Name: Tim Heidecker Stand Up Six
Uploaded: 2007-10-29T18:53:47.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Heidecker Stand Up Six' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2007-10-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Heidecker Stand Up Six' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2007-10-29. Transcript available.

Hi, thank you everybody. Thanks for being here. Everybody's on that side.
I just want to say a couple of things before I start my set.
Just to the promoter, the guy that set up the show up, it's probably not a good
idea to have a half-hour of music of up-tempo,
popular, you know, crowd-pleasing music before a comedian's going to go on
because it kind of ruins the atmosphere or it ruins the energy in the room.
So, that's not for you guys, it's for the promoter. And also, it wouldn't kill
you to put some water backstage.
'Cause it was backed up about a half-hour.
So, that's a note for you guys. Also, I want to thank Chris from the Comedy
Store for coming out tonight.
I hope he's still here. Chris?
I was supposed to go out at 9:45, it's now 10:15. So, if Chris, you're not here,
then I'll, we'll rearrange, I'll call you on Monday.
If you're not here, just do it.
Okay, a couple things. When my manager said I was going to play Spaceland, I
was not surprised after seeing that last band because that was seriously from
outer space.
I got wildfires written down here. I have no idea what that's about.
Oh, shit. Well, I think what I was going to say was that because of this place
being called Spaceland, that those people with the houses who get burned down
would probably want to be in space.
Okay. Um, damn it. Okay.
The, uh, political, political, uh, politics season is coming up or is up so
soon.
And it seems like all these people are running for president, which, um, every
day is a new person.
I just heard this one was, um, Hillary Clinton running for president.
It's, come on, a woman, a woman president. And how convenient that this week is
Halloween because trick or treat, I say trick for her because she's a dirty
trick.
Um, so, but it is like politics though, you know, everything is a political
situation.
For example, like either you're a Republican or you're a Democrat.
You either, and it's the same for everything, for food, for drinks, for example,
um, soft drinks, soda.
You get, you, you've got, you're either a Coke person or you're a Pepsi person,
right?
Cause I am a Coke person. How many people here like Coke? But Pepsi? Yes. Yes.
Um, but it's one of those things that happens all the time for me because I
wake up, the other different, here's a great example.
Um, I was at my manager's house a couple weeks ago and, um, I go in the kitchen,
I was hanging out, we're just hanging out.
I go in the kitchen for a snack and he's got, and I go up in the fridge for a
drink and he's got nothing but Pepsi in there.
And I go, Mike, you know I like Coke, keep a six pack of Coke and there's
something.
So, whatever, that's just one example. Another good example that happened to me
was, I was at the, um, I was at the movies a couple weeks ago.
Um, I saw The Kingdom. And I go to the refreshment stand for a Coke and, um,
popcorn. And I ask for a Coke. I said, can I have a Coke?
I said, can I have a Coke? And the woman behind the counter's bitch behind the
counter says, is Pepsi okay?
And I said, I said, no, if I wanted a Coke, if I wanted a, if I wanted a Pepsi,
I would get a, I would ask for a Coke.
I would ask for a Pepsi. I would ask for a Pepsi.
In other words, don't ask me if that's okay, cause it's not. But you know, it's,
um, it's, it's, it's three parts of this or something.
But it's, you know, soda's funny because it's the same, you know, every week
there's a new soda on the market.
What was last week's, a Sierra Mist. It's like, I want to go down to the
factory and knock on the door and say, yep.
Hello. I liked your soda better when it was called 7up. Thank you. Thank you
very much.
It's just those, it's, it's like, you know, but I do, I do actually, I have to
admit, I do have to admit, I do like those commercials for Sierra Mist.
With some, some talented comedians are in them. I think they're having a good
time with it. And I appreciate, it's good to see fellow comedians get work,
right?
Yeah!
But you know, they don't, they don't make the commercials like they, they used
to.
For example, if you remember the old Coca-Cola commercial, which was, um, I'd
like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony.
Thank you guys. Thank you so much. Goodnight.
Thank you.
Right now, um, the guy said I had five minutes and I didn't see a light, so I
apologize and, um, I got nothing else.
But, um, I'll be happy to work on some stuff. Maybe next time you guys come out
and see me.
Or, um, I was just gonna go on a limb and, um, I could talk a little bit about
the World Series, which I was watching tonight.
Um, a couple things, and I hate to close on this because it's a little bit, it's
better, I think it's better to open with this stuff than close with it.
Because I think the Coke stuff's a little better to close with.
Um, but I would like to make two observations.
The first one is I was watching, um, I was watching, um, the World Series
tonight and it dawned on me, this, uh, these Red Sox are the team to beat.
Because they seem to dominate.
But also there was the, how much, how much advertising is there in baseball
these days?
A lot of advertising.
There's ads for Chevy and everything else.
So, that's the second observation.
The third was, um, this got to me.
I thought this was a good idea because everybody's swinging and missing.
And I thought if they had a little bit longer bat, maybe they'd hit some of
those outside pitches.
Thank you, good night.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.
High card.
One more thing.
Sean Penn should keep his mouth shut.
He doesn't know what he's talking about.
God bless.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Thank you.