Name: There Goes The Neighborhood | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-10-12T23:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'There Goes The Neighborhood | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'There Goes The Neighborhood | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-12. Transcript available.

There Goes The Neighborhood | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Hey, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find
that it's a group to be classy.
Yeah.
But they're just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Toadies in a New Edition.
She's over at the dentist trying to get her wisdom teeth re-taken out.
Put back in.
That's what we call drug-seeking behavior.
Sure.
But I like the grift, you know what I'm saying?
Hey, I respect it. A move's a move.
I'm going to go fill out an application myself.
I don't know how I'm going to get my tonsils taken out.
Ice cream.
Get your brain put back in.
My co-host is coming at you from across the table.
It's what we call a family episode.
Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is the foxhole guy.
Without this guy, I would be in a gutter.
That's still kind of hard, if we're being honest with you.
I am in a gutter.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
You got the arm now.
Shout out to you.
As always, thanks for tuning in.
Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Subscribe over there.
There's 260-some thousand strong over there on YouTube.
Woo-wee!
And also, full video available over there on Spotify.
Boys are climbing the charts.
Not the top of the charts.
Nobody wants to be at the top of the charts.
Too much attention at the top of the charts.
We're a middle-of-the-charts kind of team.
That's right.
Let's go upper-third kind of charts.
That's what we're doing.
Rock solid.
Moneyball, baby.
We're not showing off.
We come to play.
We're not for everybody.
We're for the homies and the bozos.
That's what we're doing.
When you sit down.
And that's what I care about.
When you sit down with the scouts, what do they say?
They get on base.
Uh-huh.
They get on base.
That's right.
Uh-huh.
Free base, that is.
Now hand me that pipe.
It's got a light bulb.
And obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
You go over there, you get all that bonus content.
Gang, about 15,000 strong over there on Patreon.
Listen, men lie, Foley lies, numbers don't lie.
The boys are making moves over here, thanks to the freaking, it's a grassroots
thing we got.
I don't work for those guys no more.
What?
Liars.
And also, the boys are on the road right now.
Yes, we are.
The Back on the Block tour.
We're coming.
We got a couple of shows in North Carolina.
We got Atlanta.
We got Skank Fest.
Glacca, glacca.
Get those tickets.
Philly, big show at the Met.
Get those tickets.
Big show at the Met.
Let's go.
Get some tickets.
Come out and see the boys.
And this year's strong.
Yeah, going to be a good one.
Or I'm going to kill myself.
Everything's going well.
I had a little bit of a quandary.
Okay.
All right.
If that's the right word the other night.
Probably not, but let's see.
So, I can't really get a read on what the neighbors think of me on my direct
hallway.
Like, open your door, another door, that's who we're talking about?
That's one neighbor.
Then there's two on this side.
Okay.
Okay?
Yeah, okay.
And then there's a nice young couple on the other side.
Okay.
Kid looks like he does, you know, I don't know, IT or something like that.
You know, nice kid.
Runner.
He looks like a cross-country runner.
Can I ask you something?
Please.
Do they know what you do?
For a living?
No, recreationally.
I hope not.
But hearing that from the fucking housing board.
Dude, what?
What the hell's he been doing in there?
It smells like that's a lot of potatoes.
A bottle of tequila.
I don't know.
I don't know what they think.
I know there's...
I got a few guesses.
I mean, when they see me walking the trash down in my bare feet with my Wolverine
toes,
I don't know what they think.
And I don't usually...
On my off days, I'm over there.
I like to relax.
So, you know, I don't put the makeup on.
Buddy, to be honest with you, you're pretty relaxed on your corporate days, too.
If I'm calling balls and strikes here, which is my job, you're a little...
You're a relaxed...
You're not a tailored fit kind of guy.
You're a relaxed...
I'm getting there, though.
I got the trim.
I got a little color.
I got the hair.
I'm working on it.
Don't push back.
You're relaxed.
One step at a time, right, Luke?
Maybe steps.
And what's the most important step?
The next one.
I was going to say lunch, but all right.
Gentlemen.
Yeah.
I don't know what they think.
I think a lot of people see me in that building, and they think to themselves,
what the fuck
could this guy possibly do to live here?
Yeah.
I think that's what they say.
Because most, you know, most...
Listen, you're in show business, the bottom rung.
Am I?
You got a finger in the door?
We're trying to close it.
We're on the other end.
We're on the other end, pulling off the top.
I told you we should get in with the Friars Club.
That's when you show business.
We go over there and do dinner and stuff like that.
Are you an entertainer?
Shout out to Pat.
I'm not going back since Pat Cooper passed.
Man, no shit.
That place has gone downhill.
All right, Pete.
We should maybe for a...
What are you, Ecliptomaniac?
We should maybe for a Patriot episode go hang out at the Friars.
We can get in.
Luke, find out the details of the Friars Club if we need a sponsor.
Those, they'd be falling all over us, a couple of high-class guys like you and
me rolling
in there.
Sir, you're going to need to put a pair of shoes on.
I had to get refills on the iced tea.
I went there with Costa one time.
I had a nice lunch.
It was great.
Uh-huh.
Nice little thing you put together.
Maybe we'll do that, yeah.
I'd love that.
We'd go to dinner and hang out.
Sure.
Call me.
Because you're an entertainer, right?
Okay.
Podcasting and stand-up comedy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I also do a little bit of acting.
Dabbling acting.
You're acting like you got it all together.
I'll give you that.
Not anymore.
Stop acting.
What can I do for you?
You don't, I mean, I would say, like, let's say you were in a band or something,
right?
Like, you're not keeping nine to five hours.
You're not putting a shirt and a tie and your finance vest and, like, hopping
on a city
bike and scooting to work.
Yeah, but, you know, I leave in the morning.
Some heaters.
You know, I come down to the lobby when people are leaving and getting in their
cars and all
that kind of shit.
I'm just saying you don't represent.
I got a pretty decent whip in the garage.
You're just saying you don't represent a corporate guy.
So, I think they're going, what's he's not, you know, you're not in finance.
No.
You're not in banking.
No.
So, they're going, you know, you're a little, I would say they're even more
creative.
But then, like, you're not, this isn't a shot at you.
One lady thought I was a baseball player.
Really?
No.
Okay.
No, not at all.
They're pretty cool, though.
Is that baseball?
Is she blind?
Are you Babe Ruth?
What the hell?
How you doing?
You've aged pretty poorly.
I'm just saying, like, if you were a band, like, you would be cooler.
That's all.
A little cooler.
Not, you know, walking around in your dirty N1 basketball shorts.
It's enough about that.
I retired those, by the way.
Put them up on eBay.
See what I can get.
I owe them money.
Hey, those Mayo Steens are authentic.
That's not Mayo.
I don't, I assume there's not a great opinion of me in that building.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
Just not, like, bad, but just, like, you know, he's the fat, slobby guy that I
see that,
I don't know what he's doing here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
That's what I'm saying.
I don't know why you're pushing back, but, yeah.
I'm not pushing back at all.
I'm saying you're right.
Sure.
I stink.
Yeah.
So.
I love you, though.
I love you, too, pal.
I was talking to Luke.
Oh.
I love you, too, buddy.
What could be said?
Goes double for me.
But you've got to be the neighbor that has a big smile saying hello to everyone,
I feel
like.
I do, and a lot of people fucking ice me.
They look, they look at me.
I'm with them.
I'm with them, too.
I got a couple people that I'm cool with.
You get in the elevator.
You're probably not going to say hi to me, either.
All right.
Jesus Christ.
I hope this thing, I hope this cable snaps and we plummet to our death.
I'm a big hold the elevator.
People are like, oh, we'll take the next one.
Oh, dude.
That's bad.
That's not good.
I had this one lady.
The dog wouldn't shut the fuck up.
This dog wouldn't stop barking at me.
Well, you even said.
And I'm trying to get on the elevator with her.
She's like, it might be best if you take the next one.
Sir, do you have cured meats in your pocket?
This fucking little rat dog fucking barking at me.
You're well documented that if the dog don't like you, you're jammed the fuck
up.
This dog's got issues.
Homeschooled.
That's how you're fighting with dogs.
That dog's got a real attitude problem.
Which fucking problem was.
Yeah, that was the worst.
Because I held the door forward and all that stuff.
I'm trying to do a little chit chat.
You know what I mean?
Just let them know.
You know?
I'm a good guy.
You know, I got one friend, this guy, him and his two sons.
They kind of, you know, they're kind of cool with me.
I got one guy, Mets fan, older guy.
I got one guy says, what's up?
Man, you are really prom king over there, huh?
I got this one couple.
They're both so attractive.
This tall, good looking black dude and his lady.
They're so attractive.
They look at me like I am fucking lawn furniture.
Sure.
And I try to be nice.
Nothing.
He even mean mugs me.
This guy would fuck me up.
Him and that dog go after you.
They don't got a dog.
There's a little one?
That's what I meant.
You know, the one you introduced into the scene?
I didn't take a swing to think this couple who I've never met had a dog who
also didn't like it.
I was talking about the dog you said.
They got two little kids.
The kids don't like me either.
Anywho, whatever.
That's neither here nor there.
I think it's everywhere.
Yeah, it is.
Walls are closing in.
So, the nice couple, the young couple.
Yeah?
Good looking couple.
Which, I would assume, you know, they're always walking, they're running.
You know what I mean?
I always see them coming back from Costco.
They use umbrellas.
Like, they always have their umbrella.
That's somebody who's got their shit together.
Yeah, there's always.
A couple with two umbrellas?
Yeah.
They know what they're doing.
I feel Luke and his girl probably got umbrellas.
I hold.
What?
If you take one, I hold.
Oh, God.
You really?
Walking down the street?
I hate it.
Ah, it drives me nuts.
I hate it.
Plus, my whole back's getting wet.
Plus, you got to put it mostly on them to be the good guy.
Of course.
It sucks.
That's why when you find one of those big golf umbrellas, you fucking steal it.
Yeah.
Get a, what's it?
A.I.G. umbrella or something like that?
Yeah, some big.
Woo-wee!
With a wooden handle?
Something you won for, like, closest to the pin or something.
I feel like Mr. Peanut walking around with that thing.
I always steal one of those when I can.
Get a lesson to you kids out there.
Find a big umbrella, you fucking steal it.
Those little shitty ones stink.
But I digress.
Mm-hmm.
Either way, based on physical appearance alone, I just assume these people look
down on me
in some capacity.
You know what I mean?
Whether it's my cholesterol, my size, whatever.
Anyway, give them a, hey, how you doing?
Whatever.
The other night, I'm coming home, let's say, after business hours.
Okay.
Let's say it's about midnight.
Mm-hmm.
After midnight.
I walk by their door, and their keys are in there.
Whoa.
In the lock, and it's shut.
And it's after midni