Name: Strict Dress Code! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Uploaded: 2026-01-12T00:00:15.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Strict Dress Code! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-12. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Strict Dress Code! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley' from AreYouGarbage? Comedy Podcast on Comedy Buff. Published 2026-01-12. Transcript available.

Strict Dress Code! | Are You Garbage Comedy Podcast w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Gang, it's a brand new year and the boys are heading back out on the road for
that Back on the Block tour.
Come on out and see us, stand-up comedy, and then you get to ask your garbage
questions to me and Neil Kipperino.
Yeah, baby, it's a good time. We got Austin, Texas, Tampa, Florida, Chicago,
Illinois, Bloomington, Indiana, Nashville, Tennessee, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania,
and Cleveland, Ohio.
These shows are going to sell out. Get your ticket. Don't snooze. You're going
to lose. We'll see you there, lovers.
Welcome to another exciting edition of R.U. Garbage, the show where you find
out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash.
Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley.
Hey, everybody out there, and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast.
This is R.U. Garbage.
It's that little show where we sit down with your favorite comedians and we
find that it's a group to be classy or just a big old piece of trash.
Trash, trash, trash.
I'm your host, Dave Foley, coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back
here with Tootie's in a new edition.
She's off to the theater tonight.
Okay.
Shen Yun.
Shen Yun.
Shen Yun.
Shen Yun?
I think it's Shen. I don't know what it is.
I can get my eyes on this.
Uh-huh.
They say it's a spectacle.
Is that right?
China before communism.
Really?
That's what it's all about.
Whoa.
Uh-huh.
What are they doing?
I don't know. You tell me, offensive coordinator.
Got the real X's and O's on this, huh?
Blue 42.
My co-host is coming at you across the table.
This is what we call a family episode.
Just the boys, the bozos, and their insults, apparently.
Uh-huh.
He is the CEO of R.U. Garbage.
He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world,
unfortunately.
Give it up for KJ, Kevin, James, Ryan.
What up, gang? Shout-out to you, as always.
Please make sure you rate, review, subscribe on iTunes.
Full video available on YouTube.
Full video available over there on Spotify.
Boys are climbing the friggin' charts.
There we are.
Listen, we're the little pod that could, baby.
We're a bootstrapped operation.
Now look at us.
Number what?
What were we last week?
27?
87.
We were number 87 in all podcasts on Spotify.
All podcasts.
Crazy.
You know why?
Why?
We were dropping episodes during the break when nobody else was.
That's when we fucking moved, daddy-o.
We get in there like bedbugs.
Everybody else is off in the fucking Caribbean, not the boys.
Well, you know, they say a good defense is a good offense.
That's what I tell my guys.
And I hit the showers.
And the boys on the road, New Year, same back on the block tour.
We got new cities coming.
Tickets are fucking moving, gang.
We got Chicago.
We got Austin.
I mean, these shows are more than halfway sold out, and we're months away.
You got Austin.
You got Chicago.
You got Tampa, which we're going to be all filming down there, Tampa, and Sidesplitters.
So get them, Tiggie Wiki.
Porn's legal down here, too.
It's weird.
It is.
No, not in Florida.
Yeah, it is.
If you shut the fuck up, it could be.
Nah, because I got a VPN, and I switched it to Miami, and that still denied me.
No, but that's when you're consuming.
Talking about production.
Luke?
Well, I think it's legal everywhere.
Is it?
This ain't shit.
This is Shen Yun, baby.
This is pre-communism.
Why is Patty giving me such a hard time?
He didn't pull the right permits.
Goddamn teamster staring at me.
I'm trying to chub one up.
Guy with a boom mic.
I can't do this.
You're the new Bonnie Blue.
There's a bunch of dudes waiting in ski masks.
Hello.
Good Lord.
Hello, Wellington.
Cup of tea for the big fella, huh?
I, uh, I got some, man, I'm a bozo, right?
Oh, what?
Okay.
Guys, we gotta take a walk by and say hi to Luke at the corner office.
I don't like, uh, can the OC stop showering with the team?
You're getting in the showers?
Yeah, keep calling for showers.
I blew it.
I'm out.
Good thing you went over to the non-comedian group.
Thanks for doing that.
Stop it.
Two weeks off of vacation, too.
This guy's still a London time.
I'm on mush.
Mushy peas.
Ooh, don't get me started.
Well, Doc.
You fucked up.
I'm a bozo.
Yeah.
I'm a bozo, right?
Yeah.
I, well, what?
I don't know.
You do, yeah.
I'm not as, I mean, I'm better than you at most, most socially.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, as you know, um, me and my broad and, uh.
The lady.
And the baby did a nice little.
Your family.
My family did a road trip from Florida back home.
Mueling.
Mueling.
Yeah.
Uh-huh.
He put all the diapers.
That's the way Henry Hill did it.
Listen, that ain't that fucking, that ain't Similac.
Um.
Simismack.
Luke.
God damn it, what did I tell you?
Ha, ha, ha, ha.
Hey, good one, Boston.
So, uh, one of our stops was the wonderful Baltimore.
Mm.
Baltimore City.
B-Town.
B-Town.
Right?
Now we're there.
So, um, we had, we had drove, uh, we were down in Orlando.
Mm-hmm.
So, I didn't really, I was expected to be by a pool and hanging out.
Mm-hmm.
So, I didn't really have any, like, nice formal wear.
Okay.
Right?
And, uh, nice clothes.
You didn't bring dinner clothes.
Nah.
Well, T-shirts.
I thought you were supposed to go to, uh, the STX.
The state cap.
Don't wear a T-shirt to that.
Like, a nice T-shirt.
You know what I mean?
What are we doing?
You can.
Sure.
You got a chain on the outside.
Flash and some ice.
I was going to get you a chain.
I got one.
No, a real one.
I have a real one.
No, you do not.
That's fake gold.
No, it's not.
Moody gold, as the gypsies call it.
What?
I don't know.
It was a snatch.
Okay.
Chock full of moody gold.
Make sure that's not racist.
ChatGPT says that is.
Um, so we get, so it's a long, arduous journey, right?
We're staying in hotels, jumping, jumping, fucking shitty motel, decent motel,
shitty motel.
We get to Baltimore.
Uh-huh.
And I go, you know what?
We, we've been kind of wearing the same clothes.
We didn't have cold weather clothes.
Right.
Right.
So I had one pair of pants and one hoodie.
And same with my wife.
So we've been like, just kind of, we just needed a change.
So we went to a polo outlet.
You did.
Stopped at a polo outlet.
Whole family got fucking fleeced out.
Oh my God.
In a polo outlet.
You couldn't tell me shit.
You were in the Ralph Lauren line instead.
All of us, dude.
All of us got a fucking polo outlet.
Those cardboard shoes, they sell at Penn Station.
Those things stink.
I picked them up a couple of times.
Out at the NY Fashions.
Yeah.
Um, so I did, I bought a hoodie.
I bought like a, I bought a hoodie and then whatever.
So we.
Hey, what a nice hoodie to go out to dinner.
No, we weren't going out to dinner at this time.
Uh-huh.
We just needed a fresh thing to close.
I'm like, I need a hoodie.
What are you guys on the run?
What the fuck?
It's kind of like that.
Well, I mean, what are we doing?
We were in.
What color did she dye her hair?
She cut it.
Like, I cut her hair and like born, born identity.
Put a mustache on the baby.
He's 32.
Talk to a veteran like that?
You're drunk.
Um.
So we decide, we, you know, we, we get to Baltimore.
I go, you know what?
There's a nice steakhouse that I get my eyes on.
Capital.
No.
Okay.
It's called the Ruxton Steakhouse.
Oh, I know it.
How do you know it?
I know it.
How do you know it?
I know the Ruxton.
How?
Huh?
What exactly?
I know the family.
The Ruxton family?
Yes.
Okay.
So we go.
Maryland Ruxton's.
The Ruxton's from Maryland.
Yes.
The Steak family.
Yes.
That's big steak money.
That's a lot of steak money.
So we go, uh, 4.4 stars.
Nice.
I got a pair of jeans on.
I bought it.
Wait, you bring Junior?
Yeah.
Well, I call.
I make sure they, I make sure they accommodate kids.
They say, yeah, kids of all ages are welcome.
So you got him parked next to the table like he's a Caesar salad?
They make it at the table.
No, he's in a high chair.
They say, we welcome kids from all, kids of all ages and we'll provide high
chairs.
Give him a little something?
He did, he did the Wagyu tasting.
Munch on that, little fuckhead.
So.
He probably looks cute in a little high chair.
We get in there, uh, right?
You know.
I know how to operate in these situations pretty, you know, decent.
You've been out to eat with me at a nice joint.
Yeah.
I got, I got a pair of jeans on, right?
That's how I got a pair of jeans on.
Uh-huh.
Uh.
Your Ralph Rolo hoodie?
No, no hoodie.
I got a nice brand new, uh, t-shirt.
Okay.
Right?
Nice t-shirt.
Black t-shirt.
Like, navy blue t-shirt.
Nice.
And I bought a, uh, uh, uh, it was 50% off a polo puffer.
Like, you know, like one of those, like, uh, not like a big puff, but like, uh,
one of the
things that those rich guys wear.
You know who's wearing them a lot these days?
Who?
Matt Dillon and fucking Ben Stiller going into the Knicks games.
Sure.
Something like that.
That Knicks lineup.
Everybody going in.
Shut up.
Hey, you little jelly.
Ah, get out of here.
You little jelly.
Bullshit.
So.
Everybody, you Nick, Nick.
I'm a little, I'm a little upset.
Shut up to the Knicks.
I'm a little, uh, you know, I'm like, I'm taking a baby to a nice restaurant
Sunday.
It's like early.
It's like.
She crying?
It's like six.
No, he was, he was great.
It's like six something.
So I'll lose it.
So it's not that late.
Right?
Also, I'm not like, you know, so it's like six something.
You're not there at 10 when it's popping.
When the dealers are in there.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Uh, so I'm like, I want to go in.
We're going to, it says all kids are welcome.
There was no like age.
So I go, okay.
Um, we get there.
They're super accommodating.
Now I'm, I'm in my jean.
I got jeans on like dark jeans.
I look like I could go into, I've worn worse to restaurants in New York.
You know what I mean?
I've worn a bathing suit.
Sure.
So I'm like, I got, I got a brand new nice t-shirt on, dark pair of jeans, pair
of clean
Nike, clean Jordans.
Okay.
I look all right.
Okay.
And I got my, I got my polo puffer on.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
So I roll in.
It's a jacket.
Jacket.
Yeah.
Winter coat.
But like light.
What did that set you back?
I was 50% off.
Not bad.
I forget what it was, but 50% off.
Is it one of the, like the quilted ones or whatever?
Yeah.
Like the thin.
Not quilted.
The thin lines.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Pretty, you know, something like his dad would wear.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
That's like, I felt like a, I felt like a businessman.
Yeah.
Like on the stand on and watching his kid's t-ball game.
His dad probably didn't buy it at an outlet.
Hey, you don't know.
You don't, you know.
Yeah.
He doesn't strike me as a.
Dempsey's love a deal.
Do they?
They do.
I bet they do.
Um, so.
That was harsh.
I go in and, uh, they're super accommodating.
They're like, hey, you want to park your stroller behind the hostess desk?
You know, I go, oh yeah, that'd be great.
Put it up front with the good ones.
Making sure it's facing out too.
I can get the fuck out of here.
You're rolling to a steakhouse with a stroller.
Mm-hmm.
Listen, they said they accommodate kids, right?
It's okay.
So I, so they're super nice.
Hey, right.
He ain't mine.
He's my nephew.
They're super nice to go, hey, we have this four top here, like on the edge, or
we can put
you at like one of the bigger tables with like the booth.
Yeah, they got to.
They got to kiss your ass.
Why?
I don't know.
Because they're probably going to write a bad review.
I went in there with my uber-sized baby.
He's in a barber chair.
So it couldn't have been more because nice, sweet, we go sit down, they get him,
the high
chair, I plop him in the high chair, the broad sits down.
I, you know, I fucking, I got my puffer on, I take my puffer off, I put it on
the chair.
No co-check?
No co-check.
It's okay, but I go, it's all right.
We got all our stuff.
Was there a co-check?
No, not that I saw.
And they didn't offer.
There wasn't.
They might have not where a normal co-check was.
Okay.
There was no co-check.
So I take my puffer off, I put it on the big, nice, like corporate steakhouse
chairs.
Love them.
You know, you're fucking in it, you got the armrest.
Yeah, you're great, it