Name: Tim Heidecker Stand Up Two!
Uploaded: 2007-02-21T19:40:11.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Heidecker Stand Up Two!' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2007-02-21. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Heidecker Stand Up Two!' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2007-02-21. Transcript available.

Great to be here. Thanks for having me. This is actually my second night here
at the Big Fish.
I played here last week, and I was third, and now I'm fourth.
So, obviously, things went pretty well last week.
Check my note.
Well, so Valentine's Day was last week.
Hey, anyone checking out the news about this Ann Nicole Smith with a paternity
suit going on?
Come on.
The guy should probably just get a DNA test or a paternity test and be able to
figure it out.
Okay, so, basically, I feel like there are two different kinds of people in the
world.
You know, it's sort of like being a Democrat or a Republican.
Basically, you're either a Coke person, a Coca-Cola person, or you're a Pepsi
guy, right?
So, I'm a Coke person. I like Coca-Cola.
Anybody? How many people here like Coke?
Awesome.
I don't know what it is. I don't think it's some sort of, you know, it's not
some logical reason or anything.
It's just a personal preference.
I like Coke.
I just think it tastes better than Pepsi.
So, anyways, so the other, like a week ago, I was at my manager's house, and he,
I go into the fridge to get a snack, or to get a drink, that is, and he's got
nothing but Pepsi in there.
So, I go, Mike, you know I got, you know I like Coke.
Just keep some Coke in the fridge for when I come over.
Just keep some Coke in the fridge for when I come over, and I go to the concession
stand, and the guy's, sorry.
And, um, I say to the guy, do you have, I say to this bitch behind the counter,
I'm like, do you serve, um, can I get a Coke?
And she goes, is Pepsi all right?
I'm like, no, if Pepsi's all right, I would have said Pepsi.
I would have asked for Pepsi if that's what I wanted.
And what, what's up with Cherry Coke?
How many people here have had, um, have even eaten a cherry before?
Like a real, honest, a real cherry?
Yeah.
Because if you've had Cherry Coke, you know, you're like me, you're going, that
doesn't even taste like cherries.
When you, it's not even cherry, in other words, I think Cherry Coke is just
like sweeter Coke.
It just tastes like sweeter Coke, which is what, is what Pepsi tastes like
anyway, so that's why I'm not drinking Pepsi.
So why am I supposed to drink Cherry Coke?
It's like, come on.
And then my, my girlfriend is over there drinking Diet Coke, and I'm going, you're
trying to tell me that the same thing between, um, sweet and low is the same as
sugar, but it doesn't taste the same.
Oh, yeah, I got a couple more.
And of course, we all know every week there's a new soda they're trying to sell
to us.
He's trying to shove down our throats this week.
What was it, everybody?
Sierra Mist.
And, uh, and, uh, and, uh, and I felt like, I felt like calling the guy on the,
I felt like calling the factory and going, yeah, maybe I liked your soda better
when it was 7-Up.
Woo!
Thank you.
Anyway, but I do like those commercials for Sierra Mist.
How many people have seen those commercials with Mike Lee and Black and some of
the other guys?
Everything's cool.
It's cool stuff.
It kind of reminded me of some of those other commercials I, I remember from
growing up as a kid.
Uh, this brand that I used to love, Coke, well, Coke, Coke, great commercial
for Coca-Cola was,
Mmm, I like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.
Mmm.
Thanks, guys.
Thank you very much.
Good night.
Tim Heidecker, everybody.
Tim Heidecker.
He's been, uh, he's been working out his act in the, in the clubs.
He's been working out his act in the clubs lately.
Uh, so, uh, let's see.