Name: Rolling Stone Keynote Address at the LA Food Bank Charity Event
Uploaded: 2012-12-05T17:00:43.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rolling Stone Keynote Address at the LA Food Bank Charity Event' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2012-12-05. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'Rolling Stone Keynote Address at the LA Food Bank Charity Event' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2012-12-05. Transcript available.

Rolling Stone Magazine.
That is exciting. Please welcome Tim Heidecker.
Hi everybody. How you doing tonight?
Thank you very much, Scott.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
And thanks for having me at this really wonderful and very funny event.
I'll tell you, the L.A. Food Bank is where I keep all my food.
Like just the other day, I made a 25-pound deposit of corn and flour.
It's a little joke.
Seriously, though, it's a great cause, and I'm really excited to be here with
you guys today.
As Scott said, two days ago, Jan Werner, I replaced Jan Werner as the editor-in-chief
of Rolling Stone Magazine.
I can only imagine those here that are familiar with my work and television and
film might be, shall we say, surprised.
And frankly, this is something that I didn't even imagine for myself up until a
few weeks ago when we started talking about this as a possibility.
And it's kind of surreal for me, even though I've been a subscriber to the
magazine since I was 13 years old.
Well, let me just take this opportunity to briefly speak about where I see the
magazine going under my stewardship.
It's a plan that I outlined on my blog a few days ago, but I'd like to
reiterate it tonight for those of you who weren't able to see it before the
show.
I think it's pretty simple.
The one thing we want to start looking at is, if you're familiar with Rolling
Stone, the way we review albums is we have a one-to-five-star review system.
What I'd like to see happen is that we introduce a sixth-star.
Because I believe that there are albums out there that are true classics that
deserve six stars.
And in some ways, it's a nod to the six-string guitar.
A lot of some of the great rock music features.
We'd also like to begin introducing cartoons in the style of the New Yorker
into the magazine.
I think these are very popular in the New Yorker.
I think this would be really great to introduce cartoons like this with more of
a rock theme, featuring some classic rock acts and situations.
I'll be writing a semi-regular political editorial that will be from the right
side of the spectrum to balance the left-leaning tone of the magazine.
I'll also be encouraging politically active rockers like Meat Loaf and Lindsey
Buckingham to begin submitting pieces.
I honestly, truly do believe that there is a real need for diversity in thought,
and I'm happy to provide that balance.
Thank you.
And we'll continue to create our wildly popular lists.
I don't know how many people here are familiar with the lists we create.
100 greatest guitar players.
Some of the 100, you know, 200 greatest rock albums of all time.
And I'm so excited about this.
We've got some, excuse me.
A couple of new lists that I'm excited about.
10 Dr. John songs that you might have missed.
25 secrets that Billy Joe Armstrong doesn't want you to know about.
Kind of a provocative list.
Five R.E.M. albums that are worth skipping.
And 50 songs that Steely Dan should have written.
And finally, we'd like to return focus to the bands and artists that help build
Rolling Stone into the icon that it is.
With celebratory stories covering our favorite acts like Van Morrison, Bonnie
Wright, Eagles, Rolling Stones, and Beatles, Led Zeppelin, et cetera, et cetera.
So that's my plan.
And I'm so grateful to Jan and the great people at Time Warner for giving me
this opportunity to make this sort of dream that I didn't even know I had come
true.
So listen, as many of you guys know, the magazine industry is facing some very
challenging times.
The move to digital has been a necessary development and one I believe that
Rolling Stone has been a leader in.
And we will continue to grow and expand our online presence as well as our work
on digital devices and tablets.
How many people use the digital-only version of Rolling Stone here?
Or tablets.
Anybody with tablets?
Let's see.
But let me make this very clear.
And I really want you guys to listen to this because it's very important.
Make no mistake.
We still believe in print.
We still believe in print.
That is why I'm excited to announce that I've begun negotiations to merge
Rolling Stone with TV Guide.
Since 1953, TV Guide has been one of the most respected and popular TV
magazines in the business.
Their domination at the grocery counter and with home subscriptions has been
truly remarkable.
I think it's a perfect match.
Now, how many people here change their minds about Rolling Stone?
How many people, can we get some new subscriptions out of you guys tonight?
Anybody interested in subscribing to Rolling Stone right now?
Every subscription helps.
Sir, I'd be happy to talk to you after the show about getting a subscription
started.
But I got one more kind of a cool surprise I'd like to share with you guys
tonight.
Scott, are you there?
Can you come out here?
Scott?
Thank you very much for putting this show together.
Congratulations for the show so far.
It's been a lot of fun.
Do you need a microphone?
You don't really need one.
This isn't really a two-man bid.
See ya?
Sure.
It is my pleasure and honor as editor-in-chief to announce that Rolling Stone
is presenting
the L.A. Food Bank with a one-year free membership to the print edition.
Wow.
Thank you so much.
When you say membership, does it mean a subscription?
Yeah, it's a subscription for one year.
That's all I've been accessed to allow.
Thank you.
And that's included, if you have a tablet, or not you, but if the food bank
doesn't show
you, you'll be able to access all the material that's on the tablet, as well as
there's a
paywall for the site, so you'll be able to access the break through the paywall
and get
all the content that you get on the site.
Does this include the hot issue?
All the issues.
There's one-year free membership for the great folks at the L.A. Food Bank.
Thank you, Scott.
Oh, listen.
All right, well, thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.