Name: Tim Heidecker stand up Four!!!!
Uploaded: 2007-05-09T17:57:32.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Heidecker stand up Four!!!!' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2007-05-09. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Heidecker stand up Four!!!!' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2007-05-09. Transcript available.

And he lives near the fire and he requested that it goes on early so he can get
back to his house before it burns.
Let's bring him out. Tim Heidecker.
Thank you, Doug. Thanks, Doug. Thanks, Denver.
D&D Joke Center, how's everybody doing tonight?
Yeah, let's hear it. Let's get a little energy back in the room.
Let's hear it.
How about this?
Mother's Day. Mother's Day is coming up on Sunday.
So we got to send my mom a set of flowers, a dozen of flowers today.
Oh, so has anyone heard this news about Paris Hilton?
She's going to have to go to jail for whatever, for the DUI.
But I heard this on the news just a couple weeks ago, or maybe it was a few
days ago today.
They said that Toyota actually just outsold GM.
So Toyota car company just outsold GM, General Motors.
And, yeah, I was like, there was this, when I was a kid, there was, my dad sold
Fords, right?
So when he, well, we used to go, Chevy sucks, whenever, like, Chevys would
drive by, because there was always Ford against Chevy.
But anyway, but there were, Toyota got these Priuses, the hybrid cars, how many
people would drive a hybrid car?
Anybody?
But it got me thinking, because I was thinking, what does hybrid mean?
And I didn't even know, so I looked it up on the internet, dictionary.com, and
it gave me this definition.
Hybrid, the offspring of two animals or plants of different breeds, varieties,
species, or, anyway, it goes on.
But that's in dictionary.com, and it doesn't even have anything to do with a
car, so.
But it's like that whole thing, where it's like, you're either one person, you're
either one thing or another thing.
And it's like with Coke, you know, like, I like Coke.
Coke or Coke, right?
And then there's all these other people that like Pepsi, right?
So it's like a yin-yang.
It's like, some people like Coke.
Who likes, who here likes Coke?
In other words, it's funny, because I was at my manager's house a couple weeks
ago, and he, it's crazy, because he knows I'm coming over.
And I go into the, and we're watching TV, and I go into the kitchen to get a
snack, and I go in the fridge, and there's nothing in there but Pepsi.
And I go, Mike, you know I like Coke, so why don't you go and get some Coke if
you know I'm coming over.
But it's the same thing, even when you're at the movie theater, and you go up
to the concession stand, and you ask the guy, this happened to me the other day,
and I go up to this bitch in the counter, and I go, can I get a Coke?
And she says, but we don't have Coke, we sell Pepsi.
She says, can I get a, she says, is Pepsi okay?
And I go, no, if I wanted a Coke, I'd get a, if I wanted a Pepsi, I'd get a
Coke.
But this happens all the time, so.
But with sodas, you know, they got, what do they have, every week there's a new
soda coming out.
What was last week's soda?
Sierra Mist.
And it's just, you know, I don't mind, I don't mind, I mean, it's a, it's a
nice dress, tastes like 7up and everything, but I like the commercials for it,
which kind of reminded me of this, if everyone remembers this old thing when
they were growing up.
I'd like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.
It's a Coca-Cola jingle, isn't it?
Yeah.
So.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thanks for the team.
Tim Heidecker, everybody.
Give them a round of applause.