Name: The Ballad of ICE Agent Ray
Uploaded: 2019-01-29T14:57:18.000Z
Description: Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Ballad of ICE Agent Ray' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-29. Transcript available.

Watch the stand-up comedy video 'The Ballad of ICE Agent Ray' from Tim Heidecker on Comedy Buff. Published 2019-01-29. Transcript available.

Down along the southern border rides Agent Ray
Been working for rice for ten years, he hasn't missed a day
He's got a big old furnace, filled with coffee
A Mountain Dew if it's the afternoon
And binoculars too
Over yonder on the golden horizon Head and shoulders appear
It's a family of four, with women and children
Starting to get near
He flashes his badge, pulls his gun
He yells, get down on the ground, everyone
You're coming with me
You're coming with me
Rain loads him into his padded wagon
And he slams the door
Kids start rolling
Wind atundering
The head hits the floor
Up in the cabaret calls it in
Just another Monday afternoon
What you gonna do
Back in town at the detention center
Ray checks them in
Fingerprints him, stamps and collects him
He gets their next of kin
The kids go this way
The mommas go that
The kids go this way
The mommas go that
The kids go this way
The mommas go that
What you gonna do
What you gonna do
What you gonna do
Back at home
After a long day of work
The race settles down
He pops a beer
He sits in his chair
He takes a look around
He takes a look around
Well all he wants to do
Is sit back and watch cartoons
What a new
What a new
What a new
What a new
What a new
you