Name: After Hours at the Bar! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-11-27T00:00:02.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'After Hours at the Bar! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-27. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'After Hours at the Bar! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-11-27. Transcript available.

After Hours at the Bar! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, we are giving away free VIP packages to come back
and meet me and Kippy after the show.
Get a little merch, enjoy yourself, and hang out with me and Kippy.
Yeah, we're going to be backstage. You just have to purchase your tickets
before December 1st.
Click the link in the description to sign up, and we're going to announce the
winners.
We'll see you there. Love you. AreYouGarbage.com.
Yeah.
Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians, and we find
that I think you're about to be classy.
Yeah.
Just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here at Tootie's in a new edition.
She just told me she just had a protein shake.
Okay.
My coach is coming at you from across the table.
I don't get it.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He's an international businessman, father of the year, and when he walks
through a Home Depot, they all kneel because he's the king of the burbs, baby.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin, James, Ryan, everyone.
What up, gang?
Shout out to you.
As always, thanks for tuning in.
Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes, full video available on
YouTube, full video available over there on Spotify, and the boys are in the
middle of the charts.
That's where we belong.
We're not showing off.
We're not making headlines.
We're not making moves on anybody.
We're there.
We're not falling behind.
We're at the party.
We're having a good time.
You look over, we're vibing.
We're vibe, guys.
Philly show.
Philly show.
Big show.
Big show in Philadelphia.
Obviously, we've been plugging the balls off of that.
We want that to be a fucking hum-a-dingy.
Yes, sir.
Biggest show we've ever done.
And then if you haven't seen the post, the amount of this and that.
New merch drop.
New merch.
Holy shit.
I forgot about that.
Boys got a lot going on over here.
Got the new merch drop.
Got the garbage.
You got the trash, trash, trash.
You're just making stuff up.
You got the tootie.
It's all just things in our world.
You got the bug, man.
We do.
Go check out the merch, obviously, on the website.
And then we just announced a whole slew of new shows, daddy-o.
We got Austin, Texas.
We got Tampa, Florida.
We got Chicago.
We got Bloomington.
We got Nashville.
We got Pittsburgh.
We got Cleveland.
Get your techies.
The boys are hanging.
Some club weekends in there.
Boys are doing club weekends.
Looking forward to it.
Hanging out.
Doing a long club.
It'd be like real comics.
Get to go out on a Saturday during the day.
See the town.
Have lunch.
Just back to lunch.
Get it up.
By the way, I didn't realize I have a dented can.
Dude, I saw that.
Did you dent that or no?
No, no.
It didn't dent when I fell.
Dude, you have such dented can vibes as a guy.
If a guy was a dented can, it'd be you.
Dented can and crooked heaters.
Remember that one I pulled out at the airport the other day?
Dude, I looked.
It was like right before the firing squad.
Looks like a piece of lost luggage.
By the way, I just saw they executed a guy by firing squad.
You're still doing that?
Can you.
Do you get a blindfold in the heater?
Some places you can chew that you at least.
Like a Mad Libs.
But can I drink this or is this going to have botulism in it?
What do you mean?
I don't know.
They're bad.
Botulism will kill whatever you got going on.
Taste the tetanus flavor.
Rabies.
I'm scared of rabies.
Some places I think there's still like on the books that you can say, I want to
go this
way, but I don't think you really can.
You can.
Okay.
You can.
You can decide.
I think there's a short list of ways to go and firing squad is one of them.
Huh.
What's the way?
Is this state by state?
Because not every state is whack of people.
This is in South Carolina.
God.
Probably muskets.
Can I choose to get fucked to death?
I want to do death by hooves.
I meant the other way, but all right.
Nothing on that?
It's pretty good.
And how did you not get the tootie?
A protein shake.
Because you're a dad.
You're an old man.
You don't like rock and roll no more.
What do you think I mean?
She just had a protein shake.
I don't know.
I just gave it to you.
You get it?
Yeah.
Look at Luke.
It's a beech?
Yeah.
Why is that a protein?
That's what they say semen is.
It's protein.
Listen, I don't know what kind of circles you're running in, but I'm running a
clean ship
over here.
I run a clean shop.
All right, dad?
The missionary man.
Listen, I don't know.
You're doing your snowballs on a weekend.
I'm over here.
Do you have a crucifix above the bed now that you're a dad?
Sure.
A little palm on the door?
You do.
You do get the...
You do understand the...
Man, wait until he gets older and you're yelling at him and say, hey, get in
there.
Wait.
Scrub them elbows.
My dad always said.
I hit him whenever today.
Where the hell are you going?
Rolling all over the place.
You can't even walk.
I know.
He knows.
He knows.
He's rolling around?
Oh, yeah.
Like barrel rolls?
Yeah.
I used to love that.
You got a big head in your fucking...
Some of you go, you should be rolling straight, but he's got like a tire
pressure's bed or
something.
Like a drift car.
Like the sprint cars.
He keeps going in circles.
You know what I mean?
His head is the access and he walks around at.
Man.
Do you watch 60 Minutes every night now on Sundays?
I don't, but I do have to be honest with you.
I am finding a lot of solace and comfort in knowing.
I'm saying that like I'm a home, more of a home body now.
You know what I mean?
It's nice to like...
As opposed to your extravagant nightlife that you were living before.
Oak room.
I was just doing...
Popping bottles.
No, we just did these jokes to you.
You can't fucking flip it.
What'd you do these jokes to me?
I can't believe I'm walking around New Orleans having an ice cream cone.
You really romanticize your...
I'm not saying that.
I'm just saying...
Yeah, I just...
I find a lot of...
You know...
I'm not worried about the running around in spots.
The having beers with my jerk old buddies.
Chasing skirts around.
You got to grow up.
It's just a lot of...
You know, you find the joy in just being with your family.
You know what I mean?
You know what I'm talking about, right?
Your family still answer your phone calls?
They're looking for tickets for that Philly show.
Yeah, sure.
I did.
I've mentioned a little bit, but I do want to say we did...
What was it?
A couple...
Whatever.
Two weeks ago, we did Preston and Steve.
Yeah.
Man.
Good time.
And that was a show I grew up in a pickup...
I mean, like from my 20s when I was working for my family, you know, driving a
pickup truck,
I was listening to that.
Listening to Preston and Steve.
And I mean, that was the first time I heard about Burr Kreischer.
I was sitting at Busselton in Street Road, and he had...
I'm like, this guy, he was telling the machine story.
I called up my boy.
I said, we got to get frigging tickets.
That's when he was doing those daytime shows, right?
We did not get tickets.
We just ended up getting fucked up at the Bridgeboro Pub, I think.
But, yeah.
A couple of pros, that Preston and Steve.
Yeah.
Sharp.
Bang, bang, bang, back and forth.
Uh-huh.
And, dude, my mom, my mom, I tell you, Denise called me.
I heard your show on a radio.
You were on a radio this morning.
I know.
I'm like, given...
Dude, those guys are awesome.
I love that.
And it's just so funny that they're like, of all of the stuff we've
accomplished, my friends
and family came at...
Pat texted me.
He goes, what was it like being in the studio?
I go, what's the five...
What are you talking about?
I think it was cool.
But still, what?
Dude.
How's this dump?
My mom, she called me again yesterday.
I told you I heard this show.
Uh-oh.
You're looking for money or something.
Fucking dumb, bro.
What did that pay for it?
What?
Went in her, but she wants 10%.
Let me find out she's slipping.
I'll have her on the phone with you.
Henry and I have been married for 12 years.
Send you off to boarding school.
I'll pay you that right now.
I have a good idea for a Christmas present for you.
I'm going to get you a subscription to the newspaper.
Uh-huh.
So you can walk down to the end of the sidewalk and get it.
Why would I have a subscription?
I still got to go get the fucking thing?
No, they throw it in the driveway.
Oh, in the bird.
I'm going to specifically hire a paperboy to throw it in the wrong place.
Goddamn in the bushes.
So you got to walk down in your robe.
Uh-huh.
I'll get you a robe, too.
I'm not a robe guy.
I don't look good in a robe.
I'm too wide.
It don't look good.
It doesn't cinch well.
Negligé.
A nightie.
Something.
Which, by the way, can I tell you this?
I don't know where this is going.
I was over at Five Below the other day.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
A lot of good lingerie there.
Yeah.
I swear to God.
It's also like you're making fun of my rock star lifestyle.
I was over at Five.
What the hell is a guy like you doing?
I'm getting my vitamins.
You're getting doing it at Five Below.
I was getting vitamins.
That's where they take kids once they see you.
That's how you start potty training kids.
Hey, if you're going to potty, I'll take you to Five Below.
That's all I'm going to start doing to you.
I was with some people.
Stop peeing on the floor.
But they had these Christmas pajamas for broads.
And they're like skimpy short shorts and like a little top.
You liked that too, didn't you?
Yeah.
So I bought three pairs.
And no Five X.
Squeeze my little ass in there.
Mm-hmm.
Anywho.
Gang, this is what we call a family episode.
Just the boys, the bozos, and the homies.
Just the way we like it.
Especially around the holiday season.
That was a quick downshift you just did.
Throwing a brake retard.
Fucking double clutch drop that thing.
Pull the e-brake?
I always wanted to pull the e-brake.
I always wanted my brakes not to work so I could pull the e-brake.
I've had to do that.
Yeah?
Remember when the-
Somebody cut your brakes?
You piss a lot of people off, don't you?
I thought it was my stepdad for a long time.
Remember when my brakes went in a Montego?
We went on a road trip.
Remember that?
That was wear and tear.
I don't know.
He inspect-
It sat for a long time.
And then-
It sounded like the fucking Titanic hitting the iceberg.
I mean, we've talked about it.
But that was-
My Montego was the big-
I mean, I've had dirtbag car after dirtbag car.
The Lumina.
I had two Luminas.
I wrapped one around the telephone pole.
And then replaced it with the same exact car.
My brother also-
So at one point we owned three 1995 Chevy Luminas.
Two white ones and a silver one.
Or a powder blue or something like that.
I might take that one off your hands.
What one?
The one you got.
No, you're not.
I might.
I love that thing.
I'll steal it.
Neighbors hate it.
Hotwire it.
Go for it.
That'd be fun.
We should steal your car.
Tell me that wouldn't be a good prank.
100%.
Right?
What are you going to do?
Huh?
I'm half asleep in your rocking chair.
Uh-huh.
Old man Ryan in there.
I'm out there with a couple of fucking Kia boys.
I'm still out there living, dog.
Smoking K2.
Yeah.
Still out there living.
You're hanging out at the five below.
I wasn't hanging out there.
I was shopping.
I was asking for a job application.
They need seasonal work.
Oh, dude.
Seasonal work.
Seasonal work.
That's, let's, dude, flip.
Shout out flip.
Flip would do seasonal work for UPS.
And we might as well thought he was the goddamn CEO.
He would show up.
I'm making $14 in a tube.
That was when we were all making eight, whatever, nine.
He was making like double digit and he was the runner.
He would run from the truck to the house, truck to the house.
And he would come and c