Name: Flea Market Weapons w/ Dan Soder | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2025-12-18T00:00:01.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Flea Market Weapons w/ Dan Soder | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-18. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Flea Market Weapons w/ Dan Soder | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2025-12-18. Transcript available.

Flea Market Weapons w/ Dan Soder | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are You Garbage?
The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals
or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is Are You Garbage?
Oh, yeah.
It's that little show we sit there with your favorite comedians, and we find
out there to be classy.
So if they're just a big old piece of trash, I'm your host, H. Foley, coming at
you on a beautiful day.
We're out back here with Tootie's in a new edition.
She just got her first shipment of venison in here.
Okay.
A little chewy.
A little late in the season, I feel.
Venison? Sushi?
Shit.
Come on.
That's six hours down the drain.
Mike Coes is coming at you from right next to me.
He is the CEO of Are You Garbage?
He is an international businessman of my best pal in the whole wide world.
Give it up for KJ.
Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
What up, gang?
Shout out to you, as always.
Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Also, full video available over there on Spotify, baby.
Tell them.
And the boys are in the middle of the charts, right where we want to be.
I ain't at the top of the charts.
We ain't showing off.
No.
Meaty part of the curve.
No.
That's where the boys belong.
Then, obviously, the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com.
It's not sure you're garbage.
Check it out.
Check it out, gang.
We could be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special
guest back with
us again today.
As I say, family at this point.
One of the funniest, one of the most talented comedians out there in the whole
goddamn universe,
despite his misdirected fandom for the San Francisco 49ers.
Can't be perfect.
Mr. Dan Soder, everybody.
I also think at this point, it's just been established I'm garbage.
Oh, yeah.
This is just to go back to find the degree.
Yes.
This is like when you go back to Chernobyl to find out how bad it was.
We're carbon dating it.
We're just having fun now.
Yeah.
There's doctors up in the balcony looking down at you.
You got one of those readers.
Oh, it's really garbage in this part.
It's real garbage.
We got to get out of here in a couple of seconds.
It's like when they tested Albert Pujols, when they tested his hand-eye
coordination.
Oh, yeah.
And it was just...
Man, the fact that his fingering must have been incredible.
Albert Pujols.
He wasn't fingering chicks.
Were you nuts?
Yeah, but he was probably like, this is how I store you off.
I go store you off, then you go finish me off.
She goes around her room like a balloon.
Look at her fly all over.
We've been talking about this.
Now, you're a diner guy.
Yeah, love a diner.
Love a diner.
You like a cup of coffee, too?
Love a cup of coffee.
That's how you start every diner meal.
It's the hard-hitting stuff we get into.
You like coffee, Dan?
I love it.
I love it.
All these podcasts want to break down politics.
Comedy.
Comedy.
Nope.
I'll tell you, I start every diner meal.
Hit us.
Breakfast, lunch, or dinner, cup of coffee.
Cup of coffee.
Hey, goddamn gentleman.
Bring the coffee.
The older I get, the more I appreciate coffee with non-breakfast food.
It's great.
Pits.
Coffee and a turkey club?
Ooh.
What are you doing?
But I do this.
I got a case to solve.
I'll do the coffee, order the food, get a drink with the food.
Oh, of course.
And then refresh the coffee when I'm done with the food.
This is what we're getting into.
What is that drink?
Oh, it's changed.
What is it at breakfast?
What's the beverage order at breakfast?
Breakfast is going to sound crazy.
It's because I grew up drinking it.
Cranberry juice.
Whoa.
What?
Love cranberry juice.
Holy shit.
The Departed scene.
Pre all that shit.
I just fell in love with Ocean Spray's cranberry cocktail when I was a kid.
Oh, my God.
And I loved it.
OJ's fine.
I go OJ sometimes.
Not at a diner, though.
It's not good OJ.
Burek acid.
It is.
It's just brutal.
But if they have a ... I want a big cranberry juice.
And I just fucking tell the difference between Ocean Spray and some garbage ass
other ...
The other brand.
Do you know if it comes out of the gun or is it bottled?
I don't know.
First taste.
I need it to be sweet, but I need that cranberry snack.
I'll give it to you.
How do you feel about the cranberry ginger ale around the holiday season?
Love it.
Love it.
Schweppes does it better than anybody.
Canada Dry does regular ginger ale better than anybody.
Agreed.
But Schweppes cranberry?
Get the fuck out.
Now, when you were young ...
I'm going to get one of those now.
You son of a bitch.
I'm going to get one on the walk.
I'm turning on 6th Avenue and my first mission is buying a cranberry Schweppes.
I respect it.
Ooh, baby.
Katie, we're drinking good tonight.
I'm going to get her one.
My lady loves it, too.
This is live feeded to her.
I'm calling her, baby.
I'm getting cranberry Schweppes.
I saw the AYG guys.
We're getting cranberry Schweppes, baby.
You start yelling, Baba Booey.
Baba Booey, Baba Booey's penis.
Speaking of which, when you were a young man, I'm surprised you got the cranberry
juice.
Yeah.
Shout out to moms for making that work.
Well, we're ...
That wasn't cheap.
It's like cigarettes.
It's like finding your brand of cigarettes.
Sure.
You start somewhere, you move a little, you move a little bit.
So I started orange juice, as we all do.
Then I was a big cran apple guy.
I was going to ask you.
Did you get into the confusion?
Cran apple was the first one.
Unbelievable.
It's still good.
Unbelievable.
And then cranberry ... I mean, cran ... What's the other one?
Cran grape.
Cran grape.
There's also cran raspberry.
No, cran raspberry.
I don't know if the check was there.
Is that Regan bit?
Really?
Yeah.
We're living out of Regan bit.
Then I said ... I started talking like Regan.
We got apple, cran apple.
We got grape, cran grape.
That's genius, though.
Take it easy.
This is why he's a genius.
That's why he's so good.
But then I eventually was like, no.
I put all childish things away.
Sure.
Went back to the meat.
Came in a dullop.
Cranberry juice.
And this is like around middle school, so I'm getting pubes on my dick.
Yeah.
I'm drinking cranberry juice.
Playing with your guys.
You can't even ...
I'm still playing with my guys.
You got enough childish things, but you got to man up.
You got to man up on some stuff.
You got to man up on some stuff.
You got to man in a house.
Chicken juice.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Cranberry juice is where I settled.
And I loved it.
Ocean Spray, cranberry juice.
Then became my drink.
But then at the diner, when I got the coffee, especially breakfast, big plate
of eggs, toast, hash browns, bacon.
Why don't you give me a juice of some sort?
I want cranberry.
You do it a lime?
You do it a lemon in there?
Nope.
No?
Straight up.
Oh, gee.
Yeah.
I just take it three fingers of cranberry.
Neat.
Ice, cranberry.
Cranberry, neat.
I'll go no ice.
What?
Well.
Not warm.
No.
I won't go warm.
Yeah.
I got to who.
Is your cranberry chilled by any chance?
I'm sorry.
Do you have room temperature cranberry?
Shaken.
That's terrible.
My friend, this is a diner.
You need a job?
Give me a job.
Okay.
You are crazy.
No crazy people here.
I will.
There's nothing better to me than having an ocean spray cranberry thing in the
refrigerator.
The big ass bottle.
Yeah, like on, like, this Christmas?
The grip on that's great.
Trish?
Good grip.
You better have a cranberry juice at the house.
Can we go back to diner waiters are like the bouncers of New York City.
They are.
Dude, they are never scared.
They are not.
They will, they will, you'll see one, but if shit goes down, there'll be 12 of
them.
They'll all come out.
They all have the energy of people that teach self-defense classes.
Yes.
Where they go, now, my friend, I put my hand on the knife with this hand.
I remove the knife.
They're crazy.
That gives me, they just know.
They can do that, switch the gun real quick.
Oh, yeah.
No, so now this gun, my gun.
Make sure you tip.
Yeah, I went, because I lived in Astoria.
Soup salad, not included.
Astoria, I, you know, I was in Astoria for 15 years, and we would go to, now it's
closed.
The first thing, this is what the, I swear to God, this is the first thing you
ever said
to me.
Neptune Diner.
Yes.
Neptune Diner's first.
You go on Friday to get the lobster bis.
That lobster bis.
That's the first, that was the first.
And I know I was a lobster.
I know it was shrimp.
I know it was shrimp in a lobster suit.
Hey, did they have the lobster tank?
Yeah.
Because Bel Air Diner has a lobster tank.
Still filled with shrimp?
I don't know what those guys are doing.
No, they did.
Oh, yes, they did, around.
What they would do, what Neptune would do, is you would walk in, and they'd
have ice, and they'd
have all the fish right there.
No shit.
That's classic.
And they'd be like, right here, that's classic, that's classic.
Those Greeks.
I had a steak there one time that blew my doors back.
Neptune Diner was phenomenal.
Fuck.
So, the reason we're asking you all this, okay, there's been some pushback from
a friend of
ours, from the Mediterranean.
Greek himself.
Oh, Stavi?
What did Stavi?
I mean, he's got Diner in his blood.
He's got Diner in his blood.
The one thing that's been a sore spot in negotiations with Mr. Halkius, all
respect to him.
Well, I'm sorry to cut you off.
No.
You have seen us.
The last time we saw you, we were in this setting we were talking about.
Yes, we were.
We saw you at our airport breakfast.
Yeah.
When I was flying into New Orleans for Skank Fest.
And we were leaving.
And you were leaving.
And we were posted up.
And we were very jealous.
Yeah.
We ended up having a great time, but we did not want to go.
We were on the road all week, and we were showing up, and you guys were like,
it was
like, it was like, uh...
Manny came in with a little bit of a tube.
Sagalogue nailed it.
He goes, we're showing up at the par...
We worked late at the restaurant.
Oh, yeah.
This is exactly what Sagalogue said.
He goes, this is like when you get off work at the restaurant and everyone's at
the party.
And you're leaving.
And I go, and we're just going to the kitchen to take shots.
Yeah.
We're just like in the kitchen like, what happened?
Oh, we missed a fight?
And then you're just like catching up.
You didn't shower.
Still smell a little bit like the restaurant.
Dude, you got your non-slips on.
Oh, yeah.
That's what I'm saying.
You're coming in with your fucking black slacks.
Yeah.
With ranch on it.
And you're just trying to get fucked up.
That's how it felt going to the last day of Skank.
We had a boy in our fraternity house.
God love him.
He worked his way through college at a hoagie shop.
And he would show up to every party kicking like a landlord in the 30s.
Just onion scent all of them.
Still closed, though.
Still did well with the lady.
When I worked at Silvermine Subs delivering sandwiches.
Oh, with a mile high sub.
No, it was always named after prospector shit.
So it was called like the Cripple Creek.
That's pretty fun.
What it was called like.
It's a very Colorado-centric sandwich shop.
Give me the Gold Rush.
Yeah.
Yes.
I think there was one called the Gold Rush.
There was one called like the Vein or something.
But I had to deliver sandwiches for them.
The Chinese mine.
Before I started working.
Yeah.
Before the Canary.
And you go, it's laced.
I wouldn't eat it.
But they, I would deliver sandwiches, but I'd also have to make them.
Really?
And then I would get off work and go to parties and be in my Silvermine Subs.
Fucking uni.
That's always, that's a conversation you have as you're driving over.
You go, it's not that bad, right?
Yeah.
Because you're used to it.
I'll tell you what's worse.
I'll tell you what's worse.
I'll tell you what's worse.
Delivering subs to the hot girl dorm where all the cool kids live.
And they're like, well, do you go to U of A?
And you're like, yes, I'm a sophomore.
Are you a huge whore by 