprise.
When you're doing all thigh meat, you're a different kind.
But let's just say, forget about that.
That's off season, too.
She's in a full sweatsuit.
It can't be hot out down there.
I thought you assumed this was just made.
They're probably just down there.
It's still there.
They caught the after...
Because they've been saying that, like, right now is a really good time to go.
Cheap.
Yeah, cheap.
Get all that chicken.
If all that chicken's on sale, it didn't get sold over the summer.
That's Acme chicken for sure.
Listen, as a guy who's been to the Wildwood Acme and been in the discount meat
section,
that's got buy one, get one chicken on it for sure.
Where's the other pack?
Is that sitting in the sink?
I went crabbing.
But I was going to say, you have the air fryer down there, and let's say you go
to the store
and you get, like, some Totinos or something.
Imagine nice, fresh Totinos or little snacks in the air fryer at night.
Yeah, but you've got to keep that frozen.
You don't really have to.
The toasting?
What do you mean?
That means you've got to cook them right away, then.
Not for the day.
They'll be all right for the day.
If you put them in the refrigerator until that night, and then bang them out.
I mean, listen, you're down the shore.
I think you've got a lot of avenues to get cheap eats.
You know what I mean?
You get a slice of pizza.
I mean, if you're making, I'm not pushing back on them.
You're not getting chicken thighs for as cheap as you're going to make them in
the room.
I don't care who you are.
You go over to the Anglicy or whatever it is.
Well, I'm not saying it's a sit-down restaurant, but you can get, you know,
you can get some takeaway or something like that at one of the, get a gyro or
something like that.
A gyro down the shore?
They're running you out of town.
Oh, man.
What are you talking about?
There's no gyros down at Wildwood.
There is.
Is there?
Yeah.
Shout out to, like, they got them for sure.
Call them terrorist hamburgers.
Terrorist rap?
Yeah, but that is very Wildwood.
That's very more Wildwood than North Wildwood, for sure.
But many a night stayed in those, in, like, the Seashell Motel or the Lollipop
Club or whatever you're in.
That is, that's living.
That's the shore.
That's the shore for a lot of people.
I have, in all of our times, but we were even doing that, though.
Like, that's where we, not came up with, but, you know, our family innovated or
became aware of the hot cooler full of boiling water for the hot dogs all day.
Keep the hot dogs all day.
Take that to the beach.
So, it is the, you know.
This could be the start of a family tradition for these folks.
Couple of years, the kids are running around.
You know what I mean?
Stealing your wallet.
Mom's got some wings going on in the air fryer.
Uh-huh.
A little bit of feathers on them.
I, listen, if you are, you know, they, she, they even said, like, bowling on a
budget or budget, budget, budget baby or something like that.
If you're on a budget, the air fryer, you get an air fryer for 20 bucks.
Home run.
Then you go get, you know, you go pack a chicken.
Pack a chicken.
Pack a meatball, something like that.
Cook them up.
Oh, fuck.
It's great.
It's, it's, if you can't afford to take, you know, I believe they have kids.
I did a little, a little deep dive on them.
Oh, you did?
Yeah.
So, that's why the cartoons are on?
I don't know if the kids are there.
I don't see the kids.
Mm-mm.
But, you know, pack a chicken.
Like you said, it's, you can.
Is that a crushed BL can at the end of the bed?
I don't know what that is.
No