Name: Having Asthma Attacks w/ Ian Fidance | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-11-10T00:00:39.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Having Asthma Attacks w/ Ian Fidance | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-10.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Having Asthma Attacks w/ Ian Fidance | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-10.

Having Asthma Attacks w/ Ian Fidance | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Donna, Pam, listen, did you get your tickets yet for the R U Garbage show at
the Met?
R U Garbage with Kevin Ryan and H Foley. The two I showed, yeah, the bold and
the fat one,
yeah, them two. Yeah, they're at the Met. I know, must be nice, all fancy at
the Met,
made it big, you know. But make sure you go on there and get your tickets
because I know
they're probably going to sell out quick, you know. And I'm telling you right
now,
I hope Aunt Toddy's there because guess what? I'm going to be having a
conversation with her
that bitch owes me $80 from that beef and beer at Paddy Wax. Yeah, so I'll be
having a
conversation with her for sure. All right, so go online and get your tickets.
All right, so long.
Welcome to another exciting edition of R U Garbage, the show where you find out
if your favorite
comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts,
Kevin Ryan and H Foley.
Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is R U Garbage.
Hey, yeah. It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians. Not
today, but what are you going to do?
And we find out if they used to... Bookings are tough.
I'm available.
If they grew up classy, if they're just a big old piece of trash.
I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a glorious day. We're out back here
with Tootie's in a new edition. She was just toilet paper in the neighbor's
place.
Okay.
My coals is coming at you from right next to me, a little too close.
Father of the year. He's little kippy. He's an old man.
Yeah.
And it ain't his kind of rock and roll. Give it up for KJ. Kevin James Ryan,
everybody.
Still rock and roll to me, dog.
Shout out to you, gang. Thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you
rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube. Also, full video available over there on
Spotify, baby.
Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com, slash RU
Garbage.
You go over here, you join the over 15,000 members of the goddamn Patreon, dog.
Army of garbage.
Kids are kicking over there. Love that money.
And then, obviously, the...
Spotify?
No, I did Spotify.
Tickets for the December 13th show at the Met.
There you go. Tickets for the Met, December 13th, available at RUGarbage.com.
Boys are coming home.
They're going quick. Grab them.
Just fucking be normal for once.
I'd like to redo the Tootie.
Aunt Tootie just got back from the pet store.
She bought an alligator.
Gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our Incredibly, and I mean Incredibly
special guest back with us again today.
You know him. You love him.
He is the co-host of the B&E and podcast with Jordan, sometimes.
Give it up for Ian Finance, everybody.
Hi, everybody. Thank you so much for having me.
A lot of guest hosts these days.
I'm going home.
Having a ball. I'm so happy to be here.
You got your heaters. You got your snot rag.
You got your comb. You have some notes written down.
It looks like you're about to open a table at a flea market, dude.
I do have some things that I could sell.
You're a bag lady.
Ian brought us a shopping bag as a gift.
I brought a shopping bag of gifts.
A stop and shop bag.
It is the season of giving.
That you definitely didn't pay for.
No, it's not.
Yeah, it is. It's November.
That's the season of giving?
November to the end of December is a seat.
Well, November's a month.
What are you, Alexis commercial? What are you talking about?
November's gratitude month, and then December, obviously, is Christmas.
And Hanukkah.
And Kwanzaa.
Kwanzaa.
Yes.
And other made-up things.
But I have a bag of gifts for you guys.
I don't know when you want me to give them.
Just give them now.
Let's do it.
That's my travel show produced by YMH.
There you go.
That's the announcement.
Ian has a brand new travel show being produced by YMH.
Our good friends at your mom's house.
Ian do.
An odd guy doing odd jobs.
You can see it at YouTube.com slash Ian Finance Comedy.
So subscribe to my YouTube page.
Partnering with YMH.
It's a guest.
It's a blast.
The episodes are still not out.
They are.
I'm waiting on a technical year.
You are going to see the trailer when this comes out.
With an NC-17 rating.
A lot of gay sex.
There was an incident with the canine place I went to.
What's that?
Pet Smartian?
I got drug out of a Pet Smartian.
Pit me a little too hard.
Empty jar of peanut butter falling on the ground?
I went to a canine, Akilah Canine Services in Chicago.
Akilah Canine Services?
That's the name of the place.
I think I mentioned it on the show and they hit me up.
Are we in reruns already?
Fuck, we're three minutes in.
You're telling stories you told last time.
I actually told this story last time I was here.
Ian, you grew up in Delaware, right?
At the canine services, I ran into my old imaginary dear friend, Vinatio.
Oh, boy.
Shout out episode 36, probably.
See, the pills are working.
Episode 36?
I don't know.
What are you, in season nine already?
36?
Oh, no.
Episode of this show.
That's what they do with bad game shows.
They film like 100 episodes and it gets canceled.
Dude, I have so many episodes filmed.
Is that true?
I have so many episodes.
When are you dropping this?
This thing's never going to seem to light a day.
Once we get all the media and assets together with YMH and then the episodes
will come out.
Stop trying to sound more business.
Media and assets.
You don't know about media assets?
Quick stop at Kelly Clarkson.
It'll be out then.
Doing the Jennifer Hudson show.
Shout out Al Roker for the plug.
I'm in a little hot water already about the Kwanzaa comment.
Would you like to do the Jennifer Hudson show?
Is that the one where they dance?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Would you do that?
I would do the worm in a heart.
It's Ian.
He's a creep.
It's Ian.
He's sheep.
It's Ian.
He's grinding on the guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's backing it up and dumping it on some dude.
It's Ian.
HR.
It's Ian.
Please don't do that.
Why is he choking himself with the microphone?
Hey, walk in the green room.
You got your sack tucked back.
What the hell?
You hand Jennifer Hudson the remote to your butt plug?
Why is Goodbye Horses playing over and over?
Goodbye Horses?
The song during Sides of the Land.
Like, have you ever met Jennifer before?
I'm like, is she a great big fat person?
You want your gifts?
Yeah, please.
Dude, you smell like a stepdad.
It's crazy.
Between the heaters and the right guard or whatever you got going on.
Give us the gifts now, because he's taking out the trash in a minute.
Sorry.
Jean-Paul Gaultier is a cologne, and natural pheromones, no deodorant.
Smelling scratchers.
So I.
He's smelling a cab driver in Athens.
That's what you want.
In Athens?
Wait, you mean cab driver wouldn't work?
What?
I don't know.
I was in a cab one time in Athens.
Athens, Georgia?
That's a bad part of tight, though.
I was at five.
Well, me in Atlanta.
I was at five points.
I need a ride.
Listen, hold on a second.
Back this up real quick.
Jean-Paul Gaultier Le Male?
Is that what you're using?
The guy with the body and the stripes?
Mm-hmm.
Wow.
Mm-hmm.
You still going to shampoo?
What are you doing over there?
I have been using that cologne since high school.
It's your birthday, Thursdays.
Dude, shampoo.
Ian's about to give me a shirt with fucking cat hair on it.
I can see it already.
Dude, that's crazy.
Oh, yeah, you're right.
I had them out, and I used it to lay on it, but it's a little souvenir from Ian.
I'm allergic to cats.
Isn't that cute when they lay in your luggage when you're packing?
You forget them in there one time.
I wish.
I would love to have a road cat.
That would be the coolest.
A road cat?
Yeah, just bring him on the road, and he's a cat.
A road cat.
He wouldn't make it if you put him in your bag, and it got put under the thing.
I wouldn't do that.
I don't check bags, man.
I mean, I got to give him Gabapentin before they go to the...
Gabapentin?
I got to do it to him, too.
I've had to make that joke.
I think you've told this story, and I've made this joke.
I've heard Gabapentin before.
You got to put it in a thing of cheese.
Henry.
Gabapentin sounds like one of those new starlets out there in Hollywood.
Gabapentin.
She's very good.
Unlike you?
Yes.
Give us the t-shirt.
The boys are in.
And what?
You're going to give me a fucking two?
Oh, that's actually really nice.
The Morton Salt Girl Ian Fidance Tea.
I brought one for everyone except the new guy whose name I don't remember.
I didn't know he was going to be here.
If you could guess his name, what do you think his name is?
Mark.
What's up, Mark?
Mark's pretty good.
Edgmanstore.com.
You can get these and get them on the road.
Edgman?
Yeah, Jimmy Edgman.
That's who does my merch.
You don't sell your merch on your website?
Out of Detroit.
I do.
Ianfinance.com for my merch.
Out of Detroit.
Yeah, that's where they make my merch.
USA, all the way up.
I like to support local.
In America.
Okay.
What size did you get me?
I got an XL for KJ.
Uh-huh.
What?
I'm a large.
He's a medium now.
I got a large.
You want a large?
Who's the large for?
I'm never going to wear this.
I'll wear it if it fits, but I know it's not going to fit.
Henry?
Keep going.
I was going to bring a 3X, but I didn't want to insult you.
How big is that bag?
Insult me.
Insult you?
2X?
Well, I got a gift that I'll insult you in a minute.
And this is for Luke.
Your website takes you to Edgman.com.
Let me tell you something.
This is a very nice quality shirt.
Comfort colors.
This is very nice.
It makes a great shirt.
If you like a nightie, you can get a triple size.
Pop it on.
Should we?
Kevin?
Why not?
Now I'm going to have to wash this thoroughly.
This one does not have cat hair.
What?
This one does not have cat hair.
The medium does.
Luke, sorry.
Hand up.
That's my fault.
If you want cat hair, it's $5 extra.
Oh, and there's a medium.
I was going to get a small for your son to wrap him up in.
He could grow into it.
He's very anti-fi dance, and that's his choice.
I haven't indoctinated him at all.
That's interesting because I bought him, you, and your wife a gift.
Let's see it.
Now, this is for you, KJ and fam.
Okay.
Thank you.
Because I haven't given you a gift for your son yet.
Where'd you get ricine this time of year?
I've been holding you a pack of cigarettes.
That's edgeman.com, folks.
For all your boys and me.
We got cat hair.
I can't get it.
He's got no fingernails.
He bites them down.
Sweet.
Lice.
He loves it.
There you go.
Now, it did not arrive yet, so this is a printout that I laminated.
Silica gel, what I always wanted.
Pop it in your drink.
It'll fuck you up.
Keep your asshole dry.
And so I printed out the order.
I got a candle for your house.
Looks like a fucking Quest Labs bag.
A blanket for your son with a personalized note that says.
Good luck, Mark.
Little Prince of Garbage.
Little Prince of Garbage.
It's very cute.
A sideline striped maroon blanket.
Philly's colors.
Philly's colors.
A fireside fur candle.
Then you use the discount code.
Typically, you use.
That was not supposed to be on the slip.
How do you know he used a discount code?
It says Chappie 15.
And he saved $6 on the candle.
You piece of shit.
You saved $12.75 on the blanket.
Chappie 15, $12.75 on the.
You saved 15%.
Yeah.
Why did I use a discount if they offer?
That's a pretty expensive Campbell.
15%?
You saved $6.
Let me tell you.
This all together.
That's like a $30 candle or something like that.
Let me tell you something.
This all together.
The invoice is coming.
This all together.
I just got to the checkout.
Monetarily.
Just took the picture.
Monetarily, this was worth what Foley weighed in grade school.
That was $700?
Thank you very much.
That's very sweet.
$200, yes.
That is very sweet.
Give me mine.
Give me, give me, give me.
Better not be some dumbass candle either.
Henry, this is a mirror to take a look at yourself and dig deep.
But it also says, you have value, Henry.
You should be chopping up lines on that thing.
Yeah, that's all right.
I could have us