Name: Katherine Blanford! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-09-28T23:00:41.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Katherine Blanford! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-28. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Katherine Blanford! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-09-28. Transcript available.

Katherine Blanford! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find
that they grew up to be classy.
They're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She just got back from doing the Rorschach test.
Okay.
Crazy.
My coach is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world, and
I love him.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James, Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Shout out to you.
Thanks for tuning in.
As always, please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Full video available over there on Spotify.
And the boys are climbing the charts over there.
Yes, sir.
And obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
Go over there and get all that bonus content.
Uh-huh.
And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean
incredibly special guest
here with us today for the first time.
She's one of our faves.
We've been wanting to have her on the show for a long time.
She's a very funny stand-up comedian.
You can hear her every week on her amazing podcast, Coastal Idiots, with our
good pal,
Mr. Shane Torres.
Shout out to him.
Give it up for Catherine Blandford, everybody.
There she is.
Just flew in from L.A., baby.
Just as she said.
I said, are we still good?
She goes, I just landed.
That was like an hour ago.
Actually, she didn't fly in from L.A.
She flew in from Kentucky, where she was at a music festival doing mushrooms.
Doing mushrooms with Pete Lee.
And now you didn't get a hotel, you got a storage unit that you're staying in
in midtown Manhattan.
Yeah, I'm staying in a garage.
Yeah.
Okay?
Add that to Dunkin' Donuts, tall boy, that you have in front of you.
Can I see the order?
Yeah, it's actually kind of-
Light roast, almond milk, one espresso shot.
It's not as strong-
That's pretty classy.
Well, why light roast?
Light roast, and an espresso shot?
I didn't ask for light roast.
I said, give me drip.
And then she looked at me and judged me.
This bitch can't handle regular drip.
She was checking out the ice.
I'll go, give me that drip, drip.
Mm-hmm.
All right, I'll give you that.
But my pod is-
Man, right into the shameless plugs.
I respect this.
Just let me tell you about pod 39.
Oh, she's talking about the hotel.
Oh, Jesus.
No, not that.
I forget about that pod.
She's staying at one of those weird Japanese hotels with all the businessmen.
Are you saving that much?
Yes.
How much is it a night?
I'm paying $1,200 for three nights.
That's not that-
Yeah, that's crazy.
That's expensive.
Yeah, I know.
Have you looked at any other hotels around New York?
It's insane.
No, I live here.
I don't need to say.
I never thought about it that way.
I stayed in a couple this summer in the middle of July.
City Club Hotel.
Things weren't going great.
Yeah, it was actually very affordable and nice.
No way.
So I left there.
How many friends do you?
You have friends here, right?
You didn't have one friend you could have stayed with?
That New Yorker, there's no room for a guy his size-
It is a big ask.
It is a big ask.
To crash at your house for a couple of weeks.
And not really.
Yeah.
Plus, I was crying a lot and all that stuff.
It wasn't a great hang.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
But that's my personal-
Neither here nor there.
My personal controversies are not on trial here.
Wait, isn't it nice?
You could have saved-
You didn't save that much money.
You could have got a regular hotel.
No, I won't.
I won't.
When I'm in New York, I like to be like, oh, I want to suffer.
Shared bathroom?
No, not shared bathroom, but no bathroom almost.
It's like in the living room type deal.
Yeah.
I hate that.
It's called a toilet bath shower.
All in one.
They have that at the Tommy in Austin.
In Austin.
Yeah.
Toilets in the shower.
I love that I stayed there.
It all goes into one drain.
Yeah, no, that's the worst.
If I could wake up half drunk in the middle of the night, you'd fucking fall
and snap your neck.
Well, you just take a shower and you pee at the same time.
I've done that.
And then you go down in the lobby to go number two.
Is that what you do?
Yeah.
Really?
Why?
Guys, have you never been in a new relationship?
Oh, there was somebody in there with you.
Yeah.
I've got to go check.
The Wi-Fi's not working.
I would have went three towns over.
What are you?
Nice guy.
You've got to know there's a line of new girlfriends.
I thought you were in there by yourself.
Nay, nay.
Okay.
That makes sense.
Never in the Tommy.
You were that much of a lady.
Shoot.
I keep thinking I want to be trashy.
You should be a Southern Belle, no?
No.
Yeah, give us the backstory, by the way.
Okay, okay.
Because I don't.
Start from jump.
I know.
I don't know what I am.
I don't know if I'm classy or trashy.
I got a pretty good indicator.
I got a pretty good indicator.
I look adorable.
Sure.
I'm so cute.
Uh-huh.
You have a loose cannon.
Yeah, I grew up in a cul-de-sac, though.
Really?
My first car was a champagne Mazda protege.
All right, slow down, slow down.
These are great.
I like this.
Where did you grow up?
Louisville, Kentucky.
Louisville, Kentucky.
Yeah.
In the suburbs or in the city proper?
Suburbs.
The whole city's kind of a suburb.
No, suburbs.
Suburbs, suburbs.
Okay.
We were in a cul-de-sac.
Now, here's the dilly.
My family was doing the best of all the aunts and uncles and cousins.
I understand.
Both my parents grew up on tobacco farms.
My dad is one of ten.
Really?
Wow.
His brothers are his cousins, and his aunt is his stepmom, kind of.
His brothers are his cousins.
I didn't stutter.
Is that true, or they're like his?
No, there's his cousins.
My grandpa.
Wait, what?
Let me explain.
Let me explain.
It's just some real hillbilly shit we got going on here.
My grandpa.
Miss Light Roast?
Yeah.
Shot of espresso, my fucking ball sack.
This is my third one.
My grandpa was married to a lady.
They had three children.
He was a pilot.
He actually lied, and he was too young to be a pilot, so they kicked him out of
the war,
and he was training pilots in Texas, and he owned a farm.
It was some land or whatever, and his wife was driving to the airport to pick
him up,
got in a car crash.
She died.
The middle child died.
So he was widowed.
He was going back to war to train pilots.
He had two boys at home.
Her younger sister moved into the house to help with the boys.
That's what happened in The Patriot.
Mel Gibson started banging the sister.
Not until the end.
Don't matter.
She had to set out her.
She had to set the cans on her that one.
One of my favorite movies.
You know when I was growing up?
It was The Patriot and Emperor's New Groove.
What the hell is that?
Is that a cartoon?
It's a Disney cartoon, yeah.
It's Spain.
Dude, those are polar opposites, I'll give you.
You know that movie where he murders people with a hatchet?
All right, so that explains Cousins and the Brothers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Okay, they're 19 years apart.
So they had kids together?
Then they had eight more kids together.
They're 19 years apart.
Damn.
They had eight kids together?
Yeah.
So my dad's one of 10 total.
Whoa.
Gotcha.
And your dad does the best out of all the 10?
Pretty much.
Yeah, he went into the big city.
Most of my aunts and uncles.
Stayed on the tobacco farm.
How does that do?
It was booming.
Who do they sell to?
Until the vapes came around.
Until big vape biz.
I might have to get back on the heaters to help the bland farm.
I've got tobacco farm money.
Yeah, dog.
Did you ever work the fields or anything like that?
No, no, no, no.
We would just dance underneath the drying leaves in the barn.
Yeah.
Who do they sell to?
Do you know?
Was it R.J. Reynolds or Winston?
Who do you guys sell to?
A couple of big buyers.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
I don't know.
Big operation?
The Kennedys?
That's also, that is such a, that's such a girl thing to like not have any idea.
It's just like, yeah, I don't know.
They just, you ever ask a girl what her dad does?
They have no fucking clue what they do.
I don't know.
I don't know.
He sells light bulbs or something?
You're like, what?
I don't know.
New Mercedes shows up every couple of weeks.
I just assumed they showed up and they were like their own distillery or
something.
And they were just like.
Selling it.
Like they were also then out on the street selling, you know.
Who needs a big tobacco leaf?
Did they do well?
Was it a big operation?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How many acres?
He owned most of the land in Marion County slash Lebanon.
Your grandfather.
Yeah, which is close to Bargetown where all the bourbons made.
Ah, Bargetown.
Hillbillies love naming counties and or like greater swatches of land that they
think you know.
You know what I mean?
That's right by Sagerville.
You're like, what the fuck?
Marion County?
God damn.
And let me tell you, that's close to, and we call it Versailles.
Would you call it Versailles?
Yes.
But we call it Versailles.
And my dad, if you asked him where he is, where he's from, he'd say Lebanon.
Lebanon.
Lebanon.
I said a Lebanon.
Yeah.
All right.
Lebanon.
Hey, I'm with you on that.
Yeah.
Go birds.
Keeping it on.
Keeping it on.
Old school.
Okay.
Huh.
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Now, what did your dad do to do well?
You said he went to the big city.
He went to the big city, packed his bags.
I'm going to the big city.
Yeah.
He got a University of Kentucky pharmacist degree.
He's a pharmacist.
He met my mom from Owensboro, Kentucky, the borough.
Man, all your dad had to do was become a pharmacist and beat out eight guys.
That's big city living.
That's what I'm saying.
That ain't Marion County.
I don't know what is.
A lot he frickin' die.
Here comes Jim with all his pills and medicine.
Moved in the city, got his bartender license.
Right.
Wow.
Go ahead.
And then now he's selling pills and medicine to all the people that were
smoking the rest
of their lives.
Oh, yeah.
This guy's working both.
Yes.
Hold on.
He became a sales rep?
No, he's a big, he was a big pharmacist.
Owned pharmacy or like working for another company?
Work, dude, he worked night shift at Walgreens most of my childhood.
Really?
Yeah, dog.
Damn.
And that's doing well.
No.
I think pharmacists do very well.
I think they're fine.
Yeah.
He's not bright or anything.
He's, he was like.
He ain't book smart.
Yeah, he's not like.
He knows how to move a pill.
This is back in the day pharmacists.
Sure, okay.
You know what I'm saying?
This is like.
No, please explain.
They weren't like.
This isn't like we have to tell you by the books how you should take this
medicine.
Gotcha.
This is him sizing you up.
Still a while less than sizing you up.
More of a recommendation on how to use it.
What are you, about $2, $2.50?
You can handle yourself.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You like to party.
And what about your mom?
What did she do?
She was a nurse.
Okay, okay.
Yeah, she.
Pharmacists and a nurse.
I know, big meds, family.
And so was that their occupation to get you in the house in the cul-de-sac?
That's what they did.
Yeah, and how many brothers and sisters?
One older brother, two years older, one younger brother.
Five years younger.
That's great.
That's a good combo.
I know.
Now, here's the classy thing.
This is beautiful.
We went to Catholic schools our whole life.
All girls Catholic high school, all boys Catholic high schools.
Oh, you guys didn't go to high school together?
No.
Two years apart's perfect.
Me and my brother were two years apart.
It was great.
I know.
Isn't that so fun?
Yeah.
I had a senior when I was a sophomore.
They'd tell me nothing.
Now, boy, girl's th