Name: Classy Gift Guide w/ Sal Vulcano | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-10-19T23:00:31.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Classy Gift Guide w/ Sal Vulcano | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-19. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Classy Gift Guide w/ Sal Vulcano | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-10-19. Transcript available.

Classy Gift Guide w/ Sal Vulcano | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Hear ye, hear ye, Philadelphia area and the tri-state surroundings.
The boys are coming back to Philadelphia December 13th for the biggest show we've
ever done.
We want to sell this puppy out at the Metropolitan Theater. Come see us.
Yeah, all tickets available at RUGarbage.com.
Get the homies, get the bozos, get your mom, get Aunt Tootie, get Cousin Donna,
get everybody, and we'll see you there.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of RU Garbage,
the show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is RU Garbage.
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find
that if they're good to be classy,
or just a big old piece of trash,
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She just got into a big fight with the deli guy at the Acme.
Oh, no.
She said slice it thin.
Not thin enough?
My co-host is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of RU Garbage.
You get what you pay for.
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole way I want, and
I love him.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin James Ryan.
Hey, what up, gang?
Shout out to you.
As always, make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Also, full video available over there on Spotify, and we're climbing the charts
over there on Spotify.
I always say not to top of the charts, the meaty part of the curve.
We're in there, though.
We're not showing off.
We're not causing a ruckus.
We're just there, doing well.
Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
Slash RU Garbage.
You go over there, you get all that bonus content, gang, 15,000 strong over
there.
That's right, Kippy and gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our Incredibly,
and I mean Incredibly Specialist, who's in sticker shock right now.
I noticed Holy Shirt is pressed today.
I've just been sleeping in it, that's all.
I lay on my back still, very still.
Gang, he's absolutely family at this point.
You know him.
You love him.
He is currently on the Everything is Fine tour, and you can get tickets at salvolcanocomedy.com.
November 14th, he's going to be where?
Chicago Theater.
The Chicago Theater, baby.
I thought that was a question.
I didn't realize it was rhetorical.
That's big time.
That's as nice as it gets, the Chicago Theater.
Here's another one.
December 27th, he's going to be there in New York City at the Beacon Theater on
the Upper West Side.
Let's go.
That's right, December 29th.
December 29th?
Day of December 27th.
That's not on me.
Someone's getting fired.
Someone's losing their goddamn head.
I think it's me.
And his amazing special, Terrified, is now streaming on HBO Max.
Do yourself a favor.
Give it up for the one, the only.
He might come in a little al dente, but he's the big Z.
Give it up for Salvolcano, everybody.
Thank you.
Look at him.
It's good to be back.
It's good to be in the space where I'm known as the BZ.
The hair looks, it's always looked good.
What's going on?
It looks coiffed.
It looks good.
You got some color, too.
You're looking good.
Whoa, guys.
Did you do plugs?
What'd you do?
No.
Colored?
No, I didn't color it at all.
This is my hair.
He looks good, doesn't he?
I had a bit of a coiff going.
I did an air dry today.
And then what I did, I left the house with a hat that's somewhere around here.
It's under your seat.
Yeah, it's somewhere around.
And then I just, right before, I said, you know what?
Let me do au naturel with you guys, because you guys didn't have it.
And so I took it off.
But this is just air dry.
Back me up on this.
The hat will sometimes, it's like going to get your hair done.
It's perfect.
Well, this is why.
Doesn't it come out?
Sometimes you put a hat on, you take it off.
You're like, holy shit.
Yes.
I'm going to have to sit this one out, gang.
Hey, what were you saying?
That's the technique, though.
It's like I get out of the shower, I put on a hat, I wait for it to dry within
the hat.
Really?
And get, like, matted down a little bit.
And then I take it off, I put my hand through it, and I hope for the best.
It doesn't always work.
Roll on the dice.
Wait a minute, hold on a second.
Like today, you thought it was coiffed and colored.
That's not what I was going for.
Wait, you get out of the shower and put the hat on immediately?
Well, let me tell you.
So you're walking around naked with a hat?
Well, let me tell you, let me tell you, I usually don't put on a cap, a ball
cap, but
I put on a scully, I put on, like, a wool cap.
This guy's not, I swear to God.
They're doing it upside down down there in Staten Island.
Like the perverted cat burglar breaking in.
You know when girls, they get their hair done, then they sleep with a stocking
over their
hair to maintain, you know?
Similar vibes.
What I don't want is frizz.
Nobody does.
No.
And so I-
I kill for frizz.
Frizz ruined this country.
And so I put that on, and I usually do it for, like, the first, like, 15.
No kidding.
And then I take it off, then I let the air hit it.
Huh.
And then after about another 10, I put it back on for about another 5.
Keep it guessing.
Muscle confusion.
It's not an exact science.
It's not an exact science.
And some days it really bites me in the ass.
But a lot of times it's what-
Does that not itch the top of the forehead?
You know what I do?
I push it all the way back to the line.
This guy's nuts.
So it doesn't bother my forehead at all.
And the hat slams wool.
So that's also-
That's a baby sheep.
Yeah, that's nice.
That's all right.
I'm not using mutton.
Yeah.
Whoa.
That's classy and trashy right there.
But today you didn't do that.
Today you broke out the hairdryer.
No, I didn't.
I let it air dry.
You air dry.
And then I was leaving the house.
I was like, oh, I made a critical error here.
Because it looked like I just got a new Dyson air dryer.
It looked like I-
Have you tried that Dyson air wrap?
That thing's wild.
What's that all about?
I got it.
I do.
You dropped the Dyson.
I heard it.
Very good.
Yeah.
Very classy.
Wait, what's the air wrap?
Listen, cool guys are talking over here.
I'm sorry.
Listen, Dyson has a huge product line.
A lot of SKUs.
Crazy.
And they've gotten into the hairdryer market.
Man, first time SKUs been dropped on a show 500 episodes.
I wouldn't want anybody but Big Z to do it.
That's it.
And that's what you do.
And Dyson now, anything has to do with air coming in or going out.
They got you.
Get cool in the market.
I'm making fart machines now.
You know what else I did?
They have a consumer Dyson and they have a professional Dyson.
And I don't know if it's like just for smoking, just for show, but they want
you to put in your information and prove that you're a hairstylist.
To get that version and I just fudged it, which probably anyone can do.
And they make you think like, this is probably pretty genius.
It's like 200 more than the consumer model.
And I'm like, I got to get the professional model because I have an inch long
hair that I blow dry every six to eight months.
Did you make up a name for the hair salon?
I probably did.
I did.
I think it asked you for a business.
Salon by Sal.
I don't remember what it was.
This was years ago now.
I've been doing a professional Dyson for years.
This ain't new to me.
And I remember like it accepted it.
And I was like, oh my God, I have access to the professional dryer.
That's pretty good.
You write that off too.
I'm such a dirtbag.
My wife got one and then I started using it to dry stuff around the house.
The baby would like pee and I'd have to wash something and his onesie.
What is it?
I'm sorry, because you're using efficiency and using it at its almost
functionality?
I was doing it.
You're not a piece of garbage for that.
I don't know.
I would say that you're smart for that.
It didn't feel great, if I'm being honest.
It's three in the morning.
I'm drying stuff with a hairdryer.
I use the hairdryer for everything but my hair.
Oh, interesting.
We're talking paint, B-hole, front package.
Let me talk to you here.
You should look into a diffuser.
Huh.
For the hair or for the-
For your body.
No kidding.
Yeah, because, well, at least with the Dyson, if you're on the highest setting
of power
and the highest setting of heat, you're going to want to be careful around the
important
parts.
Chestnuts roasting on an open fire.
What a diffuser does is it doesn't come out like a wind turbine.
You know, it just comes out diffused.
So, it's like the heat is in the air.
Are you working for Dyson or something?
Yeah, what have you been doing for a while?
I'm not.
It's crazy.
I should.
I should.
No, the diffuser is not strict to Dyson.
That's just it.
That's an industry term.
I'd like that stricken from the record.
And that could be bought by the layman as well.
That's just professionals like me at Hair by Sal.
Yes.
Designed by Sal.
Designed by Sal.
But you've got a great thing going right now, too.
Thank you.
Everything's falling in line.
Thank you.
The length is nice.
Thank you.
And you've got a thing where it looks slick but not in a greasy way.
Thank you.
That's the crew forming cream.
Oh, crew.
Yeah, no crew.
Yeah.
What do you put in there?
I, Virtue, not the signal, but I went out, the last time I did like a photo
shoot where
the lady had this one that really, it looked natural even though it was in the
hair.
It gave me body bounce and volume, but you couldn't tell I had product in.
Body bounce and volume.
That's what everybody likes.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
Not bad.
But that's not in it today.
Because if I don't put it in when it's just on its last leg of dampness, then
it's also
a travesty what happens with the dry hair.
And the virtue.
I got you.
There really is an art to it.
There really is a science and an art to it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We came in hot and swinging.
We came in hot and swinging.
Hot topics.
I'm all about it.
Right at the best.
That's how we do it.
Also, classy guy wearing the merch.
Of course.
Look at him.
Wearing the merch.
Classy guy.
Pay retail for that.
I try to do that with you.
I saw you do it.
And then I try.
You got to pay back.
It's a nice gesture.
I've always been so humbled and appreciative that you have some of my shirts.
I buy everybody's.
Just it's nice.
It's nice.
And I sat down and said, one day I remember it hit me.
I was like, I got to buy some merch from some of my buddies that I'm a fan of
and all that
stuff and wear it and rock it.
So this is not just for you.
I've worn this on Jokers.
You have.
I have.
Yes.
People send us the shots of it.
Yeah.
I've worn it.
I do have to say, I got stopped when I was wearing the God bless your, which I
love.
I love the t-shirts that you use on that.
Very classy.
Not cutting corners around that.
Very classy.
That you got about two washes.
All sales final.
It's done me well.
I was wearing it.
This is how cool this guy is.
I don't know if I ever told you this.
I was wearing it.
I was at a UFC event and some guy was like, hey.
You were fighting?
There's a lot you don't know about me.
So we were doing well.
You're in the ring.
Your shirt's tight and a half knot at your belly.
I'm the card girl.
Getting the shipping out of you by Ronda Rousey.
I mean, we would get beat by her, right?
Oh, my God.
But there's no doubt, right?
Not even.
I'm not one of those guys to be like.
What is there in the doubt?
Is there any doubt at all?
No.
Okay, 100 out of 100 times?
Yes.
No, maybe if I got her in the spleen or something and she, you know.
What?
You don't even know where that is.
No, but I'm saying it would be pure luck.
I swear to God, tell me to point to it.
Yeah, where's your spleen?
I'm not saying I'd be going for it.
I'm just saying if I land a kidney shot and she drops, maybe then.
Okay, all right.
You don't have a brain.
So you're saying there's a chance.
Yeah.
That's with anyb