Name: Tim Heidecker Stand Up Eight
Uploaded: 2008-08-30T05:44:09.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Heidecker Stand Up Eight' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2008-08-30. Transcript available. They finally get it. Oh how far this act has come.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Tim Heidecker Stand Up Eight' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2008-08-30. Transcript available. They finally get it. Oh how far this act has come.

I want to thank Mike if he's here tonight from the Comedy Store for checking me
out.
I appreciate you coming out, just trying out some new stuff.
Mike, if you're interested, we'll talk after the show, I don't know, he's still
here.
Some other acts tonight.
Boy, it's cool being here, I was driving over here,
and I thought to myself, comedy at a cemetery, probably not the best idea.
There are a lot of posters of the movies up here, you get The Exorcist up there,
it's a cool movie, Godfather.
Apocalypse Now, Marvin Brando is in that movie here.
Shampoo.
Clockwork Orange.
Jaws, and Star Wars, can't forget Star Wars, big poster for Star Wars tonight.
The Hero Rating.
Ratch, Ratch, Ratch Dan.
First character, I don't know what that one was.
And a Psychoan show, and...
Anyway, um, happy to be here, thank you very much again.
Um, just a quick note to the guys running the show, I know this is your first
time here, but, um, it would be helpful to just let me know about the drink
tickets when I got here.
Because I had to talk to the bartender, where she is, about setting up, I had
to explain to her that I was going to show off.
If you could just give me drink tickets, right there, just talk, just give her
a drink ticket, I don't have to explain that, I'm a comedian or anything.
How many people have been watching the Democratic National Convention?
It's interesting.
My eyes have been glued to it, actually.
A couple of things, a couple of points that I took off of watching the
convention the past couple of days.
Hillary Clinton was on the convention.
And she was, interestingly, she said, um...
She said, that she was for...
She was against...
She...
She was a candidate against Barack Obama.
And then she...
Then she is now supporting him.
And it's like, flip-flop.
So...
Also...
Then I see this guy, um...
Joe...
Joe...
Biden.
Governor Joe Biden.
Delaware.
He comes out and gives, uh, this speech where he...
If you happen to notice, when he was running for president, he was against
Barack Obama.
And...
No, I'm serious.
He was against Barack Obama.
And now...
360 degrees...
He's...
He's...
He's...
He's...
He's...
He's running...
He's running...
He's running...
He's running...
And it's like...
You know what it reminds me...
It's like...
It's sort of like, uh...
It's sort of like the...
It's...
I have an analogy back here.
It's an analogy for this.
There's an analogy for this.
There's an analogy for this scenario.
Sort of like, hmm. I have an analogy back here. There's an analogy for this.
There's an analogy for this scenario.
It's as if, it's an analogy. Biden analogy, I've got written down, Biden
analogy. If you had a car, if you, okay, here you go. If you wanted it, if you,
you, yeah. If you bought, if you wanted to buy a car, and you knew what car you
wanted, if you bought, and you got the car, then you made the car.
Forget it. Mike, are you still? I can't, I don't know what it looks like, so.
But you know, it's funny. It's like, it, politics is like
everything else in life, I feel like. It is like, you know, you either, you
either are black or you're white, or you're a Republican, or you're a Democrat.
Either, and for me, it's always funny to think about these terms, either you
like Coke, or you like Pepsi.
Right? For instance, how many people here like Coke, Coke, Coke? How many
people? Let's hear it. Right. How many people like Pepsi?
I mean, not so much. I personally, I personally am a Coke guy, and I really do
think that there is a difference.
For example, but it's funny, because you know, you do, I like what I like, and
I'm not going to apologize for it.
But I tell everybody I like Coke, but some people don't listen, they've got earplugs
in their ears.
For example, for example, a couple weeks ago, I was over at my manager's house,
Greg, Greg, my manager at Greg's house, and I said, Greg, can I, well, I should
start, let me go back to the beginning.
And I go to something like my manager's house, my manager at Greg's house, I'm
at my manager at Greg's house, try to remember the story.
I'm at my manager's, I'm at my manager at Greg's house, thank you, and I say,
Greg, can I get a drink?
He says, sure, help yourself, go in the fridge. I go in the fridge, there's
only Pepsi in there.
I say, Greg, you know I like Coke, get some Coke for the fridge, even if it's a
six-pack.
Another good example is, I'm at the movies the other day, and it was about a
week ago.
And I go to this woman, this bitch behind the counter, I say, can I get a, can
I get a Coke?
And she says, well, we only have Pepsi.
And I said, well, if I wanted a Coke, if I wanted a Pepsi, I would ask for a
Coke.
If I would ask for a, I would ask for a Pepsi.
I'm sorry, I'm filming this tonight for my review on this.
I hope you don't mind.
Do you mind if I try that just one more time, just so I can get a clean take of
it?
Everyone just pretend like we're just still in it.
So the other example is, I went to the movies the other day.
And I saw, um, take two.
It's like I went to the movies the other day, and I said, can I get a Coke?
And this bitch behind the counter says, can I get a Coke?
So I went to the movies the other day, and I asked for a Coke.
And this bitch behind the counter says, we don't have a Coke, we got a Pepsi.
And I said, if I wanted a Coke, it's mah!
If I wanted a Pepsi, I would've asked for one for Pepsi.
But it's always the same.
But every week, the Pepsi company, or the Coke, or the soda companies are
bringing out a whole new line of sodas.
They're trying to con us.
They think we're idiots, right?
What was last week?
Sierra Mist.
Come on.
I feel like going down to the plant, knocking on the door and saying, hello.
I think I liked the soda better when it was called, 7up.
But I actually, I feel like Sierra Mist.
Especially like all their, um, television commercials that they, uh, they've
got some really funny comedians there.
Drew Gaffigan, and uh, Mike N. Black, and Tim Meadows.
And people like that have been in the, uh, uh, ads.
And, um, but it sort of makes me nostalgic for the old days.
When, when soda commercials used to be a little more, sort of, you know, um, uplifting,
I guess.
Remember this one?
But I'd like to teach the world to see.
And put them to the heart of the need.
Thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen.
Good night.
Good night.
Good night, guys.
We're going to be right.
Yes!